Rejection

I let Steph pull me along without asking where we were going. 'Where' didn't seem particularly important. Steph had just saved my life.

We raced down the steps and headed toward the playground. "I can't believe that you guys have a vending machine. I saw it this morning, but there was a queue, can you believe it? There'll be nobody there now, though." Steph gave me another smile and threw open the door to the playground.

Steph dropped me off by a bench and ran over to the vending machine, jumping from one leg to another. After a few seconds, she was back with a can and threw it to me. I was about to refuse it, but it looked like she saw that coming because she popped the can open with a pat on the top, almost like magic, and took a sip while it was still in my hand. "Well, now it's open, you got to drink it."

I looked at it for a moment. Nobody had ever bought me a canned drink before. Was this really alright? I don't get pocket money like other girls do, so I won't ever be able to return the favour.

"Please, drink it, I want us to be friends." If I drank this, would we be friends? No, that's probably not what she meant. I didn't quite know what friendship was, but this was only part of it. I moved the can closer while Steph watched me with wide-eyed excitement.

Suddenly, my mind flashed back to when I was younger, near the start of primary school and a girl had invited me to a party. We were both really excited about it, but when I told, daddy told me to turn down the invitation and that if I ever made a friend, he would beat me half to death and leave me in the street. I made that girl cry, and she never talked to me again. I don't want to go through that again.

"No." There was something wrong about all this. It wasn't this easy to make friends with someone. There was a lot more work that went into it. Yes, she did help me out before, but I didn't ask to be helped, and I didn't ask for a friend. Wait, why didn't I see this before? This girl was trying to control me, but why? What did she want? Think Linda, think, was there anything she said that hinted to what she wanted. Or was it just that she thought that I was weak and an easy target. I crushed the can in my hand and the drink overflowed.

"Oh, no, you spilled some."

"Please, stay away from me." I turned away from her and headed toward the bin, and then stood in front of it for a moment. Is this really what I wanted to do? No, I wanted to think that we could be friends, that everything would work out, but it wouldn't. Steph's heart wasn't racing because she was courageous. It was because she was lying. I may not know what friendship is, but I am sure that's not what she is after.

"But, why?"

I didn't reply. She should already know the answer to that. So, we stood there in silence until the bell for what felt like hours, and then I headed back inside. The moment I was out of sight, I began to cry. I quickly brushed aside the tears and headed to first period.