Jackson words are burning inside me, what could be making him so worried and needy? At this point is doesn't matter, I just want to protect him, take care of him, make his pain go away. But I can't give everything he needs from me now. Not when I know it's Amanda who Jackson is kissing, Candice doesn't exist here.
He keeps teasing me with small kisses waiting my answer. God only knows how much I want him right here, right now. But I think Jackson knows I'm hesitating, he slow down and take my hand. I miss his lips and the heat of his body on mine already.
I follow Jackson to his bedroom, he don't say anything, I'm not able to speak either.
I sit on his bed and watch him strip off his clothes, his body is perfect. Unconsciously I hold my hands together on my lap, maybe to stop myself from the urge to touch him.
My lips are still tingling from the steamy kiss, but I already decided I can't have more. I know I wouldn't resist another kiss like that. I notice I'm still on the clothes I got in home.
All the situation is so delicate on a precious way I don't know exactly what to do. I'm afraid of make any movement or say something to break this like a thin crystal.
"Jax..."
He just turn his head to me.
"I'll be right back, ok?..."
Jackson nods and I get in the bathroom. I look myself in the mirror, I know if I cross this line I'll never get back.
I change my clothes to some Jackson shirt, when I went back Jackson is laying on the bed.
I crawl under the sheets, Jax rest his head on me, I hold him close planting kisses on his forehead and running my fingers through his hair. I feel his body relaxing, he's not tense anymore.
I know there's something wrong but I don't want to pry, he looks so fragile.
"This is what you do to him?"
His eyes are closed, his voice low.
"Jax ...this is your secret to make him sleep so fast?"
His lips brush my skin when he speak.
"He's not so easy, if I leave him alone for 10 min to get in the bathroom, I'd find him climbing up the crib."
Jackson smile softly against my chest.
He snuggle to me drifting to sleep, makes me smile the way he does exactly like baby Jax when I'm holding him to sleep.
(They both needs me.)
Soon I'm sleeping too holding Jackson in my arms.
---
I wake in the morning with Amanda in my arms, I fell asleep on her last night. I wonder if she would stick with me if she knew I could lose everything, the company, our house...
We never loved each other, but if she leaves me I can't imagine living without my son. But last night was different, I never thought Amanda would spend the night with me after the argument we had because of my fight. She stood by my side without questions, asking nothing in return.
(Maybe I could tell her about the financial problems.)
It's still early, I don't want to wakeup Amanda, I give her a kiss and get ready to work. When I get to the office, Matt is already there.
"Did you slept here?"
"Of course not, I didn't sleep at all. But you look well rested..."
Matt look at me like I'm hiding something.
"A little..."
I usually tell Matt everything about my relationship with Amanda, even if he told me not to marry her he stood by my side.
"What happened? Is Amanda still giving you a hard time because of the fight with Maxwell?"
"Not really, she was... She was ...nice actually"
"You told her?"
"Of course not."
"Why not?"
"What if she leaves me? I don't want to lose my kid."
"Of course you know your wife better than me but that woman I talked the other night at the tennis club, would not take your kid away from you. You should tell her."
"We should get back to work, maybe we can miraculously make a lot of money and I wouldn't need to tell her anything"
"Right..."
---
(What I did?...)
I wakeup in Jackson bed again, his place is empty but still have his smell.
He was completely different from that night at his office, last night he was sweet and fragile.
The kiss was urgent and hard but Jackson was very comprehensive when I didn't want to go further, he just asked me for company.
Still sleeping with him was the most intimate experience we had.
It's time to check Jax, he's probably already awaken.
"Good morning baby boy!"
Josie is already with him. She raises an eyebrow to me.
"Good morning to you too, Josie."
"Am I wrong or I really saw you leaving your husband bedroom this morning?"
"Nothing happened, he just asked..."
"He... asked... you... to sleep in his bedroom, with him...together... both of you... in the same bed?"
I roll my eyes.
"Yes Josie, still nothing happened."
"I'm not saying anything, he's your husband after all."
"Josie!"
"Ok, ok..."
"By the way... I have something to show you."
