Chapter 9

By the time Judd got home, Autumn was sound asleep, curled up in her own bed with Boudreaux. She'd had two incredibly rough days and the skin beneath her eyes looked bruised. So he pushed the questions he needed to ask off until morning. He slept poorly, one ear cocked for any signs of distress from her room. But no screams dragged him from sleep. When he woke in the gray light of dawn, he didn't know whether to be relieved or disappointed.

Her room was empty, the bed neatly made, the suitcases stacked in a corner. Maybe she hadn't spent as easy a night as he'd thought. He found her downstairs, already dressed for work and pouring coffee into a travel mug. Boudreaux sprawled at her feet. Catching sight of him, the dog's tail made a steady thump against the cabinet.

Judd scratched him between the ears. "Hey. Been up long?"

"A while. I forgot how beautiful the sunrises are out here."

He stepped up beside her and followed her gaze out the kitchen window. A thin mist scudded along the surface of the water. That was the view that had sold him on this nineteen eighties monstrosity of a house. He could admit to himself now that a part of him had bought it for her, because he knew how much she loved the optimism of dawn. "Been a long time since you've seen one."

She hummed an acknowledgment. They stood side-by-side, watching the watercolor blush of color fade and the mist dissipate. But for the first time in a long time, the silence between them wasn't easy. Her expression was shuttered, and he didn't know where her head was. Was she thinking of her father? Was she still planning to leave? The idea of it cut him to the quick. A life without Autumn in it wasn't something he wanted to contemplate. She'd been his compass almost all his life. Without her he'd be...lost.

He thought of Nanna's assertion. You have the power to make her stay. You always have.

But what good was that power if he couldn't keep her safe?

Turning away from the window, Autumn scooped up her purse.

"What are you doing?"

"Going into work. I'm behind after the last couple of days, and I want a couple hours of quiet to myself before we open and all the Lookie Lous invade the library to ask about the fire."

"Not by yourself, you're not. Give me ten minutes. I'll follow you in."

He expected her to argue, but she just nodded and sat to wait with the dog.

He hated this withdrawn, muted version of her. It was too redolent of the way her father had drained all her life and vibrancy. The bastard didn't have the right to terrorize her back to silence. And after the evidence Charlie had found at the fire, hopefully he'd be well on his way to building a case that would get the son of a bitch put away for whatever remained of his time on earth.

They caravanned into town, with a brief stop by Leo's place to drop off Boudreaux. By the time they rolled into the library parking lot, Wishful was stirring, with parents toting kids to school or squeezing in a stop at Sweet Magnolias or The Daily Grind. His stomach growled at the scents of hash browns and bacon the breeze carried over from Dinner Belles.

Maybe he'd slip over and grab some breakfast to go and bring it back before Autumn got too far into her work.

She stopped on the sidewalk. "Judd. The door."

As he caught sight of what she had, his hand moved to the butt of his gun. "I see it."

The plate glass door had been broken. Even from here, he could see something red spilled across the worn tiles of the lobby. Tension whipped through him, but he didn't voice the question that immediately sprang to mind. When was Livia due to arrive?

"Wait here."

The lock was nothing special, and there was no security to speak of. The vandal had simply been able to reach through the hole in the glass to unlock it. Hell, a smaller person than him could've fit through the hole itself. Judd strained to listen as he pulled the door open, mindful of where there might be prints. He heard nothing but the crunch of broken glass beneath his boots as he stepped inside carefully avoiding the pools of what was very definitely paint. Paint, not blood. There was no broken body sprawled out of sight, and some of the strain eased. This was vandalism, not murder. More than likely, whoever had done it was long gone.

Graffiti was scrawled on the walls in the same red paint dumped on the industrial tile floor. Faithless whore. I see you. Over and over around the big bulletin board for local announcements. And smack in the center was a grainy, photocopied black and white picture of Autumn. Stepping closer, he identified it as the shot from the staff page on the library's website. But it wasn't her name scrawled beneath in bold, block letters. It was Harper Jackson.

"What the hell?"

Moving beyond the small lobby into the library proper, he circled the perimeter. No one bolted for one of the other exits, and there was no other obvious sign of vandalism. The damage seemed to be confined to the entryway. He'd do a more thorough search in a bit.

Autumn stood in the lobby, face pale and stricken as she stared at the bulletin board.

"I told you to wait outside."

"How could he possibly have found out? I was careful."

A sick feeling set up in his gut. "Careful about what?"

She closed her eyes, wincing. "I never wanted you to know about it."

