Chapter6/ i have and always will

While marcus shared his time with their parents, david and judy watched from the door way. The sun went down, touching the tops of the trees far in the distance. Dying the world in a orange glow.

"You really plan to let him stay here?" Judy watched, even she knew when someone needed time alone. Leaning on David's back as she rubbed his shoulder.

"He said it was only a few days honey, we could at least give him that." David said, turning and kissing the top of her head.

"Do you think that is for the best? What if it happens again? What will we do?." judy thought about the past as she asked.

"I'll make sure it doesn't, you heard him. Once he leaves this time he won't come back." David sighed. Looking at Marcus's back as he stood.

"Your taking him at his word? Really. . . Why are you being so easy on him." Judy wanted to know after all, David was the second most angry at Marcus.

"Because. . . No matter what has happened, he is still my little brother." David couldn't lie. No matter how much anger he had it wouldn't change that fact.

"If that's what you think is best. We will need to keep those two apart. I don't want to see her like that again." Judy said with understanding in her voice.

"Agreed, especially since there doing better. It wasn't long ago that she was over here everyday. I think Marcus knows to, I'm sure he will understand." David nodded his head.

Looking at Marcus walk out in the open field. Seeing him Lighting a cigarette as he looked at the sun set.

Marcus finished walking back to the house, grabbing his bag as he looked up at David and judy. Walking up the steps, David put his hand on his chest to stop him.

|mc pov|

"What is it now David?" I spoke, looking down at him a little. Then Judy who still had that look in her eye.

"You can stay. But there are some rules." David spoke as I nodded and was going to pass him.

"What? You want me to sleep in the barn? Just tell me David." I just wanted to sleep, and put my mind on other matters.

"You can if you keep up with that shit attitude. One try and stay out of town a lot. Two don't walk around here like you own anything, this is our house, you are our guest." David was going to keep going, just to be cut off.

"You need to stay away from Evelyn, you know as well as we do the mess you made last time. The last thing we need is her to fall for your shit again. Her and Lee are happy. Let them stay that way Marcus, you want to eat go in town, same thing for drinking or smoking but avoid there family you hear me Marcus I'm not joking." Judy spoke, I could hear the worry in her voice.

I looked down. I was being treated like a child. On top of the fact I was treated like I'm a outsider. I get that they blame me, I wanted it to be this way. So later I could try and make amends but the anger would never die down. It grew and there still as mad as back then, trying to push me out more, out of this home we grew up in. I knew ma wouldn't want this.

"Is that all? I need to sleep." I said about to just walk in just to be stopped.

"You didn't give a answer? Marcus this is serious. I don't need you fucking things up. I'm not going to clean up your mess again. The last thing is what you said before, after you leave. I don't want to see your face again." David said holding my arm.

"If I heard them i understood, you don't need to worry. I'll stay away from Evelyn and follow your rules and when I leave I'm gone. Even though I'm sure ma and pa wouldn't want this." I said pulling my arm away.

"How the hell would you know what they wanted?! Huh Marcus?! You were gone? You didn't care about coming to see them or even be there when they passed away. Don't give me shit about what they would want, when you couldn't be here for her when she needed. Run away." David yelled grabbing my arm again. Judy wanted to stop it but I had all ready pushed him.

"How long David! Huh?! How long till you say what you really feel?! You hate me right?! Your own brother, I don't know what she wanted?! Really David?! She was our mother so don't say I don't know anything! Come on big man tell me what you really want to say." Pushing him, David hit one of the post that held the patio sealing up. I walked up again pushing him as he looked at me with a angry look.

"Both of you stop! Marcus back off!" Judy said, trying to stop it, she yelled.

"You really want to know Marc! Huh! I really do fucking hate you. You were always somewhere else. When pa died you wanted to be off in your own world! You want to know why mom died huh?! After you left she was hurt even if she didn't say it! You broke her heart and from then on she got worse and worse. And where were you?! Huh what were your words to her when you finally came home?! That you wouldn't leave again right?! I hate you because your what killed her! Your what drove her into the ground! Ugh!!" David yelled. Looking at me as I took every word he said. Only for me to punch him with enough force to bring him to his knee.

He punched out getting himself together, only for me to move and knee him in the face. He rolled getting up, rushing me as i uppercut him. Kicking at my legs as I kick him in the center of the chest pushing him to the ground.

"Stop! Marcus get off of him now! Stop fighting!" Judy yelled, picking up the gun that came free from his belt and pointing it at me.

"You going to shoot me Judy? Do it.." I said turning back to see her hands shake, turning my attention back to David who groaned in pain.

