She closed her eyes; her chest rose, she sighed deeply, the heart thumped loudly, pulling all the emotional strings together. Legs crossed, she sat in front of the mirror, hands resting on her lap.
The day she dreaded was finally here, the night that was to be remembered by every senior - she had to turn her back onto it. However, she could feel those disappointed eyes staring back at her crushing her heart in the palms of their hands.
She closed her eyes and sighed heavily. It was the day she was exhilarated about, the 21st anniversary of Ben and larry's cafe. The heavy scent of cocoa beans she had loved ever since she stepped in there. She could feel the heart aching. She didn't know whether it was the night she dreaded or the day she had been looking forward to. With a slight shake of her head, she stood up and walked out.
--
"Everything's set, right?" Jay asked, eyeing the coffee maker. He had been trying to make it work for two hours. Now he just glared at it and saw if it worked. Unfortunately, the coffee maker didn't even budge under his deathly stares.
"Balloons, check. Fairy lights, check. Polaroids, check. Frames, check." Madison ticked off everything on the paper, sat on the counter.
It was 8 am; the cafe was ready to be opened yet wasn't ready to serve coffee.
"Just bring in another coffee maker," Anna said when she saw Jay was about to throw off the coffee maker. He nodded and walked off to the supply closet. The manager was about to show up as it was the trend of Ben & Larry's for the manager to visit the cafe at the anniversary and celebrate it with the customers.
It had been going around for a long time, and people loved seeing the manager being all carefree with them.
Jay brought in the new coffee maker and replaced the one he had been glaring at with it. Maddison took a last look at the decoration as Anna hung the number 21st balloon in the middle of the wall.
"It's nearly perfect," She said. The black and golden balloons complimented the black and brown interior. The ribbons that hung loosely from the balloons at the top transformed this place into heaven, with a few balloons lying on the floor. The fairy lights hung on the brown coated wall making the polaroids clipped glow, giving the wall a whole new look. They had added a few more frames on the wall behind the counter.
"I will just stick this sticky note on the wall," Maddison said as she took one yellow heart and scribbled the words onto it. Anna's eyes suddenly moved towards the story wall. Unconsciously searching for the black heart, she had stuck that day. It wasn't where it belonged. The red heart stuck on the wall as pure as before, but blackheart wasn't there to give a different meaning to it. Trying to keep herself from tearing that note part, she diverted her eyes towards the note madison stuck on the wall.
"Happy 21st-anniversary, B&L! It's always an exciting day working here," - The team.
They all smiled reading it. Ben & Larry has been a second home to them; they had shared so much of their lives here. The crushed dreams, the hopeless love, the late-night exam preparation, and Jay seeking shelter here away from his crazy family. Anna had always felt at home with them, even the manager, as he visited Anna at the hospital with the cafe's best and her favourite coffee - lungo.
"Now, let's open the doors" The excitement was evident in his voice as he strode towards the door. Turning the sign, he opened the doors.
--
"Have a good day, ma'am" The woman gave off a genuine smile as she exited the cafe. The manager leaned against the counter as he welcomed his customers. The cafe was serving everything at half its actual price. The rush was to be envied; the queue was never-ending with the story wall filled up for the thousandth time.
"Henry, I will leave in about 10 minutes." Anna filled up the last coffee cup with a shot of espresso and attached the name tag. She handed over the cup to Madison as she moved back. The customer dropped in the money in Anna's jar.
"If you need anything, just give me a call, and if you can't make it back to the cafe, then it's totally fine," Henry said.
Anna smiled gratefully at her manager and took off her apron. Her hair touched the apron as the bun loosened, a few strands falling on her face as her hands pulled them back behind her ear. She picked up her bag and strode towards the exit. Her shirt loosely hung off from her shoulders as the sun was high on the doze of lightning; her shirt seemed see-through. Adjusted her scarf around her neck for the shirt to not give away too much, she stood on the sidewalk waiting for a cab to pull over. Her eyes moved from one person to another as some crossed the road while some walked engrossed in the conversation over the phone. Her mind made up stories about people. She wondered if anyone had trouble breathing too, a constant worry of their heart giving away at any moment the doctor's prescription of taking in less stress. Was she alone in this? Missing out on stuff just to make sure her heart was beating normally. A curse she thought she had to live with forever if the heart didn't give away at any passing moment.
