Chapter 25: Return of the Crazy Priestess

"Dust! Where are you!"

Naruto hollered as he walked down a secluded alley in the far reaches of Axel. After all, he did first meet Dust in such a place so why wouldn't the guy be here now? For all Naruto knew, Dust could be picking a fight with random street thugs right now.

But what worried Naruto the most was what Luna had said.

'Dust hasn't been seen at the adventurer's guild for a couple days, and not since the Demon King Army General appeared... Where did he go?'

As Naruto was busy trying to figure out where his party member had gone, a couple figures could be seen peeking around the corner of the alleyway.

"Why are we hiding? He's just looking for that drunkard of a man that has a similar personality as you. I don't know why he would bother looking for that man anyway."

Aqua complained but kept her voice down. She would have just ran up to Naruto had it not been for the firm grasp on her shoulder.

"Just what about our personalities are similar, you goddess of wine? Never mind that. But my gut is telling me to wait."

Kazuma said as he held Aqua in place. If memory served correctly, Dust had been placed in medical care after the battle with the Dullahan. But knowing that guy, he was probably kicked out after a couple of hours.

Just what has Dust been up to that kept him away from the adventurer's guild?

This is what gave Kazuma a bad feeling. He wanted to give his drinking buddy the benefit of the doubt, but even he knew that Dust was easily angered and frequently picked fights with the wrong crowds. With his current financial status, thanks to a certain former what's-it-called, Kazuma couldn't afford to get into any trouble with the police.

So, they were hiding.

"Following someone from the shadows really goes against my morals of a Crusader. But I wonder if Naruto will get mad when he finds out and attack us. I heard he once threw a giant toad with his bare hands... Maybe I'll hide for a little longer."

Darkness said as her breathing gradually became heavier.

"You really are hopeless."

Kazuma said with a sweatdrop.

"Hey, is it just me or is someone screaming?"

Megumin asked and the group, including Naruto, looked up to see someone jump across the rooftops.

"AH! I'm gonna die!"

"Dust?"

Naruto said and immediately kicked off the narrow walls to quickly scale to the top of the building.

"How is he able to do that!?"

Kazuma said and ran up to the wall that Naruto just effortlessly climbed. Just what kind of powers did his 'cheat' give him? Was super human strength one of those perks?

"Looks like we lost him. Shall we head back to the guild and wait for them there?"

Darkness asked as she and the other two girls walked over to the only male in their party.

"No! I'm actually kind of curious as to why Dust has been missing as well! Come over here Darkness, use your hard muscles to throw up there!"

Kazuma said and pointed upwards, and Darkness's face immediately flared and angry red.

"D-don't call my muscles hard! Do you want me to throw you into the river nearby!? I'll gladly do that!"

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Naruto landed on the rooftop with a light thud found that the person was indeed Dust. He was hunched over, hands on his knees as he struggled to catch his breath.

"Hah! Hah! That was really dangerous! I thought I was going to die...!"

Dust said through ragged breaths.

"Um... What are you doing?"

Naruto said while giving the teen a strange look, causing Dust to stiffen at the sound of his voice.

"Bo... Boss!? Is that really you!? Thank god you're back!"

Dust cried out and moved to tackle the whiskered teen out of sheer happiness. But seeing how sweaty the guy was, Naruto stepped out of the way and grabbed the back of Dust's jacket when he almost jumped off the roof.

"W-wah!"

"Whoops, sorry."

Naruto said and pulled his fellow blonde back up, and Dust plopped onto the ground on his butt.

"M-my life flashed before my eyes... Again..."

Naruto sighed.

"What are you doing, jumping across the rooftops like that?"

"I remember seeing Boss doing it one day and thought that maybe I could too. But that's not important right now! Boss, we got trouble! Or more specifically, you got trouble!"

Dust said with a new vigor and quickly got to his feet.

"You didn't use my name for anything, did you?"