I show Josie the pictures and tell her what Serena told me about Jackson business.
"I never saw this man before. You think they're together?"
"I don't know, but he's definitely Amanda type. I found him on Google, he's a billionaire. But I don't know how they met."
"It doesn't look like they knew someone was taking these pictures.
Probably someone sent to Amanda."
"What you gonna do about Jackson?"
"What about him?"
"You're starting to get close."
"We slept in the same bed, that's all."
"What if he wants to sleep in the same bed from now on, or even do other things besides just sleep?"
"I don't think so, he ignores me most of the time."
"Honey, you're a beautiful woman, his wife..."
"He's more intimate with his business partner Hanna than he'll ever be with me."
"If you say so..."
(I'm really curious to know what's the thing with Hanna. Serena told me they never had anything but I bet she never gave up. Maybe I should see by myself.)
"Mrs Redgrave!"
The receptionist greets me with surprise.
"Good evening... Bertha"
(Thank God they use tags)
"I want to surprise my husband, please don't announce my visit."
"Ok ...ma'am"
"Thank you Bertha."
(I'm pretty sure Jackson will be so surprised as his receptionist seeing me here.)
I leave the open mouthed woman behind. I'm still thinking on what excuse I'll tell to justify my visit at Jackson office, must be a good one and must be fast because now I'm in front of his door.
I'm ready to knock when the door swing open.
"Amanda? What a surprise!"
Matt is coming out from the office.
"I definitely can see you're surprised."
"Yes, You don't visit often."
"I was nearby."
"I suppose you're here for Jax."
"Yes, is he too busy?"
"We're always busy here, but I think he would find some time for you. He's in his office with Hanna."
"oh! Hanna is with him? Is she always so interested on the business?"
"Well, actually her father is the accountant. She is here representing him."
"Meaning?"
"Her presence here is not so indispensable."
"I figured that."
"And are you ok with this?"
"I suppose."
"If so... why are you here now?"
"I don't know what you mean."
"You never had much interest on Jax business before, but now you're here for a surprise visit."
"I still can't understand your point."
"There's no shame to admit you have feelings for your husband, Mandie."
Matt winks and leaves to his own office. My heart is pounding fast, I'm afraid of what I could find in Jackson office. I knock on the door twice but I don't wait for an answer to make myself in.
Jackson is sitting on his desk, Hanna is sitting across him. She looks very comfortable before her face falls down for see me. Of course I'm the last person she was expecting.
First she looks shocked then menacing. I ignore Hanna, I'm not here for her.
"Amanda?! Something happened? Is everything ok with Jax?"
Jackson looks scared, I bet no one is used to see Amanda around.
"No! He's fine in home with Josie. I was nearby to meet Randy, I thought it would be nice to make a visit. Is that ok?"
"Yes.. sure.. Just unexpected."
"I know, you left too early this morning, I wanted to check on you."
I think he doesn't know what to say for a moment. Hanna is glancing from him to me clearly annoyed.
"Yes... You was sleeping so deep, I didn't want to wake you up."
I don't look at Hanna but I can see she's boiling now with the intimate talk between me and Jax.
"I think I should thank you then."
I try not to sound so shy.
"You?!"
I know what he means, he needed me last night and I stood by his side.
"Actually I'm glad you came, we need to talk."
I was not expecting this.
"Oh! ok..."
"Hanna, could you please give us some privacy?"
Hanna takes a bit too long to react, when she stand up and walk towards the door her face is a mix of disbelief, threatening and deception.
I'm terrified with all the possible things he could want to tell me.
"So?..."
"Please, have a sit."
I sit in front of him, I'm glad I manage to make this fast enough before I drop on my knees.
"Amanda... yesterday was a though day, actually I'm having a lot of though days for a long time."
I'm fixed on him, I try to keep my face calm.
"We're having some troubles in the company, we managed to keep things under control for a while but last month things got really bad."
"You mean, we have financial problems?"
"Y..yes..."
I can see his pain, Jackson looks scared. Maybe he expects me to react bad.
"There's anything we could do to fix this?"
"We're trying everything we can."
"You was worried to tell me?"
