At My Door

Two days later, I was helping my mother clean the house when there was a knock on the door. Once again I was at my worst, I mean I was cleaning the house. I didn't even want to go answer it but my mama was on the floor cleaning the refrigerator and I was cleaning the windows. I was closer. We weren't expecting anyone, so I was a little peeved.

So I walked to the door and without saying anything I peeped out the curtain. My heart sped up as I saw Christian's profile. It was him, thank goodness his back was now to the door, but he didn't seem to be going away. No he was standing there waiting. I hurried up and put the curtain back and leaned against the door breathing hard, wondering what to do.

"Annette, who was at the door?" Called my mama. Now I was between a rock and a hard place. I had no idea how my mama would react to a guy knocking on my door. In case I didn't mention it yet, my mama is a little off the chain. She say what she feel, and she mean what she says. She isn't afraid to get the gun from the shelf and shoot at a nigga. At the same time he knocked again, and I wished I could be anywhere but there at that moment.

Mama came into the living room, saw the look on my face and asked in a whisper, "who is it?"

I had to tell her right? I mean she was going to go to the door anyway and he was gone ask for me, and she would know, right? "Okay," I said, "it's a guy."

"What guy, Anna. What do you mean some guy? Is he messing with you?" She asked, I could tell she was getting worried.

I could tell she was getting into get the gun mode, so I took a deep breath and just let it out. "No mama, nobody is messing with me. I met him the other day and I took his number. I wasn't going to call him though. I don't know how he even know where I live but he's out there and I am looking a hot mess. I can't answer the door. Could you please tell him I'm doing chores and can't come out?"

Then the damnedest thing happened, my mama smiled. Not one of those it's going to be okay, I got this smiles. One of those smiles the Grinch gave when he thought he had fucked up Christmas. Suddenly I knew it was not a good idea to send my mama out there.

"Mama please, be nice." I begged

"Ain't I always?" She said and answered the door. She stepped out into hall and closed the door behind her.

I ran to my room, laid on my bed and bit the hell out of my nails. Ten minutes later and I think I was having a panic attack. What was taking her so long? All she had to do was tell him that I was busy. What could they be talking about? This was some bullshit. I knew I wouldn't be seeing him again. Not once my crazy mama got through with him, she had probably threatened him up and down. The boy was probably scared to death. Then I thought, what I was tripping for anyway, his teeth were such a turn off. Did I even want to see him again? And how did he find out which door was mine? There were three other doors here, I know he saw me come in this building but it was a four family building. On one hand it was kind of cute that he had found me, but it was also kind of creepy. He could have the real makings of a bug a boo.

Mama came back in finally and came over to my bed. She sat down and I couldn't look in her face, so I didn't know if she was okay or mad. Then she said, "He seems like a really nice young man Anna. Why didn't you call him?"

It fucked me all the way up. Nice young man. Call him? For real? "Well I was going to but I been busy with school work and babysitting."

"Well he asked permission to take you out some time and I told him yeah." she took my hand and lifted up my face. "I been working so much, and you really are a big help to me baby girl, but you growing up. You're sixteen now. I realize you're going to want to start getting out and doing things. So if you ever want to and I have to work or do something I'm sure Carrie won't mind watching your brothers for me. You have to get out and have fun to, before it's too late."

Then she stood up. "I did make it clear to him though that you belong to me." she said hardening her voice. "You belong to me and so does every part of your body. I told him that those are my titties and my pussy and that I don't want to be touched. I told him that if he touched my body I would have to break his hands." then she smiled, "now let's finish cleaning up."

Then she walked away. I just sat there for a minute. Was she serious? Had she just given her blessing to me actually having a real boyfriend who lived right down the street? And had she really threatened him, if he touched me? It was all just too weird, so I went back to washing windows and put it out of my mind. He probably wouldn't be back anyway

*****

Boy was I wrong. Later that day while my brother and his friends sat on the porch he came back. I was sitting on the couch looking out the window, when he walked right up to my brother and asked him if I was home. Of course my brother told him I was asleep, but he would let me know he came by. Really Christian was persistent. I couldn't help smiling, he really seemed to like me. Maybe I would give him a chance, first thing tomorrow I would do my hair and I would go knock on his door.

