Trains and love

The classroom was quiet, still, motionless, like being trapped in water, everything was resisted and all the sound was muffled. It's so quiet, compared to the bustling streets and the droning of cars, compared to the blaring traffic and the rows of buildings, the mass of people all shouting all in one synchronised dance that I'm not a part of. All perfectly timed like a hive mind. My desk is so quiet, compared to the others, people huddling around and talking, there is nothing for me but the blood curdling scream of silence. This blue that surrounds me, this pain that ripples through the classroom somehow conceals me from everything else, it's so cold, so painful. Everything hurts here, everything is so quiet. The roads and lanes that I walk by, every day, every second is so soundless. The only noise that breaks through is the whispers, the blaring hushed whisper, all of them around me like knives stabbing into me, piercing my skin.

The clatter of the warning sign flashing red, enticing me in, like a brief repose from the silence. I just want this mute world to stop. To break, for the cold world around me to break. My foot stepped onto the tracks, I could feel the steel beneath me waiting for my noise, the explosive screeching along the tracks approaching and smashing through my hushed world, the lights blaring into my eyes.

Then on my shoulder a firm but gentle hand pulled me back, my body flailing forward as the passengers zipped past.

"You know if you stay there then you'll die."

I looked back to see her, short black hair touching her shoulders gently and curling like her lips, the genuine smile illuminating the bottom of my sea.

Somehow we ended up sitting opposite to each other, the cafe table separating me from that smile.

"Hey, I'm Mori, and you?"

"Psye..."

"That's an unusual name, so why'd you walk in front of a train."

"Why do you care?"

"Well a few years ago i had a friend who jumped off a bridge, id hate to stand back and see the same happen to you."

"I'm sorry."

"About what?"

"I don't know."

"You know they do great coffee here."

"I'm going to go."

"Y'know i've seen those eyes before, i've also seen what they can turn into, you just need to run away, just a suggestion."

"This isn't some movie, I can't just run away."

"I did"

"After your friend died?"

"No a little after"

"Don't you feel bad for leaving."

"Every day, I'm a horrible human being, but I saw my friend drown in that town, so is it so strange to swim?"

"Thanks, mori…"

"I know once you find that person who gives you life again, your eyes will light up, brighter than any star, I saw it before, and I hope I see it in you. Bye Psye, i hope we meet again"

.

.

.

He woke me up by placing a hand on my shoulder, opening my eyes and seeing his face was strange. The gentle features and the dark hair conflict so well.

"We're going to be late."

"Your eyes are so bright." he recalled, his face going bright red.

"You say the weirdest stuff."

"Sorry I was just remembering someone I met a long time ago."

"Well, we should get to school, you're already a step away from being executed by our history teacher,"

"That's only cuz you didnt give me the answer."

"That's because you kept me up all night playing LSO, i needed sleep"

"Fine fine less blabbing, i need to get dressed"

"Ellie made breakfast."

"I said i'm coming"

He left the room with the same solem look on his face, the same lonely stare. The vacant eyes, so bright yet so empty.

I wonder, do my eyes shine yet?

Do I have someone to live for?

Assassin told me his story, his love for that girl, it was so great, it still is. Will I ever have something like that? Do I like him?

He asked me once, would I die with him? Would I? I want to say no, that I wouldn't… that i couldn't but I..I know, if he asked me, if he told me, if he… if he did I would. I know I would. So is that love? Do I love Assassin? Do I love Lee?