November 23rd, 2018
Collège de St. Cyr
Sagittarius Hall
Moon in Gemini - Full Moon
I sit staring at the damn envelope like it's a living thing. A scorpion or a snake waiting to pounce the moment I reach out for it. It's been over three weeks since I did that blood test and I still haven't gathered the guts to check the results. The fear of what I'll find has become too close to reality, my mind has already settled on the outcome, so why don't I read it? Because it'll make it real? Because then, it'll be set in stone and I won't be able to run from it. I won't be able to pretend I don't know, I'll be forced to face it and decide what to do.
And I really don't want to make any decisions right now.