Chapter 9

TW: Mentions of rape

'Why would I be crying? Why does my heart hurt this much? Why can't I breathe?' All these questions kept circling my head as tears came down my face.

"This is stupid. He's lying." I took a big sniff after saying that sentence out loud and took my glasses of and cleaned up and put them back on. After a while, I was sure I looked okay and my puffy eyes were looking okay. I put on a big smile and went out.

I sat down in my chair opposite Andy and started eating my ice cream which had started melting. I licked it a little bit and looked at him, making eye contact.

"Had to rush yo the ladies room real quick. What did you say?" Deep down, I wished he wouldn't repeat his sentence.

"I know you heard me, Lia, but I knew that would be your reaction," he gave a low awkward laugh and breathed in a mouthful of air then leaned back in his chair, his eyes never leaving mine.

"I-I....Uh, umm, I..." my awkward sentence couldn't even make sense because I had indeed heard him and he knew it. The pain was visible in his eyes, making me even more guilty.

"You know what, just think about it," he smiled a minute later, "eat up. it may start raining."

He pushed his ice cream my way and laughed at my surprised and excited reaction and for once all was forgotten.

But I knew that was not the end of this whole issue.

After reaching the hostel, I felt like it was still too early to start doing school stuff and I suggested a movie night with some friends at the boys hostel and they accepted. We all grabbed our blankets, except Jean because she was going to use Albert's blanket, who was Andy's roommate.

I sat next to Andy when watching the movie, leaning on his shoulder, something I knew I shouldn't be doing to a guy I knew had feeling for me and one who I wasn't sure what I felt for. With all my willpower, I tried focusing on the movie and not letting my mind waver. The movie was 'Army of the Dead' which made us laugh at some times and we even watched a second movie. Soon after, we called it a night and all went to sleep.

After reaching my room and laying on my bed, I made sure to pop some pills for a good's night sleep while Jean had slept at Albert's room.

Before I slept, all that was repeating in my head were Andy’s words and my minibreak down.

I noticed the dark lighting and looked up. I did not know where I was but as far as my eyes could see, I saw I was in a room somewhere I did not know. I noticed a shadow looming over me and when I tried to turn around, I felt strong masculine hands around my waist, pulling me close to his body. Standing shocked, I tried to pull away but nothing happened. I smelled an unfamiliar cologne which was entirely different from his cologne.

That’s when I knew that my body couldn’t move. One hand clammed my mouth shut and the other hand started moving, groping my body. Tears started rolling down my face as I knew what was happening. I was pushed down onto the bed which I hadn’t seen there before and I felt his body pushing down on me.

That’s when I found my voice, “stop…let me go stop it.”

But all my cries fell on deaf ears. “No, stop…”

That’s when I felt one hand grab my hands above my head and the other grabbed my shirt, pulling it up.

“Shhh…it’ll be over soon.” The person spoke in a deep voice, which I hate to admit, sounded arousing.

My body started heating up quickly and tears rolled down my cheeks as I tried fighting back but I couldn’t muster up enough strength.

I jolted up as I heard my name being called but my mind was in a frenzy. My body felt hot and I needed water. I stood up and headed for the door and opening it, I knew someone was out there. Breathing hard and sweating profusely, I stumbled past the person. I felt hands on my elbow and I heard Jean’s voice sounding confused.

“Lia, are you ok?”

I flinched and pulled my arm, “Don’t touch me!”

That made the heat even worse and I half run half staggered to the bathroom stall and opened the shower. Next thing I knew, there was darkness.

I opened my eyes to another place, one I knew too well. It’s the same hotel room. I was lying on the bed, breathing fast and the heat was getting worse. I tried standing up and that’s when I felt hands push me down on the bed and this time, it was him. He pinned my hands above my head and bent down and kissed me. I started thrashing around and that made him even more violent. He propped his body on top of me and whispered in my ear, “your mine.”

I thrashed around and tears blurred my vision. I could feel hands holding me down and someone calling my name.

“Stop! Leave me alone…” my voice was barely audible. His one hand started touching my body all over.

I continued fighting him but I knew that I wouldn’t win, he was more powerful than me and my strength was getting depleted. The heat intensified and my labored breathing was making it had to stay awake.

“No, stop…” I cried out in a whimpering voice, “help,” then I lost consciousness.