Changes

Unfortunately, the vacation was over and the family routine had to change again. In the beginning, it was a big challenge for them to adapt, as they were used to waking up in the Headquarters and going straight to work. Now, they had to wake up a little earlier, as they would need to go to work using their horses, which stayed in a small stable behind the house.

Now that the routine was heavier (mainly because Hange was the Commander), they decided to always have lunch and dinner at the HQ, only having breakfast at home. They would always wait for each other at the end of the day, and they usually would get home feeling very tired, going straight to bed. At least they could chat along the way, asking how each one's day had been, and during the weekends, they would spend more time together.

And, just as Hange had said at the Festival, their Saturdays included waking up at any time they wanted, spending the whole day having fun in the yard, and at night, Levi cooking a nice meal (now with Lara's help), and then playing some board games. Although Lara was already a big girl, no longer needing to be put to bed, she insisted on getting a goodnight kiss from each of her parents, before they closed the door for her to sleep and then, to the utter happiness of Hange and Levi, they couple would spend the whole night from Saturday to Sunday making love.

So eight months passed, until Hange organized an expedition for the Survey Corps to finally go on a mission beyond Wall Maria and explore more territory. Who knows, they might even find the so-much debated "Ocean".

During that eight-month period, many things happened. An excellent one was that all the Titans that were inside the region of Wall Maria were defeated, and people were finally able to start going back and living in their hometowns. All this contributed to the businesses shops and stores to improve a lot.

In the meantime, Lara turned 14 years old, and finally, a big event happened in her life: she got her period.

It all happened on a Saturday morning. Lately, Hange and Levi began to notice an unusual height growth in Lara. Now, she was about only eight centimeters shorter than her father. Her body also began to change much faster. Her breasts were already starting to grow more, as well as some other curves, gaining a little more weight, ceasing to be that skinny girl, and little by little, becoming a pretty young lady.

However, in the previous week, Lara complained a lot about pain in her legs and headaches. On Friday night, before going to sleep, Hange said to Levi that she suspected that Lara's symptoms were very similar to first periods, for Hange had felt the same way when it was her turn. He went to sleep a little worried about how his daughter's PMS would be.

And Hange was right. Early the next morning, the couple woke up startled by Lara's screams. They rushed to their daughter's room, only to find her in utter desperation, pointing to the huge bloodstain that had gotten on the mattress.

Levi stood in the doorway, eyes wide, wondering how it was possible for someone to lose so much blood and keep living normally. He had already seen a lot of blood during his life, but somehow, seeing it all coming out of his daughter, scared him a lot. While Levi thought about it, Hange went to Lara, taking her to the bathroom to teach her how to put on the pads.

During her first period, Lara was terrified that her Survey Corps uniform pants might stain, as they were practically white, and one night, when they were returning home, she asked Hange if there was any possibility of changing the uniform to black, for it was really uncomfortable to wear such light color pants. Because, since the Titans' blood always evaporated, if a girl's period stained her pants, everyone would know it was her blood, and it could cause her great embarrassment.

Hange thought this was a fantastic idea and said that as soon as possible she would do her best to make everyone change their uniforms to black. On his horse, Levi stared at his hands, pondering how he had never thought about it before and that it must be a big hassle for his fellow female soldiers to have to wear that white pants. He also found himself thinking about how they were true warriors for being able to fight, even though having terrible cramps.

However, Lara had quite a hard time dealing with all these new hormones in her body at first, and many times, she didn't know how to control her feelings, having a certain moment when she was so rude to Levi for nothing, that made him visibly upset. With all the patience in the world, Hange went to her daughter's bedroom and was very wise to advise her that, just because Lara was now having PMS, she was not free to be rude to people, using that excuse. Now Lara would have to face the real challenge, for she would have to learn to deal with her new emotions and feelings without being influenced by them.

At first, Lara found it interesting that her mother told her that, as Hange was normally an extremely intense person in her emotions. However, for some time now, perhaps due to her new responsibility as Commander, Lara noticed her mother was now being able to express herself in a "less crazy" way, so to speak. Then, Lara came to the conclusion that Hange herself was trying to follow her own advice.

In the end, Lara took her mother's advice very willingly, yielding a pretty tearful reconciliation with Levi, with her lying on her father's chest, asking forgiveness for her bad behavior. He hugged her back, making Lara and Hange surprised to hear him say that if she wanted to talk to him or get something off her chest, he would be there for her.

Levi was indeed an excellent husband and father, always very affectionate and attentive to both of the girls, doing everything to see them happy. Despite sometimes arguing over silly things here and there, Lara had no memories of seeing her parents fight.

There was only one occasion in particular where Hange and Levi had a big fight. It was very difficult for the three of them to keep that big house clean and organized, because of the heavy routine of work. So the couple began to argue about whether or not to hire one or two people to come and clean it once a week.

In the middle of a book reading, Lara watched them in astonishment as her parents argued in the kitchen. It was the first time she had heard them raise their voices more than usual, with expressions of fury on their faces. And, to her surprise, they considered sleeping apart that night.

