Heartbreak Anniversary

"Aren't you meant to be in class young lady?"

I looked up to see my brother looking at me. He pulled out the chair in front of me and sat down.

He knew I was about to have a breakdown. One thing I loved about my brother was that he understood that I didn't find it easy to talk about my problems. He learnt that the hard way when our father died. I threw a plate of soup on him when he came into my room hours after my father's burial. He was the only true family I had left. He always understood me. Dad said it was because we didn't have that much of an age gap between us. I sometimes believed that. The other times, I believed that it was because he loved me unconditionally. Sometimes, his attitude made me think different. I sometimes think he loves May more. Never really told anyone that before because they may think I'm jealous of their relationship but I'm not. I'm jealous of the fact that he cares more about her than me. He does more things for May in a day than he can do for me in a year. I hate that he doesn't love me anymore. Sometimes.

"Do you know that you look prettier when you cry?", this statement made me laugh."

I looked at my brother to see a sad smile on his face. He definitely knew something was wrong.

"What's wrong my snow?", he asked. I hadn't heard that nickname since I was nine.

"I'm just having a shitty day."

"Does it have anything to do with Julian?"

"Mostly. But, everyone's part of the problem. It just hurts being surrounded by people who remind you of what you had. Especially May. You love her more than anyone. Including me. And it hurts. Really bad. Everyone is just so happy while my heart is hurting. But, I have to pretend to be happy so you don't have to worry about me. It is so hard pretending to be happy being back when all I wish to do is go back to where my problems are forgotten."

"Is that how we make you feel?"