20.) Second Day in Dillard Pt. 1

Kaya woke to the sound of clanging dishes in the kitchen, a foul burnt smell coming to her nose next. She stood and placed her glasses on her face before making her way out to the kitchen to see what was going on. Toru stood in front of the trash, his face one of defeat as tried to scrape burned eggs into the can. "Morning Toru." Kaya spoke with a slight hint of concern in her tone.

Toru turned to look at her and gave a guilty look. "Hmm, never seen you actually put your glasses on." He commented upon seeing her. Kaya chuckled and shook her head. "No time to put in my contacts. It sounded like you were having some trouble in here. Watcha doing?" She asked innocently. "Um, failing at making breakfast." He answered sheepishly. Kaya giggled at him and made her way more into the kitchen, pulling out a new pan.

Kaya placed the pan on the stove, happy to see he at least turned off all the burners before she turned to the fridge to get out some food. "You want sausage or bacon?" She asked. "Sausage I guess." Toru answered, with sadness in his voice. "Sounds good to me too. Maybe some biscuits as well." Kaya replied, pulling the ingredients from the fridge and placing them on the counter and turning her attention to Toru.

"Now, why don't you preheat the oven to 350 for me. I still need to use the restroom real quick so I'll be back in a minute and we can make breakfast together." She told him, walking away before he could respond. "Preheat the oven. I can do that much at least I guess." He muttered to himself, moving to the oven and turning it on, watching the timer automatically place 6 minutes as the time needed for it to reach that temperature.

When Kaya came back out, her hair was placed in a tight bun, her glasses still on, and a smile on her face. "So um, just a bad experience this morning, or do you not really cook?" She asked, looking up at Toru thinking how cute he was with his hands behind his back, looking off to the side with his guilt. "I um, I can make a mean frozen pizza." He bragged, receiving a hearty laugh from Kaya as a response.

"Breakfast is a good place to start with learning. A lot less going on than with other dishes most of the time." She told him, just as the oven beeped. She smiled at Toru and picked up the can of biscuits. "Have you ever opened one of these?" She asked. "I haven't." He admitted plainly, looking at her and being thankful she wasn't judging him for being a grown man who didn't know how to cook.

Kaya nodded and made a show of placing the biscuit can against the counter at an angle. "Tear off the outer paper, then bang it against the counter like that." She told him, watching his bewildered face and giggling. Toru took the can from her and did as she instructed, jumping a little when he heard the can break open and felt it expand in his hand. The two then placed them in a baking pan Kaya sprayed with olive oil while Toru was opening the can and placed them in the oven.

Kaya set the timer, then placed a pan on the stovetop and turned it on, allowing the pan to heat as she opened the sausage. "It's better to start with a hot pan, but you can put the meat in cold if you're in a rush or multitasking." She told Toru, his smile soft as he watched her. "I wanted to feed you for once." He told her. Something in his tone made Kaya's breath hitch in her throat, making her need a minute before she could answer.

"You buy me food all the time. That is feeding me." She told him. "Yeah, but I've never made you anything. To prepare a meal for someone is to love and care for them." He told her, stepping a little closer and making eye contact with her. "Last night you said you hope that I feel how much you care for me and it made me think of all the delicious food of yours I've had. How you make tea and creamer just for me. I wanted to have you feel what I feel when you do those things." He whispered.

Kaya swallowed hard, looking up into his brown eyes. "It's ok if we do different things. You have the things you're good at, and I have the ones I'm good at." Kaya tried to soothe, despite her voice being a little shaky. "I'm not good at anything." Toru pouted. Kaya shook her head at him, "I've heard all about how great you are at volleyball." Kaya told him.

Toru sighed and shook his head. "I meant I'm not good at anything that can show you I care. Anyone can open doors and move chairs." He retorted, causing Kaya to place her hand on his forearm and rub it soothingly. "There's more to you than that. Besides, even the fact you wanted to at least try when you know you have no idea what you're doing says a lot. You're overthinking it, Toru. I'm telling you I know how much you care about me, so we're good." She told him.