"I could say so."
I reach his hand over the table and squeeze it.
"We're going to get through this."
"Are you not... are you not worried, or upset?"
"Of course I am worried, I know how much this means too you. You work hard here."
Jackson visibly relax his body, still he looks surprised. I smile to him, we stay silent, holding hands for a moment. I feel the electricity raising between us, I take my hand back and try to change the mood.
"I have an idea, let me take you out for lunch."
"Are you inviting me for a date?"
His words taking me by surprise.
"Uh! I ... I don't."
"Ok, just give me a minute."
I was not expecting he would accept so fast.
I leave Jackson office to wait for him outside, I find Hanna standing there with a menacing look.
"It was not enough threatening me about your kid, now you come to my work to threaten me about your husband?"
"Did you heard yourself? You're totally right, it's MY husband. You think he comes here everyday for you? Wake up, dear. He does this for me, for his family. You're not even close to a threaten to me."
I know I'm not really his wife, but it felt good to put Hanna back on her place. Before Hanna recover herself on time to any reply Jax comes out of his office.
"Ok, I'm done. Let's go."
"Are you leaving?"
"Yes, my wife is taking me for a date. Tell Matt I'll be back later."
Hanna is not the only one shocked right now. I can't believe he said that.
This is the first time we went out together for something other than mandatory social events. I feel anxious like I'm in an actual first date.
"What you gonna have?"
Jax wakes me up from my thoughts.
(I'd love a huge bleeding steak but, Amanda is vegetarian. I can't eat meat in front of him.)
"Caesar salad, no chicken. Please"
"And for drink?"
"Pink lemonade."
"Are you serious?"
"Yes, dead serious. Why?"
"Nothing..."
Jax shakes his head smiling while he signs to the waitress.
"Amanda..."
"Yes"
"What you did yesterday was really nice."
"You're feeling better now?"
"Yes, I'm relieved that I told you."
"I was serious, we're going through this together."
He smile at me fondly making my heart flutter.
"What about the fundraising, how is it going?"
He asks changing the subject. This is the longest talk we ever had. It's like I'm meeting a completely different Jackson Redgrave, he's really paying attention to me.
"I'm really excited, Randy had some great ideas."
"That's great, let me know when we can have a meeting with the conceal."
What conceal?"
"The event project must be approved."
"Oh! I think no one mentioned that before."
"Don't worry, you'll be fine."
We finish our meals between small talk and our favorite subject, baby Jax.
"I think he'll be walking soon."
Jackson eyes shine when he speaks.
"He's already trying some steps. He's very brave, he never cry when falls down."
I always get excited when I talk about my baby boy. Jackson is staring at me, I instantly feel shy.
"I wish I could spend more time with him, I don't want to miss these moments."
Now is my turn to watch Jax talking about his boy, he's such a proud daddy. Makes my heart warm to see the way Jackson eyes shine.
While I'm listening him, Jax raise his hand and run a soft touch on my face.
"Your eyes are really amazing in this light."
The subtle change of subjects gets me out of guard, also his touch makes me hold a breath. I still don't know how to react when he touches me.
Even if Jax and Amanda were never the loveliest couple, she's still his wife. He's not uncomfortable to touch or say things like this to his wife, that happens to be me now.
I avoid his eyes and I'm pretty sure I'm blushing hard.
"Are you really blushing? You were never the type that feel uncomfortable with compliments."
"I think you caught me out of guard."
"Then I should say that more often."
(He's really flirting with me?)
"When should you get back to work?"
"Tired of me already?"
"No, is not that. I just..."
I know I'm blushing again, the way Jax is looking at me doesn't make it easier.
"Actually I think i lost track of the time, I need to go. I have a boy full of energy in home, I bet he's giving Josie a though time."
I stand up fast and start to take my stuff to leave before Jax can say anything.
He's getting ready to stand up from his place too, but I'm already leaving.
"Thanks for the lunch, see you in home."
Unconsciously I give Jax a peck on his lips It's an automatic move, something natural for couples but as soon as our lips touch I snap.
I can't act like it was unusual to me, I just head outside the restaurant not looking back.