Observer.
Woken up by the heavy stench, Lena, Jumps up with her fingers pinching her nose. She is then greeted with a very unpleasant and annoyed Octan who's complaining with a squeaky voice.
"WhaT tHe fuCK iS tHiS SmeLL." He sounded like a puppet from a puppet theater.
With a wild accusation he then pointed at Lena with his other hand "DiD yOu ShIt YouRSelf?!" .
Lena simply shook her head in refusal.
"AhHhhHHHhhHH!!!" He screamed while kicking and stomping on the ground trying to find the source of the stench.
He was a tad bit too angry, so Lena had guessed he must have had a really good dream that was ruined by this, Lena then tried to remember if she was dreaming, but wasn't able to think of anything.
Suddenly then, Octan's rampage comes to a sudden stop. He stops pinching his nose and looks at his foot petrified.
With the stench in the air, and what he was looking for, Lena could guess what had happened.
He starts to shake his head in refusal, slowly lifting his foot, the sound produced doesn't help at all.
Lena still pinching her nose speaks "sO Was tHAT iT?"
"...please... don't speak one more word..." He said looking absolutely devastated.
"WhaT Is iT AnyWAy?"
"...I don't know, and I do not want to know..." He said in defeat.
"WhY DoN'T YoU jUSt TakE oFf YoUr shoES?"
"I do not have a change... And I would rather not meet him barefoot..."
"ThAt sO..."
"CAN YOU STOP LOOKING SO JUDGEMENTAL?!" He said to the Lena who stared as she always did.
Ignoring the young looking old man, Lena looked ahead from where he had stepped only to a path of goblin feces leading somewhere with each one being quite far from the other. Her only guess is that they were ignored by a horde of goblins passing by.
Octan is able to immediately wake up when he senses danger as his entire body rushes, but if were to pass by without him noticing, then they hadn't even considered attacking them.
Lena wasn't much of a detective, so she considered her theory to be completely wrong and disregarded it.
She decided it must have been something else and turned around to face Octan who has entered the stage of acceptance.
"WhAt ArE yOu GonNa dO nOW?"
While taking off his shoe Octan answered "I will just use a water jet to clean it, though it won't get rid of the smell."
He then sits down crossing his legs and turning his shoe bottom up, Lena can only imagine how terrible it smells that close. Then with his whole being focused into it, with the tip of his finger using some kind of water magic he removes all traces of feces on it, though the stench faintly remained.
"There that's better!" He then put it back on and walked around in a loop for 10 seconds.
Lena spoke still pinching her nose as the stench didn't disappear "LeT'S gET MovInG I WoUlD lIke tO uSe mY nOSe pRoPeRly."
"yeah, sure." Octan started moving with a squeak following each step he took, a small price to pay for clean shoes.
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3 hours later.
Where The middle lands started and where the rest of the words ended wasn't obvious, as the middle lands was merely another part of land except it was ruled by him, The Demon Lord. The regular warm sun, The regular path way, The regular scenery of endless Greenfields, if she hadn't known better she would have mistaken it for any other piece of land, but it was without a doubt that they had stepped into it, The Middle Lands.
Still, something had felt off, where are they? The monsters that roamed the middle lands in hordes, The Demon Lords army, The dragons that laid dormant, and all the monsters that followed his command. Not a single life form was in view.
Lena kept scaping the scenery trying to find any living creature, yet nothing, taking notice of her behavior he speaks in a calm voice.
"They are no Longer here, they haven't been for a while."
With his sudden intrusion Lena once again focuses on the man's back.
"I slaughtered them, every single one, when I came by last time."
Octan spoke in a calm voice, a voice that held no emotion, he was simply informing the clueless woman following him.
"We will pass what they had left behind soon, so don't be too surprised. It's just past here."
In front of them was a path cutting through some woods, with the end of it shinning bright light.
As they pass through the woods, Lena can feel the relaxing sense of the shade that comes with the thick leaves covering the top. The only light lighting up the path is that coming from both where they had entered and where they were exiting from.
As they approach the exit, the entire world is suddenly shun bright forcing Lena to shut her eyes, only to then open them and get greeted with confusion.
It was... a village, or so it looked. The buildings were done... poorly, the fields were rotting and it was covered in blood.
Lena stops for a second to take it in.
"Don't stop now, there will be plenty just like this up ahead, and a capital just like the ones you know will be in the center right under his castle. Move now."
Octan didn't stop at all and just spoke.
