Massacre

BOOM!!! BOOM!!! BOOM!!!

The Beast Titan threw another hail of boulders.

"He knows where we are," Levi told the Commander. "This place is about to be attacked. Erwin, if there's really no chance for a counterattack, let's get ready to flee."

Levi pointed at the passed-out Eren on top of the Wall.

"Go up there and wake him up. Make him run away with as many people as he can carry... This way, we can at least save some..."

Then, they both heard a buzz coming from the recruits.

"Hey!" said a soldier with a bowl haircut, called Marlowe. "The horse got away!"

Marlowe grabbed the red-haired soldier that Levi had tried to pull by his cloak, who was called Floch.

"Why didn't you stop it?!" exclaimed Marlowe.

"Shut up!" replied Floch. "Like it matters!"

"Excuse me?!"

"All those soldiers were slaughtered as if their strength meant nothing!" Floch was now crying. "Do not pretend you don't understand! It's no use protecting the horses if there's no one alive to ride them home!!!"

The recruits looked at him in fright. Many were already crying, too.

Marlowe released him. Floch sat on the ground, clutching his hair in anguish.

"I used to think that everything made sense..." he said, between tears. "If humanity just hid behind the Walls, someday, the Titans would come in and kill us all... But, someone had to take the risk and act. To prevent people from becoming victims, someone had to stay and volunteer to BE the victim. But... Who could be this brave soldier? When I was asked that, I believed I could be a hero!"

Marlowe was in shock, tears in his eyes as well.

"If only I knew that I was being sent here to die and that it would be totally meaningless!" continued Floch, with the images of his friends who died recently in his mind. "When I think about it, I'm sure more people feel this way… Why did I think I would be any different?!"

Floch buried his face in his knees, crying. The other recruits looked at each other, thinking exactly the same thing.

Levi watched him, serious. Then, he turned to Erwin.

"Perhaps you should ride home with the recruits and the others who are on the other side of the Wall. Take my girls and go... While the Titans focus on me, you can escape with Eren."

"What are you planning?" asked Erwin.

Levi closed his eyes.

He thought about Hange and Lara.

He thought about them going home, completely safe and sound from this hell.

"I'll... Face the Beast Titan," answered Levi, looking up. "I'll draw him away--"

"Impossible," Erwin cut it short. "You won't even get close."

Levi looked at the Beast Titan.

"Probably not..." he replied, then took a deep breath. "But if it helps the soldiers, you, Eren, and my girls to return home alive, there's still hope." Levi squeezed his hands and swallowed hard. "Even if it costs me to stay behind."

Levi looked at his friend.

"Isn't that the best we can do at this point? We're being massacred..." he wiped the sweat from his forehead. "I hate to say this, but to be quite honest, I doubt a single one of us is making it back alive..."

Erwin looked at him, serious.

"You would be right... If a counterattack were really impossible."

Levi's eyes widened.

"Is it... Possible?!"

"Yes."

Levi turned to Erwin, a little annoyed.

"Why didn't you say that sooner?! Why'd you keep your damn mouth shut?!"

"If the plan I have in mind works well," replied Erwin, impassive, "you'll be able to take down the Beast Titan..."

BOOM!!! BOOM!!! BOOM!!!

Another hail of boulders hit them.

"But it will take the recruits and me to sacrifice our lives in the process," completed the Commander, amid the volley.

Levi and Erwin looked to the side. The recruits were screaming in agony, cringing, trying to protect themselves. Now, the area they sheltered in was almost completely leveled. Soon, they would have nowhere left to hide.

"It's a desperate situation…" said Erwin, still very calm. "There's no way to avoid a large number of deaths."

Levi turned sharply to him.

"Indeed," continued Erwin, "our complete extermination is still the most likely outcome." He began to walk. "But, that's precisely why our best option is to use our deaths to give us a small chance of victory."

Levi followed him.

