Chapter 19: Lost Memories

I peeked at Sol from the corner of my eye as he laughed at the movie that was playing on the screen. I had insited on him taking a rest but he declined my offer and told me he would rather stay by my side.

He had on his stubborn face so I knew there was nothing I could do to make him budge.

As the movie dragged on, my mind started to wander. I pondered about the things that could have happen or might have happened and how I was back here again.

Of course coming to Sol's house was nothing for me to be concerned about but wouldn't it mean the wolf could freely enter and exit as there was no way Sol wouldn't freak out over a huge wolf that had bit him entering the house on a daily occasion.

Does the wolf have an impeccable sense of time? How does it know Sol's schedule? Does it frequent here because our scent is always in the vicinity?

Just as before, a ringing resounded in my head. I pretended to sleep as I did not fight the ringing, thinking that it would go away.

However, a scene I had never remember flashed in my head.

"You're here again!" Sol's happy voice resounded as his voice grew louder.

Suddenly my vision was filled with a sight of Sol smiling widely. He bent down and kissed my forehead as he invited me inside.

"Hmm? I wonder what I should make for dinner tonight. What do you think Little Aries?"

Little... Aries? Me? What part of me is Little?!

"You have such particular tastes! Just like Big Aries....." Sol laughed as he got lost in his thoughts.

"Oh... Don't worry about me. I have you by my side." Sol smiled, but I could see the sadness hidden behind those eyes.

I pried my eyes open as the ringing stopped, finding Sol fast asleep on my shoulder. I ran my finger down his cheek as I frowned at how haggard he looked.

I picked him up and carried him to his room, laying him down on his mattress as I searched for his blanket which always seemed to be kicked off the bed.

"Aries..."

My cheeks flushed as I heard him calling out my name even in his sleep. I had such a place in his heart... even as a friend... it should be enough yet...

"Why... does it feel so suffocating?" I whispered as I caressed his cheek.

Sol suddenly grabbed me and pulled me down beside him as I got stuck in the blanket, rolled up together with Sol.

"Sol? Were you awake?" I asked, however, the soft murmurs and light breathing from Sol proved otherwise.

I sighed and gave in as I managed to free my arms from the confines of the blanket. I gazed at Sol's peaceful face until a ringing resounded in my ears yet again.

"Lately... he hasn't been picking up his call. His sister sounded tired as well. She said she couldn't find him even with the amount of people she had dispatched... I wonder how he is..."

Who is he talking to?

"Oh... don't worry about me. I'll rest easy when he returns."

What are you talking about... those dark circles are light but that still meant you were lacking in sleep!

"Oh, Little Aries... If only I could be as expressive as you." Sol laughed as I felt my face being caressed. A peck on the forehead again as well...

Who is this Little Aries?

"I believe he is fine... However... I at least... wish I could see his face grinning at me while teasing me again." Sol smiled sadly.

"Ah...." I gasped as I found myself face to face with Sol.

...

Did he miss me? Me? The monster those people hated and wished would disappear?

No... Sol... he thinks of me as a friend. A precious friend. Someone who he can rely on in his time of need. Someone he treasures because they were his companion. However... there was a line between special and being a mere companion.

I'm not his special person. I can't be. But whoever has the right to get into his heart... as his special person... I will try to be by his side until then. That's all I can wish for right? A monster like me...

I reached out to touch Sol's cheeks but the strong burning desire to do more than that raged within me.

Can I... be just a little greedy?

I pulled him a little closer. Just close enough for our breaths to entertwine.

Until the day you cast me aside... I will remain by your side and use all the excuses I have to keep doing so.

Please... even if it's because I'm nothing without you... Accept... accept the love of this monster.

I closed the distance between us as I pressed my lips against his.

The fire in my heart thirsts for more but I knew this was already too much.

I broke the kiss as I tucked a loose strand of his hair behind his ear. Beneath the rays of the setting sun... Sol looked ever more breathtaking.

To me, Sol was the sun. Always shining down on my cold world. The ice in my heart melted the day we first met.

