Sleepless night

Jace

I have been sitting on the door to Amy's apartment for hours now. Like a real jerk! She must be asleep by now. What happened? I didn't freak out. My wolf lost control. I started transforming in front of Amy. I could feel my claws digging into Amy's skin. My wolf wanted to mark her. To mark his mate so that everyone will know she is his. Amy is not ready for this. What if she hates me when she finds out exactly who I am? That is all that has been filling my head since I left Amy's kitchen like a chicken.

I want to go back in but what will I tell her? She is probably mad at me now. I stand up and stare at the door.

"I'm so sorry, Amy," I mutter to myself, remembering the glossy eyes that glared at me with disappointment. Dude, put your shit together, my subconscious screams at me. I turn on my heels and walk out of the apartment block. I walk into the woods remembering the first time I teased Amy about it. Things have been surely happening so fast.

My wolf is so eager to burst out of me when I enter the woods. He jumps and howls. I want to argue with him but how can I? He is me and we are what makes Jace. He wants what I want. Though I try to put human understanding into the situation, he follows his instincts. I can't blame him for ruining tonight for us.

I take a lot of time running through the woods. I am so angry, more than I thought I would be. I can't go home now, some annoying individuals like Jose and his wife will be pesky about the matter. I can't wait for their house construction to finish so they can get the hell out of my house. I am not kicking them out.

We are family and we have to be there for each other. Though we call ourselves a park sometimes, we technically aren't. We don't have an alpha. I am supposed to be the alpha but I don't want to. The other males don't want to be. They insist that it is my responsibility because of heritage shit. If I become a mated wolf then they will be more demanding. I have taken good care of it the three families nonetheless. They have been true family and loyal. After my father was brutally killed and our original park taken over by another alpha, they still stayed by my side. That is why I still stand them even when they can get very nosey and stubborn. I can't go through what my father went through for the park . I'm fine just the way I am with my small family.

My head hurts like hell when I reach home. Luckily, the coast is clear when I enter the house. After drinking some water from the sink, I go to my room. I collapse on the bed and the entire house goes dead silent. Part of me is wishing Amy can join me soon. I am surprised how fast my mind is planning.

I am hopeless at getting sleep. The first two hours of sleep are filled with terrifying dreams of my father's death. I don't know why I am having those dreams now. It has been a long time since I dreamed about that.

After being unsuccessful at sleep, I crawl out of bed and go to the living room. I should probably meet with Amy soon. I can feel my wolf is getting restless. Maybe if things went well, we would be together in bed cuddling right now. We could be naked and bathing in each other's warmth. Oh, god! I can't take this anymore.

I get out of the house and transform into my wolf. I race through the woods until I reach Amy's apartment. Being the middle of the night, I don't have to worry about people freaking out seeing a wolf walking on the streets. I stand in front of the apartment block staring at Amy's apartment. I can tell where Amy's bedroom window is. The lights are off. Ofcourse everyone is asleep right now except some love-drunk-fool who is stalking a girl in the middle of the night.

I am more peaceful than I was two hours ago. I want to transform and go to knock on her door. She'll probably get scared, not forgetting the fact that I will be naked when I transform. Clothes are the least of my problems right now.

I stand in front of the building for as long as I don't know. My wolf legs hurt so I sit, and doze. When the darkness starts clearing, I stand up. I realize people have started walking on the streets. Cars and cyclists have begun moving in the road. I decide to go back home and have some proper sleep.

Luckily, everyone is still asleep when I get home. I get into bed and surprisingly manage to sleep. I get up when it the sun is beaming brightly through my window. I probably overslept. I try sitting up but my body hurts and my head is pounding like hell. I think it is because of the sleepless night. I never want to go through that again.

"Hey, dude. You look terrible," Jose croaks from the kitchen.

"Do I?" I say in the most emotionless of voices.

"What happened to you? Did you get any sleep last night? Why are you up so late?" he bubbles.

"Spare me the shitty interrogation. What time is it?" I I inquire. I pour myself some water and rummage through the kitchen for some pain killers.

"It is almost one. You don't look drunk. You don't reek alcohol. Did everything go well with Amy?" he persists. Is it that obvious?

"Everything went great?" I lie.

"Doesn't seem like it," he says.

"Fuck off," I wave him off.

"You know that I won't leave you alone. If you are having any problems with your mate...I mean Amy, it is normal," he says.

"I don't want to have this conversation right now," I tell him.

"I know that but I am still talking," he says.

"Okay," I say with a resigned sigh.

"Thought so," he smirks.

"Last night was going great for me and Amy. I took her to her place and she invited me in. She was very happy which made me feel excited. We kissed in her kitchen," I say and swallow water uncomfortably.

"You kissed her?" Jose wonders with a smug grin.

"Yes, Jose. Now will you let me continue?"

"Sure thing. Don't let my happiness stop your confession," he continues grinning idiotically.

"Everything was going great until my wolf snapped. He lost control. He wanted to come out and mark her," I trail off. "I will spare you the details but I had to stop. To leave. Amy doesn't know what I really am. I was so scared she would freak out so I left without explaining. She was confused and hurt. I could see it in her eyes."

"So you spent the whole night crying?" he asks with a raised eyebrow.

"No. Hell no," I am quick to defend myself.

"Then what happened?" he inquires.

"I couldn't leave her. I spent hours on the door of her apartment. When I went to bed, I couldn't sleep either. I spent the rest of the night in front of her apartment block. I just went to bed in the morning," the heart to heart conversation is making me feel every kind of weird.

"You have really had a hard time, dude," he says.

"Is that all you've got?" I ask.

"No, I am still coming. You should know that once you've found your mate, you will need to be near her in any way possible. That is why you spent the whole night at her doorstep. You should not feel so bad about it. Your wolf can be very demanding especially when you are sexually excited. He might want to take part once in a while," he says. I fight the urge to roll my eyes.

"Is this how it is with every wolf?" I inquire.

"Mostly yes, but your case is different. Your mate is human. Things will have to be a bit different," he replies.

"I only wish Amy knew everything. Things would be different, you know. What if she rejects me when she realizes that I am a werewolf?"

"If she truly loves you, then she will adjust her preferences and add 'hot werewolf'," he smiles at me and I don't smile back. I just gallop some water.

"Why would she do that? She probably doesn't want to see me right now," I mutter while removing the wrap on the water bottle.

"Is that what she told you?" he inquires. I just glare at him.

"No," he answers himself. "So don't think you know how she feels. Just get your shit together and meet up with her. You probably won't last long without seeing her anyway. Maybe you can ask her out for a date or something simple."

"Alright. Maybe you are right. I'm going to have a shower," I say as I walk out of the kitchen.

"You are welcome," Jose screams from behind me. I just continue to the bathroom, completely ignoring him. The crazy talk with Jose has helped a bit. I am now feeling lighter. I wish I had Amy's number. It would be easier to text her and ask her out instead of showing up at her apartment and getting rejected. I make a mental note to get her number before the end of today.