"To make these young recruits sacrifice themselves," continued Erwin, "we'll need something very convincing… Unless I also carry this burden, none of them will follow orders. Therefore, I'll be the first one to die... And I'll never get the chance to know what's in Eren's basement."

"Huh?" asked Levi, confused.

Ever since they all met Eren, he had carried a key that, according to him, was from his house's basement, where he believed his father had hidden the secret of the Titans.

Levi stared at him wide-eyed.

Erwin sat on a wooden box against the wall of a house, looking very tired.

"I... I still wanna go to the basement..." he said, crestfallen. "Everything I've done till now was because I thought this day would come. I want to see for myself that I was right all along... Every time I thought about death being easier, the dream that my father and I shared flashed through my mind."

When Erwin was a child, his father was a teacher. One day, Erwin asked him some questions about the Titans and the Walls, and his father told him everything he knew. Innocently, Erwin spread all this information to his friends.

Then, on the next day, he received the news that his father had been killed in a very mysterious way. All this for knowing too much… Ever since then, Erwin had a desire to know the truth and prove that his father was right, after all.

"And now, I'm close enough to the answers to reach out and grab them," he said.

Erwin looked very distressed, leaning over his body. Levi looked at him with pity.

"I'm so close..." continue Erwin, sad. "But, Levi... Can you see them? All our comrades that are gone?"

Yes. The faces of each of them flashed through Levi's mind.

"They're all here now," said Erwin, looking at the ground, "wondering what happened to the hearts they gave… Because the fight isn't over yet."

BOOM!!! BOOM!!! BOOM!!!

Another hail of boulders.

And more screams of horror.

"Is it all just inside my head? Nothing more than a childish delusion?" asked Erwin, sorrowful.

He looked at his friend. Levi narrowed his eyes and knelt in front of him, head down, saying:

"You've fought well. We'd never have made it this far without you."

Levi felt his eyes water. Erwin was one of the rare old friends he still had. The others were already dead. Actually, he was his best friend. Erwin and Hange were. Before Lara, the two of them were the only ones who came to celebrate his birthday, which was usually very lonely.

No... He didn't want to lose everything.

He didn't want to lose the woman he loved.

He didn't want to lose his daughter.

He didn't want to lose his best friend.

And no, he didn't want to send those young recruits to their deaths.

What would he have left, after all? If everyone is gone?

Yes... He knew what he would have left: emptiness and loneliness.

Two companions who have been with him in his past days.

All his life, Levi had repeated to himself that he had to make choices he wouldn't regret later.

That had happened to Lara, when Levi had initially decided he didn't want to be her father, simply because he was afraid to allow himself to love someone and afraid to let her down. And see what happened? Levi almost lost her forever.

What if Lara hadn't returned to him that day, in his arms? How was he going to live with that burden? How could he ever look at Hange again?

Surely, his life would be very different from the one he had now. Despite the situation they were in, Levi could tell he was a happy person.

Because he had DECIDED TO ALLOW HIMSELF to love Lara and Hange. And he had no regrets about it.

Levi ran his hand over his face, feeling his heart tighten.

However… He had his duty as a soldier. He had sworn to fight and give his heart to humanity. At the moment, Erwin was not able to make up a decision. So, he himself would have to decide for his friend.

But, who in the world would want to make such a decision?

Who would send friends and companions to their deaths?

"So..." thought Levi. "Is this the price I'll have to pay? The weight of the deaths of all these soldiers on my back? The weight of the death of my best friend?"

He took a deep breath.

"I'm making the choice," he said at last, raising his eyes to Erwin, with a grim expression. "Give up on your dreams and die. Lead the recruits straight into hell. And I'll take down the Beast Titan."

Erwin's eyes widened in surprise. He stared at Levi for a few seconds and then lowered his head, with a sad smile. He felt tears in his eyes.

♦♦♦

The Beast Titan was preparing a few more boulders to throw at his target.

Then, he heard a sound.