Before the last couple of days, if anyone had asked, Judd would've staked his life on the fact that they told each other nearly everything. But she'd kept the secret of her mother for years. And apparently there was more. He couldn't stop the dual flashes of hurt and dread that spurted through him.

"Know about what, Autumn?" He knew he was pulling out his no-nonsense cop voice but couldn't seem to dial it back.

"You've been wondering how I've been supporting myself with my hours cut back so far at the library. You haven't asked, but you're not stupid. You know I haven't been making enough off the pools at Dinner Belles to truly balance it out."

Dear God, had she gotten into something illegal? "Have you been gambling?"

She snorted out a humorless laugh. "No. Nothing illegal. I've been writing."

"Writing what?"

"Novels. I started self publishing them nearly a year ago, and they're doing pretty well."

Whatever he'd expected, it wasn't that. His muscles loosened. "Why wouldn't you want me to know about that? I think it's great you're doing something you like and making a success of it."

"Because of what I'm writing."

"What, are you gonna tell me you're writing those drug store novels with the women ripping the men's shirts off?" One glance at the look on Autumn's face wiped the smirk right off of his. Oh, crap.

"Um..." he cleared his throat and tried to salvage. "So the half-naked men books. That's..." Great? Interesting? Nice? "And it's going well?"

She rolled her eyes. "There are no half-naked men on my covers, but yes, it is romance. Romantic suspense. So...like if we went to see an action movie, but the romance part of the plot - you know, the part that I like - was the main part of the story."

Huh. Chick-Action. Okay... "Help me out, Firefly, because you look like Jimmy Newman when I have to go haul his ass in after a three-day bender. There's nothing to be ashamed of. Hell, you're doing something you like, right? And you're doing well with it? So I'm happy for you."

"Thanks." She said it grudgingly, like maybe she didn't want his support in this.

What was that about?

"I'm just surprised this is the first I'm hearing about it. An author in town is something people like to talk about. I'd think Reed Campbell would have you signing books over at Inglenook and everyone making a fuss."

"It's not that glamorous. And also, no one knows because I write under a pen name."

"Oh."

"Because of the sex."

"Oh." There was no other safe thing to say.

"Because we live in the buckle of the Bible Belt and there are a lot of Puritanical people who feel like they have the right to dictate what other people read based on their own religious or moral beliefs. People who think it's okay to denigrate the most popular genre of fiction because it's written predominantly by women, for women, and it celebrates feminism and a woman's right to not only choose but also demand and expect satisfaction from her partner." Her eyes snapped to his and her finger got all up in his face. "If you ask whether that's like women's porn, I'm going to hit you. It's not."

Judd held up his hands in peace. "I didn't say anything." But he was thinking plenty.

Autumn wasn't repressed. She'd had adult relationships, same as he had. But it was one of the rare things they never discussed. Knowing she'd written books with that kind of explicit content made him wonder exactly what was in her head. Were those scenes purely made up for the story or were they fantasies of hers? What would it be like to see that side of her?

You need to stay the hell away from that side of her.

Pulling his mind out of the gutter, he circled back to the topic at hand. "What does that have to do with this?"

"Because Harper Jackson is my pen name. I don't know how my father could've found out about it, but the subject matter of these books is exactly the kind of thing he would've punished me for. He'd have used it as evidence that I am exactly the faithless whore he accused me of being. Case in point." She waved a hand at the walls. "If this isn't a threat that he wants to carry out the promise he made that day in the courtroom, I don't know what it is."

Judd clenched his fists until his knuckles went white. He'd seen the results of her father's form of punishment. The man had a gift for beatings that left no permanent scar. He would bring hell itself down on Jebediah's head before letting him lay a finger on her again. Breathing out the rage, Judd forced himself to focus on the immediate problem.

"He's not going to get near you." Reaching for his radio, he called in to dispatch and gave the order for Jebediah to be brought in for questioning.

Autumn stared at the vandalized wall. "You're going to have to tell the rest of the department, aren't you?"

"Probably. Unless I happen to find conclusive evidence that Jebediah was behind this directly."

She wrapped both arms around her middle. "I...Are people going to have to read them? The books? In the department, I mean." She obviously wasn't comfortable with that. And given her prediction about how the locals might take the news, he couldn't blame her.

"Listen, I can put a gag order on everybody. Keep the details under wraps for the sake of the investigation. We'll do everything we can to keep your pen name a secret."

"I think that cat's out of the bag. There's no way you'll get the scene processed fast enough that we can clean all this up before we open. Word's going to get out."

