The final failure

It is dark outside the house. The full moon outshines the dim stars leaving only the brightest stars to dot across the night sky.

There are a few old crystal lamps that emit a soft warm glow. They illuminate parts of the street while the rest of it is shrouded in shadow.

It is so late that there is no nightlife of adventurers relaxing after returning from the forest. Everyone is sound asleep as Kael and Melinda walk down the streets alone.

After Kael recovered eight years ago, Melinda went to the church and arranged for the Ordained under the Moon to head Kael's awakening ceremonies. This allowed Melinda to accompany Kael to the church at night.

This year is like the previous ones. Melinda escorts Kael on a night walk under the full moon. The only audible sounds are the click-clack of their shoes on the streets. It is a world with just the two of them.

Melinda turns to her left to look at Kael. She can still vividly picture every midnight walk of her and Kael. Her memories of the Kael in the past overlay with the Kael she sees now. She sees the Kael that she still has to look down to see.

His young eyes of the past were filled with determination to succeed. They were defiant against anyone who doubted him and against the idea of mediocrity.

His bright expression on the way contrasted with the brief visage of disappointment he wore each time he left the church. He quickly composed himself, and he built up a positive outlook for next year. However, she was privy to these brief moments of weakness.

Kael's expressions of defiance and disappointment were probably a response to the unresolved issues he had with his birth parents. It was also likely aimed at his peers. Melinda knew Kael didn't have many friends his age.

She never saw him playing with other kids. He never brought over guests. She saw the dislike for her son in the eyes of the other young boys. She suspected they probably bullied him away from prying eyes.

None of the young girls in town befriended him either. She suspected it was either the young boys scaring them off or the fact that she was a madam of a brothel.

Her strength prevented her from public shame. However, there was no denying the negative stigma around her occupation. The parents of the kids in town might have warned their children about hanging out with Kael.

Despite all this going on, Melinda could do nothing to help her son. She could not force others to befriend Kael. Her only grace was Kael's sole friend Emi. Her friendship with Kael is the reason why she helped train Emi.

Later on, Melinda needed to tilt her head up a little to look at Kael's face. The years of failure affected Kael's optimism and built up his resilience. The more passionate expression of his youth was replaced by a face of calmness and serenity.

Others might look at Kael and see him as a calm and mature young man. However, Melinda sees the hardships Kael that pressured him to mature. Hardships that led to the slow death of her young boy. While she is grateful for her son's strength, she isn't happy with what he went through to get there.

Melinda feels a little beaten down from all the hits Kael has taken. She is grateful that she would not have to see his disappointed face today. Kael is finally sixteen, the latest age humans awaken.

She is melancholic that Kael is one step closer to leaving her. However, she also feels a little pride in how strong he's become.

In addition to strengthening his body and skills in the woods, Kael has read every book in the house. They were books on history, cultivation, and the natural world. All of it was preparation for the day he finally awakened.

Kael senses his mother's gaze and turns to look at her with a little worry. "Is something wrong mother? You look a little sad."

"It's nothing. I was just thinking that this would be our last nighttime walk together."

Kael smiles. "We can take more nighttime walks together if you are going to miss it so much."

"And get even less sleep? You do know how early everyone gets up because of you."

The two share a smile as they continue on their way. A few minutes later they finally arrive at the chapel.

The chapel looks just the same as when Kael visited it eight years ago. The only difference is the illuminated stained glass windows. Windows adorned with images of the moon are illuminated instead of ones with images of the sun. The church regularly rotates its aesthetics based on the time of day to indicate the present spiritual leader.

Kael and Melinda walk up to the door of the chapel. Melinda releases Kael's hand and knocks on the right door. Then she steps back with Kael. A woman opens and steps out from behind the right door.

The woman wears a black robe with a silver crescent moon embroidered on the front. A veil completely covers her face except for her mouth. Her age is visible based on the wrinkles on her hands and her long gray hair.

She stands tall despite her age. She holds her hands together in front of her. She wears a kind smile on her face as she regards the two nightly visitors.

"Young Kael and Miss Melinda. How nice to see you two again."

"Hello, Pastoress Annette. It's lovely to see you again too," Melinda replies.

"Thanks for taking care of me again Auntie Annette."

Annette's smile widens before she replies. "Oh Kael, you know I'm a little too old for you to keep calling me Auntie. Though, I do feel several years younger whenever you say that though."

"Big sister Bella tells me you're only as old as you feel."

"Well, I'll keep that in mind then. Anyway, come in, Kael."

Kael lets go of Melinda's hand and says, "Mother, I'll be out in a bit."

"Okay. I'll wait for you right here." Melinda sends Kael off with a small rub on his shoulder.

Melinda feels a little worried for Kael. Relief accompanies her worry as there would be no disappointment for Kael today.

Kael follows Annette into the chapel. The chapel is dimly lit by pale blue crystals mounted on metal stands throughout the building. The two walk up to the same weathered orb atop a stone plinth that Kael saw when he was eight.

They stop before the orb and Annette looks over at Kael. She notices an apprehensive expression on his face.

"It'll be alright, Kael. Even though your awakening took this long, you still have a lot of your path left before you."

"Right. Thanks, Auntie."

"I'm sure you know what to do." Annette pauses before she sadly adds, "I will miss your yearly visits. Not many people attend service at night."

"I'll sit in on some of your sermons in the future. Pastor Brian's are a little dry anyway."

Annette chuckles. "Don't let him hear you say that."

Kael grins before stepping before the large orb. He immediately turns solemn. This orb is a source of disappointment and misery for him. However, all of that would end today. It is finally time for his moment of triumph.

