Page 32: The Cheery Blossom Festival Date (5)

Before we got to the Ferraris wheel Alex noticed the giant school bag I have been carrying along with him the entire day.

"You know, this bag totally ruins your dress right? You look like a vagabond who had just found a lottery at the garbage."

"Hey! That's quite rude. I am just the kind of a person who cares more about what is in the bag than how it looks like. Don't judge me. Besides, look here, a water bottle, one apple, a pen and a notebook..! Don't I need something to carry them all..?"

I said picking out few things I bought with me.

Alex hit his forehead.

"A cute purse or a handbag would have been suffice..Amelia.. I can finally understand why you are not popular with the guys.."

"Don't you dare!" I glared at him.

"I think, I just did." My best friend smiled cockily.

"Well.. But... That is one of your pluses I guess.."

Alex added shrugging his shoulders and then entered our seats at the ride.

I blushed abruptly.

What does he mean by that? Does he think, it is my plus that I carry such an ugly bag with me or that I am not popular with the other guys..?

Well..

Both are insulting.

But, the same time ....behaving happy because I am not pursued by other guys..?

Alex is very sly.

He shouldn't say such ambiguous words that can be easily misunderstood by a girl who once had a stupid crush on him.

Alex helped me sit on the shaky seat and like expected when we reached the top of the Ferraris wheel, the wheel stopped on mid air.

We were too high under the night sky that, I felt quite safe the couch was pretty big. But, looking down at the beautiful city laid underneath our feets, all my fear dissipated into pure excitement.

"Alex, there! Look at that building is that the Seoul tower!! I can see the Jongmyo Shrine from here! Oh.. Wahhhh! That is the Myeongdong Market isn't it..!?!"

I couldn't help examining every single famous spot of our city that I know from my seat though I have often visited these places with my mom..

"Yes. Yes. It is. I guess coming to the Ferraris wheel was a pretty good idea too.." Alex said nodding his head to himself.

"Why so?" I asked looking back at him. I had been kneeling on the seat and looking at the sight turning my back towards Alex.

"Because you seem to be enjoying so much." Alex said effortlessly.

I cheeks burnt again. Alex seemed to have immediately noticed his subconscious slip out and quickly explained.

"I-I mean.. I'm not sure if you remember but.. We used to do these things many times when we were young. My parents were to busy being business people and never had time to spend for me. It was you.. and o-of course Sarah too..that I got to experience the happiness of a normal life.."

Alex confessed scratching his neck.

I smiled. I do.

Our first meet was just like that too.

On a park, as little lost five year old kid was how I first met him. Then, I ran away from my house angry with my mother that she didn't give me the choco chip cookies she wanted to save later. That was the day I saw little Alex crying underneath a elephant slide for his mother who lost him.

I felt he was my fellow companion who didn't need their moms and made plans on how our future together might me. It's embarassing to think about it now. But, those plans included us, in getting married, having kids, buying three puppies and of course, exploring the world on a world tour together. The world of child's imagination of course is like a universe.

However, it wasn't until evening that our mothers rushed to the park in search of their beloved children and soon found us. I guess, as fellow parents with lost children our mothers had somehow bonded with each other and became good friends like we were.

I... I would have never befriended Alex if I had known how different we were back then..

My face slowly darkened.

"Haha.. Normal life huh..? I guess, life with me is always normal and mundane to your eyes. I cannot be anything else than a normal girl.." I rubbed my arms.

Alex seemed taken back.

"What are you talking about? I love this normal life with you. I cannot imagine such a peaceful and stress free life at my household. It used to be hell when my parents argue and I had press my pillows tight over my ears to get over that noise. But, all those days, do you know how happy I used to be, when I see that charming young kid with a choco specked teeth and choco dipped hands waving at me at the window..? Y-You might not know it.. But, your existence was very special to me, Amelia.."

Alex confessed. But, then he quickly changed his words again.

"T-The existence of you and Sarah I-I mean..!"

Alex really was a good talker. He really makes my trivial clumsy behaviour sound good when he tells it.

And, all this talk about childhood reminds me.

"You said, I might not be popular with the boys since I carry this ugly bag right..?"

Alex looked at me digging my bag when I say this.

"Then what will you say if this same bag is the one which I had packed with a bentos..!" I sang taking out a big lunch box.

Alex abruptly laughed turning the other side.

"Pfft! You cooked..?" Alex snorted. "Are you sure I won't be dead if I take a bite?"

My best friend teased opening the box.

