Chapter 10

During the funeral

Everybody attended Pearl's funeral. Some whom she knew, some she didn't knew properly and some whom she had never seen in her whole life. Everybody kept on weeping while staring at Pearl's cold and lifeless body.Pearl's family had puffy pink eyes with red noses and they weren't planning to stop crying any moment now until Pearl's elder sister brought Pearl's phone to show her mom a video. At first everyone was reluctant to play the video but in the end they still played it.

"Hi everyone! It's me Pearl and I know that by the time you guys find this video I would already be on my way to hell but don't worry I died the way I wished for. I died in my sleep.*chuckles* You know I was recently listening to a song by Melanie Martinez, it was called Mrs. Potato head and in that song there was a line saying, 'No one will love you if you're unattractive.' I guess that line was true for me because no one that I know of really loved me and always kept on saying that I was unattractive. *laughs* I- *sighs* Who am I trying to kid by acting so positive and cheerful when in reality I am dying inside. I know you take me for an ungrateful person who didn't value her life but no you're wrong. I tried my best, no actually I literally forced myself to live and be happy but it only drove me nuts. Either way it's no use talking about it because I am already dead so let me just vent out all my feelings to you all because if I don't do it now then I don't think my spirit would be able to rest.

Firstly, to my two elder sisters. Remember whenever you guys would see me you would always say that I gained weight and looked I was about to burst like a balloon? You didn't bother to care about my feelings. You didn't bother to know that I was always starving myself. You guys would always be the first to fat shame me but you guys would still force me to eat which I would secretly throw up in the toilet. And don't you dare say that it was just a joke because it wasn't. And even if it was a joke it was a very bad one and you guys kept on repeating that joke which would always break my heart little by little so thank you for the trauma and now you know why I was distant with you guys.You guys even scolded me when I was seriously ill. Do you remember what you guys said? If you don't remember then let me refresh your mind...you told me stop seeking attention and that I was just pretending to be sick and I need to get my acts straight. You didn't even think for a second that I was really begging for your help but no, you guys had to criticize me every chance that you got.

Secondly, to my so-called-friends. You guys drove me insane every second. I told you my deepest secrets, cried Infront of you asking for your help because of my depression and even told you about all my insecurities. You pretended to care at first but maybe you got tired of my depression shits. If you got tired you could have just clearly said it but no you had to do it the difficult way, you started pointing out my insecurities so thank you for teaching me the value of keeping my business to myself.

Thirdly, to my dad. You weren't there for me. You kept on busying yourself with alcohol so thank you for showing me that you shouldn't depend on anyone but yourself no matter how worse the situation is.

Fourthly, to my counselor. You told my family everything when I clearly said not to because I didn't want them to know anything and it was silly of me to think that I could trust your words so thank you for giving me trust issues.

Fifthly, to my relatives. You guys always kept on reminding that I had no right to call any place my home and I didn't even deserve one so thank you for that 'all time reminder.'

Sixthly, to my step dad. You always slut and fat shamed me. You even literally beat me up but you didn't lay a single hand on my elder sister. Maybe because I was an easy target and I would forgive people in few hours no matter how dirty they did me. Thank you for making me believe that I was a bitch who you could touch anywhere and call names as you wish. And here I thought of you as a real family.

Lastly, to my mom. Agree or not but you are the worst mom. You would drink almost every day when I was in sixth grade and come home only in 1 or 2 in the morning. You pulled me out from school and kept me in the house for a month to babysit the kids. You would bring different man every night at home which would scare the shit out of me so much that I had to sleep with a stick every night because you didn't allow me to lock my room. The thought never came across your head that there was a very high chance of me getting raped. When I got really sick one time, that I couldn't even wake up from my bed at all. You didn't look after your sick daughter instead you took the kids at your sister's house and kept on partying and as if that wasn't enough you kept on throwing tantrums at your severely bed sick daughter for not cleaning up the house. I never told you this, thinking that you would feel bad about it but now I am going to be totally honest with you. I was sick for a whole week and couldn't even lock the doors to our house let alone prepare a meal because whenever I moved, even a little slightly I would pass out because of the starvation. And when I would wake up I would always worry that a stranger would break inside the house and would do something to me. I didn't even had the energy to sit up because I kept on passing out. You would always side with my elder sister and you would compliment about how she looked cute with the filter on her phone but when it was my turn you said that I looked really ugly. When my elder sister would storm out of the house you would go after her and bring her back, sometimes even begging her. But when it came to me, you would let me be and never came after me to check on me. You treated me like a second option, you out of all people. You did a ton lot of shitty things to me and I won't say it all because I want you to remember it yourself. I just realized something when I was venting out on you guys. That you would never admit your mistakes and keep on defending yourself by giving many reasons about how you were nice to me. You can keep on living in that delusional state if you want to but just remember that all of you guys some how or another killed someone. I hate all of you to such extent that I even took my own life so I wouldn't see your faces ever again. On the brighter side, you guys somehow prevented a psychopath from being born. If you still want to know about the reason of my death then go to the notes app in my phone and go to the folder 'A shitty hell called life'. The password is 48484848. And you might be curious about why I wrote my secrets in there instead of maintaining a dairy? It is because of my nosy elder sister. She would give privacy to anyone except me. She keeps on poking her nose in my secrets so she could make fun of me. So lastly, goodbye and I still hate you guys for all the pain you gave me. And for a fact I know that you guys will forget about me in a couple of days. I know that because I know for sure that my dead body was only found a day later after my death. *smirks* Anyways bye motherfuckers!"

Everybody was left in surprise at how much pain Pearl was in. They wanted to deny Pearl's words but their sub-conscious mind didn't let them to do so because deep down they knew that Pearl was right and they had really hurt her and as Pearl had expected no one in her family cared about her. They had thought that she was sleeping and only knew that she was no longer alive only the next morning after her death. The cries doubled and everybody felt guilty of their actions. They kept on regretting because even if they wanted to apologize now, it was of no use as Pearl was dead.

True to Pearl's words, eventually after a few months they got over her death and totally forgot about Pearl. The girl who was once a part of their lives.....