Lose All Control

When Xiao You Ren sensed the presence of another person, he focused his attention on the mirror reflecting the shadow of that person's face. A look of surprise was evident on his face, he turned his face to meet the figure's face. His mouth mutely called out, "Gege."

The man was still standing beside Xiao You Ren's desk and smiled. "It's been a long time since we last saw each other, You Ren," he joked. Bringing himself to sit across from Xiao You Ren with the intention of making some light brotherly conversations.

Xiao Han Yu, Xiao You Ren's older brother. Somehow it could be someone he really wanted to avoid for a long time. In the past, Xiao Han Yu's baseless hatred for his mother, he took out on his younger brother, had unknowingly put a great distance between them. His treatment also does not reflect the figure of an older brother who deserves the respect and affection of the person who calls him brother. Assuming that his brother was not much different from their mother, a betrayer who caused their father's death. Xiao Han Yu was mad and blinded by such a deep mist of hatred, not to mention the responsibility he had to bear at such a young age.

However, when the grown man meets a girl who has a soft heart and is able to break down all darkness within him. Xiao Han Yu slowly changed for the better and tried to make up for all the bad treatment he had on his little brother. Unfortunately he was late. Xiao You Ren was already too far out of his reach. The little brother's hatred was already mounting, even though he still displayed an obedient attitude and seemed to be able to accept all his ugliness. However, Xiao Han Yu knew that none of that was the truth of his brother.

In the room filled with many people, the feeling of loneliness was far more dominant in the hearts of the brothers. Everyone was silent with thoughts running through their minds. It looks like they ignore each other's existence, even though one of them is stringing the right sentence. No one wanted to start a conversation at that time, it didn't mean they would continue to drift off into a state of silence.

Xiao Han Yu watched his brother's face carefully. And realized that the younger one had a lot of changes in his body. That face was so stiff and so serious, without any meaningful expression, it made Xiao Han Yu's heart skip a beat. Where did the cheerful little brother go?

"You've lost a lot of weight, You Ren," he said softly, his eyes still glued to his little brother.

Opposite him, Xiao You Ren looked very cold from the outside, but the man's heart was having an overreaction. There are various feelings that are guerrilla, ranging from fear, anger to hatred, but it is undeniable that longing is still attached. He missed the figure of an older brother who loved him like when he was in elementary school. Even so, reluctance was clearly visible in his glasses-hidden eyes.

Realizing his brother's silence and no response from Xiao You Ren, Xiao Han Yu was struck with guilt again. His memory flashed back to the worst moments of his life. Regret after another filled the gaps in the heart and made the desire to embrace and apologize to Xiao You Ren so great. He reached out to touch his brother's shoulder, but he immediately pulled it back when he was refused.

With his lips trembling with fear, Xiao You Ren took his body away from his brother's hand.  Avoiding touch that might bring him back in the trauma of the moment. After all, the person in front of him was one of the sources of his trauma.

A gentle smile appeared on Xiao Han Yu's lips. Even though he was trying to calm himself by clenching his fists under the table and trying to resist the urge not to pull his brother's frail body in a hug that would hurt, even though what he did was only an expression of affection. Xiao Han Yu felt that it was enough for him to injure Xiao You Ren.

"Go home from time to time, your sister-in-law will be happy if you come."

Hearing that, Xiao You Ren raised his face. For the first time in a long time, he actually looked into his brother's eyes and was surprised again. Those eyes were very different from before. His older brother had changed greatly and it caused various feelings to resurface in his heart. His jaw clenched and his eyes that were hard to detect were real.

This incident was enough to upset Xiao Han Yu's heart, his feelings began to be afraid of his brother's reaction if they were together for too long. So he chose to give in and intend to leave Xiao You Ren.

"Gege will go." Xiao Han Yu stood up. He straightened his suit and put on a gentle smile. "Take good care of yourself," he continued. He patted Xiao You Ren's shoulder as he passed the boy.

After his older brother passed away, water welled up in the corners of Xiao You Ren's eyes. A feeling of tightness began to squeeze his lungs, he inhaled with difficulty and suppressed the turmoil of pain in his heart. Memories that had been tightly locked suddenly opened. Floating in the mind as if giving ridicule that hurt his pride. An intense pain shot up from the tips of his feet and created tremors in his hands.

Xiao You Ren got to his feet and ran towards the toilet, not caring about bumping into other people or tripping over a few chairs. He entered a toilet cubicle, locked himself in there with various pains. His face quickly paled and his lips turned slightly blue, a chill suddenly enveloped his body. Disgusting words echoed and filled the room.

'Traitor, you are just like your mother.'

'That mad woman gave birth to a son to continue her madness.'

'You don't deserve to live easily and comfortably.'

The sound of crying and groaning in pain from a teenager in his twenties echoed. It was as if the events of the past were repeating themselves and terrorizing Xiao You Ren from every corner of the wall. Tears continued to flow, he sobbed silently. It didn't make the slightest sound, so people wouldn't feel suspicious.

'Gege hates you, hates you so much. That's why you should be punished.'

'Xiao You Ren, don't go. Gege only has you in this world, we will live together forever.'

'Do not go.'

'It's only the two of us left, we'll have each other and take care of each other.'

'Don't walk away from Gege, that's your punishment.'

The more memories that filled his brain, the greater the weakness exposed.

