Him And The Peculiar

"Good morning, Erin. I see you've slept well," the same nurse from earlier chirped, brightening his day, just a tad. No nurse could burn as bright in the dimmest of rooms as she did, for she was one of those rare glistening gems who inflicted an unmatched calibre of love for her job, even Erin. It was a bond similar to a distant aunt and nephew, which Erin truly treasured.

Erin himself wore a smile, despite the dull ache in his thin cheeks. He arose as if the ongoing saga of bruises didn't cling to his back, as if he wore the same sickly smile every single day of his life. Maybe that's a good thing. Maybe that's a bad thing. Erin can't decide. "Morning. What shot is it today?" Erin enquired, readying his arm for his usual dose of medicinal drugs.

She had a yellow glint in her round eyes, pushed into thin lines as she squeezed a smile through her plump cheeks.

"Actually, surprise! I threw on a few bits of cash to pay for your next chemo treatment," she clapped as Erin stared in astonishment, dropping his sleeve he lifted for his shot.

"What? How much?"

She scoffed. "Don't worry. It wasn't a lot, you had saved up enough for it anyways. Unfortunately, this job doesn't pay as much as I'd like it to," she sighed playfully. "But I wouldn't change it for the world. Otherwise, how'd I see my favourite patient?" she cooed, pinching Erin's hollow cheek charmingly. His cheeks instantly flared, stealing colour from the reddest of roses.

"Oh, please, you shouldn't have," Erin trailed off. A swarm of multihued, wide-winged thoughts and emotions married his mind and heart, in unison, for once agreeing that maybe, just maybe, he should try more filters and lenses to see the world with. Just, at least, try.

The world works with you when you work with it.

"Now, now, don't you dare cry, or I'll bring mango juice instead of apple," she playfully scolded. Sticking his tongue out in disgust, they chuckled in unison, welcoming the comfortable silence that followed.

Even then, the smile on Erin's face never hesitated.

"Erin."

"Mhm?"

Her face still occupied the resident warm smile, but her eyes had the new tenant of worry.

"You're awfully happy these days, so tell me, why am I worried?" she faltered.

Ah. Erin knew this conversation all too well. He's had this experience with previous nurses, which never really ended well. Though, those apparent nurses lacked any form of basic emotional intelligence. The only thing they knew to do was pry into things they didn't have the facilities to understand, or bury a thin piece of metal into his arm carelessly, walking away with little to no conscience.

Shouldn't it be part of the job to harbour as much skill in hospitality, as they do with technicalities? After all, mental health goes hand in hand with physical health.

He hummed to himself, before swaying his head left and right distantly.

"I'm not faking it or thinking about...other stuff, if that's what you think," Erin cut to the chase. Though, he had to admit, he was slightly lying to himself. He was nearing it a night or two before, after all.

Erin didn't believe he was particularly depressed. Maybe more inclined to believe he was atypically depressed. He couldn't describe his own thoughts, as they were far too complexly entangled to decipher. He was happy when he was happy, and down when he was down. Maybe, hopeless was a better word to describe it. He could be happy, but for as long as he has this disease in his body, he would simply find it easier to remove himself entirely from the equation of life.

"I trust you, love. But.."

"But?"

"Who is it?" she leaped forward with a grin, grabbing hold of his hand with childlike glee.

Erin felt relief at the one eighty conversation steer.

"Who's who, what? Huh?" Erin scratched his head with his free hand.

"Oh, pff, tch, I'm a cool nurse, no need to be embarrassed."

His eyes grew into the size of tennis balls at his sudden epiphany, realising what she was implying.

"God, no. No, I'm not doing anything dirty!"

"Well, I didn't say nor think that. So, get your mind out the gutter and tell me who it is. What are they like?"

Turning his head slightly, he blew upwards, flapping hair out of his face, pouting reluctantly.

"Uriel. He's nice, I guess. Questionable, but nice," he muttered.

"And? What else?" she curiously probed.

