Panic

Dear readers, in today's chapter, I highly recommend you read it while listening to the song "Constellations", by Amadae Music Productions, available on YouTube and Spotify. I'm sure your reading experience will be way better! Please, let me know in the comments how was it ♥ Have a nice reading!

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"Lara! Wake up!"

"Answer, please!"

She slowly opened her eyes. Where was she?

Her injured arm was hurting a lot and she tasted blood in her mouth.

When she managed to focus her vision, she realized that Armin and Mikasa were in front of her, shaking her.

"She's waking up!" exclaimed Armin.

Lara blinked quickly and looked around her. They were behind a house and the smoke of the destruction that the Colossal Titan's transformation had caused had not yet gone down.

Had she passed out? If so, it was for just a few minutes…

"Lara..." called Mikasa, softly, "Can you hear us?"

Slowly, she nodded.

"W-What happened?" asked Lara.

"Bertholdt has just transformed..." replied Armin, anxious. "We were almost caught by the explosion…"

"Explosion?" thought Lara.

She looked to her left side and saw that Eren's Titan was holding Sasha, Connie, and Jean, huddled together to protect themselves from some debris that was still flying through the air.

Lara then looked from Armin to Mikasa and reality hit her.

"Bertholdt... Transformed..." she whispered, her eyes widening. "My mother... My mother was close by..."

Armin and Mikasa looked at each other, very worried.

"Mom..." Lara began to feel her heart race. "Mom..." she swallowed a bitter saliva, then felt a great affliction grow in her heart and screamed, "MOM!!!"

Lara got up suddenly, being pulled back by Armin and Mikasa.

"No!!!" he exclaimed.

"You can't go!" added Mikasa. "It's very dangerous!"

They forced her to sit down, leaning her against the wall of the house they were protecting themselves.

Lara began to feel nauseous and very short of breath.

"Mom..." she whispered, while holding her own throat, seeking oxygen.

Her entire body began to shake and her hands were sweating a lot. For an instant, she thought her heart was going to explode, so fast it was beating.

Lara didn't realize it, but she was having a panic attack for the first time in her life.

Her chest went up and down, desperate for some air, and she stared wide-eyed at Armin and Mikasa.

"My mother..." Lara then began to feel the tears coming out of her eyes and running down her cheeks. "My mother was close to the explosion..."

She cringed, clutching her hair, and began to cry uncontrollably.

"MOM!!!" she screamed, desperate.

Mikasa felt her eyes itchy and stared at Armin, who looked back at her with tears in his eyes.

Armin watched Lara in front of him, and then, he quickly wrapped her in his arms, holding her head, and began rocking her back and forth.

Lara cried desperately in Armin's chest and screamed for her mother. Mikasa squeezed her own hands and stroked her friend's back, trying to comfort her. She felt a tear run down her cheek.

At one point, Armin lifted Lara's head so she could face him.

"Look at me," he said, softly. "Lara... Look at me!"

With her vision blurred and her face filthy with dirt, blood, sweat, and tears, Lara managed to focus on Armin's blue eyes.

"Remember what you taught me?" he asked. "Just now, when I was anxious up there, on the Wall?"

Lara shook her head negatively. Only Hange's image was in her mind.

"So," he continued. "I'll remind you..."

Armin began to breathe in and out slowly, gently blowing air into Lara's face.

"Breathe deeply..." he said, his chest up and down. "Think clearly."

Armin repeated the same words Lara had said to him.

"You can do it... I know you're fully capable."

Slowly, Lara imitated Armin's breathing, and little by little, she felt her pulse go down and the air return to her lungs. Then, she felt her limbs weakening, her arms hanging down at her sides.

She remained there, lying on Armin's chest, as he embraced her. Lara looked with heavy eyes at Mikasa, who was now stroking her hair affectionately and slowly blinking at her.

"Armin," said Mikasa, in a low tone, "let's go there with Eren and the others."

He nodded. Then, slowly, he placed one arm around Lara's back and the other arm around the bend in her knees to carry her, following Mikasa until they landed on the hand that Eren stretched out to them.

"You guys alright?!" asked Jean.

"I don't know!" replied Connie, panting. "Are you?!"

"Somehow..." Sasha coughed up the dust, "I'm still alive..."

"Mikasa! Armin! Lara!" exclaimed Jean, spotting his friends arrive.

