Chapter 3

The seconds rolled by and I still wasn't saying anything. Sonia was holding something in her hand, a stone of some sorts. Earlier on she placed an empty cup on the wooden table that was now steaming with strong magic. The smell of rosemary and other rare herbs wafted through the cave.

I couldn't believe that I just had to drink it and the whole problem would go away in a heartbeat. This wasn't something that I anticipated. Sonia's eyes were penetrating, and she was seeing through me, seeing that deep down I wasn't sure if I was ready.

Back in London everyone that had ever known me understood that not many things could break me. I had worked for royals, I had protected them, and now I was just about to fall apart.

"There is a formula that you have to whisper while you drink it," Sonia added, dropping the stone into her pocket. Ronan was aware that I was undecided. He released some calming vibes towards me, telling me that I could go back to normal as soon as I drank the potion. He obviously wanted me to go ahead with this abortion.

The prince and I were done, so I had nothing to worry about, and I couldn't be a hundred percent sure if the child was his.

"And that's it? What will happen to the fetus?" I asked stupidly already knowing the answer. Deep down I still needed to absorb all the details. Going through pros and cons didn't give me any confidence. I had to save myself, and giving birth to this baby could send the whole of hell into havoc.

And if the child was Arthur's, my future was shaky at best. Sleeping with a royal wasn't a crime, but creating a half-blooded royal could cause a lot of problems to authorities in hell.

Sonia shifted her weight to the side and pursed her lips. Obviously she didn't like that I was hesitating. I wished that I'd brought a strong drink with me. Ronan came here with me, introduced me to this woman. That one drink could make me normal again, so what was I waiting for?

"The magic will destroy the fetus, you will throw up a few times, possibly bleed too, but tomorrow morning you won't be pregnant," she informed me, then went to the table and picked up the drink for me.

This time I took the cup, feeling violent magic scorching through me instantly. The potion was powerful.

I thought about Arthur once again. We had talked about children, and I knew that at some point he wanted to be a father. Maybe in different circumstances we could have created a real family, but I had to remember that as long as he was a prince this was impossible.

I held on to the magic, squeezing the cup harder. The time stretched, and my thoughts started racing again. This was simple, but the pain was greater. It spread everywhere, burning me like a fresh wound.

The energies stirred inside me and I wished that I could be somewhere else.

"Right, I don't think your girl is ready to get rid of this child, Ronan, and you know how much I hate wasting my time," Sonia barked, taking a step towards me.

Tears welled in my eyes, but I refused to cry in front of them. What the hell was wrong with me? I came here to kill the creature that would have a tough life anyway, but I just couldn't go through with it.

All the tiny voices in my head were screaming at me that there was no other way, that from now on I would have to keep living with this secret forever.

"Maxine, I thought you decided, that you had gone through your pros and cons?" Ronan asked, sounding angry all of a sudden. I clenched my teeth, knowing that he genuinely wanted to help me, but right then I couldn't pull myself together.

I finally lifted my head, swallowing the tears away, and placed my hand on my stomach.

"I can't do this. I'm sorry, but this child will have to be born," I stated, knowing that it was my sacrifice. Ronan and Sonia most likely thought that I was stupid, but I wasn't ready to become a monster. Arthur would remain my long-lost love, forever.

"A weak soul. Mongrel children are very challenging, dear, so you really have to think about this. And please don't think that father will help you in any way. Human men aren't ready for that kind of news," Sonia stated and Ronan narrowed his eyes at her, like he disapproved of what she said.

"Maxine is not quite sure who fathered her child," Ronan said.

"Well, you might sense it later on. As the fetus becomes more active, the mother can glimpse memories from the past," Sonia explained, sounding bored. It was obvious that she never had kids. She seemed cold and detached.

My head hurt as memories about Arthur resurfaced. Now I had to come up with a new plan. After all, I wanted to keep this child, not even knowing if I was capable of raising it.

I had to get out of here and speak to Ricky. There was no way that I could get back to London, unless ...

"Just a word of advice," Sonia interrupted my train of thought.

"Yes?" I asked, realising that either way I needed to stay with Ronan for another eight months and a bit.

"Stop thinking that it might work out with the human. They are the weak link within demonic society. You're on your own. The sooner you realise that, the stronger you will become."

"Thanks, I'll keep that in mind," I added, then turned around ready to disappear. I didn't wait for Ronan. He had to respect my decision and let me get on with it. We were friends, and he was ready to help me earlier on. I left the cave, moving through the rocky shore, petrified that now everything could turn against me.

Was I weak?

Maybe, but I couldn't go through with this abortion.

I couldn't become a woman that was too scared to face the consequences of unprotected sex. It was then or never, and I chose to risk everything for someone that wasn't even born yet.

When I came back to the cottage it was just after one in the morning. Ronan had chosen to stay with Sonia. They obviously had other matters to discuss, and their relationship was none of my business. I went over everything, and I told myself that I had made my choice. I had options, but instead of thinking about what was next, I took my phone and dialled Ricky's number.