"Ah. You really are a tease. Especially when I cooked it pouring my love and affection at each spoon before giving them to you."

Alex abruptly coughed when I said this.

"L-Love and affection..?!"

"For Derrick Han, of course..!" I declared confidently.

Alex chuckled abruptly. But, It felt quite sarcastic.

"Haha.. Just as I suspected."

Alex took a bite. Though kept complaining and mocking everything I do, his eyes did twinkle with a child like curiousity, that I found it pretty cute.

"What is this..?" Alex asked.

"Umm..? Oh, It's mayo and beef

rice balls..!" I told him.

Alex chewed the rice balls and his lips twisted in seconds.

"I-It..'s sweet.." He uttered.

I was shocked.

"Oh my gosh! I suspected I added suger instead of salt..! This is so embarassing..! This is the first time I cooked and it's already a mess..! I am lucky Derrick didn't eat it."

I rambled constantly.

Alex blinked at me. And, then to my surprise he took one more bite and actually started eating the rice balls.

"W-Wait..! Why are you forcing yourself..! Now give me back that bento..!"

I tried grabbing the box from him. But, he still giggled it away.

"Why..? This the first time you tried cooking. I do not want to miss that.."

He chewed the ball and even dared to forcefully gulp it.

"Besides, it is good in it's own way. If you simply think of this as a sweet dish I mean.."

He laughed looking at my own embarassment.

".. Can't believe it.." I muttered.

"W-What..?" Alex asked.

"..I can't believe there would be a girl who can actually reject you.." I mumbled again.

Alex's eyes widened.

"What do you mean..?"

Only then did I actually realise that I had actually spoken aloud my inner thoughts. I blushed abruptly and said.

"I-I ... I just mean.. I-I can see why you are so popular. I mean, y-you are kind, considerate and truly behave in a way girls like you.. Unlike me, who's dull and boring.."

"I don't think that way though.." Alex shook his head.

I felt surprised.

"If the girl I personally like finds me attractive. That's more than enough for me. I don't really care how popular I am. I mean, that's..obvious right? For instance.. Hypothetically.. I-If ...you were the one I love.."

Alex said with a sly expression.

He had an unbothered face but, there was a slight tint of redness on Alex's cheeks as he got close to me and held my palm before bringing it to his chin, like a knight with chivalry.

"All, I would really wish to do is.. Just.. hold your arm like this.. And say.. I-I love you, Amelia.."

Alex joked with a strange look on his eyes.

I chuckled at the little game he was playing with me. He definately mocking me about the Knight and the princess game we played as kids and asking me to play along with him. So, I did. Playing along on his game that is.

Innocently, without having a single clue about the mess the situation would soon put me into.

"Well, then hypothetically if I was confessed like this by you.. I would say.." I smiled stretching the palm Alex held. "Yes. I love you too, Alex. I've had a crush on you since I was a kid even though we were just best friends.."

I felt something going amiss.

"Just best friends.."

There was something strange about the atmosphere around us.

"Just best friends.."

I bit my lips suddenly noticing the intensity of the Alex gaze towards me. His blue eyes sparkled in anticipation. His face flushed again. It seemed like, he was trying his best not to show his emotions. But, they slipped out of him like a little child. And, I think.. He looked more cuter than usual as he waits for my reply.

"Just best friends.."

Bathump.

Something more..like the feelings I had long forgotten and thought I had already crumbled pounded from my heart.

"Just best friends and I want to stay that way..! It would be too bad, cliche and horrible if we become anything more than that.. So, I-I.. d-don't want to ponder more on this I.."

I didn't know why my words twisted suddenly. But, looking at Alex look at me with that yearning, confused yet absolutely charming face my body panicked as though these feelings were a taboo and I was really fortunate that the Ferraris Wheel ride finally came to an end.

I immediately pulled my arm back in panic.

"I must go."

My back hit the couch's door and I searched for the door knob while still facing Alex awkwardly. 

Bathump.

"But, why? Should I drop you at home..? It isn't really safe for you to go home alone, Amelia." Alex asked.

"No!!"

Bathump. Bathump.

I felt that the seconds I spent with Alex would be more dangerous than that.

The door finally managed to open and I rushed off in my hanbok in hurry.

I felt Alex's stares still looming at me from the distance.

But, I cannot tell him how I was feeling. And, ..

I looked at my face at the puddle of water that was probably left by the recent rain.

'I cannot say that, I had just realised my own feelings and have fallen in love with my own bestfriend who has the history of once abandoning me.. all over again!..'

