Worried About

Saved by the bell once again. All I can think about is the need to escape. I shove all my belongings in my bag and rush out the door, not looking back at Alastair. How did he know? Was I that obvious? If he figured it out after only a couple of interactions, did anyone else? Did he tell someone? I feel myself begin to hyperventilate, before I run straight into David's broad chest.

"Whoa there, Cammy!" He wraps his arms around me, and I collapse into him, giving in slightly to the omegan desire to be comforted and cared for. He strokes my back soothingly, hushing me gently. "It's ok. I've got you now." His words aren't as comforting as he thinks they are, and a small sob escapes my lips. "Hey, hey! What happened, love? Why are you crying?" He pulls me back, trying to capture my attention, but I can't look at him right now.

Am I a cheater? Do these thoughts about Alastair make me a bad person? Maybe he was right, and it is better if we keep our distance. There is nothing between us. There can never be anything between us. "Please, tell me what's wrong, my dear." David tries again as he unconsciously begins releasing pheromones. I become slightly dizzy as I smell the concern and protectiveness coming off him in wafts.

I just shake my head at him. "I—" My voice cracks slightly. "I need to be alone right now. I can't stay to watch practice. Sorry, love." I muster up a quick peck to his lips, trying to reassure him. "I'm gonna run home. Take Ellie and don't wait up for me. I'll see you tomorrow."

I don't wait for his inevitable protests. I just start running. I run out the school's double doors, ignoring the stare of curious classmates and dip into an alleyway near the school. I quickly strip all my clothing off, shoving it into my backpack. I take a breath and then shift.

My bones melt, shrinking or stretching into my new form. My organs are pushed and shoved into new configurations, leaving me momentarily breathless, nauseous, and dizzy. My fine, golden hair thickens and darkens, spreading to cover every inch of me. My eyes glow ice blue, the only indication that I am not a true wolf, but a creature of magic.

I feel my wolf side take over and my human worries become distant, giving way to pure instinct. After stashing my backpack behind a dumpster, I run, my golden wolf form quickly taking me deep into the forest on the edge of town.

At around 160 pounds, I'm not nearly as big as David or Taylor, but I'm still faster than a normal wolf. I know it won't take me more than a half hour to reach pack territory, but I don't want to go back there and risk running into David.

Instead, I run south into the hill country. I leap over rocks and fallen trees, enjoying the way the steady incline makes my breathing deepen and my heart race. As I run, I ignore calls through the mind link from David, presumably trying to ask me if I'm ok. I feel a little guilty when I also choose to ignore Ellie too, but I don't feel anything when I ignore my mother's insistent calling. After she tries a hundred times to open the link, she finally stops pestering me.

I don't know how long I run through the wooded trees, but the wind rushing through my fur is exactly what I needed to calm my frayed nerves.

I steer myself back towards pack territory as I notice the sun dipping dangerously low in the sky, but my stomach growls in protest from my extended run. I know I'll need to replenish the calories I burned if I want to keep my weight up. After my growth spurt last year, I finally passed my father in height and now we are even similar weights, as both wolves and humans. Overall, I'm pleased with the progress I've made this summer and I don't want to backslide with too much aerobics.

I let my instincts take over as I reach the perimeter of our territory. I pick up on the scent of a deer nearby and slow to trail the prey. Alone in the woods, I am an apex predator. Other werewolves may surpass my omegan strength and speed, but I am blessed with other talents. Better hearing, smell, and awareness. My leaner body doesn't smash through the forest. I stalk.

When the deer pauses to eat a patch of berries, I approach stealthily for the kill. My powerful legs propel me into the air as I close the distance suddenly, sinking my jaws into the soft meaty flesh. I don't particularly enjoy eating meat raw, unlike some wolves, but if I showed up with it back home, Mom might have a conniption. Omegas shouldn't hunt. I breathe in deeply, shoving down my revulsion, preparing to tear into my dinner, but then... I pick up the faint scent of lavender mixed with rain.

Picking up the dead animal in my maw, I follow my nose through the forest to where our territory meets the border of the coven lands. He's there, in a clearing filled with wildflowers, laying flat on his back with his eyes closed.

I lie down as quietly as possible, gingerly setting down the deer. Resting my head on my haunches, I listen to his steady breathing and heartbeat. He looks so peaceful, sleeping there in the sun, the light reflecting off his many piercings and rings.

"I know you're there, stalker," he says suddenly. If I could blush as a wolf, I would, embarrassed to have been caught. "You know…" he drawls, not even looking my way. "I came here to escape all the noise, but I guess it's not so bad while you're in that form. I can barely hear anything."