Toru moved his arm from under her hand and caught both of her hands into his, pulling her to him and leaving barely an inch of space between them. "Do you Kaya? Do you know what it is I feel for you?" He asked in a hushed tone. Her face reddened deeply and she took a step away from him, causing Toru to let go of her and take two steps back. "Shit, I'm sorry. I wasn't thinking. I shouldn't have gotten so close. I shouldn't have handled you that way." He apologized with a pleading tone.

Kaya shook her head, trying to catch her breath. "No, it's fine. I know you won't hurt me. I was just caught off guard." She replied, moving the sausage to the preheated pan and placing a lid on top. "Scrambled eggs ok?" She asked him, not meeting his face and her cheeks still pink. "Yeah, that sounds good to me." Toru answered, trying to sound normal while mentally punching himself. Kaya nodded and cracked several eggs into a bowl then handed it to Toru and told him to mix them well while she flipped the sausage.

Toru mixed the eggs while having a mental talk with himself. Telling him to pull it together, that he was only imagining things when he thought maybe she seemed like she was interested in more than friendship and he should most definitely NOT tell her that he loves her nor hint to it and to just have a nice weekend with her and be happy for what he gets. He hated how he sometimes couldn't just leave well enough alone, especially when he truly wanted something, but he knew he couldn't just make Kaya love him back.

The two finish making breakfast and sit to eat, not speaking much, both lost in their own thoughts. After finishing breakfast, Toru insisted on at least washing the dishes, telling Kaya to go and get ready for their horseback riding tour. Toru made quick work of cleaning up the kitchen then heading upstairs to shower and get ready for the day. Making his way back downstairs he stopped halfway, seeing Kaya staring at him with her mouth open.

"What?" He asked, wondering if there was a string hanging off somewhere. "I just, I've never seen you wear jeans before. I was surprised." Kaya responded, moving her eyes away from him. "I just think that jeans are the best thing to wear when riding horses." Toru replied, making his way to the bottom floor. "They look really nice on you." Kaya told him with her ears tinted pink.

Toru looked her over as well, a pair of straight leg jeans with knee high black leather boots and her black pea coat from the night of the concert on. "You look cute and ready to go riding." Toru told her with a slightly nervous smile. "I'm actually kind of excited, I've never been close to a real horse before. I mean I pet some ponies as a kid, but never a real horse." Kaya told him, her smile showing she was a bit nervous.

The two made their way outside and to the car, driving to the stables to prepare to go riding. At the stables Toru's eyes widened as he came face to face with one of the horses the staff were walking out of the barn. When Kaya's back bumped into the front of him he looked down and realized she was freaked out by the horse as well and took a deep breath, burying his fear.

"It's ok Kaya. Horses are nice, and these ones are trained and used to people. If anything let's at least look at them, if you're too scared to ride though, we can just find something else to do for the next couple of hours." He soothed, rubbing her upper arm. Kaya nodded her head silently, staring at the giant horse before her. "Toru, it's taller than you." She whispered, causing Toru to look back up and feel the panic returning.

"Well, we can try to find you a smaller horse." He replied in a high pitched tone. "Hey there, either of you ever ride before?" an instructor asked from behind them. "No." Kaya breathed out. "Never." Toru answered, looking at the source of the voice.

"Well that's ok. We have plenty of horses that are used to beginners and we can go over the basics. This isn't an intense ride or anything, so there isn't much to learn, just a few rounds around the ring here should be enough before we head out." He replied, stepping closer to Kaya.

Toru glared at the man as he reached his hand over Kaya's head, holding it mere centimeters above, nearly touching her. "Man, I've seen newborn foal bigger than you." He chuckled. "Let me go bring out Sally, she's our gentlest girl, and she's not as tall as some of the others." He told her, turning to walk away, never having seen the glare coming from the over six foot tall man standing behind Kaya.

"He seems friendly." Toru sneered, causing Kaya to turn and look at him. "You ok?" Kaya asked. "I don't like him making fun of you just because you're vertically challenged." Toru replied, making Kaya laugh. "How many times have you called me something like Tinker Bell because I'm short?" She retorted. "Yeah, but I say it from a place of love. He doesn't know you. He's not your friend." Toru replied.

