Page 8: There Was A Silver Lining

Thursday

After Break.

Sarah.

Dear Diary,

You do not know who I finally spotted after two fu*king weeks. It was Lawrence Lee!!

I found him sneaking through the corridor near my class wearing his usual thick black hood!

Ekkkkk.

Okay, I know, he wasn't all that special or great be squealing over so much. But, admit it, wouldn't even you definately feel that way if you are extremely depraved from looking for a certain extremely rude person who practically fled of from your side the moment you spotted him without a hood?

I mean, Come on. Is checking out his face a crime? It's certainly not. I do not know why he reacted that way.

I just cannot understand him.

Besides, to tell the truth, it wasn't like Lawrence Lee has an ugly face either. He looked pretty cute enough to be mistaken as a girl if you ask me.

With a fair snow white skin, rose red lips and red hair that looks so soft and fluffy like a mythical fairy's on him, I just can't help but wonder why he keeps hiding his face so much.

And, In such a manner I did not know how but I couldn't stop thinking about him all the while he was missing. Even Amelia was starting to notice my strange behaviours.

It was really fortunate I found him today. That must probably be the reason why I practically chased after him like constable on duty the moment I spotted him.

"Um.. Sarah-sshi. I love you. Will go out-"

In the corner of the hallway, I found yet another boy confessing my feelings for me with his two friends in his background. But, I passed him just like that in a hurry.

"No..!" I said panting half way. "I am too busy for that."

I rejected him instantly.

I saw his friends comfort him like it was expected. Luckily he didn't seem to be like the vengeful guy from last time. But, I had no time to worry about all that!

Lawrence!

I must find my stalker-nim fast.

I passed by each classroom still looking when I finally discovered the certain wanted guy sitting on an empty classroom surrounded by many paintings in a painting stand.

Lawrence Lee himself was sitting before one of such painting holding a thin brush and stroking the paper with his front hidden by the large painting pad. He seemed to be too absorbed in his work that he didn't see me yet.

So, I took the oppourtunity to crawl behind him.

Ah, organism spotted.

So is this where you will be at this time of the day? I now know where to find him. But, of course I wouldn't let him no that.

Behind the giant spectacles Lawrence had now worn, a big bland of blue paint stroked from the left. Another splash of black paint stretched from the right and with few more sprinkles of white with glittery yellow a beautiful sight of a starry sky flashed before my eyes.

My eyes widened momentarily when I spotted the artwork. But, then I quickly tiptoed beside the work absorbed guy and blew near his hood covered ears.

"Hoo.. Hello, Stalker-nim.."

Like expected, Lawrence was immediately startled pieces just like that. It might be sadistic to comment, but he looked too entertaining like that.

"Wha!!! Who's- N-N-N-Noona!??? W-What are you d-doing here!!?"

He stammered jumping off a few steps from his chair.

"Hi..!"

I waved my palm and smiled at him with cresent eyes.

Omu. Omu. He is super cute!

"N-Noona.. W-Weren't y-you just i-in class..?"

He asked hesitantly. The sweat still drooled from the corner of his thick hair bangs in his anxiety.

"I knew it." I actually felt quite happy when he said this. "You acted all that big that day and even disappeared for two weeks straight. But, you actually resumed stalking today, right..!"

I asked him excitedly.

Lawrence's face almost immediately changed from milky white to pale blue just like his starry painting and he covered himself with his thick hood.

"I-It was a-an accident!! I p-promise. Old h-habits die hard. That's w-what happened t-today, noona.. I-I .."

Sitting on top of a certain bench behind him on the abandoned class, I looked disinterested in his answer.

Now, that I think about it, it would have been alright even if I didn't hear em. As far as I know Lawrence Lee was the only guy who does not make me feel uncomfortable in any manner. But, if it comes to blundering stuff like this, Lawrence also falls into the catagory of making me feel pretty unpleasant.

And, it was certainly not because Stalker-nim was breaking my personal space like the rest of the guys.

Lawrence was quick enough spot the change of my expressions. Though not really smart enough to understand my ambiguous reasons.

"I-I get that you f-feel uncomfortable n-noona. Y-you probably feel disgusted at m-my presense. I-I am sorry I stalked y-you in a spur of a m-moment. I will be careful enough t-to not d-do it again. B-bye noona. Ha-Have a nice day."

Lawrence spilt these words in haste as though he was reciting an elocution half fleeing again. But, I carelessly grabbed his hood backwards and dragged him to my side.

It has been a while since I have last seen with him and I am not gonna let him get away with it just like that.

"Hey, what are these paintings..? Did you do them..?"

I attempted distracting him.

"Y-Yes. I belong to t-the art club and s-since I feel l-like I cannot finish them b-by the deadline. I-I prefer to spend m-my free time here. Away from p-people.."

He confessed trying to adjust the hood I had almost pulled down. He looked pretty annoyed by me.

"They look pretty beautiful."

I said admiring all the paintings I had took a light glance on before and looked at them more closely.