Well the next day didn't go exactly as planned. I woke up took a shower, put on my white v neck shirt and my lime green skort. I started perming my hair and then my brother's friends started playing. Taking my shampoo, and conditioner, running outside with it. So of course even with my head on fire, I chased them down and got my stuff back. When I looked down the street he was there, on his porch. I froze and he waved at me. I started to wave back but remembered my hair and ducked into the building.

Once I washed it out and styled it I put on my white flip flops and headed out the door. My homies met me at the gate. "Where you going? We was about to hit the block," they asked?

I looked down the street and saw him standing on the porch, not looking at me now. "Naw yawl, I got other plans today. I'm a holla at yawl later."

"Cool" they said giving me a skeptical look and headed to the store.

I stepped off the porch and started off down the street. As I approached him he waved and started walking towards his door. "Wait" I said. "Where you going?"

"In the crib," he said with a frown. "I know you wasn't coming to talk to me. You been dodging me for like two days."

"I haven't been dodging you." I lied with my most charming smile. "I just been busy."

He leaned against the building and twisted up his lips, "So you was too busy to open the door that day I came to your house, but not too busy to get your mama to do it? Or you was really way to sleepy to come downstairs that day your brother told me you was sleep. I ain't into games Anna. I saw you look out the curtain that when I came to your door and I saw you looking out the window yesterday. Then today I said hi and you ran inside. If you didn't want to talk to me you could have just said so. This your hood I'm just here for the summer, don't hide out on my account."

It isn't much that really bothers me but when I get mad. I get mad. Damn it, he was pissing me off. Here I was trying to make amends and he was going off, he wasn't even my boyfriend yet. Now that I think about it I should have took that as U-turn signal, but I didn't. I shook off the anger and calmly explained.

"It wasn't like that, I just didn't want you to see me all messy. I been having kind of a bad hair week and you surprised me when you showed up at my house. I've never had a boy over before and I kind of panicked." I bit my lip and started getting mad all over again. Why was I explaining to him, he wasn't anybody special? "And the other night I just didn't feel like being bothered and I told my brother I wasn't taking no calls and I was sleep. How did you know where I lived at anyway?"

"I peeped you out a long time ago, lil mama." he said sitting down. He looked relaxed now. "I just had to play my position, I don't know nobody here. Couldn't ask if you had a dude, or not. So I just watched and when I saw a chance to make a move I did."

"So you been watching me?" I said smiling.

"Kind of, what you smiling for?" He asked also smiling.

"I think that's kind of sweet."

He frowned again, and he got even finer. "Don't let that get out lil mama. I'm known for many thangs and being sweet isn't one of them."

"Why boys always got a problem with somebody calling them sweet? That's crazy, ain't nothing wrong with being sweet." I argued.

"Yeah that's what yawl girls think," He smiled again, "but it's bad for my reputation."

"Boy stop!" I said pushing on his shoulder, "don't be trying to use big words on me."

"I'm a Crip," he told me, "straight sixty from the south side. In my hood, I'm that nigga and before this summer is over I'm going to take over your hood to."

"Yeah," I said rolling my eyes. "I just bet you are, all by yourself."

"What can I say?" he asked, "I'm a likeable guy."

"You like me?" I asked coming closer, all in his face. I guess this is what flirting looked like, I thought.

"Yeah I like you, "he smiled, "and gals don't be getting all up in a man's face unless she wants a kiss or something."

I hurried up and pulled back, "boy quit, I don't go around just kissing anybody."

"Whatever," he said, "I'll bet everything I got on that you ain't never been kissed. Not for real anyway."

"Yes I have," I told him standing up. "I'll have to show you one day. When I'm feeling more like kissing."

"Oh yeah," he said standing to.