Armin gently placed Lara in the middle of Eren's opened hand, who just sat there, gripping her legs, staring at the figure of the Colossal Titan ahead, emerging through the smoke.

Then, everyone there, Sasha, Connie, Jean, Armin, and Mikasa, circled around her, kneeling beside their Squad Leader.

Sasha, Connie, and Jean looked at Armin and Mikasa, as if asking them what had happened, but it was evident from their eyes why Lara was in that state.

The three friends looked at each other and they all felt their chins tremble, even their eyes watered.

"Lara..." said Sasha, softly, stroking her Leader's hands, "Please... Don't be like that..."

"Yes..." added Connie, trying to sound optimistic. "We still don't know what happened!"

"They..." said Jean, calmly, "They may have survived..."

"Yeah!" replied Sasha, raising her eyebrows. "H-Hange and her Squad are very smart! I'm sure they managed to find a hiding place before the explosion."

They all began to agree with "Yes!", "That's right!", "Absolutely!"

But, the truth is that none of them were sure of anything. Their hearts also started to get tight in their chests as they remembered Hange. Some of them already had tears running down their faces.

Lara remained silent. She stared at the Colossal Titan, but saw nothing. Her mind was foggy, with images of her mother popping up here and there.

Then, one by one, her friends placed their hands on Lara, slowly squeezing her tight, wanting to comfort her. Even Eren's Titan's hand seemed to get warmer at that moment, as if it was his way of saying he was there for her too.

Suddenly, everyone looked ahead and got up, except Lara. The Colossal Titan began crashing the houses around him, setting everything on fire. His entire body burned and smoke erupted, causing buildings and debris to fly in all directions.

"What are we gonna do?!" exclaimed Jean. "Wait until we are burned to death?!"

Armin looked scared at Lara, who was still staring at a fixed point, without any reaction. She was their Leader, the one who should give the first orders. But, she had no condition at this point. He looked nervously from Lara to his other friends.

Armin then went back on kneeling in front of her, placing his hand on her shoulder.

"Lara..." he called, anxious. "Please... We need to act..."

She blinked slowly at him and ran a hand over her face, trying to wipe away the dirt and tears. She sniffled and then looked at him, pressing her lips together.

"Forgive me..." she replied, almost in a whisper. "Forgive me, Armin... But, I can't do this... Please... Help me..."

Armin felt his chin quiver and he gently squeezed Lara's shoulder, lowering his head. After a few seconds, he lifted it. He knew what he had to do.

Armin was an Executive Officer now. Second in command. Lara's right-hand man.

He couldn't let her down at this point.

Now, it was his responsibility to take matters into his own hands, while his superior was in no condition.

Mikasa watched them and understood what had happened there. Then, she placed her hand on Armin's shoulder.

"Everyone here's waiting for your orders," she said.

Armin got up, his eyes wide at the immense responsibility that awaited him.

"We have to retreat..." he said, looking at everyone. "Find the Commander for new orders. Then, we'll engage the Colossal Titan in a battle of attrition, as originally planned."

Everyone got perplexed.

"No..." said Jean. "Hold up, Armin... Letting Bertholdt approach the Wall can be disastrous."

Armin blinked several times and widened his eyes.

"If he sets fire near the inner gate," Jean continued, "everyone else will be trapped between the fire and the Beast Titan."

Armin felt his hands tingle and looked slowly at the Colossal Titan.

"So..." he replied, "Are you telling me that we have no choice but to defeat Bertholdt right here? Just the six of us and Eren?

Everyone looked at the Colossal Titan. Houses and more houses flew away, everything on fire. It looked like the vision of hell.

They were all astonished, sweat running down their foreheads.

Then, the wreckage of a building fell right next to them.

"Armin!" shouted Connie. "That was close! Your orders!"

"We need them now!" exclaimed Sasha.

Armin stared in fright at the chaos the Colossal Titan left around.

Behind him, Lara was still hugging her knees, staring at a fixed point. Then, she slowly started to blink, feeling some tears still falling down.

Lara then looked up to the skies, to a single area that was not yet covered in ashes and destruction.

"Please..." she whispered, her eyes heavy. "Give me strength… I need to keep moving… For them… For my mother…"

As she remembered Hange again, another tear ran down her face. Lara closed her eyes and thought of her father. How was Levi?

"Is he thinking about us?" Lara asked herself.