Care

When Armin woke up, some stars were already rising in the sky. He looked up and saw Lara biting her nails, looking a little bored.

"Do you want me to go to your house to get some clothes for you to spend the night?" he asked, startling her. "Maybe some books, too..."

With her hand on her chest from the fright, Lara noticed that Armin was a little disheveled and had to close her hands to hold on and not touch that silky blond hair.

"No, no..." she replied, giving him a kind smile. "Since my parents are at the port, I'm staying here in the old bedroom where I used to sleep with my mother. I can't be alone in that big house at night, I feel scared," Lara chuckled. "But I would appreciate it if you could stop by my bedroom later and get my suitcase, 'cause my clothes are all there."

Armin nodded and gave a little stretch, grimacing in pain.

"I've already told you that you do not have to stay here," said Lara, worried and putting her hand on his arm. "You're gonna have a heck of a pain in your back because of this chair..."

"And I've already told you that I'm staying here until you're discharged," replied Armin, squeezing her hand. "Don't worry about me, what matters is you getting better." He pointed to her foot, "Is it hurting?"

"Just a little... The first dose of the medication has already done a good effect."

Armin ran his hand over his face, shaking his head.

"I'm really sorry, Lara… I'm feeling awful."

"No!" she exclaimed, squeezing his arm. "You don't need to apologize. It was my fault, I didn't know how to express myself properly and I ended up hurting you as well. Please forgive me, too."

They both stayed gazing at each other, with a little, silly and passionate smile. Without meaning to, Armin stroked her hand with his thumb. Then, they heard a voice:

"You guys were really made for each other, huh?!"

It was Dr. Wilson. He was holding his medical coat over his arm.

"Lara darling, I'm going home now. My shift's over and I've left everything in the hands of the nurses, who will come here at night to give you another dose of the medication. Do you want me to do anything else for you?"

Lara and Armin glanced at each other, quite embarrassed by the doctor's commentary, and quickly released their hands. Trying to act naturally, she cleared her throat and said:

"Yes, please... I'd like to know if there's any armchair or something here in the infirmary that Armin can feel more comfortable."

Armin looked at her, surprised.

"Oh, sure..." replied the doctor. "Hang on, I'll be right back."

Armin barely had time to open his mouth to protest, and Lara asked him to stop.

"No sir!" she exclaimed, lifting a finger. "Since you insist on staying, I want you to feel well. It's already enough for me to go to Liberio looking like a lame mule. I don't want my Officer to feel weak, with lots of back pain."

He laughed, raising his hands as a sign of giving up. Seconds later, Dr. Wilson popped out in the doorway, dragging a small armchair. Armin promptly went to him to help. With the armchair in place, the doctor headed for the door.

"Oh, Armin?" he said, turning around. "Are you going to spend the days and nights here?"

"Yeah."

"Right. So I'm gonna ask the cooks to include your meals, as well."

Now seated in the armchair, Armin thanked him and the doctor disappeared down the corridor.

"Well," said Armin, getting up and heading for the door, "I'm going to your bedroom to get your clothes, okay?"

"Wait!" exclaimed Lara, stretching out her arm. She pressed her lips together.

There was no way. She had to do something.

"Come here, please," asked Lara.

Confused, Armin went to her.

"A little closer."

Still confused, Armin leaned down on the bed, until their eyes were leveled and their faces were very close together. They gazed deeply at each other for a moment and then Lara felt an immense urge to laugh and had to press her lips together. Armin noticed and got a little embarrassed.

"W-What is it?" he asked, blinking.

"It's just..." Lara raised her hands, making pincer gestures with her fingers, "Your hair... It's... Messy..."

She wet her lips nervously and didn't know whether to go on or to hold back her hands, not knowing if she could touch his hair or not. Armin understood what she wanted to do and, a little shy, nodded slowly as if giving her permission.

Relieved, Lara started fixing his hair. They both blushed a lot as she gently arranged all the strands in their proper places. Lara noticed that while she was doing it, Armin wouldn't stop looking at her. He seemed to examine every detail of her face.

When she was done, Lara looked back at him, feeling her heart pounding. For a second, she had an overwhelming urge to pinch his cheeks, but she thought that it would be going too far. As if realizing how long they had been looking at each other, they both shook their heads, trying to act naturally.

"I-I'll be right back," said Armin, walking towards the door. "Do you need anything else?"

Without thinking, Lara blurted out:

"Chocolate, please."

Armin looked at her with curiosity. Lara covered her mouth, her eyes widening.

"S-Sorry! I'm just kidding!"

He chuckled shyly and headed down the corridor. Lara put her hand on her chest, taking a deep breath and calling herself crazy. A nurse came and said that dinner would be served within an hour.

After about forty minutes, Armin simply hadn't come back yet. Lara's old bedroom wasn't far and her clothes were already in the suitcase. For a moment, she had a silly thought that he had abandoned her, alone in that infirmary.