My face was beet red like a roses on my hanbok.

Dear Diary,

I am really on a real problem. Aren't I..?

__________

Saturday

At the Cherry Blossom festival

Sarah.

Dear diary,

Going out with my sweet Lawrence watching his reactions inside the haunted house was really straight dead hilarious. While Lawrence couldn't help but keep clenching my dress, I on the other hand just couldn't help laughing non stop.

"N-Noona.. Will y-you stop it..? It has already been hours s-since we have g-gone there.. Why d-do you still remember how I e-embarassed myself..?"

Lawrence complained giving me a can of carbonated drinks.

I laughed again. "Well, I haven't heard of a guy's scream that's as higher as a girl..!"

"N-Noona.. I am positive I will suffer from nightmares tonight."

Lawrence had the expression of wanting to bury himself on the ground.

I immediately rubbed Lawrence's head and said affectionately.

"Don't worry. Just like I told you I'll protect you. So, when you ever have any nightmares.. Just say the name of this older sister..and they will be gone in a woosh!"

I hit my fist on my chest.

Lawrence looked at me.

"I-I am not sure I can s-sleep after you come o-on my dream though.. I'd feel too excited then."

He said slyly without even putting the tiniest effort in flirting.

There's it!

His silent sneak attack that almost always shuts me speechless!

Why do I feel Lawrence is becoming a professional at this business recently.

I froze with red cheeks and frowned. Though I wasn't really upset or uncomfortable.

I then noticed the banners of movies plastered on the corners of the Fair and proposed.

"We should go out like this some other time.."

Lawrence stopped immediately.

"I-I am..not sure y-you should keep doing t-this with me, noona.."

"Of course, I am. I am the one asking you this ...and this movie really cool you know. It about a handsome song writer and his budding muse. Liar and his lover.."

I told him of a popular movie that I had once

"It was first released in Japanese. I can't believe they are actually adapting it into Korean soon.

"Oh.." Lawrence hummed.

"Besides, the thing I loved about this movie is because the songwriter reminds me of you, Lawrence! As lWk!"

I said cheerfully.

Lawrence laughed.

"I a-am not someone t-that great, noona.."

I immediately hit Lawrence.

"Don't say that. You never know. As far as I know, you are the most sincere and hardworking artist I know. It is one thing that you are talented. But, it is very rare to see someone both talented and hardworking as you..just like the songwriter from the movie!.. And, besides it is amazing to be another person's muse.. I think, that is very romantic."

"You want to be someone's muse? That's so childish, noona."

"Of course it is." I agreed with him.

"Just imagine.. The guy you like ... Who is also a famous artist ... standing underneath the spotlight for everyone to see, stretching his arm towards his girl, his one and only muse.. and saying the magical words.. 'I-I've made it, Sarah. I've reached the stars for you..' Ahhhhh! That would be so awesomee!!"

I screamed like a girl in love. Thinking about it now I really was a cringe dear diary. I don't even know how Lawrence could possibly put up with the real me. I am just so awkward like that.

But, Lawrence simply chuckled and walked forward.

"You seem q-quite p-practical. But, you also have a cute d-dreamy girl side, noona. I r-really hope you m-meet a guy like that o-one day.."

I stopped on my way suddenly.

"....."

"Noona..?" Lawrence was confused.

"...a-ah.. Nothing..! Haha.."

What is wrong with me..?

I felt kinda upset out in the blue.

Perhaps must it because, I expected Lawrence to say he would be like that for me even if he wasn't really serious?

I guess, I got too used to Lawrence's unintentional flirting about my looks or his love for me that, I never really noticed how Lawrence never flirts about our relationship together or what he wish to do to me personally, like how the other guys usually do to their crushes or girlfriends...as though..he never considered a chance of any possible relationship with each other from the beginning...

The thought suddenly scared me.

But, of course, I also knew, that's because I have never confessed to him.

And, according to me confessing my feelings for him is totally not needed at all.

I mean, Lawrence loves me. And, I love him back. I mean, look at us! With what we already have is it even necessary that the two of us have to do something like that? Isn't it so obvious I like him.

Futhermore, since I am the most prettiest girl in school, it is only logical for Lawrence come clean and directly ask me out to be his girlfriend. It would be too awkward and weird if I were to do that instead of him..

And, so I waited. And waited. Until.. I realised..there was no way Lawrence would actually initiate something like that..even if it comes to an end where I might lose him forever..in a very near future..