To Lie to Yourself (3/3)

"I got hit by my father."

"You got hit by your fa—" Gu Xiao repeated before raising his brows, slightly gaping at his words.

This was not what he had expected, that all he could do was nod slowly and let out a quiet, "Oh."

At once, multiple notifications sprung from Gu Xiao's phone, which he didn't bother looking at since it was probably from his games informing him that his energy was currently maxed out. But after four vibrations, his ringtone sounded.

"I think you should pick that up," Lan Yuning said, scratching the side of his neck.

Gu Xiao grabbed his phone out of his pocket, but the moment he saw that name, his eyes narrowed.

Upon noticing that Gu Xiao was just staring at his phone, Lan Yuning slightly glanced over to see why he wasn't moving. When Lan Yuning saw that ID, his heart dropped.

[HE RONG]

Lan Yuning's heart swelled without warning, and his fingers tensed. That one person who used him and forced himself to have the utmost distrust in anyone. He was calling Gu Xiao?

He Rong was that one person who once deceived him while embracing him with such warmth, only to discover it was all an artificial mockery and leave him to suffer this judgement alone. He was that boy in that photograph that his father raged over.

Gu Xiao declined the call, but the messages wouldn't stop popping up at irregular intervals.

Puzzlement swallowed Gu Xiao's eyes before putting his phone on silent and slipping it back into his pocket.

"It's alright, I don't need to answer it," Gu Xiao said.

Lan Yuning's breathing slightly paused.

A slight curiosity regarding their relationship raised in his head, and he wondered if they were close friends or if Gu Xiao was doing the same thing He Rong did to him. Because of his stubborn denial, he didn't want to believe that the two were the same.

"Student President."

But knowing that He Rong and Gu Xiao were contacting each other regularly disturbed Lan Yuning. Perhaps it was his immaturity stirring in.

Lan Yuning was a fool who was easily blinded by the cunning words of anyone nice to him. He used to also enjoy being around He Rong, but what did that do? Only to have him realise how much time he wasted just to have him tossed and thrown around like a naïve fool.

"Student President."

Lan Yuning wanted to ask Gu Xiao, but he was afraid of what he would respond with.

Would Gu Xiao reveal everything to him, like what he would do with others?

Would he hide everything and lie?

Even now, Lan Yuning didn't know why he told Gu Xiao that he got hit by his father. Why he told him. Why he chose to follow him everywhere. Why he stayed. Why he didn't find him to be a nuisance despite acting like he was. Was he going to get pulled in once again and fall into the same trap?

"Student President."

Lan Yuning brought his senses back to where they were and whipped his head around to Gu Xiao, forcing the scared boy to lean back.

"Are you alright? You look... a bit pale."

"I should leave now. It's getting late," Lan Yuning said and stood up.

"Oh, alright. Bye."

His heart still ached, but the distance between him and Gu Xiao tore further and further, like a broken plate that couldn't be pieced together.

The night grew colder, and even though the lamps were dim, it appeared the further he walked away from Gu Xiao, the more the streets became pitch black as the bitter night.

Suddenly, Gu Xiao called, "Student President!"

Lan Yuning turned around, and Gu Xiao threw the drink to him. Startled, his hands stumbled before gripping onto the drink firmly.

"It's supposed to be for my sister, but you can have it! Drinking one isn't enough, anyway."

Lan Yuning darted his gaze between the strawberry milk and the grinning face. Although it was dark, a light seemed to follow and shine around him. He was always somewhere out of reach.

"Goodnight!"

...

Lan Yuning's father was in his study, but he didn't bother seeing his son, even knowing he had come home.

Slumping his body onto his bed, Lan Yuning held the drink up at certain angles against the light.

With one slight turn of the bottle, he noticed the small paper sticking out of the label and picked it out. Just by looking at the red corner of the paper, he knew Gu Xiao had ripped it from the math textbook.

When he flipped it around, some nonsensical lines, or what were supposed to be characters, spread in a diagonal position. Surprisingly, he could still make out the sentence.

'May my handsome face bless you in your dreams' with a smiling face drawn next to it.

He stared at the note apathetically and wasn't surprised. Yet, a gradual smile formed across his lips, and he slipped the letter away in his pencil case.

Little by little, that smile ceased to remain on his face. He Rong and Gu Xiao knew each other. At first, he thought maybe it wasn't the same He Rong he knew, but both He Rong and Gu Xiao were from Shanghai. His surname was 'He' as well.

A sudden memory of He Rong resurfaced—the one that made his father so heated. What followed after that recollection was the frustration of his father and what he received from He Rong.

The same restraint returned to Lan Yuning's eyes, and he sighed from his heart. It was like his lungs always attempted to breathe with a rope constricting them from moving.

Behind that restraint laid underlying hints of fear, as though he was hammering the words of others into his head.

It was best if he didn't get involved with Gu Xiao, so no one would get hurt. He kept telling himself that it was for the best. He kept on hammering it into his head. He tried and tried and tried. But deep down, it still hurt him.

...

After showering, he crawled into his bed and checked his phone. He saw a notification from Lan Yuning and opened his message.

Lan Yuning:

- [Thank you.] 23:04

The words Lan Yuning said to him still echoed in his head: 'I think you did a good job.' It was strange.

He couldn't understand why someone like him would ever deserve such praise, and these words only raised a web of tangling emotions that emerged from his memory.

Those words simply evaporated into thin air the moment his ears received that phrase, since it was too absurd for reality.

Was it this underlying fear that continued crawling up towards him? No, it wasn't fear. He felt conflicted.

Gu Xiao typed 'no worries' in the message box, but found it too short and heartless. Quickly, he erased the message and typed, 'Are you alright?'

Immediately, he rolled from side to side and muttered, "That sounds so cheesy. Quickly delete. Quickly delete. Maybe 'you can talk to me anytime.' No. That still sounds cheesy."

Just as he was in the middle of deleting the message, his phone fell on his face and his fingers spread all over the screen before grabbing it back.

He let out an "ow" and rubbed his nose, but his heart dropped when he saw the message. A bunch of emoticons mixed with his message.

Lan Yuning:

- [Thank you.] 23:04

Gu Xiao:

- [You can {DIE DIE DIE} ] 23:06

"AH—!"

"Shut up!" Gu Heiyu yelled and kicked the wall.

Without wasting time, he instantly recalled the message, shut his phone, and threw it to the other side of his bed. In the end, he forgot to send anything at all.

"Sleep heals everything."