But she barely had the time to finish this thought, a panting Armin popped out at the door, walking into the room.

"Sorry!" he exclaimed, holding two suitcases and a bag. "It took me a while 'cause I went to about three grocery stores until I found one opened, and I got some clothes for me as well."

He then put the suitcases on the chair and handed the bag to Lara. Curious, she took a package out of it and couldn't believe what she saw: a box full of chocolates.

"Armin!" she exclaimed, open-mouthed and blushed. "I-I..." Lara stared at him, "I said I was kidding! You shouldn't have taken me seriously!"

"Ah!" he clicked his tongue, looking shy and sitting down in the armchair. "It's a way of trying to make up for the harm I caused you..."

Lara gave him a sad smile, feeling pity for Armin. She felt an overwhelming urge to hug him tight. She thanked him from the bottom of her heart and said she would share everything with him. Armin tried to refuse, but Lara was very firm and threatened to remove him from the position as Officer (a threat that she had probably learned from living for so long with Levi).

Dinner was served and Lara said that she would like to eat sitting at the table, for she couldn't stand being in that laid position on the bed any longer. In the room, there was a small table with two chairs, for the visitors who accompanied the patients. Armin arranged the trays of their dinners and helped Lara to sit on the chair.

He was so helpful that he insisted on serving her, practically asking her to feed her. Lara tried to reply that she had hurt her foot, not her hands, and joked that maybe Rufus was now in need of help feeding himself dinner, and they both laughed.

However, it was a very strange feeling.

For about four years, Lara and Armin had such a troubled relationship, but they simply just couldn't deny the fact that they did get along very well. It seemed like everything flowed naturally when they were together (of course, except for the moments where they got shy or blushed).

They started the meal feeling a little embarrassed, for it seemed they were in a situation that clearly looked like a date, but in this case, it wasn't romantic at all, because Lara was already feeling some pain in her foot again. However, as the minutes passed and they talked, the mood between them seemed to soften and, when they least expected it, they were feeling very comfortable in one another's presence.

For the first time in their lives, they talked alone about something that wasn't related to work. Not even when they were cleaning the stables as punishment did they talk so casually, because of the mourning atmosphere that surrounded everyone back then. As the conversation flowed, Armin talked about his past, how he lost his parents and how his grandfather died as well, having to go on a failed operation to try to recover Wall Maria, by the time the Colossal Titan attacked for the first time. Armin also said that his name was given by his grandfather, and that he was responsible for giving him a book which was written about things from the outside world beyond the Walls, such as the Ocean, for example.

Lara listened with attention and interest, asking a few questions and commenting here and there. She was happy to see how Armin spoke of his grandfather with great affection and said she was sorry he lost him at such a young age.

Although he had already heard Lara's story when they were in Winter Training years ago, Armin asked her to retell it again, with more details. Lara then told him everything, from when she was found in the wreckage of her thieves and murderous parents' carriage, how she ended up in the orphanage, then in the Forest of Giant Trees, her first months in the Survey Corps, and finally, how she became Hange and Levi's daughter. In the end, Armin was impressed and also said he was sorry for all the suffering she had gone through, until she was finally adopted.

At one point, when Lara sensed the conversation was going well, she finally thought this would be the perfect opportunity to ask about Annie.

"Armin?" she called, shyly, running her finger on the table.

"Yes?" he gave her a little smile.

Lara closed her eyes, trying to muster up the courage.

"Do you..." she pressed her lips together and felt her heart race with apprehension, "Have feelings for Annie?"

At first, Armin widened his eyes, and then, he got an expression that looked like he was offended by the question, making Lara feel a little regret.

"Why do you think that of me?" he asked, visibly upset.

"I'm sorry..." Lara cringed in her chair, looking down, "It's just… You see her so often, I thought you might ha--"

Then, in a sudden movement that startled her, Armin got closer and held her face with both hands.

"Never," he said, gazing deeply at her, while stroking her cheeks with his thumbs, "I'll repeat, never ever doubt how I feel about you. The only thing I feel for Annie is pity."

That touch made Lara feel butterflies in her stomach. Upon realizing what he had done, Armin pulled back and they both turned very red. After a few seconds of silence, Lara dared to ask:

"So then... Why do you see her so much?"

Armin looked down at his feet, pressing his lips together. He nodded slowly and then looked at her again.

"You have the right to know. It makes sense that you think that of me. In your place, I guess I'd think the same... So I'll tell you."

Without meaning to, Lara leaned forward, curious.

"When I devoured Bertholdt, in addition to the 'curse', I got his memories and feelings. With that, I discovered that he loved Annie, intensely."

Lara nodded. She noticed that Armin was processing something in his brain, as if he was choosing his words well.

