Closed-in

The following morning, Sineas found himself in Doctor Jacob's office. He seemed rattled, his arms crossed and his gaze on the wall to his left.

'How is school?' asked Doctor Jacob, sitting at the edge of his desk and opening his notebook. He polished his spectacles.

'Can we not talk about that?' Sineas mumbled at the wall.

'Why? Did something happen?'

'I said, no school!'

'Okay. No school. Let's talk about something else then.'

Sineas smirked. 'Have you ever met someone. Someone who acts legit and like they're the real package? They pretend they have your back but when you least expect it, they plant a garden of knives in it.'

Doctor Jacob pushed his spectacles further up the bridge of his nose. 'I assume you're referring to Clarissa?' he asked him.

'I just don't understand how some people can be so…so self-righteous, so…two-faced, egocentric…'

'Tell me why you think "these people" are self-righteous, egocentric and…' he rotated his hand.

'I never did anything wrong, I mean…all I do is exist. I never stole anything from anyone and I never started a fight with anybody, so why? Why do they hate me so much?' There was a glint in his eye.

Doctor Jacob said, 'Sineas, I'm quite sure no one hates you.'

'You don't know what it's like. To walk into a room and have all those eyes. All those eyes staring at you like…like you're some sort of...thing…'

'Sineas…'

'I don't understand, Doctor Jacob. Seriously, I don't understand it. Is it my skin colour? The way I speak? My hair? If it's my character then help me understand because that's who I am. That's all I have.' A tear made its way ceremoniously down his right cheek. 'It's what I am,' he whispered then looked to the chequered floor.

Doctor Jacob placed his notebook beside him. He said, 'Sineas; let's rewind a little. When you said something about someone planting a garden of knives in your back, were you referring to Clarissa?'

He kept his eyes to the floor, his hands clasped in front of his knees. 'How could she do that to me?' he said as if to himself. 'How? Why?'

Doctor Jacob sighed. 'Sineas, I can't help you unless you tell me what she did.'

'She betrayed me, that's what she did,' he said still looking at the floor. 'And yet she pretended to be the one who cared…the one who gave a damn. She can just go to hell with the rest of them for all I care.'

'Sineas. What did she do?'

He clenched his teeth. 'She only hangs out with me because she wants to look good in everyone's eyes.'

'And how did you find that out?'

'Isn't it obvious?' He turned his eyes back to the wall. 'What kind of person would care about someone with a crazy mother, a father whose own bullet was the cause of his death..?'

'Sineas…' Doctor Jacob halted him with an outstretched hand, 'I counsel people with the same problem you're facing right now. You're obviously thinking that Clarissa is too good for you, that it's impossible for someone of her status to care about someone like you.'

After almost an hour of avoiding Doctor Jacob's gaze, Sineas finally looked him directly in the eyes. He said, 'You don't know what you're talking about.'

'I'm afraid I do, Sin. The fact that you're not willing to see yourself in a different light is what's causing this. You refuse to see beyond the image of yourself the society is holding in your face. You have a low self-esteem.'

'My self-esteem is fine, Jacob.'

'Then why do you place yourself beneath everyone else?'

'Because…what? No! I didn't place myself beneath anyone, what are you talking about?' His expression turned sullen.

'Sineas, it's okay. I can help you. You're not the first to go through what you're going through. Everyone suffers from low self-esteem at some point in their lives, especially teenagers. I can help you overcome it…'

'No you can't, quack!' He stood up in a fury. 'You're just like everybody else. You're just like Clarissa! You only care about yourself. You don't want to help me; you just want to add weight to your pockets. Just go to hell, Jacob. You and Clarissa…and everybody else!' He walked out of the room and banged the door shut.

From Doctor Jacob's office, Sineas decided not to go to school. Having to confront all those hypocrites and self-centred neanderthals would worsen his anger.

He finally made the decision to visit his mother at Breechwood Asylum. The money Aunt Janice had given him as bus fare to go to school, he had used half to get to Doctor Jacob's office. He still was not sure why he had decided to go see that quack. That fraud! How dare he say he had low self-esteem. Low self-esteem!

Sineas used the remaining half of his money to get to Breechwood. He would then have to walk from there back to Malrich. That was about two to three hours of walking in the intense heat. He didn't care. The sun could burn his soul to hell if it wanted. Straight to hell where he would wait for Clarissa and the rest of the school.

After a long drive in the back of a stuffy-aired taxicab, Sineas finally arrived at the Breechwood Asylum. He paid the driver as soon as he stepped out of the vehicle. He headed straight for the gate.