25

On our way to his house, I say "When last did you have your eyes on him?"

"Three weeks ago" He says "I had to stop because I suppose they were tailing me, the CEO's men, to see if I'd lead them to where you were or just to see where I was heading. I suppose it would have been catastrophic if they knew him so I decided to go off the whole scene. Sorry Madam"

"It's okay" I reply, looking outsude the window as I see droplets of rain fall on it "You did the right thing. How have you been Zephyr?"

"Bored as hell"

I chuckle at his reply as he adds "He waited, I think"

"Who?"

"Master Kim Geon Woo"

My breath hitches as I sit straight, noticing Zephyr's eyes move from the road infront of him to me "I am not sure but there are times he would sit on his porch, smoking and just looking straight at me. I believe he knows I am here and that I have been watching, and when he realizes you do not come out of the car, he goes in"

Shit.

I use my thumb to rub my temples as I rest my back on the seat, my mind running circles now.

I should be happy that he waited, right?

Elated even.

But the fact he waited, and then did not see Zephyr for sometime must have been something he did not understand.

Especially me abandoning him like that after the whole situation we had talked about.

He must have thought I actually DIDN'T like what we did and moved on.

Shit, shit, shit....

"And his bar?" I say, trying to get my mind on something else "What should I know about it?"

"It's still the same. The fights and the drinking. Master Kim Geon Woo seemed to not go to work for the first one week after you left before he did.... I am not sure if he ever went with any man at the end of his shifts there"

Ah.

I drum my fingers on my temple now, a sudden burning heat going up in my chest as I let out a low gasp, turning away.

Kim Geon Woo....

I fear to see you, but at the same time, the ache to do so is way more unbearable...

When we reach his house, Zephyr parks at the side, and I stare at the watch.

Two minutes to five.

I glance at the house, noticing the darkness and silence from within. He is obviously not back yet so that gives me about five extra hours to wait.

And thankfully, Zephyr is used to this sort of thing.

I sigh, swallowing in as I say "I need to eat"

"What would you like?"

"Ramen" I say "For the drugs I have to take. I need to eat first"

I know he wants to ask what drugs, why ramen, I NEVER liked it before, but because he knows it's none of his business, he says "Excuse me Madam"

When he's gone, I lean to look at myself in the rearview mirror.

My hair is back to it's original colour, plain black, because Hoseok refused to let it be pink while I was there, and then I notice the bruise on my face.

It is shockingly huge, and though it looks red, if you look deeper, you can tell it would be an ugly shade of purple soon, with the indents of his rings on it.

I raise my hand and touch it, a part of me wondering how it would feel if Kim Geon Woo did same, touch me as I do now...

But then I sigh and rest back on my seat.

I expect a punch instead.

Zephyr is back in a matter of minutes, a box in his hand and a bottle of water.

I tell him thank you and take it from him, opening the box as the steam rises up, my nose and stomach uncomfortable with the smell.

'Remember, no meat. Simple foods, like ramen' Oppa had said.

Though I know the doctors must have said something similar to that but I believed that Oppa had added that deliberately.

Still, this was possibly the only thing I could eat without throwing up the food AND my drugs.

I eat slowly, Zephyr acting like he wasn't watching me though I knew he was as I keep eating before I stop midway, letting out a triumphant sigh and take out my drugs from my pocket, quickly gulping it down before I sigh again, resting my back on the seat.

We spend the next hours in silence, me with my eyes closed and him... I don't know what he is doing, obviously before I hear him say "Madam? Can I ask you a question?"

"Of course"

"Are you okay?"

The question has my eyes opening as I tilt my head to look at him "Do I not look okay?"

"No, no, you look okay" He quickly says "You are... Different today"

"I'm like a puppy who has not seen his owner in months" I say "Permit me to behave how I like"

"Of course Madam"

I am about to shut my eyes close again before I hear it.

His car.

He zooms in quickly, packing immediately as I see myself hurriedly opening my car door.

Zephyr is out too, with an umbrella "Madam"

I don't turn to him as I walk into the rain "Go home and don't come for me till tommorow morning"

I do not wait for his reply as I run across to the road to a Kim Geon Woo who is already on his porch, about to open his door "Kim Geon Woo!"

He freezes, his back turned behind me as the rain seems to fall heavier now.

I blink hard, unable to move and meet him, to hug him as I say "Geon Woo, I...."

"Get out"

The words seem to choke in my mouth as nothing comes out, my heart stopping too before it begins to pump again, but heavier...

Faster...

"I can explain, I can...."

"I don't want to hear it"

His voice is calm, collected...

Cold.

So cold that it shames the rain and makes me feel like I am a sandcastle and he is stomping me down to ordinary sand "Please, I beg you...."

He turns this time, his face emotionless but his eyes...

Through the darkness, I can see his green eyes pierce through me as he says "You are the one who came to me. Like the psychotic bastard you are, making me sign a stupid deal and then letting me break my stupid rules for your fucking sake, and then your vanish after I told you how I felt? That is even worse than all the shits Octavio put me through!"

Octavio?

Who is...

"I really can explain" I say "Honestly, if you would just let me...."

"It sucks so much because I know if I hear one word from your mouth, I'd fucking believe you" He says "How was he anyway? Your new toy? Or was it a she? With bastards like you, everything seems fuckable"

"I... I didn't, I said I wouldn't... The contract said I couldn't...."

"Who gives a fuck about that damn paper?" He snaps "Because I don't"

My eyes widen "You can't bridge it"

"But I already have" There is a dark smirk across his face "I don't care how many lawyers you put up my ass. I have friends who can help fix it"

I feel like something is sucking me inside as I hold my chest...

What... What is this?

"Is there someone inside your house that you don't want me to see?" I ask.

He scoffs "Why would I not want you to see them in the first place? But if it makes you feel any better, I don't bring men to my house anymore. I mean, look at the mess I got myself into by bringing you"

Stop...

Stop talking like that...

"What is that on your wrist?"

His voice tone is different now as I look at him, then at my wrist as he yells now "I thought you said you were not in the fucking mafia!"

What?

I look at the tattoo on my hand, a card technically as he rubs his head "Why do I even care? We are done. Everything is finished. This whole shit you're pulling, done. Get out of my front yard and take your hound dog with you. If you don't get out in the next five minutes, I'm calling the police"

With that, he turns away and enters his house, slamming it shut.

I choke now, the food I had eaten threatening to show it's face to me as I fall to the floor, clutching my chest.

It hurts...

God it hurts...

It feels like... Like there is this black hole inside me that's growing wider evertday and keeps sucking me in everytime Kim Geon Woo cuts me off from him.

Like he is the thing keeping it steady, quiet...

But now...

I want to scream but I can't, I just hold unto the floor, my mind racing.

I don't know how long I stayed there, the rain still falling all around me, my head blank before I hear a voice behind me say "Madam, you have been here for two hours..."

"Did you not hear me say you should go home?" I whisper.

He breathes in then out "I will, after I take you home..."

"This IS home for me" I say "What I have back there, is just a house"

"Madam..."

"I know he'd forgive me if I punish myself" I say "I just have to stay longer"

"Madam...."

"Go" I cut in "Please... Just go"

He stays for awhile, then I don't hear him anymore, except the car engine and him driving away.

I sigh, resting my head on the floor.

Forgive me Geon Woo...

Please.

I don't know what I'd do without you.