"Have you ever read a book, where there is a couple that you ship? I don't know how to explain it, but when you see how much this couple loves each other, you kinda feel their love?"

Lara placed her hand on her chin, thoughtful.

"Yeah... Something like that happened to me last month. I thought it was just me. I was reading a book that Onyankopon lent me, and somehow, I could feel the love of the main couple."

"Exactly!" exclaimed Armin. "Now pretend that Bertholdt is a character in my head, and Annie is another - even though she's alive. Because Bertholdt loves her, I can feel his love for Annie." He made a face, "I know it might seem confusing, but I feel Bertholdt's love for Annie, but that love doesn't come from me, it comes from him. Armin leaned towards her, with a sad smile, "Please, I hope I'm making myself clear. I don't want you to misunderstand me..."

"Don't worry about it!" replied Lara, raising her eyebrows. "I understand perfectly well."

Armin sighed, relieved.

"So the reason I see Annie so much is that..." Armin looked at his hands, sadly, "I can't help but feel sorry for Bertholdt. Despite all the terrible harm he's done to us, somehow allowing him to still see and talk to Annie through me, is like my way of apologizing for killing him. I know we're practically at war, and to say I feel compassion for the enemy might seem ridiculous to some people."

"Armin, little do you know that this is one of your greatest qualities," replied Lara, with a sad smile. He smiled back, thanking her.

"By looking at Bertholdt's memories," continued Armin, "I saw that deep down, he, Reiner, and Annie had a very difficult life as children and that, due to many circumstances, they ended up becoming the murderers we know today. So I can't help but feel sorry for them, for all they've had to go through."

Lara pressed her lips together and nodded, symbolizing that she understood.

"Besides, by touching Annie's crystal, I might be able to awaken some memory that can help us solve this whole Titan problem that surrounds us." Armin got a sorrowful look, "And also, I confess that it's good to have someone with whom I can talk to, since Eren has been so weird and quiet lately, and Mikasa, well... Poor thing... I don't even know what she has anymore... So, all I had left was to talk to a statue."

Lara felt her chest tighten at hearing that. A little shyly, she slowly took Armin's hand.

"Thank you so much," she said, stroking him. "The fact that you told me all this is very important to me."

"Forgive me for not having told you before," he looked down, sadly. "I wanted to. I really did. But I didn't know how to bring this up, since we're not--... Well, you know..."

Lara nodded understandingly and Armin also stroked her hand, and when they realized what they were doing, they once more got very embarrassed and pulled their hands back. Lara even coughed to try to act naturally. Then, she spotted the box of chocolates and suggested they have it for dessert.

At Lara's insistence, they decided they were going to share everything after all. At one point, they went to take the same candy at the same time and their hands touched, making them a little awkward, and for almost half a minute, they tried to give that candy to the other. Then, Lara bit off half of it and gave him the other half. In the end, there was only one candy left and, in the same way, Armin ate half of it and gave the other half to Lara.

It was a very pleasant evening for both, and if the nurse hadn't come into the room informing them that it was time for Lara's new dose of medication, they would have continued talking. However, the nurse advised Lara to go to sleep, for the night medicine would make her sleepy.

Lara asked the nurse to take her to the bathroom before going to bed, and she would use the nurse's help to put on her pajamas. When they got back to the room, Armin was also in his pajamas and had prepared the bed with some warm blankets, which he had asked another nurse. Lara felt a warmth in her heart at the gesture and thanked him with a smile, which made Armin feel his chest swell in delight.

The nurse said that she would return in the middle of the night to give her another dose of medication and left the room, putting out the oil lamps, and leaving the door open in case they needed anything. It was a starry night lit by the moon, which reflected its rays through the window beside the bed. Then, Armin gently helped Lara to lie down. For a few moments, with him leaning over her, tucking her, they looked at each other. They felt their hearts beat faster and looked at each other's lips.

She rubbed her hands at her sides and Armin had a nervous breathing. Then, he closed his eyes tightly and kissed Lara's forehead, intensely, holding her face as he stroked her with his thumb. Lara allowed herself to enjoy that gesture of affection, closing her eyes and giving a silly smile.

"Goodnight. Sleep well," he said, still holding her face and gazing deeply at her. "Call me if you need anything." Armin gave her a kind smile. Moonlight lit up his blond hair and blue eyes. Everything was in complete silence.

Lara felt her heart swell and beat faster, afraid someone might hear it, and she felt as if she were in a dream. With a tremendous effort, she tried to look as calm as possible.

"Goodnight, Armin," she replied, with a little, shy smile.

He went to the armchair and covered himself with blankets. Before closing his eyes, he took a peek and saw that Lara was still looking at him.

"Do you need anything else?" asked Armin, leaning forward and looking worried.

"No, no!" answered Lara. "I just... Wanted to thank you for taking care of me."

Armin smiled and nodded slowly.

"I thank you for allowing me to."