"I - Well.. He's around the same age as me, and I think he's really into painting. He has a few weird habits. He has shoes everywhere but on his feet, and gives me emotional whiplash. Always hungry, and complains like there's no tomorrow. Kind of rude at times, but, I don't know. He's a walking contradiction. Part of me thinks he just wants to be looked at with respect, or something. A bit indifferent, but probably a pile of mush beneath it all. You know, he even-"

"Erin," she interjected, chuckling. "I swear, you're practically blue in the face. How long have you known each other?" she giggled until Erin's beet pink skin swallowed his body hole. "I can tell you like him. If I let you continue, I think we'd be here for a year or two."

"Well, no. It's not like that. He's just a really...weird? Um, intriguing character. Besides, you asked, and I answered." he tried to defend himself, but to no avail. The efforts he bored into the bush of desperation were fruitless.

"Mhm, sure. Anyways, prepare for treatment tomorrow. Gihyun reminded me to tell you to take a little walk," she got up, disconnecting a few plugs and needles from Erin's torso.

That rascal, Erin mentally sighed. How could he forget, Gihyun is even more meticulous than he was, which speaks volumes, especially for someone younger than Erin.

He stood by the entrance to the hospital park. It was a shabby, pale blue, scratched up door. That was all that stood between him and the outside. Oh, the outside. He hadn't physically gone anywhere in what felt like decades. His bones crunched, palms clammed, heart thudded, and head spun. Nervous would be short of an understatement to encapsulate Erin's hazed mind.

Ever so lightly, he released a cloud of air from his small mouth, pressing his palm against the door with every ounce of willpower he could get. He clamped his eyes shut, pushing it open. He felt the light warmly blind his lids, and a light gust of air hover beneath his shirt. Opening his eyes, he felt like he was.. empty. The park was beautiful, no doubt.

Suburban park, expanse of grass, beloved and familiar place, straight gravelled paths lined with deciduous trees, round or rectangular flower beds thick with discordant petal colours, statue slightly green, dogs exercised with balls and frisbees, games of soccer, clumps of tall rhododendrons, wooden benches with brass dedication plates, fenced area for lawn bowling club, tennis area, skate and bike park with concrete ramps.

It reminded him of the lobby area in Parvaneh.

It was lovely, but, the park was barren with no single person in sight. It was everything; everything he wished to share with someone. What good is beauty if he couldn't appreciate it with someone? He could appreciate Mr Blue, because to Erin, it was like talking to an old friend. But the park, it didn't rub off in the right way. He knew he was being largely sentimental, that his nerves were far too sensitive, but he couldn't help it; if life doesn't treat you well, do you want to find purpose or find clarity? A balance of both would've been lovely, but clarity was not a word life used for Erin.

"Oh, Mr Blue. I wish I came at night," he mumbled, leisurely beginning his stride.

The next day didn't particularly treat Erin well, either. His treatment should never, ever be painful. Luck wasn't on his side. He felt as if his veins were on fire, the pit of his stomach bottomless, and his head felt like it would never be the same; it felt swollen, but empty simultaneously. He was sweating, both hot and cold, nor empty nor full, nor this nor that. This should never happen, but it did. Why? Because. Simply because. Because it can.

The end of the line is expected, after all, everyone lives in the mortal plane we call earth. What Erin resented was just how cruel the cards he was given were. His body would go into self-destruction, edging closer to the end, day by day. The tumour would grow, spread, thrive, consume, squash the very organs that work to sustain it. He didn't like living as a ghoul; all he needed was an exit pill. That would be kinder than all the attention the hospice had gifted. At his moment, he truly didn't feel alive anymore.

--

Uriel hung his head upside down on Erin's couch, dribbling as he got lost in fortuitous, trivial thoughts. Throwing a ball to the ceiling, he watched it obey gravity, falling downwards. He reached out to catch it but the ball fell right beside his hand, square onto his nose.

"Ah, fuck. Son of a bitch," he held his nose in pain, groaning. He was beyond bored, flailing his arms around in frustration. He wiped his sniffling nose, throwing the ball far away from him in petty rage. "That's what you get, you sad excuse for a ball," he incoherently mumbled, crossing his arms on his chest. If Erin were there, he'd probably laugh, tell him he resembled a reindeer, and helped him.

