Memories

My thoughts were in a mess. I was too far gone... I wanted to give up. I wanted to end it, right here, right now. I tried so hard to leave that world behind but now after everything, I just want to end it.

My body was numb from the pain, I couldn't feel anything. I tried to be a fighter. I wanted to survive. Sure they betrayed me but all of the suffering from back home and that damn prophecy, made me want to destroy everything. I should just jump off from this cliff, dive into the ocean and die. This body is already dying, I could just speed up the process.

I stood up from the edge and looked at the uncharted waters. Seven years ago, I came to this realm. I ran from my past. Well, I tried running. It turns out, I never ran from it cause it was with me all along. The friends that I had here... I should have known all along, that Ryan, was my brother. Which meant that the others were all in disguise.

"But why should I care, they could all just go burn in hell." Now that I know the truth, I don't care.

"But surely you don't mean that sweetheart."

It was him again. A storm was approaching our direction, the thunderous claps shook the skies. The waves began to thrash violently against the surfaces of the cliffs. The waters were rising and with each crash on the cliff, made its splash onto me. I continued to stare at the ocean. With the storm, the sea, and the wind all combined... soon there would be a hurricane. And as if right on cue. It began to form.

"You came to finish me off. Was the first time not good enough for you?" I didn't need to turn around. He was the reason my body was dying. He remained quiet. So I continued to speak not daring to look him in the eye but instead to stare as the eye of the storm could be seen.

"Was this all worth it? No one cares about how I feel... The dark council, the royal families, all the kingdoms... Why does one soul have to go through so much? What's the use of even talking to you. I tried to run... I tried to hide... you wouldn't understand anything... even if I explained it to you..."

I didn't have much time left. I could feel my life slipping away. I hoped we never meet again. With those last thoughts in my head. I jumped into the ocean. I hit the water with much force. I held my breath, but I couldn't hold it for long. I closed my eyes and I let myself go. This is a good place to die. Once I return to myself, I'll go into the infinity ocean and kill myself once again. The darkness seemed like a good friend now...

•°•°•°•

"Do you think it was worth it?" I asked.

"I don't know." He replied

"I don't know what to believe anymore... I want it to end. I want history to stop repeating itself... How much more hurt should we endure?" At this point, the tears began to fall.

"It doesn't matter if history repeats itself. Cause what matters the most is that in every lifetime, I would always find you. I love you and only you for eternity my love" He held me in his arms, whispering the words that always made me fall for him. From the moment I met him, I knew that we were meant to be.

"I love you too my love." After I spoke those words, no other words needed to be spoken after that cause our hearts and body did the talking. He was the light to my darkness and I to his. We couldn't exist without each other and it was a never-ending cycle. And I guess it was sometimes okay... no matter how much pain we went through, we always found each other... no matter what happened.

•°•°•°•

Darkness surrounded me in this empty abyss. I was all alone floating in these endless depths. It felt like time was just slipping by. Another dream about them again. A dream about two people and it seemed that in the dreams, I was either a spectator or the girl.

After what, seemed like hours, I finally ended up at the bottom...and I just lay there. I couldn't see anything. But I wasn't in the ocean... I was inside my mind. Thinking back to how my life is... at least where I am now, no one will be able to tell me what to do... In this lonely place... I sit up, bringing my hands close to me. I close my eyes and I could feel my energy. My powers were returning. Which meant that my body has died and once I wake up, I would be the person who I always was... A being of pure darkness.

A ghost of a smile forms on my face as I opened my eyes. In my hand was a little orb of light glowing in the dark. My little light in the darkness... Sometimes I always wondered why I could make an orb made of light like this. I am a dark being after all. I was never supposed to have light powers. The only place I could make an orb of light was in my mind.

I frowned as I felt a presence surrounding me. The creature of my darkness. She sprung up on me, I had no time to react. It snatched my little orb of light away from me, destroying it slowly, like a human's thirst for water. It ate away the light and disappeared back into the abyss.

I gasp in shock and moved back as I watched it disappear, as the tiny bits of light faded away. This always happened when I created the orb. The darkness was always angry when I did that. They would lash out at me. That's when, my memories started to return, from those days. I whimper silently as a memory flashed before my eyes. A memory that I would never forget. The day my father first locked me up.

I close my eyes, blocking it out. All my life I've been treated as an outsider...A princess to a kingdom...with a home...a family...but deep down inside...I've always been a monster...

"We've all got both light and dark inside us...what matters is the part we choose to act on...that's who we are." I gasp and search around for the source of the voice, standing up, breaking out of my memories.

"Who's there?" I quietly say... that voice wasn't my darkness.

A gust of wind blows by, making me lose my balance and fall to the ground. I look up and a bright light seeps through my darkness engulfing everything on its path. I shield my eyes from the impact.

Everything goes still for a moment and I opened my eyes and was mesmerized by the sight in front of me. Everywhere around me was filled with snow. It was going on for miles.

But the thing that caught my sight was her. A beautiful woman stood a few feet away from me. She had long ice blonde hair that was swept to the side, she had bright ice blue eyes. She also wore a long white dress that had patterns clustered with stars all over it. Making her look like a queen. She looked familiar but I couldn't remember from where...

She smiled and gestured me to follow her. I felt cautious of her, I didn't know if I could trust her but I followed her. We walked down an aisle that was decorated with ice flowers that only grew in the snow or cold places.

"Am I in heaven?" This felt too good to be true. Is this really in mind?

"No, we're not in heaven. We're inside your mind right now" And it seems that she can also read minds.

"I can't read minds." She laughed and I gave her a quizzical look.

"When your human self passed away, do you remember the dream you had?" All of a sudden she went serious. I was silent for a moment trying to remember the dream. In the dream, it was me and this boy. But it felt as if I was older and I felt like a passenger in a body that felt like my own. I could feel her emotions and I could hear her thoughts.

"Yes, I remember."

"That was my past life." I look her in the eyes. Past life? If it was her past life... then why did the hell am I dreaming about a person that I've never met. None of this makes sense. I didn't like where this was going...

"You may not know me Serah but I know you very well. You have to be ready for what's to come."

"No you don't know me...you don't know what I have been through. Try going every day with insults thrown in your face. Every single day I've been through worse. And it will keep on going till the day I die." My fists were clenched.

"My father, the king of the demon realm is doing nothing for me. For them, I'm just a tool, to use and to be thrown away. Don't say you know me cause you don't."

I quickly say. My breathing became heavy as I remembered what they did to me. I don't even know why I even said all those things to her. I don't even know her... And she thinks she knows me.

I start to walk away. The tears threatened to fall and I didn't want her to see me weak...She grabbed my hand and I halted in my footstep when I heard her whimper.

"I'm sorry"

I turned around to face her and she was crying. I was shocked and I wondered why. She then pulled me into an embrace.

"Everything will get better. There's someone out there that's just like you, he will protect you and you will protect him."

Someone that's just like me...

At that moment, I remained quiet. I didn't know how to respond. She held me in her arms as tears fell from her eyes.

"One day, I know that you'll make it right... Don't let history repeat itself once again."

I couldn't comprehend what she was saying, but she was crying and it made my heart cry. My eyes began to feel sleepy. My eyes then started to drift and sleep started to take over me.

"I guess our time is up... at least I finally got to meet the new me. Thank you."

°•°•°