Kaya shook her head at Toru and went to say something when she heard the voice of the trainer again. "Here she is. Sorry, I didn't catch your name before Miss." The trainer said, watching Kaya's mouth gape open at the white horse with black speckles. "It's Kaya." She answered in a squeak. "Sally, this here's Kaya. Kaya, this is our best girl Sally. Need a hand getting up?" He asked. Kaya took a small step backwards, trying not to panic.

"What about Toru? He needs a horse too." She deflected. The man looked over at Toru and saw his glare for the first time. "The other riders on the list for today all put down that they have experience, there's four trainers today, so I'm letting someone else help your um, brother?" He asked. Toru gritted his teeth, a loud sucking sound coming from him. "I'm not her brother. We look nothing alike." He seethed.

The trainer laughed, his head falling back. "Sorry, you just seemed protective like an older brother. Couples are usually holding hands and being all lovey so I guessed wrong." He told them. "Don't worry, I'm not trying to steal your girlfriend away." The trainer told Toru firmly. Kaya went to correct him, but fell short when Toru shoved her a little. "Good, because I wouldn't take kindly to that." Toru replied haughtily.

Kaya looked at Toru with slightly widened eyes, her cheeks slightly pink. Toru caught her glance and gave her a pleading look, unsure as to why he wanted to deceive the trainer, but not wanting to let him down she just nodded and said nothing. "So, do you need a hand up Kaya?" He asked again. Kaya looked back over at him, then the horse, her voice seeming unable to come out. "If you like you could pet her first, might help calm your nerves." He suggested.

Kaya nodded happily at the suggestion then made her way over to the horse slowly. She put her hand out in front of her and made contact just above the part of Sally's nose that wasn't covered in fur. "Ok. So she's like a dog. A giant, could stomp me to death, dog." She let out shakily. "Nah, Sally's real gentle. Won't hurt you at all." The trainer insisted. Kaya turned back around and saw Toru watching her from the spot she left him in.

"You wanna pet her too?" Kaya asked. He swallowed hard and made his way to her side, doing his best to exude confidence as he did so. "She's a cute horse." He said, putting his hand up and the both of them jumping up and letting out a squeal when she snorted. "Don't tell me you're afraid of a horse Toru." The instructor laughed. "I'm not afraid of anything. I just didn't expect Kaya to scream." He reasoned.

"These the newbies?" Another trainer asked. "Yeah I've got Kaya here. You can help her boyfriend. His name's Toru." The man holding onto Sally's reign told the woman of about 40. "Come on Toru, let's find you a horse." She answered, taking him into the stables. The two walked along looking at the horses, Toru trying to calm his nerves and feel as confident as he would in any other situation.

The woman helped him to find a nice white and brown horse named Toby, Toru tentatively pet the horse, taking a deep breath as he did so. "Toru, are you ok?" The woman asked, making him turn his attention to her. "Yeah, just a little anxious about leaving Kaya with that flirty trainer." He told her with a huff. The woman laughed at him. "You're more Kaito's type than her, so maybe worry about yourself, pretty boy." She told him, Toru's heart calmed to hear this.

When Toru emerged from the barn he was sitting atop Toby, a fake confident smile on his face as he made eye contact with a somewhat worried looking Kaya sitting on Sally going around the ring near the stables. "Good, now gently pull the reins back." Kaito instructed, praising Kaya when she did as he told her and Sally stopped. "What do you think then?" He asked. "It's not so bad." Kaya smiled, looking down at the horse she was sitting atop of. "Toru, come do a couple circles." She called, smiling and waving at him.

"Lucky girl. Wish I had someone to look at me like that." His trainer observed from next to him. "Maybe don't tell her that. I got her to go along with the 'couple' thing in front of Kaito earlier, not wanting him to hit on her, but we're just friends." Toru admitted. "Oh you poor man. Unrequited love is the literal worst." She empathized. "It sucks a little, but she loves me as a friend and I'm thankful for that much, all things considered. She used to hate my guts actually." He laughed.

"Take it you don't want me to tell her you cried getting on the horse either." She asked teasingly. "I will give you $500 cash to never mention it again." Toru replied, causing the woman to laugh until she saw his face. "You're dead serious. Geez Daddy Warbucks. What do you do for a living?" She asked. "It doesn't really matter. I brought lots of cash for the trip unsure what all we would get into, but it seems like Kaya mostly wants to hang around here. So other than this tour and eating at the restaurant we aren't spending anymore." He told her.