Lena did as he said, and just as he said they found even crossing through one of them one time.
From the inside the village only looked even more bizarre, the entrances were either massive or tiny, not only the entrances, but everything, everything had a bigger or smaller version, bars, inns, homes, and even notice boards.
The blood had dyed the walls and streets red, yet not a single corpse was seen, neither that of a human nor monster.
As they calmly walked through the ruins of an old civilization None of them spoke a word.
But Lena had her mind filled with thoughts, with one being the center of it all.
"Is what we are about to do right?"
Lena now knows of the whole picture.
The 1000 year old past, the 15th son, and the human ego. Wouldn't taking down The Demon Lord fulfill the 15th son's ambition?
So why are they marching forward? Why are they doing this?
"The demon lord had stayed in the middle land amongst his army (which is really just the monsters who live in a made up civilization he had created)"
Is this what he had meant? These bizarrely built villages?
Just what is all of this leading up to?
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Some time later.
They are passing through the said capital, and into the demon lord's castle.
Again blood dyes the entire capital red. They hadn't said a single word to each other since witnessing the first village with Octan breaking the silence, and once again he does.
slightly turning his head to the side, He speaks in a gentle tone, like that of a caring father.
"Are you nervous? Is all of this putting you off?"
Surprised by his tone of voice Lena answers. "...No... I'm okay... Let's finish this quickly."
Despite all that crossed her mind, she still looked forward to one thing. Life after taking out the demon lord.
Hell, maybe this was the first time she had looked forward to anything. What will they be doing? Where will they be traveling? She was excited to have her old days with Octan back.
Lena can see the edge of his lips dwindle down as his gentle tone disappears alongside it "...Right..."
Once again facing forward he moves.
Lena follows.
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After climbing a massive flight of stairs they stand in front of the castle's gate.
A massive gate of stone with no kind of architecture behind it, it was as bland as something could get. As if two stone slaps were simply thrown together, they stand between them and the castle.
Octan stands hesitant in front of them.
"Lena..."
He suddenly speaks
"Do you hold any regrets?"
Lena thinks deeply.
"Some, but they have nothing to do with this..."
She speaks genuinely.
"Could I hear them? I feel like this is an appropriate time."
His tone is extremely forced but Lena decides not to question it.
"...Alright..."
Lena speaks with her expression turning heavy.
"I regret everything, Everything I had done when I was alone. From how my friend ended up, to how I ended things with kouko. If I had known how she was going to pass, I definitely would've have treated her better, b-but just how was I supposed to know, right?! And she was just... so happy. I hated her for it... She had left you in such a state, and lived her life with such a smile... I loathed her..."
Octan turned around, his face was the one filled with guilt instead of Lena.
Lena continued.
"But, when I read that newspaper. I loathed myself instead, She died while I myself lived hating her. I had made sure she hadn't known that, but that just made it seem like our entire relations was nothing! Absolutely nothing! Just one big lie... why did I do that, why did I lie to her, to this day I wish I had done otherwise..."
"And then, everything else... I'm just... not sure of... I regret what happened to my friends, but If I'm given the choice again, I will take it. Even knowing what will happen to them, I will take it."
Octan then turns around and with one last sign of hesitance, pushes the gates open.
Bright light blinds them as the gates open.
Inside they are greeted with hallway, an empty hallway.
A bland blocky hallway, that has nothing but a long carpet and a line of chandeliers above it lighting the entire hallway.
The carpet was just red with no kind of design behind it, it expanded from the gates to what seemed like the end of the hallway.
Lena had her arm over her eyes as the chandeliers were extremely bright, and stared down the empty hallway.
Octan stood there for a second in silence staring down the hallway, as if bracing himself he holds his fists tight, and then as if he had finally gotten over something he moves.
"There, at the end of this is the throne room, where he observes." Octan immediately started walking.
Lena followed into the long hallway.
Lena was suddenly getting nervous, this whole place was way too eerie.
"H-hey, you said he is always watching, right? So that means he knows we are coming, right?"
"What, panicking now, Lena? Yes, He is watching, even at this very moments. He knows what we have been doing, and has been patiently waiting for us, so you won't have to worry about introductions."
"B-But, Doesn't that mean he is prepared? Wouldn't he just kill us the moment we pass through that door?"
Octan's footsteps echoed in the empty corridor alongside Lena's.
"Don't worry if he could he would've done long ago."
"I-I-I do---"
Lena's line is cut.