Now it was Lara who was furious. In a sudden movement, she pulled them both by their arms, surprising and sitting them on the couch. Lara then began to tell them that she hadn't gained two wonderful parents only to see them wanting to sleep apart over such a trivial matter.

Lara pointed at their faces, saying they were behaving like two five-year-olds. Or rather, not even children behaved like that, because they would normally make up so quickly, they didn't even remember the reason why they were fighting.

Lastly, Lara asked them if this was the example they wanted to set for her, when demonstrating that a couple should sleep apart because of a fight, and added that if they didn't have the ability to sit down and talk to solve their problems and sleep together, as adults and true husband and wife, they shouldn't even have gotten married at first, which made Hange and Levi quite scared.

That night, the couple lay in bed, very shy and embarrassed, looking deeply at each other. Then, unintentionally, they ended up saying "I'm sorry" at the same time. Levi pulled Hange into a passionate kiss and in the end, they made love to celebrate their reconciliation. After that day, they never considered sleeping apart again, and they came to an agreement that they would hire someone to help clean the house after all.

When Lara was already starting to control her feelings and new hormones during her menstrual cycle, it was Hange's turn to get a little shaken when it came to periods.

On a certain month, Hange called Levi and Lara into the living room. They both sat on the couch, and standing, Hange told them her period was late. Immediately, Lara hopped in joy, while Levi gazed at the fireplace, eyes wide. However, Hange said that she wasn't sure about anything and that it could be a false alarm. Levi didn't sleep that night, gazing at his bedroom's ceiling and thinking about the possibilities of what Hange's notice could mean.

After a few days, the family started to think that Hange was really pregnant, and then, they began to have an enthusiastic behavior with the idea, especially Levi and Lara, not allowing Hange to do anything, for she should only rest.

However, the next Sunday morning, when Hange went to the bathroom, her period came. She got to the conclusion that it was late because she had been under a lot of stress in the previous days. The family spent the rest of the day feeling sad, about the false alarm of a supposed baby.

So, the next months were always full of expectations, but unfortunately, Hange's periods came all normally. This was starting to make her a little shaken, for she was really enjoying the idea of getting pregnant. Lara noticed that Levi also got a little melancholic whenever Hange announced that she got her period for another month, which resulted in him going for tea alone on the porch, gazing at the horizon, looking downcast. Seeing her parents' sad mood, Lara thought it was good to include in her prayers the possibility of Hange getting pregnant at the opportune moment and thus, making her family happy.

Speaking of sadness, the saga of "what was going on with Armin?" was still part of Lara's life. During all those eight months before the mission beyond Wall Maria, their relationship seemed more confused and he still continued to avoid her.

Lara wanted to ask him why he was behaving this way towards her, but she just couldn't muster the courage to do so. She didn't understand why she couldn't talk to Armin. But, it seems that because he was more and more distant, a barrier started to rise between them with each passing day. However, there were also times that this barrier didn't seem to exist, which left Lara pretty confused.

As she was now paying more attention to her feelings and emotions, Lara realized that every time she talked to Armin about matters concerning their posts or anything else, she would feel butterflies in her stomach and her heart run wild.

In fact, Lara was getting annoyed at how this whole subject called "Armin" got her so much. During the day, in training classes, she would find herself looking constantly at him, having times when Levi had to call her attention, because Lara was not performing the exercise properly and was very distracted.

Lara's head was indeed a little in the clouds. Every now and then, she would catch herself gazing into nothingness, her eyes staring at a fixed point. Sometimes, while she was having lunch or dinner with her parents, they had to call her several times before she answered. And if her horse hadn't been so smart, Lara would have bumped into a pole at one time she was riding through the streets of a District.

However, when thinking about this distracted behavior of hers, Lara realized that the person occupying her head at all these moments was Armin. As time went on, she began to notice that the boy just wouldn't get out of her mind.

One day, she needed to talk to him about some reports she had requested, but couldn't find him. After much searching, a soldier informed her he had seen Armin going down to the place where Annie was being held in custody, still trapped inside her crystal, asleep or something.

When Lara got there, she was surprised at seeing Armin looking at Annie with a sad expression, placing his hand on her crystal. Upon witnessing that scene, Lara felt a great affliction rise in her heart. She tried to leave without making a sound, but she stomped so hard on the stone stairs that it made Armin turn to her, startled. Lara stopped and they both stared at each other's big blue eyes. He looked at Lara, puzzled that she was there. She felt her jaw tremble and her eyes water, and in a quick movement, she ran out of there, slamming the door behind her, without meaning to. A few minutes later, Armin found a note on his desk from Lara, asking him to finish the reports as quickly as possible.

There was also another episode that got Lara. One night, she was with her parents at the stables preparing the horses to go home, after a long day at work. Lara told them she had forgotten her green cloak at the lab and would go get it.

The corridors were already empty, and as she approached the lab, she heard some sort of crying coming from inside. Then, she silently peeked through the door, worried, and her heart skipped a beat because, sitting on her desk chair, clutching her green forgotten cloak, was Armin, weeping profusely.