The woman shook her head. "While we could all do with a little extra money, I don't want to get fired either. This feels like a bribe. But don't worry, your secret is safe with me." She soothed. Toru nodded, holding tighter to the reins as she got Toby to move again, guiding him towards the ring. After a few rounds and listening to the instructions he was given, Toru learned how to get Toby to turn, go faster, slower, and stop.

Everyone else soon came out ready to go on the tour, Kaya brought Sally up next to Toby and Toru, giving Toru a smile. "I can't believe I was so scared at first. This is actually kind of fun. And the horses are so nice." She told him cheerily. Toru just nodded and looked down, wondering how someone so used to being even closer to the ground was ok with being so high up and at the mercy of being thrown by a giant animal. "Yeah, fun." He said.

As they rode with the group through the hills and fields, Kaya noticed that Toru still seemed pretty unsure riding. While she wasn't completely confident with the horse, she was still a lot more relaxed than he was. Kaya thought some of the panicked faces he made were both hilarious and cute. She added it to her mental list of things he's done now for her sake more than his own.

It made her think of their conversation that morning and she couldn't understand how he thought she maybe didn't see how much he cared for her. She knew that she quickly became one of his closest friends and that he valued the people close to him. She was grateful for it all, and had no question in her mind that she was important to him or how much she meant to him. However, she was starting to wonder just how much he meant to her.

She'd admitted it to herself after Thanksgiving that she was attracted to him. It was pretty easy to tell, that's why she would blush so easily, even more so when he pretended to be flirting with her. But ever since having dinner with her mom and Mina last week she can't ever seem to get him off her mind.

She finds herself thinking over the little things he does and how she feels when he does them. The way her heart races when he comes close to her or makes eye contact. How it also breaks each time she sees him being sad or saying something negative about himself. She's come to realize that she hates the way it feels when they are apart, often lying in bed at night wishing she could just speak to him.

Sitting on her horse and watching the countryside go by, she found herself trying to compare the feelings she's having to other times in her life to help define them. It wasn't like when she had a crush back in middle or high school, this feeling wasn't obsessive with no real information on the person. And it wasn't like with Kenji, at least not towards the end of the relationship. Or even the middle for that matter.

In her time alone to think she recalled when things in the relationship seemed to start to change. At first Kenji was a lot nicer to her, it wasn't until a few weeks after she'd finally had sex with him that he'd started to critique her body or the way she looked in something. And it wasn't until he moved away for work that he started to be more jealous. He'd always been a little jealous at times, but after he moved even the mention of a guy's name would often set him off.

No, in the beginning things were good with them. Or at least on her end, she had thought about it looking back that it did almost seem like he just kind of accepted her because she was so into him. That was a mistake she never wanted to make again, to put more effort in than the other person. Her only wish now was that she'd seen her desire not to get married as quickly or to move away as the sign that she didn't love him like she used to rather than being stubborn and convincing herself nothing had changed.

She sighed and looked over at Toru, his eyes trained mistrustfully on Toby and his mouth in a pout. "Having fun?" She asked cheerfully, knowing he was trying to hide his fear of the horses. "Yeah, this is really relaxing and nice." He told her with one of his bright pretend smiles. She hadn't seen him use a fake smile in awhile, so she frowned a little to see it, then smiled again after thinking of how he was using it to hide his fear and wanting her to have a good time.

At the end of the ride, Toru watched several others getting off their horses, eager to get down, but unsure himself how to do it. When his feet hit the ground he said a silent thank you before looking back up at Kaya. Her face was full of uncertainty and he swallowed his fear and walked over next to Sally. "Here, I'll give you a hand." He offers, looking up at her.

Kaya smiles at him and takes his hand, kicking her leg over the side and then trying to slide down the side of the horse where Toru is. She slips and nearly falls, Toru's hands catching her at the waist and taking her body weight onto his own body, causing Kaya to slide down him.

Both were read in the face by the time her feet hit the ground, neither looking at the other or saying anything for a long moment. "So um, shower then lunch?" Kaya asked. "Perfect." Toru lets out, moving to head towards the car.