ABSOLUTE BEING

I hate this I can't remember why I keep on stopping myself from trying to find out the truth but no one ever tries to help or figure out if something's wrong.They don't like me they believe imma traitor and no one ever trusts a traitor even if there a child well that's what they tell me even when I try to repent and pay my sins they still won't trust me even after a decade they still see me as an enemy.I can't take it anymore I'm tired of it so oh god please help meat least give me time to find my true self and who I am even if I truly am but nothing of a traitor I would love to know.Dear god it had been many days and you haven't responded even after I went down on my knees being you to hear me but you never responded.I have stayed on these knees for two days with no food nor water and you have yet to hear my calls I believe you are only just to busy with other righteous deeds so I will humbly wait for your call.I have taken small breaks to go to the bathroom and then get as much food an water to stay for at least a week and a quarter of four days.I have been hoping to hear your call so I devoted myself to you and only you because you are my savior.The amount of food and water has shrink to a third of what I had at the start yet I am unable to hear your call I hope that you will hear my prayer soon.I passed out to wake up in a bed with two of the villagers waiting it seems I wold of died since I was there for about for about two weeks and five days I would have died.It…it seems that GOD had not answered my cal and HAD LEFT ME OBLN THE VERGE OF DEATH WHAT THE FUCK MAN I BELIEVED IN YOU I HAD TRUSTED YOU I…I though I did everything I could to show my devotion yet I was treated like this.I could have died and you knew but did nothing in response.I don't think I can believe you are my supreme perfect and all mighty God anymore so I wish you farewell you Disgusting Obnoxious Dick and hoot to never hear or see of you again.