Two Steps Forward, One Step Back

Sometimes in life, my best intentions fail to translate into reality.

I have a heat-induced dream about that elusive bottom again. The dream man is hazy and nondescript, but I wake up thinking about Alastair anyways.

Sigh.

Starlight.

I'm determined to talk to him. Today. No more being afraid. No more being angry. I'm also going to talk to Taylor about his past. See how he is doing. Maybe I'll even try talking to Dad. I'll tell him that I worked things out with Davy and we are just friends now. Surely he will understand. And Alpha Edmund doesn't care about me mating Davy anymore. That's an unexpected, but welcome surprise. Maybe he would lift my ban on the pack gym if I went to talk with him.

I'm sure the only hold outs on this whole mating thing are my mother and Luna Esther. But if Davy, my dad, and the Alpha all agree to leave me alone, then they would be forced to drop the matter too. Right? I'm going to talk with him. Today. Maybe I'll even ask him about hunting down Ross. Our pack is strong. We have the resources to bring in one lone rogue, if only to help our allied coven. Right? Right.

When I go down to breakfast that morning, Mom is cooking scrambled eggs while Dad sips coffee and reads the newspaper. I steal my breath, bucking up my courage and say, "Good morning, Mom. That looks wonderful."

My mother gives me a wary side-eye as she scraps at the pan. "You seem like you are in a good mood this morning. Did you have a good talk with Davy last night?"

Here goes nothing. "Yes, actually. We—" Breathe Cam. "We agreed to just be friends."

She sets the frying pan on the granite counter in front of me with a loud clang. I don't meet her eyes as I load up a plate and then decide to pass it to Dad, before filling another one for me. "Thanks, bud," he says, blinking at me.

Ellie comes down the stairs and plops into the bar chair next to me. I smile at her and give her a half hug. "Hey sis. Have some breakfast." I pass her my plate full of food and then reach for a third one. But Mom has her hands blocking the stack. "Er… Can I get another plate, Mom?" I try to say innocently.

"Will, do you have nothing to say to your son?" Mom says instead of moving.

Dad sets down his coffee and stares into it for a moment. I wait, hopeful. It's been almost a month since my birthday. Sure, they've been expecting me to be Davy's mate since before I was born, but they can't actually punish me for refusing forever. Can they?

"Cameron, I'm afraid maybe your mother and I have coddled you too much."

No.

Not, Dad.

"Maybe it's your generation. Your grandfather built his own house after he mated at sixteen and I was providing for your mother as soon as I graduated high school. Alpha Edmund took over the pack at only eighteen. In our day, it was normal to accept responsibility at a young age. We thought we had prepared you to do the same, but now the Alpha is doubting whether you will ever be ready to be the Luna."

I can't stop the tears flowing down my cheeks. It's stupid. I never wanted to be the Luna. Maybe a part of me hoped I would be good at it, but since my birthday I have completely expunged that part of me. Still, Dad expressing disappointment in me is rare enough that it hurts. Even after a month of him passively agreeing with everything my mother said, it still hurts everytime he chooses to address me directly.

"Thankfully, Luna Esther doesn't agree with her husband," my mother continues. "We considered withdrawing you from school—"

I knock over the barstool as I stand up. "What?! You can't do that! It's illegal!" Right?

"Calm down, Cam." Dad places a hand on my shoulder. "We aren't going to remove you from school."

"Yet," Mom tags on. "Luna Esther has agreed to take you under her wing. You will be spending every afternoon with her, learning about your future responsibilities."

"No, I won't do it! This is ridiculous."

"Yes, you will, or we will remove you from school, and you will spend all day working with her."

I turn to Dad. "Why are you doing this? Why are you agreeing with her?"

He doesn't answer.

"It's time we smooth out those rough edges and you learn your place, Cameron," Mom says instead. "Even if you've botched your path to becoming the Luna, you will learn how to work and what it means to be an omega." Her words sting.

"Dad, please," I beg.

"If you agree to be tutored by the Luna, we have agreed to lift the ban on the pack gym." That's it. Like some good cop, bad cop scenario, he tries to bribe me into behaving.