Judd hated the dejection in her eyes and how this whole thing had dimmed something for her that she clearly loved. He gripped her shoulders and turned her to face him. "I'll work fast. We'll go ahead and call Tyler at the hardware store to get some paint prepped. We don't need to leave the flyer up. I'll be bagging it for evidence. It will be okay."

"Mitzi may kill me herself."

"She won't. You can't be blamed for someone else's actions."

"My boss is absolutely one of those conservative pearl clutchers who thinks she can push her own agenda on everyone else. She's going to say that I've sullied the good name of this institution by association or some similar bullshit."

Judd had some creative suggestions as to what Mitzi could do with her attitude, but he kept them to himself. "It's going to be okay," he repeated. He just hoped it was a promise he could keep.

* * *

While Judd processed the scene, Autumn searched the rest of the library, making certain nothing else was out of order. The computers were fine. Nothing else appeared broken or vandalized. He'd targeted the entrance, where she couldn't fail to see the threat. Given what Judd had said about her father's health, he probably couldn't manage more than that. But it was enough to destroy her peace of mind.

It infuriated her that he still had any power over her. For years she and her mother had been victim to his special brand of psychological warfare. She'd thought herself finally free of it. But that had only been true while he was caged. She'd worked so very hard to build a life she was proud of, a life on her terms - not his - and now within forty-eight hours, he'd managed to threaten all of it. Her home, her job, even her relationship with Judd.

Judd hadn't actually answered her question about whether they'd have to read the books as part of the investigation. Maybe she'd luck out and her father slipped up enough to leave a nice, clear fingerprint somewhere. Maybe it wouldn't come to them combing through her work. She couldn't think about what it would mean for Judd to read it. Not if she was going to get through today.

"Whoa." The sound of the stunned male voice drew her from the circulation desk.

Contractor Brody Jensen stood in the entryway, looking up at the bulletin board wall. Autumn's pulse jumped, but Judd had already taken down her picture. There was only the graffiti left.

"That's a helluva thing. Any idea who'd do this?"

"I've got some thoughts on the matter," Judd rumbled. "I'm done collecting evidence, so you're clear to take care of this."

"Take care of it?" Autumn echoed.

"Tyler told me what happened," Brody explained. "I've got some time this morning before I have to be on another job, so I figured I'd get things sorted for you. I'll get the primer on before I go back for supplies to patch the door. Not quite sure what we'll do about the floor."

Autumn wasn't at all sure that they had the right to do that without involving the library director, but she decided it was better to ask forgiveness than permission. "Thank you, Brody. I really appreciate it. And if you'll get me the bill, I'll - "

"What on earth? Oh my God!" Mitzi's horrified screech echoed in the tiny lobby as she stepped through the door that had been propped open.

Autumn fought the urge to cover her ears with both hands.

"Now Mrs. Farnham, calm down," Judd began.

"Calm down? Calm down? The library has been vandalized!"

"Yes, and I'm investigating."

"With all due respect Officer Hamilton - "

"Chief."

"Excuse me?"

"That would be Chief Hamilton. Chief Curry had a heart attack and has stepped down." That announcement shut Mitzi down long enough for Judd to finish. "I assure you, the department will be treating this with the utmost priority and sensitivity. Now, as I'm sure you don't want patrons to see this, we should all get out of Brody's way so he can get to painting."

"But the library's budget - "

"Think nothing of it," Brody assured her. "Consider it a joint donation from Edison Hardware and Jensen Construction."

"And your building insurance should cover the door and replacement of the floor," Judd added. "Go on inside now. Get some coffee going if you need it. I'll be along shortly to ask you some questions."

"Me?" Her voice shot up another half an octave in outrage.

"Yes. I'll be questioning all staff about anyone they've had trouble with lately."

Mitzi's shoulders dropped and Autumn could practically see her feathers smoothing out. "Fine. I'll be in my office."

As she walked on into the library proper, Autumn mouthed, Thank you.

Judd just double tapped his chest in their signal for Got your back. "Go get some work done, if you can."

There was work. There was always work. Books to reshelve, requests to process. She fumbled her way through it, distracted, as Judd went upstairs to Mitzi's office and Brody began to bring stuff in from his truck.

He worked fast. He'd already put down a drop cloth and managed to get the obscenities covered with primer before the library officially opened for the day at nine-thirty. It didn't stop the talking among the early birds. This kind of vandalism just didn't happen in Wishful, and that meant it was big news. But at least nobody would have the chance to post pictures on the town social media pages.