For a student all of them looked very impressive. And, since I have an eye for art, I couldn't help but admire the variety of strokes with brushes of different density. The mixture of vibrant colors with dull ones. The soundness of the paper at each art reminds me of ...

lWk

The artist of the ghostpainter painting series from xxstagram..

I looked back at him causing the cowering teenager to startle a bit.

"Lawrence, are you also a fan of this person..?"

"U-Ugh.."

Lawrence hesitated a bit again.

"Wow! You like her too? She is totally amazing that I have been one of her first followers! Her styles are unique, refreshing and really nice. We share the same interests. Lawrence! Isn't that cool!?.."

I chirped excitedly when I noticed Lawrence gazing at me with a peculiar expression once again.

"What is it? Now, what are you gonna say? You are surprised that I share similar interests as you..?"

I snorted feeling a bit annoyed. It was quite fascinating when I first heard him. But, now I just feel like those words make us feel too different. Like we belong to different dimension where I am a big princess and he was a lowly slum.

I hate being compared like this.

People always treat me as a queen just because I am beautiful. But, that's not true. Deep inside I am a normal girl and I know how it feels being called as ugly or a nerd in childhood. My old friends all changed when I freshed up a bit and it was only Amelia who remained the same and treated me the same way.

Perhaps it is because, Lawrence Lee is the only guy who treats me normal that I find him refreshing. But, him bringing in this wedge between us though he responding in quite a different way from the other guys..

It was quite frustrating.

"No. I-I meant... I am lWk, n-noona... I-I am t-the ghost painter who has o-over a m-million followers in xxstagram. And .."

Lawrence scratched his head awkwardly.

"lWk is n-not a girl, actually.. M-my style must be m-more feminine than I-I thought...haha.."

He said with an awkward smile making me abruptly stand up from the desk, stunned.

"Deabak.. (Meaning: That's awesome)

"Um.. N-noona..?" Lawrence called.

"Deabak. Deabak. Deabak!! You are the ghost painter..! No freaking way! And, I-.."

I am.. feel embarassed.

Too embarassed. I am actually standing before my greatest idol and I never knew it..!!

Ugh. I feel like killing myself.

"N-Noona.. ? Noona..? W-What are you doing?"

Lawrence, confused by my sudden gestures of not being able to see his face straight, gently touched my palms which I had used for covering my face.

And, that was when he saw it. The sight of the school beauty, the ice queen and the most popularest cheerleader just standing there with a deep red face and trembling irises.

I swear, I have never felt this way before. But, to show this feeling to Lawrence is just.

"Haha.." Melodious sweet voice chirped from Lawrence's lighthearted chuckles. "You are so cute, noona." He said without stammering for the first time in a while. "But, you don't have to feel guilty. I-It's because I never shared this to anyone and prefered to stay on the dark."

He slowly took me by my arm to a certain chair placed beside his seat and tried showing me other paintings of his. I can easily suspect that he did this to make me calm down.

"So, t-this one is 'a twilight' in D-December. This is the portrait of a 'd-dance teacher' from middle school, a f-friend of my mom. A-Ah, and T-This is the f-first painting I have drew on m-my highschool art club at first class and-"

"I-Is there a portrait of me Lawrence..?"

I asked him gently trying my best not to be cringey. 

"W-What..!? Um.."

Lawrence trembled and turned unnaturally silent for a few seconds.

"...."

"No? T-Then will you draw me one too..!"

I asked him with zeal, thinking of some scene from the movie Titanic. (Not in the erotic sense) feeling a bit like how Rose must have probably felt while asking Jack at that time.

"A-Actually.. " Contrary to my feelings, Lawrence uttered a few unexpected words. "I already d-did n-noona.. Do you w-wanna see i-it?"

When, I nodded my face, Lawrence unwrapped the cloth of a certain painting that was laid among the others in a bundle and took it out.

"This is it. The painting I named 'm-my guardian a-angel'." He said bringing the painting towards me with an adorable shy flustered smile.

Lawrence looked both excited and anxious like an awkward bunny that the sight made him look quite cute.

A-An angel..?

I blushed abruptly and looking away.

That's super flirty and cringey of him..

I am often called like that. But, why do I like it if he says it?..

He blew out the dust and placed it on an empty painting stand right before my eyes. It only took a second to stand dumbstruck at the painting's own breathtaking beauty.

"T-This is the painting I-I drew w-when you were h-helping the a-arts club to decorate the stage y-you were gonna c-cheerlead on, for the f-first year's orientation event along w-with your other squads..." Lawrence explained.

"You l-looked quite pretty t-then too, noona. Being s-serious on your w-work and all.

But, for some reason there was also a tint of pain on your face. T-Though you hid t-that perfectly well w-with a smile. Ugh.. S-Sorry. I-I hope I-I am not b-being too indulgent on your a-affairs.."



I... hated that event..

That was the event I messed up so much while dancing on stage since, my friend Blair accused me for stealing her boyfriend in front of all my juniors and classmates right before the big event.