Erin. Where was Erin? Erin, he hadn't logged in for nearly three days. He grew restless, eyes glaring heavily at Erin's status. No, not online. He didn't want to leave just yet. What if he came on right after he left? Uriel grew even more stubborn, a newfound resilience, maybe even patience, brewing inside of him. Seconds bloomed into minutes, minutes into a solid hour. Dejectedly, he peered over at the time, face free-falling to a deep, sulky frown.

"Where are you, Erin?"

--

After days of radio silence and stewing, trashing Erin's messages with spam felt like the best option. Even then, his efforts bore no fruit. Uriel hadn't seen him for four days, which was not only madly irregular for his system, but also, maybe, the tiniest bit disheartening.

He ignored all scarce calls from his parents, 'friends,' butlers; everyone. He had no interest in them. All Uriel saw was the same people with different faces for Uriel. The same rotting people, with a different body.

He sat in Erin's balcony, positioning himself where he last saw Erin sit. He had a rather odd posture, rather distinct; something that was so raw, freshly tattooed in Uriel's memory. He sat down flat on his rear, one knee brought up to his chest, whilst the other leg rested comfortably against the floor. One arm crossed over his raised knee, making for a nice surface to prop on for the other hand, which was dug into Uriel's hair. His bare feet shivered against the cold surface, as he winced mentally.

He felt like he was miserably failing in a game of Twisters.

"How the fuck is this comfortable," he murmured under his breath, scoffing as he adjusted himself more into Erin's usual stance.

It was blue, that night. Very blue; bluer than the word blue. Maybe Uriel felt so blue, the world around him tinted to that colour. The trusty Moon radiated beams of unbendable light, so pure, so untainted, and that reminded him of a certain someone. Sneering, he cussed at the Moon, but it remained as steady as ever, shining even brighter. Wands of arising branches became dancing silhouettes in the presence of its brilliant light, bringing a newfound beauty to the graphite night. It shone like a thousand starlit heavens, whispering cerulean hues into the grey canvas. He found himself staring longer than he ever has before, blinking gently.

"I guess Rin stares at you so long for a reason. You're kinda pretty, I guess," he reluctantly admitted, eyeing the ground. Tensing his brows, he sighed as he rubbed his temples. "Ah, fuck. Take a look at me, talking to a floating rock, too. He was bad enough, and now I've decided to join the tea party," he sarcastically scorned, changing his position to sit cross legged. "I'm in the club now. What were you called, Mr True? Brew?" he scratched his head, "Nah, it's Blue. Duh. he really isn't that creative when it comes to names," Uriel shrugged, eliciting a soft sigh. Chewing on nothingness, his inner cheek fell victim to his pearly teeth.

The page turned to a chapter of silence, as Uriel was unsure how to proceed. Groaning, he smacked his head in provocation. "Tell me why I'm getting awkward talking to a rock - you aren't even a rock! You're literally a bunch of ones and zeros in my head," he panted, calming down after a few minutes. "What can Erin possibly say to keep him entertained by an inanimate object? I'm bored and it's been three minutes."

He sat in silence, gentle breeze warm with humidity seeping into his virtually poreless skin.

"Seriously, though, Erin. Wherever you are, hurry up. I've been bored, and...yeah."

Lonely. It's a word that describes how no one is around you. Just like alone. Though, they don't necessarily mean the same thing. Alone; it felt more temporary, but something about the word lonely makes you feel as if no one was around to begin with. Uriel didn't feel lonely; he was alone. Currently, that is. Because, somewhere on the other side, Erin was gazing at the very Moon Uriel was, whispering the very same thing to himself.

"Rinnie, please cheer up. The worst part is over now. Your treatment's over, and your drug dosage decreased; I think you're getting better," Gihyun pleaded with a whine, eliciting Erin to remove his gaze from his Moon.

No, Gihyun. I'm less drugged because we can't afford them, Erin thought, but couldn't bring himself to jest the bearer of bad news.

"Mhm, must be."

