Survival for the fittest

I have no idea how long I sat there. It may have been ten minutes. An hour. Maybe more? I was numb, unable to truly feel the overwhelming emotions that coursed through me. Nothing made sense anymore and yet all I could see were the soulless eyes of the man who had died because of me.

How a man could be so merciless. So cold and nonchalant at the fact that he had downright murdered one of his pack members. He'd beheld no remorse as he ordered the guards to take away his body. A formal burial would not be an option. He had been a 'criminal'. Disrespectful of the Luna of the pack.

All the time I had spent, perched on the floor, unsure of how to react. It had all cumulated to one realization.

My mate was everything the rumors said he was and so much more. He was the cumulation of despair. The embodiment of absolute ruthlessness. I may not know his entire story. Heck, I didn't really have it in me anymore to figure him out. All I could focus on was self preservation.

I cannot show him my weakness...I cannot expose my vulnerability to this Alpha...Crescent Moon is nothing like my previous pack. Power commanded respect. Power is what I need to survive here.

The thought didn't sit well within me but I had no choice. Not anymore. Not when I slept in the same room with the strongest Alpha in our world who was not only psychopathic but oblivious to his depravity.

He really would have killed Reed if I'd asked him to back at the pack ceremony, huh?

The thought scared me shitless. I may not still be a big fan of Reed Michaels for his betrayal but I did not wish cold blooded murder on anyone, including the boy I loved since childhood...

For a small moment, I so wished to be back at my pack. Back in the arms of the man who was no longer mine. In the solace and safety of my father's presence. I did not want to be here. To be in this mess that had been orchestrated by the man I am meant to love.

"Alexandra?"

The feminine voice calling to me sounded somewhat familiar but her touch was a shock to my disoriented system. Lashing out, I latched onto the arm, twisting it into a dangerous angle before glancing up at the individual who didn't seem at all perturbed by my reaction. Instead, her kind green eyes shone with surprise that morphed into reassurance as she raised her free hand in surrender.

"I'm sorry. I did not mean to scare you. I mean you no harm. I assure you."

She stated, the calmness of her tone as well as her small smile bringing a sense of relaxation to my frazzled nerves. Slowly releasing my hard grip on her arm, I instantly regretted my actions as I realized that I had left bruises on her. She seemed to see my regret, a reassuring smile settling on her lips as she helped me get to my feet.

"Don't worry about this. Its gonna heal in a bit. I'm the one at fault for touching you when you were in such an unsettled mental state."

She stated through a shrug, her nonchalance with the pain and my reaction quite peculiar and rousing my full interest. She certainly wasn't just a random pack member. No, she was more. Way more judging by the way my body reacted to her energy. She felt powerful. Almost borderline lethal.

"Still, I apologize. I should not have been so quick to retaliate. I know better."

I muttered, gauging her reaction to my response which, as expected, earned me a small smile and shrug.

"I believe I should introduce myself. I'm Jade Barnes, the Gamma of the pack. Its really nice to meet you, Alexandra. I have heard so much about you but meeting you in the flesh makes it all the more real."

Jade stated, a bright smile on her lips that I hesitantly returned even as some warriors continued to mill around the house. I didn't want to be insensitive considering the death that had just occurred in this very house only a couple of hours before but the beautiful woman in front of me seemed oblivious to the happenings around her.

"Please, call me Alex. And yeah, its really nice to meet you too."

I responded, careful to mask my true emotions as to how fucking insane all of this was. My blank gaze was not as effective, though, as her gaze shifted from me to the men who were now gathered at the foyer with my mate whose voice floated right to us and sent a violent shiver through my body.

You need to do better, Alex...You can't show him just how much he fucking unsettles you...

"I know he seems like some psychopathic bastard and, to some extent, he is. But he does it all to protect our home. He had to become who he is to make sure we survive this crazy world. You might not see it now but soon enough, you will."

The seriousness in her tone took me aback, noting that her body language that had been calm and relaxed before was now cool and detached. Rigid. Her gaze was still fixated on the hallway leading to the foyer but I did not need to see her facial expression to know the go-happy smile was gone.

Something tells me this woman doesn't easily show her emotions...This, in itself, must be a very unique situation...

Her vague explanation on Dante's character was, however, welcome as it offered the slightest insight into his irrational and rash actions. That's not to say I was going to lower my guard or change my mind. No, he was still a lethal individual I planned to keep at arm's length.