Naruto said with a bitter smile. He was already becoming known as a delinquent boss, he didn't need Dust using his name to intimidate the local street thugs.

"That's a good idea, but no!"

"Oi."

"But seriously boss, you should have told me you were leaving to get married."

"I swear, if you use my name to-Wait... What did you just say?"

Naruto was about to go off on Dust and tell him not to use his name for anything that would further tarnish his reputation. That is, until he heard the guy say something strange.

"Yeah, I was surprised you'd want to settle down so quickly too. But I'll be more than happy to play the part as your best man. I hear that role gets you a lot of girls."

Dust said while elbowing Naruto in the ribs playfully.

Naruto's face paled. The only thing that came to mind when it came to the word marriage was...

"...Is she in this town?"

"Yeah, I met her when I was sent to the town's Axis Cult church to heal from some minor injuries. I'm sorry to say, but your girl's a little too crazy for me to handle, she is an Axis Cultist after all, so I ran away."

Dust casually said with a short nod.

"How did you escape her?"

Naruto said with a face of disbelief. That woman was able to catch up to him jumping rooftops while wearing HEELS of all things. The likelihood of Dust getting away from such a person was a little...

"Oh, that? I know these streets like the back of my hand! I've memorized every turn in case I ever needed to run away from someone."

Dust said smugly.

Shaking the feeling of déjà vu away, Naruto grabbed Dust's shoulders and shook him.

"Listen! I did NOT want to marry that person! She had an elaborate scheme planned out to get me to join the Axis Cult! She brought me to a restaurant and tried to force me into marriage! They were all in on it! Down to even the band that was playing!"

"S-seriously...?"

Dust said when Naruto stopped and looked him dead in the eye.

"How much did you tell her?"

"..."

When Dust adverted his gaze, a grave feeling washed over the jinchuuriki.

"You didn't..."

"I'm sorry! When I mentioned your name, she stopped trying to get me to join the Axis Cult! That's when she told me that you two were getting marriage! She told me if I gave her all the information I had on you, then I wouldn't owe her or the church anything for healing me. As a man who always repays his debts, I had no choice! So I... told her... you're address..."

"YOU IDIOT!"

Naruto let go of Dust, causing the guy to fall to the floor, and jumped off the roof and back into the alleyway and make his way back to his apartment to fortify it.

...Or at least that was his plan, but he came face to face with Kazuma who was flying upward.

"AHHH!" x2

*Bonk!*

Their foreheads collided, making a loud thud before they both fell to the ground.

"I-I'll beak your fall!"

With an ecstatic smile on her face, Darkness eagerly moved under the two boys and spread her arms wide to soften their landing.

*Crash!*

Hearing the sound of bodies crashing into each other Dust looked over the edge to see Naruto and Kazuma laying on top of Darkness, both of which with the whites of their eyes showing.

"Nngh~! T-two sweaty uncultured men are laying on top of me in a secluded ally! H-how... how humiliating...!"

Darkness said with heavy breaths as she squirmed underneath the two boys. Naruto had landed on her stomach, while Kazuma landed on her legs.

'That girl...'

Dust thought when he noticed Aqua and Megumin staring up at him.

"Oh, it's the crazy priestess with a god complex and the Explosion girl with a screw loose. Would you mind cleaning that mess up?"

"!?" x2

Instantly taking offense to the blonde delinquent's greeting, the two girls fumed.

"How dare you say I have a god complex! I am a goddess! A real one!"

"Why don't you come down here and say that!? I'll show you the greatness of my magic!"

Dust rubbed the back of his neck and sighed. It seemed those three hadn't changed at all. Well, at least he didn't have to worry about them anymore. Those three troublesome girls were Kazuma's problem.

Speaking of Kazuma, him and Naruto were completely unconscious.

"What are you guys doing here, and how did Kazuma get up here? Ah, could it be that you guys want me back in your party? Sorry, but no can do. You all might be beauties, but I'm no Kazuma. I can't handle the three of you at the same time."