"Yeah." I said trying to sound confident. Truthfully I had never been kissed, but if the time came I was going in like I knew exactly what I was doing. He was older by one year, he was seventeen, I'm sure he done kissed enough girls to know how to kiss properly. I had to admit I was a little scared, it could be awkward as hell, I was five nothing and he was at least six two or three. He would have to stoop down to kiss me.

"Yeah," I said again, "but I got to go. I'll see you around." I didn't really have anywhere to go but oh baby boy was making a sister a little hot, best put some distance between us. Before I walked away I gave him my number and told him he could call me. Even with the jacked up mouth piece I decided I could do him, he would not be embarrassing to go out with. He was cute, he was hood, and he had an okay from my mama. It's not like I was planning on giving him my cookies and cream.

The next few days breezed on by and although I didn't see him much. Me and Christian talked on the phone every night until we were tired and some nights I even got to hear him snoring. It was cute at least that's what my mama always said when she woke me up to put the phone back on the hook. We even played one, two, three hang up, which lasted for quite a while before one of us finally did.

When I did see him it was amazing how my heart would skip a beat and my legs always got stiff like they couldn't take my weight. And him, it was so cute how he got to stuttering when I asked him anything or got to close to him. I didn't know what was happening to me, but I liked it.

Today like most days Ciara was my alarm clock telling me we needed to go do something. Or how it was just too nice outside to be sitting inside today. I didn't tell her that I had plans today to go chill with Christian, that wasn't until later anyway. I just brushed out my hair and put on my yellow jersey shorts and my yellow tank top. Grabbed my K-Swiss no socks and put some earrings in my ears and I was ready to go.

"So, you really liking dude, huh," Ciara asked?

"Yeah he cool," I told her. My mama always said never tell no other chick how good your man was to you. Cause bitches always want what they can't have even if they don't really want it. They'll try to get it just fuck up what you had. Maybe Ciara wasn't like that, but it was a code I was determined to live by. So I wasn't giving too much away, I didn't really trust nobody and she was no exception.

"Come on everybody been talking about how they been seeing you and him all google eyed and everything. It's cute I'm happy for you."

I humped "It's always cute in the beginning, Ciara. I still don't really know dude. We been talking but I don't know if he's boyfriend material, that remains to be seen."

I only said this because I knew it would shut her up. But it was far from over, once I hit the block I realized everyone was talking about me and Christian. How did they even know him? I was getting frustrated so I played a couple hands of card and shook the scene they was just teasing way too much.

As soon as we were off the block I could see three girls I've never seen walking towards us. I looked at Ciara and saw her tense up, so I knew we were in for some drama. They was talking loud and we were silent as I seized them up. One girl was big, tall and fat. The next chick was average size and the one talking loudest was petite. It was the average one who got my attention though. She was sending dirty looks our way and when they passed us she got to whispering to the big girl.

All I could think was she really didn't want it. Three against two wasn't bad. I had been up against worst odds, but in the back of my mind I knew Ciara wasn't a down chick. She could talk a big game but she couldn't back it up. After they were about a yard behind us the average chick stopped, and I knew it was on.

"Ciara if anything happen you better not leave me." I said meaning every word I said, I would kick her ass all over the dark if she left me hanging like she did last time we fought some people. Last time she said she thought I was running to. I had to let her know that I ran from nobody. This time I was letting her know in advance that there would be no running. I didn't want any confusion.

"Hey you," the average chick said, "in the pink," talking to Ciara. "You got something you want to say to me."

I wondered if that was really the best she could come up with. It was a weak start. "Naw," Ciara said with her usual attitude. I was just glad she didn't back down.

Yeah they was on one, but they better believe I am not one to back down even when the odds were against me. Mama always told me even if you get beat up at least you stood your ground. Where I grew up that was always the better option. Being known for being a punk was never good.

"Hey you in the yellow, did you say something?" The girl asked me.

They really wanted it, didn't they? Predictable ass chicks. I looked at her and deliberately let at least thirty seconds go by. I smiled and sucked my teeth. "Naw I didn't say shit," and then I kept walking.