After questioning Mitzi, Judd stopped by the circulation desk. "I'm heading over to the station for that interview. I'll let you know as soon as I find anything out."

Autumn blew out a breath. "I'll be here." Assuming Mitzi didn't get a wild hair to fire her.

"Oh, one last question before I go. I was gonna ask earlier, but we got derailed by all of this. You didn't happen to have any bottles of Evan Williams bourbon in your apartment, did you?"

"What? No. You know I can't stand the smell of it. It's what my father always..." She trailed off as she realized what he was saying. "You found some in the rubble?"

"Yeah. Charlie's gotta run some more tests, but he reckons that was the accelerant used. It's not enough on its own to pin your father, but it's another piece."

And Judd would, she knew, keep searching them out, stacking them up, until he had enough for a conviction. So she'd trust him to do the job he'd prepared for his entire life.

Eyes wide, Livia came around the desk, dumping her purse in a drawer. "Girl...what happened?"

Judd straightened. "I'm gonna let y'all get to it."

Reaching out, Autumn caught his hand and squeezed. "Don't let him get to you." As much as Jebediah knew how to manipulate her, he was also perfectly aware that she was Judd's soft spot. If he saw a way to use that, he probably would.

Judd squeezed back. "I've got this."

A constant stream of patrons meant Autumn didn't get a chance to tell Livia more than that they'd been vandalized before she got caught up in morning story time. People had heard she was back at work and the gossip hungry wanted to come by and get the scoop on what was going on. Many expressed their sincere condolences about the fire, which she appreciated, but more than a few just wanted an in on news of the investigation. That there was still evidence of library vandalism just added fuel to the gossip fires. Every new face wound her up tighter. She kept waiting for someone to ask about her father. So far, his release had been kept out of the media, but it was only a matter of time before someone saw him and word got out.

The reporters would come. How could they not? The original story had been so juicy, so sensational, and the day he was released, her house was burned to the ground? They'd spin the whole thing as a revenge plot - which wasn't outside the realm of possibility. And if her alter ego came out, the press would have a field day Romeo and Julieting Judd and her as they had fourteen years before. If they hadn't so heavily played that angle, would he have reconsidered wanting to be with her before now?

A familiar, lanky form stepped in from the lobby and Autumn tensed. She'd never again be able to see Mark Caulfield without thinking about the moment of confession he'd ruined. Over in the children's section, Livia was wrapping up story time, but it would take a bit for her to shake loose. There'd be no backup. But maybe he wouldn't linger. By the time he made his way around the stacks and over to the desk, she'd found a politely neutral expression.

"You forgot your inter-library loan books the other day."

"Yeah. I came back to pick them up." His gaze bounced around, not quite able to settle on her face. "I...um...read about the fire in the paper. I...it seems stupid to ask if you're okay, but I just...I wanted to check on you."

She softened a little. He meant well, in his weird, awkward way. "Thanks. That's really sweet of you. I wasn't at home when it happened, so I was lucky there. Everything else is just stuff, right?"

It wasn't just stuff. There'd been so many irreplaceable memories lost. But it seemed ungrateful to focus on that in the moment, and she didn't want to be an object of pity.

Mark shoved his glasses up his nose and seemed to finally get up the guts to look her in the eye. "If there's anything I can do to help, just name it."

Autumn grabbed his stack of books. "I appreciate it, Mark. If I think of anything, I'll let you know." She shoved the books across the counter.

He ran his fingers around the edges, straightening the stack. A slip of paper stuck out of one of the volumes. Mark tugged it out, opening it to skim the text written there. His face went scarlet, all the way up to the tips of his ears.

"Uh...is this some kind of a message?"

Frowning, Autumn held out her hand for the paper and read it herself.

Cooper's voice was low and rough. "What do you want, Lilah?"

"What I've always wanted." She took his cock in her hand, stroking a thumb over the silky steel of him until he groaned. "You. I want you."

Her head swam as the blood drained out and came flooding back into her cheeks. This was part a love scene from Forged In Blood. And God, it had been spelled out. Both her names and the title, right there for anyone to see.

"I...this is...I didn't do this," she stammered.

Panicked, she looked toward the children's section. Story time was finished. Livia caught sight of her face and immediately began heading for the desk amid the stream of parents and kids with their stacks of checkouts.

"What's wrong?"

Wordlessly, Autumn just handed over the paper.

Livia's eyes widened, and somewhere on the other side of the desk, a child's voice asked, "Mommy, what's a cock?"