"Come on, I'll take your headset away from you." Gihyun crossed his firm arms over his chest.

"You say this every time," Erin cocked his head with a small smile, puffing his cheek out.

"It might just happen this time." he rolled his eyes with flamboyancy. "Speaking of, I heard you have a friend on that game?" he raised a brow interestedly.

"Oh, I do. He's nice."

Curse you, nosy nurse, he mentally sighed.

"Don't you...you know, want to say hi? It's been a while," Gihyun suggested, sitting on the edge of the bed.

"I just, I don't know. I don't want to go like this," Erin opened his arms, looking down and around his body.

"What's so wrong? I think you're beautiful, Rinnie," he defensively spoke, chest puffing out like a kangaroo on offence. It was almost comical.

"Hyunnie, thank you, but I don't mean physically. I wear my emotions on my sleeve, for the most part, I'm terrible at hiding them. What if I offend him? Or thinks I'm being selfish? Or bratty? Or-"

"Or, he would see a friend who needs a little help," Gihyun delicately spoke.

Erin peered away, gnawing on his bottom lip. "I don't know, i don't want to give him such a big responsibility. I really don't want to burden him, you know?"

Gihyun furrowed his brows. "Is that what you see it as?" he sighed. "By that logic, you see yourself as a burden to me, don't you?"

Erin whispered a fragmented apology, with absent, derelict eyes.

Exhaling once more, Gihyun offered one of his worry-melting smiles. "Look, I'll decide when you become burdensome, thank you very much," he teased, placing a tender hand against the side of his chest cradling Erin's heart, using his other hand to connect with the latter's smaller ones. "Wow, baby hands really do run in the family," Gihyun chuckled when he looked down. "But, really. The only thing burdensome about you is the way you think. Throw those away, okay? You never know what words your friend could say that may make you rethink everything you had ever known."

Erin snorted wryly.

"He's kind of special, in a bad way. Like, dumb special. He thought orgasms and organisms were the same thing," Erin shrugged. There goes the sentimental moment. Shakespeare would be in tears. Austen's on her knees.

"Erin."

"Hm?"

"I really hate you sometimes."

Gihyun had left twenty minutes after, leaving a hesitant Erin shooting not so subtle glances at his headset every two seconds, plummeting back into his bed after sitting up for so long.

"He probably isn't even online," he pondered. And if Erin was thinking that Uriel probably unfriended him already, he left that part unspoken.

Shaking his head, he threw all thoughts good and bad out the window, deciding to log in with no expectations. It's better than him getting his expectations crushed, or being too happy that he's there. Erin believed that that would be the fast lane to a heart wrenching reality he wanted no part in.

The familiar feeling overtook his body as he timidly pressed the device over his head, releasing a breath upon the familiar surroundings.

He was finally back in the place he called home.

His own home, made by him. Made fair, from scratch, just like everyone else. His clothes felt a little tight, so he dematerialised the top layer of his clothing, leaving him in a white shirt and dress pants. Gliding past the hallways and into his bedroom, he simultaneously undid a few buttons, feeling madly blissful at the sight before him.

The trusty moon beckoning for Erin from the extended balcony, the curtains swaying in synch with the breeze, the light blue beam tainting his white sheets, and Uriel lying beneath them, body raising up and down rhythmically. Furrowing his brows, something felt wrong. Eyes darting around, it snapped right unto the lump under his blanket. Uriel was here. Uriel. Uriel was here?

"Uriel?" he yelped, barely processing the fact that he was already right there, flapping under the covers in shock.

Well, he definitely wasn't unfriended, for the better or the worse.

"It wasn't me," he incoherently shuffled, blanket leaping on the ground as he twisted his body aggressively. Rubbing his eyes at the direction the sound came from, he squinted. Not even a second had passed, and Erin had been tackled to the floor, back pressed against the cold wood. "Erin! Oh my fuck, you scared me you bloody idiot. Where the hell have you been? Give me a warning or something, you ass. I didn't know where you were or if you'd come back! What if you didn't, hm?" he shot out one sentence after the other, straight out of his machine gun mimicking mouth.