Lena has always trusted Octan, no matter what he said or done, she had always thought of his actions as the right choice. No matter the consequences and no matter the actions, she had seen them as right.
...
But, for the first time in her life, his words were doubted.
"Lena, It's fine... Trust me... I will make sure we both see the outside once again... No matter what."
Lena knew, not because of his hesitance, not because of his terrible attempt at a smile, and not because of his extremely tightened fist, she just simply could tell...
'..But, It's octan.' she said as she nodded.
Walking down the hallway their footsteps continued to echo, Lena had just noticed that at some point the squeaks from Octan's shoe had disappeared, she continues to stare at his back as they finally approach it.
The only thing standing in-between them and the entity, A bland wooden gate, much smaller than that of the castle, but still extremely menacing.
The carpet ends right before the gate, and the chandeliers as well.
Right before opening the gates he turns around and hugs Lena.
She is left confused.
"You've done well... Extremely well."
Lena suddenly feels a tingle at the back of her head, but with the current moment she can't help but ignore it.
Turning around, Octan this time doesn't hesitate. Mumbling something to himself he pushes the gates open.
The moment a crack appears in-between them, Lena is overwhelmed. A sense of... courtesy, A sense of... respect, A sense of... admiration, and a sense of Loyalty, All immediately washed over her.
As if meeting something greater, and as if understanding as such.
That, was her first impression of the entity.
Octan had remained unfazed, while Lena was immediately taken by awe as the gates opened.
The gates opened revealing The Throne room, to say it was simple, would be an understatement.
From the gates a small staircase was there, the stairs were a bland gray with a carpet over them making another path forwards. From there a 20 meter walk, the carpet continues forward from the stairs, The sides of the path were gray pillars holding this pace apart. Another flight of stairs then followed that was slightly longer than the first, once again the carpet extends.
and on top of that, was the occupied throne.
As Octan Slowly went down the stairs, Lena was intently staring at it. She was following Octan down the stairs, but couldn't get her eyes to stray away from it, The entity.
The sound of their steps echoed throughout the throne room, as what little light was passing from the hallway diminished as the doors closed themselves.
She couldn't make up what it was, It had a human silhouette, but no matter how hard she squinted, she couldn't see it. The room was dark as the only light coming in was through the massive shades from the massive windows behind them.
The entity had its head laying on its right fast which was resting on the arms rest, it had looked bored.
As hard as she tried to make out the details of the thing she couldn't, as if trying to remember someone from a dream, it left an unease feeling within Lena.
"Reveal yourself, your scaring her." Octan spoke for the terrified Lena.
"Please, She should be able to endure as much." The entity spoke.
A serious cold tone.
With every vowel it pronounced the hair on Lena's body stood more.
"After all, this is what she is supposed to do." The entity lifted its head, It's head stood tall as it looked down on them.
It then, with a perfect posture, stood up from the throne and stared down at Lena.
Lena was a hair strand away from screaming for her life, but even with how intense she had felt, she understood that entity. She didn't feel danger, but belonging.
"We finally meet physically, Lena jitrochi." The entity spoke as its hands were placed behind it's back, it stood at the top of the flight of stairs with no signs of moving down.
Octan stepped slightly to the left in silence as in not to get in the way between them.
"Oh how I have longed for this meeting, After all observing you from here was just not enough." The entity spoke in a clear cold voice.
"W-what do you mean?" Lena was shaking.
"For what? 6? 7? Just how long has it been... I've wanted to meet you like this for so long, ever since you were in that house. Ever since you gave up your humanity." The entity spoke with a cold voice.
Lena couldn't make out the entities details, but she could tell as he spoke his next line, a grin was covering his face.
"Ever since you gave up your ego."
The entity spoke with a grin, It's human silhouette fading away.
"What is this? What's happening?!" Lena shouts.
She turns her face towards Octan for help only to immediately turn it towards the entity again as it shouts.
"HERE! Do not turn that head of yours anywhere else. You look at me and me only."
The entity spoke.
The entity spoke with it's grin no longer there.
"I know you do not hold the same level of dedication to me as others, but I will reject it, after all you are human as well."
"Ego or not, you too are human, But I hate it, everything about you. I despise and loathe it. Your being, your background, and you future. Everything about it I detest."
"W-w-what are you t-talking about...?" A shaking Lena asked.
