--Given Space

“Don’t come close”

were the first words I’d heard from her in weeks, and while I could have kept knocking it into my head to retreat, I stepped forward.

“Stay away”

This time, they had a quality I’d chosen to ignore the first time, hollow, strange, not Susan, scratchy, and tired.

“What part of 'STAY AWAY' do you not understand?”

“You need to have your wounds tended to. And if you are okay with it, I’d like to take you to see a doctor. You’re in bad shape”

“Stay away”

With that, I made to turn around, but then I remembered her, her smiles, her laughter, and the fact that we’d been friends for years. The fact that at one point, we’d kept each others little secrets. So I paused, stilled myself, and turned to walk to her.

“Get up. You need to see a doctor, you’re bleeding.”

“Stay away, and keep your phone. Don’t call anyone.”

“We need to call someone, your father probably, you’re in a terrible condition.”

Then the pain, stabbing, my head ached, and the phone in my hands clattered to the floor.

“Leave”

At that moment, even though my scalp hurt, and I felt strands literally detach from my scalp, I stood.

“Why?? I’ve … watched you for months, I’m scared. If you go on this way, you’ll... You’ll die if this continues.”

“Leave. Don’t call him”

“Then, what else am I supposed to do?”

The grip on my hair loosened, punctuated by the sound of her falling into her bed.

“Just leave. I don’t want to talk about it.”