I have no idea what he's talking about and I'm still a little irritated by his confusing behavior today, but those concerns are dim in my mind, pushed to the back by my wolf instincts telling me to get closer to this beautiful boy. Plus his tone is so rich and inviting. I risk scooting a little closer, staying low on my stomach.

"You know, the other members of the coven always talk about feeling this connection to nature. Like this soft whispering voice that calls to them all the time. But, for me, I can hardly ever hear it. Everything else is just too loud." He sounds sad as he talks. "Music helps give me something else to focus on, but even then… Someone else always wants to listen, to judge and those thoughts are the loudest. But here. In this glade. I can feel the connection. I can hear it."

I've slowly been inching towards him as he spoke. His voice draws me in until I am practically lying next to him on the bed of wildflowers. Why is it so loud? I want to ask him.

"Because I'm a telepath," he answers. I blink.

Can he hear my thoughts?

"Yes, that's what being a telepath means." He laughs lightly, meeting my gaze for the first time, his eyes a gentle lavender color. "Although it's more difficult when you're in that form. Your thoughts are… muddled."

I knew what he meant. Transformed werewolves were still more intelligent than the average animal. We could strategize and plan attacks, but we were ruled by instinct more than in our human forms. I try to calm those instincts that are telling me right now to bury my muzzle in this boy's neck and concentrate on forming coherent thoughts. Can you hear everyone all the time? I try.

"No. The closer I am to someone the easier it is, whether that's physically or emotionally. I've lived with the coven all my life, so their thoughts are the only ones that are ever truly intrusive."

So, it's kind of like the pack link? I ask, thinking about the way the pack uses telepathy to communicate while in wolf form.

"Sort of, I guess. But as I understand it, the link is more like a phone call, where the person initiating the link needs permission from the one receiving before you can communicate, right?"

Right. And we need to be in wolf forms to both initiate and accept the link.

"Right. So, with most people I need to concentrate to hear what they're thinking, but with the coven… I need to concentrate in order to not hear them. Privacy isn't really an option, at least when I am within a couple miles of them."

A couple miles! I think, staggered by the range of his powers. Damn. He blushes slightly, his cheeks becoming an enchanting shade of pink, presumably from my praise. A thought suddenly occurs to me.

"Yes," he answers before the thought is even fully formed. "That's how I knew you liked me."

I suddenly feel extremely embarrassed, remembering everything I've ever thought about Alastair. "Stop!" he squawks, sitting up and flailing his arms. "Stop thinking!" He flushes, his blush deepening to red. "I said I needed to concentrate to hear you! I didn't— I haven't been… purposefully eavesdropping on your thoughts this entire time. Just…" He hesitates, appearing ashamed. "when you growled in precalculus yesterday… I wanted to know why. I thought I did something to upset you."

So, what about when you stopped Deron and the others?

"Oh, that's because I could hear them. Sorry I didn't get there sooner, by the way. I usually try to ignore those guys, so I didn't realize right away... That's why I told you to say my name if they ever try anything again. When anyone in the coven thinks about me, it usually gets my attention. Kind of like someone calling my name. So if you plant the idea in Deron's or any of the other's heads, I will know you're in trouble, even if I'm pretty far away."

Right. That makes sense… But, what—what about in the library or just now? You knew I was here both times, even though I thought I was being pretty quiet.

"That…" He trails off. "I'm not really sure…. With you… it's... weird. Ever since Monday, I feel like your consciousness is… closer to me somehow? Whenever you're near me, it feels like your mind is pressing on me."

Pressing?

"Yeah, like..." He pauses for a moment thinking. "Imagine how it feels when a member of your pack is trying to mind link with you while you're in human form. You know they are trying to get your attention, but you don't know what they're saying. It's kind of like that. Like, your mind is constantly calling to me. It's much easier to hear you than any of the others of your kind…" He trails off, uncertain for a moment. "Actually, you're the first transformed werewolf I've ever been able to hear."

This pleases me immensely; happy that for whatever reason, I seem to be special. Alastair's frowns instantly, his brows furrowing with worry. I want to wipe that worry away. Hey, it's ok. You said it's easier with people you have an emotional connection with, right? Maybe you just like me? I wiggle my eyebrows as best I can in wolf form, but Alastair just stares at me with eyes full of concern.

"That's what I'm worried about, Cameron."

My heart skips a beat.

I risk closing the distance between us, hesitating only momentarily before placing my head in his lap. I don't want to worry about that right now. Let's just enjoy the moment. I close my eyes as he lightly strokes my fur. We stay like that as the last bastions of summer sun drift below the horizon. His soft petting lulls me to sleep, the exhaustion from my extended run finally catching up to me.