"It's simple, think about your past Lena, ever since you were a child. Even before that Letter filled with selfish love. What did you do? Sit. Just simply sit and wait each day until your meal was handed to you, hell, you didn't even wait for that meal. If it were to not be delivered you would simply sit and starve to death, I'm sure you wouldn't have acted against it." the entity spoke.
"..." Lena's shaking had calmed down a bit.
"See you can't even argue back, because you understand it. After that, the letter you cherish so much, the letter that told you of your own past. You had taken that thing at face value, immediately without even questioning it, was it because of the hole you had in your memory? No.
it was simply because you had lost your ego, at some point in your childhood after your caretaker's disappearance you had devolved to nothing but a walking shell, eating your meal and sitting in the corner of that excuse for a house. You had lost the will to keep moving, the will to live, and the will to overwhelm others."
"You Had Lost Your Ego."
The entity spoke.
"And with you being the empty husk you were, your brain had taken that note as itself, It had turned that note into 'Lena.' and made it your ego. To live. That's what you are, A being who lives. How does it live? Why does it live? It simply doesn't care, all you want to do is Live." The entity spoke.
"And when you had met Octan, acting just as your father did in that letter, your husk of a self made him your everything. The person your ego is built around, Living is what Octan is doing. That is what you are Lena."
The entity spoke.
"What are you saying?"
"Hmm... I guess that much doesn't bother you, after all you've already made peace with it all while you were Lana."
"..." Lena doesn't say anything.
"Anyway, to get to my point. You, a human with no Ego, are what I call, an observer. Not a regular observer, but one who truly observes. Just as how I was born at the top of this world to prove this world's existence, you were born from the very bottom to prove something's existence. What it is I do not know, it's too abstract of an idea for me, but I can tell, as I look at you and how you came to be."
The entity goes silent thinking over his next words, then he speaks coldly.
"You are just like me."
Lena stands calm, his words do not shook her as she had expected them the moment she came in.
She stood. Her world... didn't crumble, but instead formed around her. For the first time, she understands someone, and they too understand her.
But, while Lena had felt hopeful with this meeting, she could sense the malice in the entity's words.
The entity spoke.
"You long to observe others, you long to live among others. Just as I do, but yet... But yet it was taken away from me, They called me great, they called me lord. They worshiped me, but I didn't want such, I simply wanted to be their neighbor, their friend, their acquaintance, but they isolated me and called me superior."
The entity spoke in envy.
"But yet you were allowed to live among them, to roam their world, to live their life, to even kill one of their own. It's unfair, absolutely so, even though you hold my flaws, my ambitions. Just because you were inferior you were allowed."
The entity spoke in envy.
"But, I do not blame them, I adore them. Humans, animals, all that lives on this planet outsiders or not. Except you. You are an outlier. While they all strive for more, while they all strive for the top you simply stand aside and watch."
"You are an observer, Lena, Just like me. Giving up on the indomitable human spirit, you observed this world, from both the side and front lines, you observed it. From it's present to it's past, you observed it. From it's weak to it's strong, you observed it. From it's luxuries to it's poverties. You observed it all, and from within."
The entity clenched it's fist audibly.
"And for that..."
The entity spoke.
Octan stood in Silence. He had long stopped functioning. Avoiding any type of eye contact with them he shut his eyes and lowered his head.
Lena stared with awe.
The entity was there, standing at the very top of the flight of stairs.
Lena can't make out how it looks, but it holds a humanoid silhouette.
Lena turned her head. One last time she told herself.
She looked at the ragged back of the man she believes in, understanding what will happen next, she sees nothing wrong with it, nor does she regret it.
After all, this was his choice, this is what he wanted, so it can't be wrong. Time has proven that, that as long as Lena was making her own choices, only the worse happens.
Whether it be the death of a friend, the suffering of a partner, or the death of a hero. So she doesn't want to make any anymore, that's what she had decided on after kinorela.
So whatever happens next, she will not regret.
The silhouette raised it's arm with it's palm directed at Lena.
The entity spoke once more, it's tone was cold yet gentle, foreign yet familiar, and it was very... forgiving.
"...I will not forgive you."
-
-
-
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'I made this choice.'
'This is what I wanted.'
I will tell myself that until I believe it.
"Is it over?" I spoke still eyeing the ground.
The sound of his footsteps down the stairs echoed throughout the throne room.
"It is." He spoke in a clear voice.
I turn around.
Instead of the tall girl I'm fond of seeing, a perfectly shaped narrow crater takes her place, as if the throne room was built around it.
Not a single trace of her existence left.
