Reviewing Oneself

*

As I lay on my 'bed' many thoughts were spiralling through my head. I had rushed here to clear my thoughts and finally digest what I felt when I used gamble during the fight.

Frankly, as an author I expected a more seamless line of events. Training arc done to completion, I get my chance to shine during the first mission and so on. But so far, I haven't really felt that. At least not as much as I would have liked. It's naive thinking actually.

I still can't get over the fact that I wasted my Free Roll. My use for it did nothing that effectively contributed to the battle. I didn't do much for those that were out there needing to be saved. I just shot a few Stragglers and wasted the rest of the time I had.

I know it was my first time in a battle situation, but still, if there's anything I learnt from that first real fight, it's that I won't get a time out just because I'm new. I could have been easily skewered by those roots if I got a different penalty that time when I wanted to roll again.

I sat up straight on the bed and thought hard.

When I used my Free Roll, which is the once a day chance I get to choose an ability from any category at its bare minimum, I took on Conrad Jorgenson's ability. Top grade military techniques and prowess.

In Free Roll, if I want the first category, which is the Novel category, I can only get the minimum capacity, which is that power. The Sundering Rings technique can only be accessed through actual gambling with the dice. The same applies to the other ability. The military prowess I get in this category lasts only for a minute in Free Roll. If its a genuine Roll, it lasts longer.

After the events of Safe Zone 4, I realised that in that minute when I was in Commando mode, my body was learning. It was adapting to the sudden change.

My body remembers.

All that I did, the knife techniques, the mobility, the accuracy. My body remembers all of it.

That's not to say I'm a badass already. I've only seen it with glimpses of the movement from my body.

Invigoration is a strange thing for me. I have become so sensitive to the changes in my body that every minute detail is taken into account. I can notice any change, increase in body fat, hair growth and even small changes in my blood flow.

This is probably the same for all other Elite Invigorated.

My movements have become the slightest bit sharper than they were. My instinct is also much more pronounced than it was before.

This led me to think.

If using my Innate ability is so dangerous, especially when I'm alone, what if I make myself stronger by using the Free Roll everyday and sparring with people like Astrid and Josh to refine my base physicality. If this goes on, I could very much become as strong or stronger than Jorgenson himself.

Becoming stronger than my own character!

That would be insane, considering that I wrote him to be strongest person in his Universe.

In the story, he only comes back from retirement because of the dire need for his skills. He has a central role in story as a Commander who leads humanity against the threat. In one of the battles, he single handedly fought off 357 enemies on his own and defeated them all, losing an arm in the process though.

I also realised that the utilisation of my current strength is more efficient when I use that ability. Since I was never a fighter in life, I can never harness all the strength I attained through Invigoration, but with this, I could be a very efficient warrior without needing to rely on gamble for constant rolls.

I don't in any way believe that I won't need to roll, but I need to be strong even without rolling.

My hypothesis is that this is the effect of my body. It has high adaptability after all. Gaining mass in two weeks is already quite ridiculous along with learning several martial art techniques up to novice within that time frame as well.

If there ever comes a day when I can use the Sundering Rings technique without needing to gamble.....

I got excited just thinking about it! That technique has some pretty serious damage.

First order of business though, is to get names for my abilities. I need concise terms to call them by. Its becoming redundant to keep calling them this ability or that ability.

In the first category, which I named, Character, I have three abilities.

The Sundering Rings is fine. I won't change it.

The second, with my famous detective, Allen Woods I call Analysis.

The third, which is the military techniques and prowess, I call Commando.

Should be fine.

The next category which for the Photography and Videography, I call Motion Control.

Since the first 3 numbers are all for stopping my target's motion, I called it Pausetime.

The next 3 numbers have to do with rewinding or fast forwarding, so I called it Flowmaster, with rewind and fast forward.

The last category which I called Review, also has one ability. So its Review all the same.

With that, I had a plan for the remaining weeks of our training. Josh had told us before the mission that we had two remaining weeks where were supposed to learn about Innate abilities in detail and train in them. That's when our abilities were supposed to be taken into account, but the sudden attack had ruined it.

Now I was looking forward to it. I can fix my mentality as I go, but for whatever reason I decide on, I need the strength to survive and protect my friends.

When I thought of protecting, my mind spiralled towards a topic I had been trying to push to the back of my head.

My family.

I hadn't had the time to think about them with all the tense atmosphere.

A memory gnawed at my brain. The skewered people on the roots of that straggler really reminded me of my family. Thinking that it happened to them as well was a dreadful thought for me. If they really died, I hoped it was not as much of a painful experience.

I couldn't do anything for now. I don't even have the strength to protect myself yet.

I hardly have faith that they survived.

'Goddammit! Is it bad that I think that? I don't know.' I thought.

I loved them, but...

I stood up and opened the door. It was time to make a schedule for extra training. I needed to become stronger.