Regretful Recollection

As he slurps the noodles, a warm breeze flies by him as nostalgia begins to hit.

He felt as though he was in his teenage days, remembering the time he was on a picnic with his friends and family- relaxing and having a good time.

He sees his father, all alive and well, together with his mother, who seems to be very glad about them being together.

Along with his friends, they all celebrated this small event; Eating, jamming, and dancing- they all have the same happy faces, glorified by each others' presence.

Mark feels happy to remember them again, looking at the once old decrepit photo of his parents' wedding. He felt a sense of warmth, he felt as though his parents were still there, right beside him. Reminiscing the time when he won the Martial Arts tournament, he didn't even feel confident enough that he would win. And yet, he manages to do so, thanks to the support of his family cheering him on to knock down his opponent. Grabbing the golden medal at the wooden, dusty bookshelf, he wrapped it around the photo and hugged it tightly, holding on to the memories that were once forgotten.

He remembered visiting his grandparents at an old barn with the locals greeting them with such happy faces, just like a normal Sunday family gathering.

As he was playing with the other kids at the playground, he smells the aroma of the ramen that his mother was cooking while his father was talking to other kids' fathers about the same thing the adults used to blabber about.

He was ignorant about reality back then. He knew nothing about the true world.

Even though he was bullied and harassed by his other classmates in high school, he ignored all of it like it was a prank they were trying to pull off. Failing his classwork was no big deal either, despite his parents' disappointment at him, he had no other qualms about it, as he kept reminding himself that all of that was a joke and that they didn't mean any of it.

College was no easy hurdle to overcome either, as his failures pile over one another, making it hard for him to even make friends. He soon realized that all of the lies he told himself were not effective. All the things he heard are indeed the harsh truth, but it was all too late for regrets- he became ignorant of what is the true nature of the world that he was brought upon.

Soon the nostalgia faded away like it's saying its final goodbyes before fading into the darkness.

He already knew it...

They are dead.....

His friends....

His family.....

All of them, dead.

He saw their faces begin to black out, coalesced into two eyes, looking at him with such mockery that he begins to hear laughter inside his head. He felt scared, yet he insists on letting the memory go, so he held his hand out in the attempt to take them back as the eyes begin to form a face.

The figure was pale and empty, yet its eyes stared wide at him- trying to see if it can scare him.

Mark cannot speak, he is speechless and terrified by the deaths of his loved ones. Try as he might, his ignorance brought no result of relief to himself, only adding to the larger pile that he had long since neglected.

Tears of blood flow in his eyes, as he tries to keep holding on to the memories he knows are no longer there. His breathing gets faster as he thinks this is just a dream. The face that was staring at him grew a wide and long mouth, it felt scary, like it's about to eat him.

"Wake Up", it said, as it grew a body. "THE MEMORIES THAT ONCE WERE YOUR FAMILY ARE NOW GONE. YOU NEED TO STAND UP FOR YOURSELF AND STOP PRETENDING THAT ALL OF THIS IS NOT A REALITY. SO WAKE. UP." it yelled, the words echoing in Mark's head as he processes what the figure said.

"The truth...

The truth.....?"

He whispered, trying to understand and comprehend the things the figure had just said. But before he got to know it, he woke up at the coffee table, still staring at the bowl of ramen that he prepared for himself. It's like time slowed down for him, the dream he had just seen was not the one he had hoped for.

He doubted himself, as he bit his lips and holds his hands at his head, trying to assess what is real and what is not.

He shook his head, trying to forget what he had just seen, and continue to slurp the delicious ramen, waiting for him to eat them.

"There are just some days...., where you regret even remembering them huh?", Mark said, talking to himself as he slurps into the bowl and drinks the broth; finishing it. He walks over to the kitchen sink and washes the bowl and chopsticks, using the dishwashing soap and pouring it into the sponge. Then, he scrubs the bowl and the chopsticks with such calmness that he doesn't seem to be bothered by the fact that he dreamt about his entire family dying in front of him.

Moments after drying, he opens the cupboard below the sink and places both the bowl and the chopsticks inside the dish rack. He walks over to the couch and lies down to watch the news from the television. He checks the time shown on the TV, "6:09 pm huh? That's nice," he chuckles, knowing about the memes he saw on Blueddot.

A new notification then buzzes out from his phone, the UI showed that someone is calling him. He picked up the phone. "Hello?", Mark answered, somewhat grieve-stricken about his mother's passing, "Oh, sorry. Did I call at the wrong time?", a slight worry in his friend's voice. "No, I'm fine Dieuwertsje, it's just....," Mark stammers, trying to form words as he is not in his best mood to talk, and has no courage to even offend her.

"N-no..... It's okay. I know what you're going through. From that tone of your voice and the way you speak, you must have experienced losing someone you hold dear, no? Is it your mother, I assume?", her soft and analytical tone comforts Mark "You know me a little much huh?", he said, pretending once again that he is absolutely fine when he isn't.

"There's no need to worry much about me, Dieuw. I'm fine, completely fine...", Mark said sarcastically, showing that he isn't that joyful, masking his sadness with a smile. Remembering once the time his mother pampered him, as he cried in his mother's bosom, telling him to "Hide that sadness with a smile," advising him to this very day, to not worry about anything. Not even death.

Although he may have had instances where he blamed himself for everything, there are these types of memories he will never forget.