CHAPTER 3

April 20th, 2007

The walls were broken down to reveal a blue sky above and an expanse of what looked to be a park. I didn't recognize it, but I could tell that time had gone backward—I was viewing an earlier memory. Still after the accident, but before my father moved out east with Mason.

Speak of the devils, I glance at Jay, Mason, and my father having lunch at a table far from the other park visitors. They're in plains clothes, but three old men sitting huddled together at the park is an odd sight even here. I wonder why I think that...is it because I know what these people are a part of, or some other hidden prejudice inside of me? The thought was almost tantalizing to analyze before I tuned in to what they were talking about.

"Guys, I can't do this anymore," Jay has his head in his hands. The remnant of his sandwich left aside on the table. He digs his fingers into his skull and he lets out a sound of dejected frustration. "I told you again and again that you shouldn't have been pricks to Jack."

My father sighs, "Yes, I know. I fucked up. He's in the hospital and his kid is dead because of my personal agenda, and I have to live with that."

"What are you going to do?" Jay asks.

"What I should have done in the first place, before all this nonsense. I should have gone with Lorraine to New York."

"Dude, she cheated on you, you know what kind of can of worms that would open now?" Jay says.

My attention is immediately pulled toward my father. I...didn't know this. I knew my parents weren't together before they died—obviously I had spent most of my time with my father...but this was the reason why?

"What, really?" Mason asks.

"Yeah, it happened two years ago with some guy she met online," my father says to Mason. He turns back to Jay, "Yeah, well I have to put my personal feelings aside, I need to make sure Gavin is safe, and he will be in New York. As awful a partner as she is, she isn't an awful mother. He can be safe there."

"Safe? Safe from what?" Mason asks. When my father doesn't answer I can see the concern start to grow in Mason's eyes. "Safe from what, Greg?"

"From Jack."

This catches them off guard. "What do you mean?" Jay asks.

"Back in the hospital, when we were visiting Jack, I felt something really weird when you two stepped out."

"What do you mean?" Mason asks.

"I can't really explain it, but it was just me and David in there with him and I felt this rush of..."

"Of what?" Jay looks to him,

"Of fear. I don't really know how it happened, but even though he was unconscious I could feel him, Jack that is, right next to me. I could feel him, his anger."

"That's strange," Mason says. "Maybe that's your conscience speaking out?"

"No, not anything like that," my father says. "This was physical, it was mental, it was even emotional. It paralyzed me. There isn't anything in this life that I'd felt that had come close to what I felt in there."

"Well, are you certain that it wasn't just you like, making yourself feel things?" Mason asks.

"I am one hundred percent certain, Mason."

"Okay, so you're just going to up and leave?" Jay asks.

"Yes."

"Don't be so quick to leave, Greg. You have shit here you need to make right with Jack," Mason says. "You made the order that killed his kid."

My father looks nervous, he puts his head in his hands.

"Listen, if things do get bad, I'll be on that way with you, but like, what harm could he actually do?" Mason asks.

"I think I'm going to stay no matter what, I mean, I can't leave anyway because of Karen's cancer. Uprooting now would be a nightmare in getting new doctors that would know what they were doing," Jay says.

"I just don't know what to do," my father says. "Nothing seems like the right thing because I'm at fault if something goes wrong either way."

Mason pats his back, "It's okay, man. We're going to get through this. Do you want to bring Gavin up to the cafe suite tonight? I'll call Kate and she can whip something up for us, you too Jay if you and Karen are interested."

Jay nods and smiles warmly, "I think that would be nice. She's been aching to go out and eat, but the chemo's been a little tough on her lately, I'll see if she's up to it," he says.

Mason turns to my father, "And you, Greg?"

"I guess it could do us some good."

"Good, I'm going to go and see her now, forgo the phone call. Meet-up at say, seven?"

"Seven works," My father says.

"If she's up for it we can make seven," Jay says.

"All right, gentlemen, I'll leave you two to your own devices, seven it shall be." He walks off leaving the two others behind. I stare at the scene and take Mason's seat next to my father. I try to put my arm on his shoulder, but I'm forbidden from interacting. I go right through him like he were some ghostly mirage.

I ball my hand into a fist and am holding it where his heart must be...how close I am to you and you're...years away from me. Dead, gone, and still here to be at the center of that which I most desire.

The ground starts to peel upward as if it were folding over on itself like a sheet of origami. It coalesces at the top point into a singular glowing mass of white that spills new colors onto the ground below. I hold my arms above me to shield my face, but like everything else here it flows through me as voices and...scents?

I get a very strong hint of something nasty and I turn over to retch. Out of the corner of my eye I can see the familiar insides of the Republic Plaza building—although this time I'm standing inside a room I haven't been into before—it's a different laboratory.

I dive right in.