Eighteen (1/4)

It had been three days into the new week. Gu Xiao hadn't gone to school.

He was too busy packing and cleaning the house. They were going to move today.

Someone had already set their eyes on their house, so the new tenants would prepare to move in right after they left.

The moment this new family moved in, everything would disappear and only remain in their memories.

In this small house where everything was shared between these blood-related strangers, was going to simply become a fleeting memory. But this small memory would be ingrained forever in the depth of their hearts, never leaving their soul.

Sitting in their empty house for the last time, both Gu Xiao and Gu Heiyu stayed in their rooms, sorting everything out.

From old books to photos to their school uniform.

It was disheartening that the school photos they took this year had not been printed yet, so Gu Xiao only had the ones from their first year.

Looking at it, he searched for Lan Yuning. The moment he saw that same face, a chuckle escaped his lips.

"His face really doesn't change."

He looked at the packed boxes. There were only two boxes since he never had that many things, and most of them were textbooks. He grabbed one of the textbooks out.

The doodles of Lan Yuning, random highlighting, and sticky notes which he wrote messages to Lan Yuning that used to always be ignored.

These books had been with him for less than a year, yet the edges were all fluffed and the pages contained many creases.

He didn't even need these textbooks anymore, but he still kept them.

While flicking through his math book, he noticed an unusual drawing on one of the pages.

He knew it wasn't him, since his drawings didn't look this good.

The art style definitely looked like his favourite web comic artist, but why was it there?

It was a miniature doodle of someone's face. Upon closer inspection, it was only after a few seconds he realised Lan Yuning drew it.

He knew because this violet colour pen was a colour he always used to write notes.

It was this distinct colour that he only used in their class since the others always used red or blue.

His eyes widened, and he mumbled, "You were... that artist?"

He caressed the small drawing, and a sense of bitterness filled that emptiness in his heart.

In a week and a half, they would have graduated, and his wish of wanting to graduate with him or even take a photo with him in their graduation robes would no longer come true.

After graduation, their entrance exams would arrive, and he would no longer be sitting in the same hall as them.

He even wished Lan Yuning would smack his knee randomly again.

Anything.

Anything would have been fine.

As long as he could see him again. As long as he could see that flustered expression every time he teased him.

He brought the paper up to his lips and held it in his arms.

"I will work hard, and I hope that it will reach you."

Looking at the chipped table, the figurines he and Zhang Yongyin collected, the bed that he was so attached to during those times of weakness.

Only then did he notice that the procedure to transfer high schools, or countries, was extremely troublesome and tiring.

He was tired.

He was so tired. Even though he was so tired of it all, there was something sparking in his chest.

Yet, despite this lethargy, he was also glad that their father had found his own happiness and that the distance between them was closing little by little.

He was happy.

This was what he longed for. He longed for their father to find himself again.

After that night, he never saw or been in contact with Lan Yuning again. Instead, he did a lot of thinking.

It was foolish for Lan Yuning to reciprocate his feelings because Gu Xiao didn't deserve him yet.

It wasn't the right time. There was something he must do before he could face Lan Yuning, or anyone, in fact.

Gu Xiao pulled his phone out. This was his last chance.

...

In B High School, the first bell rang, and all students gathered at their desks.

Lan Yuning sat in his seat, staring at his empty papers. The seat beside him was empty once again.

He needed to get used to it. He kept telling himself to get used to this quietness, but he couldn't.

There were many things he couldn't do anymore. He couldn't grant Gu Xiao's wish of wanting to take a photo at graduation together.

He wasn't good with things like this. He wasn't good at handling these strange emotions after living such a mundane life.

That boy was going to leave so suddenly that he wasn't sure how to process his thoughts.

It didn't even matter if he was sleeping or trying to distract him with those random topics.

He wanted to keep seeing him, even if it was just for a second. He wanted him to keep talking to him.

He wanted him to keep annoying him.

As long as he could still hear his voice, or see his face, then it would be fine, even if it was just for a moment.

Even though Lan Yuning was trying to think of things to dislike about him, he simply couldn't think of anything.

Everything that had once been impoverished had suddenly become so rich the moment that bright boy came to him. Now, those prosperous small moments were empty.

This certain boy had made even sitting in that mundane classroom durable, even though no words would be exchanged between them during the lessons, except for a couple of giggles here and there.

Just sitting beside him was enough.

Just knowing he would come to school was enough.

Just knowing he would annoy him in any way possible was enough.

Just knowing that he liked him...

The award and graduation ceremony and university exams would've passed in less than one month.

Another season would've blossomed once again, and the cycle would continue repeating.

Even though Lan Yuning had experienced all those seasons and days without him before, he was now more selfish that he didn't want to be alone.

Even though Gu Xiao knew how clingy he could be, he was still patient with him—dealing with his bitterness, nagging, and dull personality.

He had dealt with every part of himself that he hated and had loved every part of himself that he hated.

Whenever Lan Yuning took a step away from him, Gu Xiao always managed to close the distance by taking a step forward towards him.

But now, no matter how many steps Lan Yuning walked away from him, or even closer to him, that boy may not ever step closer anymore.

The truth was, after piecing everything together, he knew the person that he met years ago at the beach was Gu Xiao.

That smile. That voice. Those familiar words.

Even offering that same strawberry drink. He figured it was him around the time Mr. Shen rearranged their seats and forced them to sit next to each other, but he had a few speculations before then, too.

Yet, he never said anything because it appeared Gu Xiao didn't recall anything, though he didn't expect him to since his face was forgettable, in his opinion.

Lan Yuning's memory had never once failed him, and he never had a problem with this skill of his. And now, these memories were drowning him.

That night was when he ran away from home, he needed to escape that suffocating house where his father was scolding him, placing these heavy-bearing expectations on him.

Then, he met that peculiar person who offered him tissues and a drink with a smile once again.

On that day, he also broke things off with He Rong before he was manipulated even more.

Even though he knew he was being manipulated, he still struggled to let him go at that time. How stubborn he was.

Looking at his pencil case, there was still a tiny slip of paper inside.

He picked it out, and that familiar messy handwriting and that poorly drawn smiley face evoked an unsettling whirl of emotions to weave through his heart.

It was the note during that night when he left his home, his cheek swollen by his father's hit, and when that boy came to him.

The tenderness of that boy's hand that applied the ointment, the gentleness of the palm that supported his head when he cleaned his nosebleed.

He remembered all of these brief moments so clearly.

Had he departed yet? Was he at the airport already? The back that always ran off ahead had gone somewhere so far. He had drifted somewhere out of reach that the broad back

Lan Yuning always longed to see each time night came would no longer return. It wasn't like he had left the universe, but that was what it felt like.

That he would no longer return.

He attempted to shake off these pessimistic thoughts, but he couldn't.