I can still imagine her arched back as I walk towards the first flight of stairs.
I take a seat at the second step from the bottom and stare at the ground.
He continues moving towards me with nothing but the echo of his steps filling the silence.
Eventually he too takes a seat next to me.
His presence is calming, as if that of the world.
"Was this truly what you wanted?" I asked the superior one.
"I feel at ease, extremely so. When you had come for my head the first time, I was waiting in fear, not of dying, but of leaving that thing behind. If someone is going to observe this world, then it's going to be me." He spoke in his usual cold, and serious voice.
"I see you have picked up an ego for yourself."
"..." He is left speechless.
"I guess I have... Seeing a copy of myself... It made me see my own flaws, and I hated it. I didn't want a flawed version to be left behind, so that had become my goal, getting it out of this world, erasing it." The entity tightened it's fist audibly.
"Then why didn't you kill her yourself? Why have me bring her?" I asked the entity.
"As I had said, I'm an observer. Unless the reasons for my actions are just, I would rather not move. Moving for my own gratification are definitely not just, I would leave a huge impact on the Terrans, maybe even the Zoomors. So, having you bring her was my best option." The entity spoke with confidence.
"What if I hadn't brought her, would you have simply waited?" I asked the know-it-all.
"Do not act as if I was the only person acting out of selfishness, We are both equally guilty. Just as I had my reasons to have you get her here, you had your reasons for bringing her here, It was only a matter of how long. I know how you had ignored the first ring back in Medlucia. You had called it a coincidence and gave her another chance, but only 8 months later she appeared right in front of you without a way for u to deny it." The entity spoke with it's cold voice shooting me down.
"...I can't deny that." I said with weight to my words.
"I gave her a chance, just as you did with that stunt of yours. When she was taking care of you, I had made sure she would run into plenty of people to change her, but even then, at the end of it all, she still chose that life over everything. She chose to take care of that corpse of yours instead of making any kinds of friends, or joining back with any. Instead she became an adventurer and once again roamed the world observing it." The entity spoke with certainty.
I raise my head towards the small crater left behind and speak "If you're trying to make this less painful, then you're doing a terrible job."
"..." The entity stays silent.
"Well then, why don't you close your end of the deal."
"I'm sorry, but I cannot." The entity speaks an expected line.
"Hmmm? and why's that?" I answer playfully trying to get past it.
"Because I do not hold such knowledge, I believe killing you is in no way possible, nor is bringing back those of evulsa. The only way is for you to age out and die..." The entity answers just as I had expected.
"I see... so it really wasn't possible..." I spoke acting surprised.
"Do not act dumb, I know you hadn't believed it, but for that small chance I wasn't lying, you still went along with everything. If I were to call myself selfish, then who knows what you are." the Entity spoke with anger.
I chuckle at his sudden shoot up.
"Relax relax... I know... Still, the idea just sounded... How could I say no, After all I would've gotten to see them again... Plus, that girl wouldn't have been able to live with the idea of me being dead. That was for the best." I sigh.
A moment of silence passes between us which he then breaks.
"Then, Allow me to ask the last question you asked her." The entity spoke with a weird tone, one that was different from it's usually cold one.
"Do you regret anything?"
"N--"
Who am I kidding...
My whole life...
Every action I have done...
"Everything... I regret it all."
I drop my head.
"That so, friend... Now please, let's finish this already."
I stand up speaking "...You know what I'm going to do now, are you sure you're okay with dying now?"
The entity grins "it's because I know, that I know you won't go through with it. I know every single one of you better than you all know yourselves."
"..." I couldn't make up any last words...
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The throne is empty.
I step into the hallway with it all alongside me.
My steps echo in the empty hallway.
I walk down it with regret.
I think back to my entire life, just what had it been for?
The 15th is smiling from the depths of hell, after centuries, his will has been completed. Humanity has conquered the superior one, It doesn't matter how we did it, but we did. Just as he wanted, just as he believed, and just as he had planned.
Hundreds of thousands sacrificed, millions of lifes ruined, and a human erased from existence.
If there is a hell or heaven out there, she wont even catch a glimpse of it, she is no longer here.
I walk down the hallway, slipping my right hand into my pocket, inside I find it, a strand of her black hair.
But, is that really her... A genetic I had made up... even in death, she couldn't pass as her self.
I squeeze my fist tightly the strand still in it.
Regret is what is moving me forward.
Regret is what will fix all of this.
Regret is my fuel.
"I will make sure this isn't where it ends."