Even the great hatred seemed very real and drowned Xiao You Ren in the past. His heart was beating very fast and causing a sharp pain that pierced his chest brutally. In that frenzy, the ringing of the cell phone in his trouser pocket interrupted, forcibly cutting off the bad memory that had been ruling him for a long time.

Xiao You Ren reached into his pocket with a violent tremor in his cold, white hands. The name on the screen of the phone raised a little hope in Xiao You Ren. It didn't take him long to connect the call.

"S-sir," he whispered very sadly.

"You…. What happened?" A tone of surprise came to Xiao You Ren's ears. "Where are you?" one more question left Wang Xian Wei's mouth.

Xiao You Ren took a shaky breath and tried to gain some calm in his heart. His quivering blue lips tried to spit out the words, "Toilet, Majestic Café."

On the other side of the call, Wang Xian Wei was hunting for words and said, "Wait there, I will arrive in fifteen minutes. Don't hang up the call!"

Hearing that, Xiao You Ren's heart couldn't hide his calmness. Like a bit of the burden of his life has evaporated with time. Remembering his older brother's beads turned soft, made Xiao You Ren realize that he too had to come to terms with their past. Open the lock so that all the bitter memories slowly come out and leave him to get a better life. Xiao You Ren had to let it all go and no longer deny it was a part of his life story.

Wang Xian Wei parked his car carelessly, not caring if it scratched someone else's. With wide strides he entered the restaurant, ignoring the waiter's greetings and the stares from every pair of eyes that watched his movements. He walked to the toilet and checked each cubicle, which was closed.

A middle-aged man saw his actions and immediately understood the situation as he said to Wang Xian Wei, "If you are looking for a young man, he is in the far corner of the booth." The middle-aged man pointed out Xiao You Ren's position. After a moment, Wang Xian Wei's sharp gaze fell on him, as if he wanted to be skinned alive.

"The young man hasn't been out for a long time and I was worried, so I'm keeping an eye here," the middle-aged man explained. Have no bad intentions.

"Thank you," said Wang Xian Wei. He nodded his head at the middle-aged man and walked towards the end of the toilet. His feet stopped right in front of the door, moved his hand to knock and called out in a soothing voice, "You Ren."

Before long there was the sound of a lock being opened from inside and the doorknob turning, then opening slightly. Without the slightest hesitation, Wang Xian Wei opened the door wider and brought his steps closer to Xiao You Ren. The man's face was very pale, although the redness on the top of his nose and around his eyes contrasted. Lips that were usually soft red now looked slightly blue.

Xiao You Ren stood up from his seat and looked sadly at the man in front of him. Measuring shaking hands towards Wang Xian Wei who got a warm welcome. "Sir," he whispered. Back sobbing in silence.

A chill ran from Xiao You Ren's palm, clearly slipping between Wang Xian Wei's trembling fingers. It all happened so fast that Wang Xian Wei could feel the pain flowing from Xiao You Ren's eyes. The man's breath became even more choked and agonized like a drowning man, successfully arousing worry on Wang Xian Wei's face. Immediately he pressed his lips against Xiao You Ren's lips, causing the younger leg to lose its support and fall against the wall. Through his mouth, Wang Xian Wei channeled as much air as possible and was repeated until the man's breathing returned to normal.

…..

From the street opposite Majestic Café, Wang Huanling fixed his attention on the scene behind the glass. His clear eyes searched for two familiar people. An hour had passed since his meeting with Xiao You Ren, the man should have been sitting and having a warm conversation with Liu Xuan. Then Wang Huanling would secretly take their intimate portrait and upload it. Unfortunately, his eyes had already circled the contents of the room from where he was, but the appearance of the two figures was completely absent.

Feeling that he won't get anything by staying in place, Wang Huanling took his steps towards the café and took a close look. The tips of his brows curled up and his face turned ugly from still not finding what he was looking for. He turned and was about to go home, stepping into the pedestrian area. While in the parking lot in front of his net he caught a familiar car. Xiao You Ren's car. The discovery discouraged him from leaving, he returned to the café building and entered it.

A cafe waiter noticed the movements of Wang Huanling who looked confused and was looking for someone. The waitress approached him and asked, "Can I help you, sir?"

A clumsy smile appeared on Wang Huanling's face. He explained what he meant and described the characteristics of the person he was looking for. "Did you know that?"

The waitress thought about it for a moment, her black eyeballs rolling upwards. After her memory found the figure he was looking for, she immediately spoke up. "I think he ran to the toilet," she explained. Pointing to the men's restroom.

Wang Huanling looked bright and thanked him before going to the place where the waitress pointed. Entered the bathroom and glanced at the toilet cubicles which were almost completely covered. When he was almost at the end of the toilet, a frown formed because the door to the last cubicle didn't close. Wang Huanling approached to enter.

However, what he saw inside the booth was shocking. Made his heart beat like he was running a marathon inside. Half of Xiao You Ren's face looked very red and his breathing was very difficult, the other half was almost covered by a man's body. Wang Huanling didn't know who was Xiao You Ren's partner and exchanged saliva, because his back turned and his head lowered. However, considering that he had already planned a meeting for Liu Xuan and Xiao You Ren tonight, then his perception fell on Liu Xuan.

He took his phone out of his trouser pocket and pressed the camera icon, then took a few shots. Having finished with his goal, he walked away quickly.