"Wow, Maxine, I thought you said that you wouldn't be in touch? Is everything okay?" he asked as soon as he answered the phone.

I took a deep breath and squeezed my phone, cutting the blood circulation to my fingers. My throat felt tight, but I had to tell him everything. He was the only one that could understand what I was thinking.

"I tried to have an abortion, Rick. Ronan took me to this female demon, but I couldn't do it," I said, getting straight to the point. There was a silence on the other side of the phone.

"He talked you into it, didn't he?" Ricky asked throwing accusations straight away. My voice was lost, but I had to keep going and tell him exactly what I was planning.

"No. Ronan only did what I asked for. I was stupid, thought this would solve everything, but eventually I backed away," I told him. "That demon female

mentioned that I might figure out who the father is later when the baby will be more active."

"I've heard about it, but that won't change the fact that you're going to be a mother, Maxine. What if Arthur is the actual father of your child?"

I rubbed my forehead, wanting to stick to everything I planned to tell him. Yeah, I was following my emotions earlier on, made a rushed decision, but in the end the child had to have a good start in life.

"I will find someone that will take care of it, Ricky, possibly adoption. We both know that I'm not mother material. I can barely take care of myself."

"It's different now, but once you hold this creature in your arms your perspective will change. Don't jump hoop yet, Maxine, think about it," he muttered and I sensed that he wanted to say more, but he was hesitating.

"What's wrong, Ricky? Is it the business?" I pressed, really missing him and the agency. After I got fired from the palace we lost a lot of clients, but Ricky was smart. He could get everything back up and running in no time.

"Arthur came to my place a few times before he left for Afghanistan."

My heart made a happy dance in my chest, covering the fact that earlier on I was slowly dying, thinking that I would never see him again. The sudden pain came back like an arrow, piercing through my heart.

I didn't say anything, waiting for him to continue. There was probably more. Well, it looked like he cared a little.

"He wanted to know what happened to you. He got violent a few times," Ricky continued, sounding normal. He would never betray me or reveal my location. We

had an understanding, and I knew that I had to dismiss Arthur's efforts. He was far away right now, thousands of miles away in a foreign country. "The guy still loves you, and I don't know, maybe you should have tried talking to him."

I hated when Ricky got emotional.

"Don't try to make me feel better. We are done. My whole career is ruined. It's better this way," I insisted, remembering how humiliated I was standing in front of the Queen and her entourage.

"He showed up drunk, and hurt. For the first time I felt bad for the guy. He genuinely had no idea what happened."

My mind was spinning, but I kept telling myself that Ricky was wrong. Arthur knew that I got fired from my post. We were done fooling around and I had risked enough. It was time to stop thinking about that and concentrate on my unborn child.

"I don't care. This would never work anyway. Ricky, I'm staying here until I give birth. No one can know, do you understand?"

"Don't treat me like an idiot. You're like my family, Max, and I'm behind you a hundred percent," he added, like he was saying that he would help me take care of this child, but that was highly unlikely.

"I know that, but I'm scared and lost."

"Don't be. You're Maxine, the toughest and most unbreakable woman that I ever knew. You will be fine," Ricky said, pumping me with positivity. I smiled to the phone, thinking that this was what I needed. I hung up several minutes later, realising that he was right. I could do this. I could be a mother despite the odds.

***

Several weeks had passed since my conversation with Ricky, and I stayed hidden, not doing much at all. After some time I told myself that I had to show Ronan a bit more gratitude. He took me into his home while he tried carrying on with his own life, at the same time looking after all my needs. It was a big ask especially for someone who didn't like people very much.

It was odd being pregnant. I was sick all the time until the first trimester had finally passed. Every day I kept staring at my stomach, wondering what I would do when my due day arrived. My demonic energy shifted, and I had been lighting stuff up randomly pretty much all the time.

Being a half demon I couldn't go with the standard adoption, and on top of that I was stuck in this small village with no way of getting out. I was afraid of being recognised, even being as far away from London as possible.

Ronan kept shaking his head every time he looked at me. I was getting heavier and the months began disappearing, but my pain remained.

I still remembered when I felt the baby's movement for the first time. I was overjoyed with the fact that I didn't drink that potion.

My days were filled mostly with reading and staring out the window. Ronan asked me not to hang around in the village any longer, especially when I started showing. Everyone knew Ronan, he had a quite a reputation in the village, and he just didn't want people to talk.

It was two weeks later when I woke up late at night with the awareness that Watchers were close by. This never happened to me before, and I never thought that they could find me in a place like this, but five seconds later I was standing on my feet ready to run.

The baby was kicking continuously and the fear scorched through me instantly. It was clear that they had tracked me down and it was time for me to disappear.

Suddenly images of a man from my past assaulted my mind. In that moment I finally suspected the true identity of the baby's father.