As the sun begins to set... The wolf will be let out. I have no idea what it has done all this while but I will not let it run free.

The ringing began again but this time it felt unbearable. My vision faltered and the sight of Sol was harder to maintain.

He was close but still so far away. When... when can we get as close as I want us to?

"You're really not like a wolf at all. I've never seen a wolf so lazy before." Sol said as he sat beside me, his warm hands stroking my head as he looked at me with curious eyes.

"Hmm~ It sometimes make me wonder why I was so scared of you in the beginning. However... Aries would be very angry if I simply went along with your wishes from the beginning." Sol grinned as patted my head, an annoyed feeling resounding in my heart as I growled at him.

"Why are you growling? Geez. I wonder where Aries is? Is he well? Is he alive? What is he doing? When can I see him?" Sol went on as his expression darkened.

"Little Aries... I'm scared Aries is gone! Did he not want me to feel bad because of turning him into a... test subject... He couldn't bear it and acted on impulse even though he had always warned me not to?"

I felt warm droplets of rain on my face as I glanced up to find Sol crying.

"I miss him... It's been so long... He used to come almost everyday without fail... He is... precious to me. How could I possibly lose him?"

Ah... I am... a person who is precious in his eyes...

"Do you see?"

Huh? Who is that!

"Do you see how your existent has impacted his life? I will not say much about your method in exercising your own control but..."

"You are well loved, child. You are no monster."

Dark fur and blue eyes...

"My... wolf..."

"I am Shadow. I am the way. Remember that I am always with you and that you are only slightly different from that child. You are never alone for I will always be with you."

***

I blinked my eyes as I found Sol still sound asleep before me. I tried to turn but remembered that we were still rolled up in the blanket together.

I tried to force my way out of it but only served to further entangle ourselves further. Now Sol's legs rested on mine and his arms wrapped around me as my hands were locked beneath his neck.

So close... I can smell his scent so strongly from here...

"Hnn..." Sol groaned as he snuggled closer, entangling our legs together as I felt our bodies touch.

N-no... think nice thoughts...

"You have free reign to shapeshift into your wolf. Would you like to do so Aries?" Shadow asked as Aries fervently nodded.

"Even with the risk... I'm willing to do so. I do not wish to discomfort him."

"As you wish. However, whenever a full moon rises my strength will be greater than yours. So I will take care of the person you treasure most. I too... Have come to grow fondly of him. From time to time... Please let me see him too." Shadow said before Aries felt the excruciating pain that came along with shifting into a wolf.

His bones felt as if they were crushed and his fingers felt like they were being pulled apart. His nose and mouth felt elongated as he felt the suffocation and pain overtake his senses.

"Guh... Hah..."

"You will get through this. You are stronger than this. I believe you are fit as a descendant from the bloodline of the Wulfstein."

"My... Bloodline has nothing to do with this... This pain is nothing than what I could have put Sol through if I continued to let you roam berserk." Aries growled in a low voice as his vision became sharper and his demeanor fiercer.

"What do you mean berserk?! I just wanted to play around! All you've done is keep me chained up! It should be no problem to let me out sometimes!" Shadow argued.

"Chained...? Ah, that... I don't know anything about that. All I remember was a time where those two said I could control my transformation slightly better if they kept my familiar chained. Said I was not capable of harnessing the power."

"That's not true--"

"That doesn't matter. I will break through those obstacles as long as I am able to remain by his side." Aries said as he nuzzled Sol's face affectionately before lying beside him.

It was tiring turning into a wolf. The amount of time needed to recuperate as the bones strengthen and the body heal itself from the constant stretch and reconstruction takes its toll on the shifter. Especially when it was not a full moon, the process would feel like pure torture.

"Little Aries?" Sol's groggy voice caught Aries' attention as his ears perked up at the sound.

"Big Aries is back. I feel so relieved to see him. With both of you by my side... I feel like I..." Sol trailed off, falling asleep in the comfort of the warmth provided by having Little Aries by his side.

"... Rest well, Sol." Aries said as he curled into a ball and slept by Sol's side.