Her eyes when got tired of seeing others life she dwelled on her own. She had to be at the hospital in about 30 minutes. Her eyes started looking for a cab as her eyes landed on one coming from far away. Squinting her eyes, she raised her hands in the hope of it being a cab and not a totally random stranger who happened to have a car in yellow colour.
The car, on seeing her hand, slowed down as it reached towards her. She pulled open the door and sat inside.
"Can you drive me to NYU Langone Hospital?" She said to the cab driver. He nodded and started the ignition.
--
Her fingers laced the handles as she pushed open the glass doors. The smell she had been taking in for nine years hit her. The white tiles were scrubbed to death; she could see her reflection in them. The reception this time was dusted off. She walked towards it and asked for Doc.
"Be in your room. I will send him your way," The receptionist said as she continued typing on her computer. Anna took off her hands from the counter and walked towards room 219.
Opening the doors, she left the bag at the table beside the door and walked towards the washroom. She opened the tap and splashed water all over her face. The water dripped from her eyelashes, her matte lipstick now wet. She starred at the reflection in the mirror- she didn't realize how high her chest rose and settled uneasily with her heavy breaths. With a sigh, she took out the paper towel and tapped it on her face, ensuring she didn't wipe off the makeup.
Throwing away that paper towel, she walked out.
"Hello, Anna," Doc greeted. Her eyes snapped towards him, pushing back all the thoughts that creased her eyebrows—bringing the lost serenity back in those eyes.
"Hi, Doc," She said, smiling. She sat on the bed as he put the reports on the table.
"How are you feeling?"
"Just fine," Anna said, fiddling with her fingers.
He nodded and continued, " Did you feel any kind of pain? Breathing problem?" Anna shook her head, her lips pressed in a thin line.
"Okay," He picked up the blood pressure reports of Anna and continued, "Your blood pressure elevated a little" his eyes glued to the reports as he scanned it.
"You are taking your medications, Anna?" He asked, his eyes briefly moving towards her. Anna murmured a small yes.
"Good. We will move you to the Echo lab for an echocardiogram. I will explain the procedure to you. But, first, let's get moving to the echo lab, okay?" Anna knew what echo lab was. They would examine their heart through ultrasound. She simply nodded and got down from the bed. Her childhood had prepared her for all this. Her mind deviated back to the most tragic night her mom had to go through. She was just a child with tubes running down her face and arms. Her mom stood outside the doors praying every passing second, choked her a little more.
"A sonographer will attach..." Her eyes diverted towards him as they both walked towards the echo lab, every step taken in haste, every word left from his mouth spoken cautiously. Her mind absorbed every word he said as she tried to block out the images of the past.
"Are we clear?"
"Yep!" She said as he handed her the hospital gown.
--
The sonographer stood beside her as he attached the three electrodes to her chest. The ECG machine beeped as the test began.
She held her breaths a few times and changed positions as the sonographer guided.
The doctor stood opposite her observing the ECG monitor. The sonographer took out the electrodes as the doctor frowned, eyes narrowed down. Something flickered in his eyes, a concern she had seen months after.
Anna stood up as soon as she was freed from the wires against her chest.
"What's wrong?" She asked, straightening her hospital gown.
The frown deepened as he said, " Just high blood pressure and..."
The door to the echo lab banged loudly as the doorknob turned, and a nurse stepped in. Anna's phone vibrated loudly on the side table.
"Doctor, you are needed in room 210 NOW! The patient is getting a heart attack." Without waiting for an answer, she turned back and left.
"I will be back" With that, he stood up and left.
Anna sat there with her legs dangling off the bed, the hospital gown making her uncomfortable.
"I will leave you to change, then you can go to your room," The sonographer said and left too.
--
The phone in her hand, the palms turned red as she gripped it tightly. Her heart pounding, she felt like someone had just squeezed it without pity. She had her eyes fixed on the screen, trying to hold back the tears as her lips quivered. She looked up, keeping her phone in the pocket. Taking in a long breath, she exited the room.
The hallways were packed with people rushing in and out. The stretchers were rolled inside the operation theatres. There was a cold air inside the hospital that grasped Anna as the cold stoned tears dropped from her eyes. With her head hung low, she passed from those hallways towards the exit.
Her hands settled on the doorknob as his did too. She turned the doorknob, and so did he. Pushing the right door open, her heart thudded loudly, the burning sensation inside her heightened as the cold seeped in, and her heart ached more. The left door opened too as he stepped inside, eyebrows creased, sweat trickled down his throat.
She exited the hospital, and he entered.