He has no feelings of optimism for what affinity he might awaken. He would be content with whatever the dice roll today. His right hand tightly grasps the top of the orb as he prepares himself for the ritual.

His body tightens a little before he makes contact in preparation for the familiar cold sensation. The defiance that he had in his youth wells up in him. Today, Kael would banish away the terrible coldness that haunts him.

The warmth from Annette's hand on top of his head reassures him. After what feels like an eternity, a warm sensation passes through Kael's head into the rest of his body. Instinctively, Kael tenses his muscles as if to make a difference.

Despite all of Kael's effort, he feels something is off. It is the same. The same cold feeling from the orb. The same dispersion of the warm energy. Kael's face tightens. He questions his senses. Everything feels like a dream rather than reality. In the familiar silence, all he can hear is his roaring heartbeat.

The silence is broken by Annette. "Oh no."

Annette's voice jolts Kael from his frozen state. His eyes snap wide open and fixate on the orb in front of him rather than Annette. A dull dark orb. Not at all what he wants to see.

Kael's muscles bulge as he squeezes even harder. Yet the orb does not brighten. Kael's face pales.

While clutching the orb, Kael whips his head around to look at Annette. Her parted mouth is more than enough to indicate her shock.

"Annette?" Kael questions in a soft voice.

"I don't…" Annette takes a moment to compose her words. "Kael, you didn't awaken."

"Wh… what does that mean?"

"You… you can't use mana."

His arm that was tightly gripping the orb falls limply at his side. His head turns back to the orb before he takes a few shaking steps backward.

He wants to ask Annette if there is a mistake. Maybe something else went wrong. Maybe he could try again next year. Every word he wants to say catches in his throat.

He knows what Annette will tell him if he asks. Hearing it would immediately shatter the dwindling hope he has left.

Annette reaches out her hand to console him, but she stops halfway. She has no words of consolation, no recourse for alleviating his current state.

Kael swallows a bit to try and clear up his dry throat. His body is like lead giving him trouble turning around. His head tilts slightly toward the ground so he can't see Annette's face when she is in front of him.

"I'm sorry Annette. I… I don't think I can stay here."

"Of course, child. Know that the house of the Goddess is always open to you."

Annette escorts the trudging Kael to the doorway of the chapel and opens the door for him. Melinda is standing in front of the open door with a light smile on her face.

Melinda is about to speak out to Kael until she notices his defeated posture. Worry colors her face as she rushes up to him. She tilts up his face with both of her hands on his cheeks.

At the sight of his eyes, Melinda feels pain in her chest. The brilliant violet gems are now clouded dark stones.

She had never seen such a look on Kael before. However, she had seen such eyes before. It was on the day before she left her home when she looked in the mirror. They were eyes devoid of hope.

"Kael! What's wrong sweetie?" Melinda's voice comes out in a frantic tone. She has no idea of what could cause him to wear such an expression. "Is there something wrong with your affinity?"

Kael has trouble speaking up. Annette pipes up instead. "Miss Melinda. Kael, he didn't awaken."

Melinda looks at Annette with wide eyes. "What does that mean? What did you do to my son!" Melinda approaches Annette with a livid expression on her face. She feels a surge of emotions without an outlet.

Melinda seems ready to lunge at Annette until Kael reaches over and grabs Melinda's hand. "Mom, stop," he says in a quiet voice.

Melinda's rage dissipates as she glances at Kael. She turns back toward Annette. Melinda's face paints with worry. Her originally downward slanted eyebrows curve upward, her eyes widen, and her full lips frown.

"So what now? Do we wait another year?" Melinda asks.

Annette can only shake her head.

"Then what? How does something like this happen? Why didn't Kael awaken?"

Annette purses her lips a little before speaking. "This case is rare. Maybe one in a million creatures won't awaken. The fact is, creatures that don't awaken don't have mana cores."

Melinda lets out a gasp. "No, that can't be. There must be something we can do. Annette, please."

"Melinda, I'm afraid there's nothing."

Melinda seems ready to argue with Annette some more. She stops when Kael lightly squeezes her hand. "Mother, let's just go home. I'm fine."

Melinda looks at Kael and sees him giving her a sad smile. She knows she is only venting her frustrations on Annette because she feels so helpless.

She is also trying to delay the trip home. She knows when they leave that she will have no way of comforting Kael. She is scared to see him drown in despair.

However, she also knows there is nothing left but to go home. "Alright. Thanks for helping Kael all this time, Annette."

"No need for thanks. It's part of my duty. I'll pray for Kael to the Goddess. You two have a safe journey home."

Melinda and Kael walk home hand in hand in silence. Kael's grip is weak. Melinda firmly grasps his hand to keep it from breaking.

Melinda fears for the end of the night and can't keep her eyes from monitoring Kael. She can already feel the memories of this awful night etching themselves in her mind.

About a minute away from home, Melinda finally speaks up. "Don't worry, Kael. Mother will find a solution."

Kael gives her a pained smile. Melinda can hardly bear to look at his eyes. "It's okay, Mother. You and I both know that nothing will change."

"Kael, you can't give up hope."

"What should I wait for then?"

Melinda has no response to his question by the time they reach their house. Melinda escorts Kael to his room upstairs.

"I'm going to bed, Mother. I'll see you in the morning." Kael opens the door to his room and walks in.

"Kael, wait," Melinda calls out in a meek voice. Desperate to prevent his night from ending on a terrible note, she reaches her hand out. Her hand only meets a closed door.