"Cam, uh…" Ellie looks nervously between me and Mom. "Davy texted. Do you— do you want to ride with us?"

"Yeah, sure, whatever." I shovel the rest of my eggs into my mouth and grab my backpack.

"I'll pick you up after school at 3pm sharp, so don't run home again," Mom calls as I head to the door.

"Whatever." I grumble. I still haven't decided what I'm going to do.

As Ellie and I walk towards Davy's familiar Tesla, I suddenly remember my plans to talk with Taylor during our ride. His blue pickup is pulling into our drive and he is beaming at me with his classic fish-eating grin.

I motion for him to join us as I shout out, "Hey, I'm going to ride with Davy and Ellie. Want to save the planet and carpool?"

"Are you trying to say something about the fuel economy of my baby?" Taylor clutches his chest in mock indignation, but steps out of his car anyways.

I smirk. "Yes."

"But— But I love driving!" he pouts.

"I've got an idea!" Ellie cuts in. "You drive the Tesla, Davy sit in the front, and then Cam and I can conspire together in the back."

"Well now I just feel left out. What are you conspiring about without us?"

"If I told you, then I'd have to kill you."

"If you crash my car, I'll kill you," David threatens as he tosses Taylor the keys.

Welp. There goes all my plans to have a serious conversation with Taylor. But, all of us riding together to school, it reminds me of last year, before Taylor bought his truck, saying he was tired of always being squished in the backseat. David insisted I ride shotgun. Every. Time. I thought Taylor was being a bit juvenile by insisting he drive separately, but after my last growth spurt I'm almost as tall as him and now I get what he is talking about the backseat being small. Oh well. Being with all my friends again is worth it, and I'm determined to salvage the rest of this day.

As we turn onto the familiar forest road, Ellie leans close to me to whisper directly in my ear. She even cups her hands around her mouth in the hopes that we aren't overheard by the werewolves in the front, but they don't seem to be paying attention to us, with Taylor already rambling about this hot girl he got the number of at the last sweet sixteen party. Guess I missed that one. Thank goddess.

"I might have a plan," she whispers.

My ears perk up, interested.

"I've been thinking a lot about it, but it— it might not work."

I nod, listening intently.

"Just play along with what Mom wants for right now."

I groan.

"Don't worry. I have a feeling everything's going to work out."

I can't find Alastair in the library practice rooms or the chalk graveyard. I take deep breaths, trying to pick up his lavender scent as I wander the halls. Every once in a while, I think I smell a whiff of him, but when I try to follow, it is quickly swallowed up by the sea of other smells: humans, werewolves, witches, and a few other supernaturals among the students and teachers.

I reluctantly give up my search as I trudge to lunch and join the pack at my old table. There is an awkward moment when Davy bends down to kiss me, before remembering we aren't together and quickly backing away. Tiffany has migrated her human friends to our table and Ellie seems to have invited Jayla from volleyball to join us as well in my absence.

I am not very interested in their gossip, so I try striking up conversation with Oscar when Ashley is distracted by the girls' conversation. It's a little difficult, because Oscar is on the quieter side. He never elaborates on any of his answers to my questions or follows them up with questions of his own. However, I'm able to learn through persistent prodding that he plans to drop out of school before senior year to work in construction, because Ashley is expecting their first child.

Maybe I haven't hung out with enough mated werewolves, but the thought of having a kid at my age is… terrifying. Of course, growing up, I always knew there was a possibility I could be a parent before seventeen, but that always seemed like a distant eventuality. Seventeen was ancient. Now, it strikes me that humans and even other supernaturals would think we are all a bit cultish for marrying and having babies so young. I try to be supportive of Oscar's choices, but it's really weird to think, "That could have been me."

During precalc, I try to catch Alastair's eyes, but he looks just as zoned out and zombified as everyday before. Maybe even a little worse. I follow him out of the class when the bell rings and grab his wrist.

"Wait, Alastair."

He jerks his arm from my loose grip, briefly turns his dead gaze on me, and then merges into the gathering crowd in the hallways, hurrying away from me.

Maybe he needs more time.