Almost to my street I heard as well as felt someone running up on me from behind. I turned around just in time to side step the petite chick. She ran face first into the brick wall beside me. I laughed loudly even though my blood was now racing. Who in the hell did she think she was to be trying to run up on me from behind. Like I wouldn't hear her big foot ass. I took a step back and kicked her in the face as hard as I could.

"Stupid bitch," I said kicking her in the ribs, "That's what yo wacky ass get for running up on me like that. Handle her ass Ciara." I turned to the other girls who were walking up like they were tough.

"I don't even know yawl, but I know yawl ain't from around here. If you knew better, you'd do better. What yawl on?" I asked, I was pissed, I didn't even have beef with them.

The big girl took a step back and threw her hands in the air in surrender, "I am not fighting, and I'm pregnant."

Even better I thought, two on two. I turned to the average chick, she was snarling at me. The big girl was keeping her distance but I didn't put it past her to run up to, for all I know she could be lying about being pregnant to throw me off.

"That's my sister you just kicked in the face." Petite said.

"That's what she get. Running up on me like that." I hissed.

She growled and charged me I bent over forward and she flipped over my back and landed on the ground some feet away. Even I was surprised.

"Owwww, "she yelled, "My ankle, I twisted my ankle."

Another on bites the dust, I thought laughing. Right as I was turning around to see how Ciara was doing I saw her hitting the corner at a run. What the hell, she was leaving me again? Seriously? In my distracted state I didn't see lil petite running up, but I felt the kick she got off to my stomach. The pain was dazing, I staggered back until I was at the curb where I sat down. Damn that hurt and when I get up I'm going to kick her ass for show.

"Yeah bitch, what you going to do now?" She said, dancing around.

"When I get up I'm going to kick your ass," I said clutching my stomach, "And you better not run up on me again, let me get up and then it's just you and me."

That's when I really knew she wasn't real. She actually let be build up my strength, she was goosing. I jumped up and we both booted up but once again she charged at me and put down my guards to clothes line her and, she hit the ground once again. But this time I let her just barely get up before I hit her in the chin with a two piece. She staggered back and before she saw it coming I hit her with another one. Just because I was having fun now, I pulled her shirt over her head and swung her around, then slammed her right next to the one with the twisted ankle. She was out of there, laying there motionless.

I looked at the pregnant girl and said, "Get these clowns off my block and the next time yawl want to start some shit know who you fucking with." With that being said, I walked away.

I smiled when I heard the big girl say, " How am I supposed to carry you bitches, that's what yawl get always fucking with people....."

When I got to my street Christian was on his porch he looked like he was going to say something to me but I guess the look on my face told him to back off. I was now on a mission to kick the shit out of Ciara. Again and again I cursed myself for even hanging out with her I knew she was a punk. What if they had hurt me, jumped me, I could have been laid out in the street up there and she didn't even care.

When I reached my stoop, out came my mama with the gun ready, then Ciara's mama, then Ciara and my Cousin Connie. I only had eyes for Ciara I walked right up to her and grabbed her in her collar.

"You left me," I said through my teeth.

"I couldn't.....We needed help.....I was too many of them."

"Girl Stop," I said letting go of her collar. I wanted to smack the hell out of her, but she was family and I knew better. "It was three of them."

"I'm sorry, Anna," she said crying.I pushed her away and stomped up the steps to my room.

I laid on my bed, I was so mad I was shaking badly and I wanted to hit something. I couldn't believe how much I wanted to hurt Ciara. I closed my eyes against my angry tears.

"You okay Anna." Mama asked from the doorway.

"Yes mama," I said even though I really didn't want to talk.

"Are you hurt?" She asked.

"No mama, I'm good for real. I'm just mad that she left me, I'm madder about that than the fight."

"Well calm down and just be glad that you aren't hurt. I love you and Ciara was really just scared, she isn't a fighter Anna. Not like you, so don't be mad at her okay."

"Okay mama." I told her what she wanted to hear. Whatever, the next time we got in some trouble I was going to leave her hanging, let her know what she won.