Lara felt her heart tighten intensely, anguish growing inside her. Armin bounced his shoulders as he cried on her green cloak. He gently stroked it and, among tears, he gave a sad smile, looking at the fabric in his hands. Lara really wanted to run inside and give him a big hug, saying she was there and that there was no reason for him to cry. However, her courage had simply gone away.

Lara herself felt her eyes fill with tears. She turned her back against the corridor wall, hand on her chest, feeling her heart race wildly. She took several deep breaths and then coughed to signal she was walking in.

From the corridor, she heard Armin get up from the chair, and when she walked in, Lara saw him standing by her desk, his eyes extremely swollen and holding a pile of papers. He avoided Lara's eyes, trying to cover his own with his bangs. She noticed that her green cloak was now draped over her chair.

Lara couldn't understand how she was able to walk towards Armin, for she was feeling her entire body shaking and could hear her heartbeat in her ears. She noticed he was shaking too.

"Hi, Armin..." Lara's voice almost didn't come out. "I didn't expect to find you here at this hour."

He remained silent for a few seconds, swallowing hard, probably trying to compose himself. For a millisecond, Lara jerked forward to hug him, but she couldn't go on. With his jaw trembling, Armin replied:

"I-I came to give you the medical evaluations of the new recruits," he sniffed, "I've just received them from the infirmary."

Lara rubbed her hands nervously.

"Th-Thanks..."

Armin kindly placed the pile of papers on her desk. Then, in a rush, he took a step forward towards the door, but without even knowing how she had done it, Lara blocked his passage, staring deeply at him. They both stood there, looking at each other. Now she could clearly see how red Armin's eyes were from how much he had cried. He stared at her in the same way, but with an expression of great sadness.

Lara felt the tears coming back, at seeing him in that terrible condition.

"Armin..." she whispered.

He pressed his eyes and lips together, then gently took both her shoulders, setting her aside so he could pass. That touch made Lara's heart beat faster. Armin walked out the door, covering his face.

That night, Lara didn't say a word on the way home. Worried, Hange and Levi looked at each other, and when they later tried to talk to her, Lara kindly told them she would like to be alone in her bedroom. When the house was quiet and her parents had already gone to bed, Lara found herself hugging her green cloak, crying and thinking about Armin, and all that situation they were going through.

She didn't understand what was happening to her, much less to him.

Why was she crying so hard over Armin?

Why was she waking up and going to sleep thinking about Armin?

Why was she catching herself looking at him at training classes and at the refectory?

Why was she feeling butterflies in her stomach when he looked back at her?

Why was she always finding herself making up tasks for him to do, just for the simple act of seeing him?

Why was she feeling her heart beat faster when she talked to him about the tasks she asked him to do?

Why couldn't she stop thinking about his embrace when they were in Shiganshina?

Why couldn't she get out of her mind the look Armin had given her, before going to face the Colossal Titan?

Why did she feel such a pain in her heart when she remembered the scene of her green cloak in the lab?

Why wasn't Armin getting out of her mind?!

Why? Could someone explain that to her?!

It got to a point where Lara couldn't bear to feel all that anymore and made the decision that, when they finally go on that mission and who knows, find the Ocean, for Armin might possibly be feeling happy to be fulfilling his dream, it could be the perfect moment for Lara to talk to him and ask him what was really going on for him to ignore her so much, while he also seemed to suffer a lot from it.

A few days before the mission, Armin went to the lab. He found Lara hunched over her desk, making notes in her mother's journal about the Titans' research. He cleared his throat and Lara turned around, startled to see him standing there in front of her.

"Excuse me," he said, shyly, "I'm here to give you some details of the mission planning, as requested."

Lara was still recovering from the shock, her hand on her chest and taking a deep breath.

"Right, right..." she replied, reaching out to get the papers. "Thank you so much, Armin."

At that moment, their hands accidentally touched and they pulled away as if they had been shocked. For a few seconds, they both stared at each other, their backs straightened. Then, in a sudden movement that startled Lara again, Armin turned away and strode quickly toward the door. However, she noticed that, before disappearing down the corridor, Armin's eyes were much red and filled with tears again.

"That's enough..." thought Lara, getting up.

She walked steadily to her mother's office. Lara found her talking to some soldiers about the final preparations for the mission. In a few minutes, they were dismissed and Lara locked the door to talk to Hange alone.

Then, she told her mother everything.

Lara told everything from when she thought Hange had died in Shiganshina, where Armin had comforted her; told about the episode of her green cloak in the lab, until what had just happened, about fifteen minutes ago. Lara told her everything she had felt in the last few months and what she was feeling right now. When finished, she found herself lying on her mother's chest, crying and asking for help.

"Oh, my dear..." said Hange, rocking her daughter back and forth, kissing the top of her head, "There's only one explanation to all this."

Lara looked up, her eyes red.

"What, mom? What's going on with me?! Please, tell me!"

"Well, sweetie... Don't you see? You're in love with Armin!"