He's just reloaded his ammo. a large batch, if you ask anyone.

Erin wanted to protest and remind him that it was only a few days, but the machine gun went off again.

"Who would feed me shit? Not me, I can't cook, or even hunt. I even, even.."

Moonlight kissed Uriel's vision, and the boy beneath him. Uriel trailed off, eyes relaxing at the sight under him. Shiny, dishevelled dusky hair sprinkled against the floor, brushing his forehead delicately, hiding his soft, raised brows. His diamond shaped face adorned dewy skin, gleaming and glimmering beneath the scarce light, proudly framing his plush, rosy lips that parted marginally. Even his eyes glimmered; he could've sworn they were twinkling. Black orbs truer than the word true. His slightly unbuttoned shirt, revealing the milky skin rising and falling on his chest, took the cake for being a health hazard. His virtual skin occupied goosebumps.

Definitely a health hazard.

For a second, Uriel reeled his thoughts back. He didn't change his physical appearance, apart from his skin undertone. This was Erin. Erin in real life. Erin virtually. Erin in the day, afternoon, night, and everything in between.

He grew fidgety, prodding his voice against Uriel's muffled ears. "Uhm, Uri? You even, what? You gonna finish your sentence?" Erin voiced. Oh, his voice. That's the one thing he never knew he needed. A faint melody grazing his ears was all he needed to gain all the world's energy. "Hello? Are you glitching?"

Surprisingly enough, the weight of Uriel's frame above his isn't what had him internally hissing. It was the weight of his intense, concentrated eyes revolving around him the way the Moon does with Earth.

"Ah, fuck." he blinked rapidly. "Sorry. You're so damn heavy," Uriel muttered, climbing off of him instantaneously.

"Say what? You literally pounced on me; I was under you!" Erin challenged with cheeks ablaze, reluctantly making eye contact.

"You don't need to be above me to know you're heavy," Uriel sneered. "Oversized rodent."

Rolling his eyes, he materialised pyjamas on his body, flicking Uriel's forehead as they both sat atop his bed. "Ah, that hurt," he whined, shoving a middle finger in Erin's direction.

"That was the point," he deadpanned.

"You don't do that to someone you abandoned. Where have you been?"

Uh oh. Say something. Anything. Anything but the truth, though.

"Hospital."

Well, there goes that.

"Huh, what for?" Uriel's eyebrows knitted together in concern.

"I uh, broke my.. foot?" he lied straight through his teeth, looking at everything and anything apart from the boy sat afront him.

"What? How?" he shuffled forward, poking his foot. "Does it hurt when I do that?"

"Well no, you idiot. You don't feel anything from reality unless it's temperature or really severe," he corrected.

"Tsh. So rude."

"Am not."

Are too."

"Says you."

"Yeah, says me."

"Stop being immature."

"Takes one to know one, Rin," he sarcastically grinned. His laughter camouflaged with the silence, grin now cradling a smile, ogling at Erin.

Every cell in his body, every fibre of his being, every neuron in his brain screeched an disharmonious symphony of all emotions pretty and ugly. All because a certain someone was practically observing him under an electron microscope.

"You're being weird, you know," Erin muttered, bashfully looking away as he fiddled with his fingers.

"Well, excuse you for not being on for so long that it feels unnatural to look at you," Uriel slyly commented, or at least convinced himself that he was sly and that Erin wasn't raising his brow in perplexment. Alas, the grin infiltrating his face could not be prevented to save his life. Truth be told, that wasn't really why he was acting peculiar. He himself didn't know; it felt like second nature to do so with Erin. Nothing ever functions the same with such beings such as Erin. Not even the flow of time. "Though, get well soon or whatever. Don't trip, though that would have been funny. You on the ground and all contorted."

In that moment, Erin felt a thin, moss-like layer of guilt crawl across every inch of his skin. Though, his well wishes didn't go to waste at least, he reminded himself.

"Thanks, Uri. If I tripped, I'd get back up and kick you with my contorted leg," Erin smiled genuinely.

