New Normal

Alastair finally shows up in seventh period the following Monday. He is sitting in a different seat on the other end of the classroom. Did he ask for a seat reassignment? Somehow, the pain of him ignoring me cuts through everything else.

The pain multiplies when I notice him staring with blank, dead eyes out the window, his desk completely clear of his notebook or pens. All his piercings and rings are removed, and I don't think the tired look in his eyes can be attributed only to the lack of eyeliner.

Everyday he looks the same: zombified, devoid of any emotions. I want to comfort him so badly. I would give anything to see him smile again, but I have no idea what he really needs, and his mother's warning keeps ringing in my mind. Plus, my own mental health isn't the best right now, and I don't want to risk overwhelming him or hurting him more. Everytime I think about approaching him, I remember him yelling at me, "I can't deal with you right now!"

So, I pour all of my energy into volleyball, runs, and school work. For once in my life I'm acing not only math and science, but also English and history. I hunt everyday, but I never can bring myself to finish the kill, and I hardly eat at home. I know I'm losing weight, but I can't bring myself to care.

I continue fighting with my parents almost every night, and my relationship with my sister remains tense. We barely exchange more than a few words to each other every day, most of our interactions limited to volleyball practice. I know she feels guilty, and so do I, but we are giving each other space.

Taylor keeps me from being completely antisocial by driving me to school every morning and passing me silly notes in history, but he still eats lunch with my sister and the rest of the pack. A few humans try to approach me when they notice me sitting alone, mostly girls. They all want to know what happened between me and "Davy", asking me if I'm single "for a friend". My death glare must be improving, because by the end of the first week, as soon as I turn my attention to my newest victim, another poor girl squeaks and runs away.

I try to avoid the rest of the pack. I'm not sure what lie the Alpha is spinning to keep the vultures away or if he even still wants me to mate with David, but I feel like I'm wearing a scarlet letter.

My existence has always unsettled others and despite my best efforts, I knew many of the older generation didn't think I acted "omegan" enough. But my betrothal to the future Alpha kept them from openly opposing me as the future Luna, instead choosing to "gently remind" me how a proper omega should behave. The younger generation didn't try to hide their open disdain for me, mocking me for not being "man" enough or calling me a freak, but at least they were kept at bay by the two protective dominants that used to constantly surround me. Still, I always knew everyone wanted me to conform into either one category or the other, uncomfortable by the strange middle ground I carefully walked.

Now that I'm refusing to conform, it's like I'm not even worth acknowledging. I am completely ignored and ostracized. While running home one evening after a particularly long jog, little Katie spots me. She jumps off the swing set, flying through the air, before landing on the ground in crouch. She runs towards me, excitedly.

"Cammy! Cammy!" The little werewolf buries her face into my fur. "Why don't you come to nursery on Saturdays anymore?" I can't tell her that I've been cleaning bathrooms for the last two Saturdays, so I just nuzzle her affectionately. "I miss you and Luce misses you!"

"Katie!" Mrs. Nolan calls. "Come here. Now." She shoots me a dirty look as Katie runs back to her. I pull away, but not before I hear her mother scolding her very loudly, telling her to stay away from me. The little girl protests about how she won't get any cake if she doesn't go to my wedding, and I catch something about the wedding being postponed, but I'm already tuning them out as I continue my jog home.

As the end of September approaches, the school is abuzz with homecoming plans, and the pack prepares for the monthly full moon celebration. The world around me moves on, and I slip into an uncomfortable new normal.