At that time of the day, I was merely helping those art nerds for a moment of distraction from my overwhelming depressing feelings.

But, to think that he had actually captured that moment and painted it.

There really was a silver lining.

My god, I think I feel more happier than Rose from Titanic.

Hearing all this, I bit my lips.

My feelings turned muddled with a mix of my past's bitterness and at touch of a soft warmth being tinted on that pain from my latter memory, dear diary. Lawrence's extremely kind, geniune and senstive words gradually grew on me, replaced the bitterness of those memories and I am very embarrassed to confess it..

But, I cried in front of Lawrence Walker.

Tears, I never knew I was holding escaped my eyes.

There was one person who saw the real depressed me behind my beauty facade. He didn't look at me as an elegant swan floating on the lake with grace and pride. He noticed my stumbling feet that were trying it's best to stay still on the growling waters..

That's what I thought then and I just couldn't stop crying.

"N-Noona!"

Lawrence seemed very surprised by my sudden outburst and took out his kerchief with his trembling arms.

"D-Don't cry..! W-Was it m-me? D-Did I make you cry.. Ah..please don't..-"

He was still saying when suddenly  the steps of another fellow student thomped towards this certain room.

Lawrence looked at me in panic immediately. It was one thing that the two of us belonging to a total different worlds were together on an empty classroom at this point of time. But, to notice that the beauty in the question also possessed tear smudged eyes before a guy who was clearly her creepy stalker was just..

In the gist of a moment as the stranger's pace in footsteps increased, I am not really sure what happened but, Lawrence quickly pulled me by my wrist and pushed me to the underside of the teacher's desk. He quickly followed me soon after that.

"Did you find your purse..?"

"Ah.. Yes! It's here."

"Wow, this place is stuffed with paintings. Do you know who it belongs to?"

"No. But, I think that it's that creepy looking emo kid with baggy black hood and piercings. Don't bother them."

"Hah.. Okay."

Dear Sarah,

Please remember.

Lawrence.. is that creepy looking emo kid with baggy hood and piercings..

He. Is. Just. A. creepy. looking. emo. kid with. baggy. hood. and. piercings who is anything but special,

Sarah!!

I had to struggle so much to calm my mind.

But, with him sitting next to me so close in a closed space with his hood dropped down in the hurry...

I looked at him with dazed eyes. His fair nape with sweat droplets looked mesmerising. His face surprisingly looked more cooler now that I could see him with a serious demeanour. He looks so delicate like he could break. But, he is surprisingly stronger than me. Huh..?

My heart sprinted in anxiety just at the sight.

After the students left, Lawrence hastily came out off the desk with sigh of relief.

"That was close. ..phew.."

He muttered and then looked at me still staring at him speechlessly.

It seemed like it was only then that he noticed that his hood had fallen out. He quickly adjusted it much to my disappointment.

Acknowledging that the usually chatty me around him still hadn't opened up, he apologized for the imaginary reasons he had thought of.

"I-I knew it! I h-had pried too much i-into your personal a-affairs.. A-And, even m-made you c-cry this time..right? I am so s-sorry, noona. I a-am really r-really sorry!"

I tried controlling myself while looking at Lawrence's stupid laments.

"I-I am the r-reason you c-cried. I am a-a really h-horrible person..!"

But, the more seconds he took for explaining himself the more was I losing it.

The cute boy seemed too awkward and confused in knowing how to treat a crying girl earlier. But, I wonder how the hell had he come to that conclusion.

I mean, For starters, he was hesitating so much even to just touch me. For some crazy reason the sight of him trembling like this looked so funny that, though I was crying only a few minutes back I immediately started giggling just at his clumsy sight.

Lawrence clearly had no experience with any girl for that matter and was still too pure for this world!

"Idiot. You are such an idiot, Lawrence. And, of course it's you who made me cry."

"S-See, I..knew it!"

He declared seriously. But, that made me laugh even more.

Being with him was really peaceful. I felt like our moment would just prolong forever when unfortunately the bell rung behind us.

"Ah.. It's t-the bell. It's a-almost time f-for next c-class.."

Lawrence soon parted packing up his things and walked towards the corridor leaving me behind.

"It w-was quite d-dangerous today. Y-You were almost got c-caught being s-seen with me, noona. I-I hope this d-doesn't happen again. Take c-care."

My foolish feelings were vain.

I possibly cannot be with him. He is just a geek and my former stalker who also had me as his stalker due to his ghost paintings in instagram. I should simply ignore him. I probably must.

But..

"Lawrence! Wait!!"

I quickly run behind the retreating young boy with oversized black and grey hoodie and red hair.

"N-N-Noona??"

"C-Compensation..!"

I stared down at the floor, catching the bottom hem of his hoodie.

"...."

"I.. I want a compensation.. for making me cry today, ... soon.. So,.. can I ...continue meeting you..?"

I muttered with flushed cheeks to the confused junior looking away.

I seriously do not know where I was getting.

I practically feel so messed up.

________