Dust said with a short nod. He was touched that they would go to the trouble of looking for him, but Naruto was back, and he wasn't batshit crazy.

"Huh? What nonsense is this man spouting? Why would we want you to rejoin our party? You called it quits after a minor accident with a Rookie Killer. I already healed you, yet you stilled scrambled to a rotten Eris Church. If that's all it takes for you to give up, then you aren't worthy of being in my party."

Aqua said with her hands on her hips, and Megumin nodded in agreement.

Dust's eyebrow twitched. He really wanted to teach those two bratty girls what happened when you messed with great adventurers, but he decided to let it slide for the sake of time. He was a mature adult with more important matters to attend to.

"Whatever. What about Kazuma?"

"Ah, that hiki-NEET wanted to get thrown up there by Darkness. So, being the great me, I enhanced Darkness's strength stat with my skills and she threw him right into Naruto. Puhihihi...! Colliding right into each other like that... What would these two hopeless men do without me?"

Aqua said and walked over to the pile of human bodies before casting Heal on them.

Naruto was the first to open his eyes and the first thing he saw was Darkness's flushed face... Or at least that what he would have seen if it weren't for the two large bulges in blocking his view.

"S-s-s-sorry!"

Naruto stammered and sat straight up, his ears beet red from embarrassment.

"d-don't be! It's my role as a crusader to protect her allies, so it was my pleasure... You're not hurt, are you?"

Darkness said and sat up, shuffling the sill unconscious Kazuma onto her lap.

"Yeah, thanks catching me... I guess?"

Naruto said and scratched his cheek awkwardly. Darkness really was a nice person. Not only was she able to handle Kazuma's rough personality, but she was kind enough to put herself into harm's way when other people were in danger. He heard from Luna about how Darkness had drawn the attention of the Dullahan most of the fight

'Oh yeah, where's Dust?'

Naruto thought and looked up to see Dust looking down at him with a pitiful look on his face.

"Wh-what's that look for!?"

"No... I was just thinking Boss was an amazing person."

"Don't say that to someone while looking at them like that!"

Dust adverted his gaze. He knew Naruto was dense from his interactions with Aqua, but this was ridiculous.

Naruto grit his teeth together in annoyance when he realized he was wasting time.

"Hey hey, don't you have something to say to me? Because of me, you don't have to worry about getting annoying bruises-"

Aqua started saying while poking Naruto in the back, but the whiskered teen suddenly bolted up and took off into the alleyway.

"Shoot! I don't have time for this right now! Dust, go to the adventurer's guild and buy yourself a drink! It'll be my treat, so just wait there for me!"

Naruto called out to Dust, who responded with a mock solute.

"Ah! What about me!?"

Aqua whined with puffy cheeks before she turned the opposite direction and stamped her foot in frustration.

"Why is Naruto ignoring me!? Oh, that's right! I still have to get back at that man for what he did to my reputation! It's time for some divine retribution!"

Darkness watched as the lively priestess took off running and disappeared into the crowd.

"Why do I get the feeling we should have stopped her?"

"I don't think we have anything to worry about. Knowing Aqua, she'll probably try and prank Naruto since he's done it to her so many times in the past."

Megumin said while poking Kazuma in the face with her staff.

"I just realized something. Boss Naruto doesn't know about Darkness's true nature, does he? I could see it in his face earlier, he probably still thinks she's a model knight when in reality she's a complete weirdo."

Dust said, and that was putting it lightly. Darkness was a complete masochist, but he didn't want to risk angering her.

Even though he was standing on a rooftop, Darkness was still in possession of a weapon in the form of Kazuma. If he pushed her too far, that gorilla would probably chuck his drinking buddy at him full force.

"I-I'm not-"

"Yes you are." X2

Dust and Megumin both said at the same time when Darkness tried to deny it, causing the female knight to lower her head in embarrassment.