It was horses' hooves, many of them. Accompanied by battle cries.

"FORWARD!!!" shouted Commander Erwin, in the front line of one of the three cavalry groups.

The soldiers ran fast on their horses, screaming (most of the screams were out of sheer despair and fear).

"Well..." said the Beast Titan to himself. "I didn't think they would simply lie down and die. But, a suicide charge? I hoped they could do better."

"NOW! FIRE!" exclaimed Erwin.

The three groups of soldiers shot green smoke.

"Smoke?" asked the Beast Titan. "Oh, yes... It's those signal things..."

Now, he knew where to aim.

"Attack incoming!" exclaimed Erwin, leading the group to another position. "Move!"

As the soldiers screamed, during the exchanges of positions, Erwin's words echoed in their minds, which he had said only a few minutes ago:

"I'm announcing our final operation! All troops, line up! We'll be doing a cavalry charge. Our goal is the Beast Titan. Of course, we'll be making ourselves easy targets. So, the moment before he attacks, we'll fire our smoke signals in one go. This should affect the accuracy of his aim. While we attack as a distraction, Captain Levi will kill the Beast Titan. That's our plan!"

At this moment, Levi was going from Titan to Titan, killing them, to get closer to the Beast Titan, while also remembering the last conversation he had with Erwin:

"What?" asked Levi, at one point, just before Erwin announce the orders to the recruits. "You want me to go after him with just ODM gear? He's standing in an open area, I won't be able to attach to anything!"

"Wrong," replied Erwin. "There's something you can attach your ODM gear to... In the Titans next to him. Use them to silently approach and kill the Beast Titan."

As Levi flew, taking down the Titans one by one, he looked to the side and saw all the troops approaching the Beast Titan with full speed.

He felt a great tightness in his chest and pressed his lips together.

"Forgive me..." he whispered.

The soldiers kept running, screaming, towards the Beast Titan. Erwin's words still echoed in their minds:

"The longer we stay here, the more are the chances he'll have to throw boulders at us. Get ready immediately!"

"Are we all heading to... Our deaths?" asked Floch.

"Yes," replied Erwin, impassive.

"And if we're gonna die anyway," Floch had tears in his eyes, "you're saying it's better if we die fighting?"

"Yes."

"Well..." Floch laughed nervously, among tears, "If we're gonna die anyway... So, even if I die after obeying or disobeying orders, my death can be totally in vain?"

"You're precisely right," replied Erwin. Floch's eyes widened. "It's all meaningless. No matter what dreams or hopes you had, or how fortunate your life had been until now, none of that will matter the moment you're shredded by the Beast Titan's boulders. Everyone will die someday. But, does that mean life is meaningless? Was it useless for any of us to have even been born? Would you say that of our fallen comrades? Were their lives meaningless, too?"

At this moment, the Beast Titan threw another huge hail of boulders.

"NO, THEY WEREN'T!"

The horses' hooves were deafening.

"WE'RE THE ONES WHO GIVE MEANING TO THEIR SACRIFICES!"

The soldiers could already see some boulders flying through the skies.

"OUR FALLEN COMRADES AND THEIR BRAVE DEATHS. AS SURVIVORS, IT IS OUR DUTY TO REMEMBER THEM!"

They now saw their lives flash before their eyes.

"WE'LL DIE HERE, TRUSTING THE LIVING TO FIND MEANING IN OUR LIVES!"

The boulders were coming.

"THIS IS OUR SOLE METHOD OF REBELLING AGAINST THIS CRUEL WORLD!"

Erwin now shouted from the front lines of his cavalry:

"MY SOLDIERS, RAGE! MY SOLDIERS, SCREAM! MY SOLDIERS, DEDICATE YOUR HEARTS!"

BOOM!!! BOOM!!! BOOM!!! BOOM!!! BOOM!!! BOOM!!!

The last thing Erwin saw was a huge boulder coming towards him.

And then, complete darkness.