Uriel appeared hesitant; biting the inside of his lip, rubbing the smooth of his arm, darting his eyes in all directions. Erin tilted his head in confusion, but stopped when he saw the latter lean in gently. He came closer to his body, making contact after a few long seconds. He cupped Erin's body into his own, resting his sharp chin atop Erin's silken hair. Feeling Uriel's breath on his scalp, his skin morphed into the shade of a sakura pink, subconsciously nuzzling his head further into Uriel's chest.

This was so unlike Uriel, though, he couldn't say he knew himself well ever since he crossed paths with Erin; nothing added up the way it did before. Not even laws of math could be justified.

Confusion was Uriel's knew norm. Perplexment was his soap, curiosity was his water, thus, every day he'd be cleaned to a perfect slate of absolute internal chaos.

So, he didn't try and justify it. He did what he knew best when it came to Erin. Which involved the simple art of going thoughtless.

They warmed each other's body and souls in their embrace, swaying gently to the melody of their heartbeats. Erin decided to muster up some courage, raising his once limp arms to wrap around Uriel's slim waist, finding a comfortable nook to rest it in. The latter didn't flinch once, and instead sunk in further and basked in this newfound comfort. Uriel began to hum a tune in the midst of the light silence, wrapping and looming around their ears gracefully. The smaller immediately recognised it to be the very song he hummed previously.

"Pretty," Erin mindlessly whispered, swearing he almost fell asleep at the soft sway of their bodies effortlessly harmonising with the numbing humming.

"Well, aren't you brazen shmazen," Uriel teased.

"Obviously, it's in my nature. I am an ENFJ, after all."

"Oh? I'm an INFP, already making me miles better than you."

"Hm, what a shame. We actually aren't compatible, you know?" Erin lied, feeling Uriel's body firm.

Interesting. He was a man of reserved spirits, but a social butterfly, as they say. Artistic flares. Very accurate. Oddly enough, he was sensitive, too. That's new to Erin. Definitely something his eagle eyes will hyper focus on next.

"Get off the internet, nerd. What I say is more valid than any puny facts, because I'm Kim Uriel, which means I am the very definition of accurate, and I say that we are compatible," he scoffed, tightening his grip. Mentally, Erin was sent into a frenzy. He was kidding, potentially, sure. But by the Cosmos, the only being capable of knowing what was going through Uriel's juxtaposing mind was the Aboves themselves.

Erin nervously brushed a hand through his hair as though that can tame the wild, fluttering beat of his heart, and finally looks away.

"There you go, being weird again.."

"Only because I missed you," Uriel mumbled beyond his breath in the form of a whisper, going unheard by Erin. "Only slightly. A little bit."

"Hm?"

"What?"

"You say something?"

I didn't say anything, deaf bat."

"That's.. That's not-"

Erin sighed, chuckling dryly. Definitely an INFP.

After a minute, Uriel shoved Erin away from him, shuffling to his side of the bed hastily. "You stank; I had to get away," Uriel announced, voice distorted by the blankets thrown over his head. Erin didn't even have it in him to be irritated.

In fact, he couldn't mistake this feeling for being anything less than cloud nine. Besides, he figured he had his fair share of defence mechanisms, if anything. Burying himself under the covers, he truly didn't know why he felt afraid to log on before. Everything always seems so much more exaggerated until it finally happens, which unquestionably got the better of Erin. He could even go far enough to say, dare he say, he acquired clarity.

He forgot he was ever upset in the first place.

Out of nowhere, a leg was thrown atop Erin's torso, leaving him only slightly winded, whipped with bewilderment.

"I'm comfy, so don't you dare touch my leg with your grandma fingers," he threatened, laying comfortable.

He's sensitive.

He doesn't want to be rejected.

Erin felt this wave of epiphany, and suddenly his defensive nature made seamless sense. He was one step closer to understanding the world's eighth wonder; Kim Uriel. He might even say, he'd spend ten thousand hours, more or less, to decipher him. Maybe.

Shaking his head, Erin chuckled, actually coming to like the pressure on his stomach. Nearing his dreamy utopia, Erin glanced at the Moon.

What a peculiar one he is, Mr Blue.