"Well in any case, I'm gonna drink some booze. See ya!"

Dust said and made his way to the ladder that was conveniently placed on the other side of the side of the rooftop.

'Heh... I didn't think Boss was that dense. Guess I have no choice but to help him out.'

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Making his way to the inn, Naruto stopped and poked his head outside of the alleyway he was hiding in. Not seeing any blonde Axis Cultists, he quickly moved inside the building.

"Oh, well if it isn't the young man himself. Welcome back!"

Naruto almost jumped out of his skin, but he quickly calmed himself when he saw that it was only the inn's manager. The older man wasn't normally this friendly, not because he was a mean person, he was just a stern person. But he seemed to be in a good mood today.

"Ah, yeah... I'm back."

Naruto said with a short waved as he walked past the front counter and towards the stairs that led to the inn's rooms.

"Enjoy yourself."

The man said with a wink, and a grave feeling grew in the pit of Naruto's stomach.

Naruto gulped. He was just in the building not too long ago, but he couldn't help but feel anxious as he walked up the stairs.

Walking up to his room, Naruto placed a hand on the doorknob and gulped. He twisted the knob to find that it was locked, and it was like a ten-ton weight had been lifted off his shoulders.

'I'm safe...'

Naruto thought and wiped the sweat from his forehead before fishing the key to his apartment out of his pocket and slipped it into the lock.

The door was locked, and there weren't any signs of someone trying to break in. Naruto's room was also on the second floor, and as far as he knew, there weren't skills in this world that allowed people to walk on walls like a ninja. Besides, it was broad daylight. Who would try and break into an apartment in the middle of the day?

Just as Naruto opened the door and walked in, he was greeted with a sight that made him freeze in place.

Not three feet away from the door was a woman dressed in a blue nun's attire. She was kneeling on the floor seiza-style, with her head resting on her hands on the floor.

"Welcome home, dear. Would you like to eat dinner, take a bath, or...?"

Cecily looked up with a tempting smile on her lips.

"Would you like me?"

Naruto broke into a cold sweat as his heart rate went through the roof. This was a scene straight out of the porn that his teacher wrote, only she wasn't only wearing an apron.

"...How did you get in here? The door was locked."

"Oh, I simply told the kind gentleman downstairs about our passionate night in Alcanretia and he gave me a key... But was this greeting not to your liking? I once read in a romance novel that this is what married men like. Ah, I'm missing the naked apron, aren't I? Wait outside for a second, I'll go get it."

"There was no "passionate night" you crazy priest! Also, please don't!"

Naruto shouted when the girl stood up and turned towards his kitchen.

'That's why the manager was acting like that... Damn it Dust! Why did you tell her where I live?'

"Well then, you must be hungry! I'll go cook us up some Tokoroten Slime!"

Cecily chirped and walked into the kitchen.

Naruto sighed as he took off his sandals and jacket. He wasn't going to let his guard down, he just needed to bide his time and maybe try and convince this crazy girl to leave him alone.

But how in the world was he going to do that?

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Adventurer's Guild...

Yunyun sighed as she placed the last card onto the house she was remaking. It sounded like Naruto was having trouble, so she didn't want to get in his way. But she was more than willing help if he only asked... They were party members after all!

"Hey, what do you mean I can't order a drink!? My party member said to put it on their tab! I'm not lying, they said I could do it!"

Good grief, the adventurers were quite rowdy. Especially that blonde delinquent that had recently showed up. Not only did he get into an argument with some other adventurers when he walked in, but now he was demanding alcohol and putting it on someone else's tab.

'What a despicable fellow... I hope the party member Naruto-San is looking for isn't like that.'

Yunyun said with a frown before going back to her house of cards. There was nothing to worry about though, because Naruto was good person after all. How could someone who was nice enough to invite her into his party attract someone as distasteful as that delinquent?

Exactly, it wasn't possible.

But she wished Naruto would hurry back. It was kind of lonely sitting there by herself.

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