"Anyway, enough of the gloomy stuff. I am here to give you a tour of the pack land. It's important you know the lay of the land as early as possible so that you don't feel constricted."

Jade stated, turning to me with a small smile before gesturing towards the hallway that would lead back upstairs.

"You should probably change first. We might meet some pack members along the way."

She added with a small shrug. It was clear the suggestion was out of necessity and not the fact that she actually cared about fashion. I could easily tell that from her outfit which was more grunge than fashion label particular. It was definitely my kind of look.

Choosing to simply nod, I followed the path through the hallway and to our bedroom. My mate's scent hit me head on, like an aphrodisiac that I craved more than anything. My body reacted automatically to it, instantly longing for him despite his actions. They were conflicting emotions that threatened to split me in half.

Focus on getting ready and getting the hell out of this house. That's really the only thing you can do right now...

My shower and preparation was swift as hell with the motivation that I would be taking some time away from the man who now owned me. Throwing on a white knitted sweater, blue washed jeans and white Tommies, I was more than satisfied with the laid back but equally chic look. It was perfect for my excursion whilst still keeping in line with my own style. I threw my hair into a messy ponytail and settled on mascara and lip gloss for make up.

The finished product was perfect enough for me to launch down the stairs and into the backyard where Jade had asked me to meet her once I was done with getting ready.

My mate's absence was welcome and I immediately thanked the goddess once I realized Jade was leaning against one of the bannisters on her own, the smell of menthol floating over to me as she exhaled a puff of smoke from her cigarette.

"That was quick. You must really want out of this place."

Her chuckle was musical and, for a moment, I felt privileged to have been able to hear it. Again, I was quite sure that she did not show this kind of emotion ever so often. It was a welcome sight and one that had me smile slightly.

"Well, when your mate goes and kills someone in front of you first thing in the morning, you tend to want some time to process."

It was the most words I had spoken to her yet and she seemed to notice this too as she turned to gaze at me. The cool morning breeze was welcome as it chilled my warm cheeks that continued to stubbornly flush under her gaze.

"But you're no stranger to death. What makes this one so different?"

She seemed genuinely perturbed by my statement, her curiosity shining through her gaze as she eagerly waited for my answer. I was not surprised by the fact that she knew of my position back at BloodRose or of the missions I had gone on. As the daughter of a Beta, I had a responsibility to uphold to the pack and to my own family. Being a normal pack member was not an option.

"Its true. I have seen and dished out punishments. I have witnessed my fair share of death in our world but not between pack members. Most especially for a mistake like the one he committed. That was a tad too harsh for me. And very real."

I wasn't sure she would understand me considering her relationship with Dante and the general vibe I got from her. She didn't seem all that torn up from the death of her fellow pack member. None of them really did which meant that this was not the first time something like this has happened.

Yes, we did have disagreements and unruly members back at BloodRose but death as a punishment was usually pretty last resort stuff and way after banishment and imprisonment.

"Yes well, irrational as it may have seemed, Jace had it coming. The asshole was getting on my last nerve too and the complaints were piling up against him. You may think this sounds fucked up but he got the easy way out. Certain transgressions are never forgiven here and death is considered a merciful punishment compared to others. You should start getting used to it, Alex, because I promise you, this will not be the last time."

Jade crushed her cigarette underfoot, the darkness in her eyes relaying what I already knew. I was no longer in BloodRose. This was CrescentMoon and the only way to survive here was to harden up. Her silent message had been received loud and clear.

Don't let your guard down. Ever.

"Alright then. We should probably head out before Dante drops off his virtual call. I can only buy you a few hours to process, though."

"That is more than enough, for now. Thank you."

I really meant it, granting her a small smile that she returned before we ventured towards the pack houses beyond. I had to figure out my next steps and decide before the end of this tour what I want to do. Letting him catch me off guard once more was not feasible.

I need to figure out how I am gonna survive here and befriending Jade seems to be a sure step towards gaining a better footing in my new home. I'm gonna need her on my side somewhat.

The calculations flowed effortlessly through me even as I took in the beautiful and expansive pack before me. Like it or not, this was my new home and Dante was my mate. I had no option but to figure out my new life and adapt.

Survival for the fittest rules this place and I am not going to be left behind.

***