*bang.

A shot rang out, everything became quiet for a second as Judy shot in the air. Pointing at me again.

"Get off him or so help me god Marcus!" Judy yelled.

"Enough Judy. . ." David said through the pain, looking up at me who was on top of him.

"David." Judy spoke.

"Enough honey please. . ." David said. Feeling the water hit his face. Looking at my eyes who were crying.

In the middle of everything no one saw the car that had pulled far down the lane. It's lights off as the person got out, it was dark and they walked. Only to take off in a sprint as they heard a gun shot.

"Everything I ever did, always ended up like this. The way I wanted, I knew you blamed me. I blamed myself, I left to get away from this town. Leaving everything behind. No matter how far I go I can't escape this place. You don't know anything David! Nothing at all, how much I wanted to come home! How much I wanted to be here for all of you! Did you think of how I felt?! When I left for college and pa died it hurt so much I couldn't even find words! Where was I while my family had to deal with it?! Then I had to leave again when I became apart of the military, I was sent off and came home to find mom sick. Right then and there I wanted to stay but I couldn't! The truth! The truth is I didn't want to watch her die! I ran away! I ran from that! I'm a coward! I know that but I did everything I could from where I was to see her well again! No matter how much money I sent. She never took it, why?! Why didn't she take it! Why when I called the hospital she was never mad at me! Telling me she loved her run away son. Then years went by and I came again. You had already blamed me but we tried, that's when I met someone that would anchor me here for ever! I fell in love, we hid it and you found out, you yelled fought and showed me your disappointment but you accepted the relationship we had. Still I saw what I was doing to everyone. The lies, the sneaking around and the pain of me still fucking up. Plus you thinking I was the reason for her dying and the way evelyn was torn between me and her family I couldn't! So I did what I do best! I ran like I always do! I left everything behind! I left my family! My brother, my sister! I left it all behind because I was the cause of everything! Did you think I didn't want to come home and tell you what tore me apart! That I wanted us to stop being a family! That I didn't want to be with mom till the end! Or that I wanted to leave the only woman i ever truly loved behind! But I did, because in the end.. I am the problem." I yelled, years of pain and loneliness coming out. Tears came like never ending rain.

David laid there, in all the years he never saw me cry. When mom and dad died I had stayed strong. When I fought I didn't cry, even when he told me he hated me for the first time. This tank of a kid, was yelling and crying as he let out, what no one ever thought of, that no one ever asked. The question that had been in his mind for a while, but he just pushed it away.

'So this is how you truly feel, Marcus.' David looked up, seeing the younger me flash over the older me. He let out a smile as tears came from his eyes. Reaching his hand up to rub my hair.

"I didn't know, that you held it all in. . . I'm sorry, Marcus." David only touched my head for a few seconds. Before I stood walking to the stones under the tree as he spoke softly.

Judy went up to David, she had tears in her eyes to. She had thought I was selfish and just didn't truly care. She was mad that i had broken up the family, that I broke Evelyn. She never thought that all the pain, and longing to come home I had. That I had used myself as the focal point of everyone's animosity. When I hurt in my own way and just let it sit deep down inside.

"He grew up so much. . . it took me till now to see that. That little boy who never cried. Dealt with it all alone."David looked up to the sky, only getting up to hug Judy when he saw her tears.

"He really did.." Judy said, only to hear weird cries as she looked up.

Standing in the front yard, a woman stood. Her shoes muddy and her face red. She held her hand in front of her mouth. Tears coming down her face as she heard every word I had said. She looked at my back that was in front of the stones again.

"Ev..huh?" Judy was going to say, but was cut off by David.

"Shhh…" David shook his head slowly, stopping her as he put his finger to his lips.

Evelyn had ran here, she didn't know how many times she was in the car, she wanted to turn around. Taking hours to get here from how many times she turned around. Calling Lee and telling him she wanted to see her grandmother. She was her care taker and he understood. Only to show up here, to hear the words that she didn't want to accept. She was coming to see Judy she told herself. Not to confront and Marcus, lying to herself until hearing the truth.

Slowly her feet moved on there own, walking past Judy and David, who just watched her. Getting up David's body hurt like hell but Judy supported him as they followed.

"I'm sorry, ma, pa did you hear? I'm sorry I didn't come home. I'm sorry for running away. I wish I could do it over again." I said my hand on the stones, my head looking at the ground as tears hit it.

Only to stop as I felt hands wrap around my stomach. The forehead that laid on my back, the shaking from the person and their sniffling. The softness of there skin as I rubbed there arm.

"Why did you come. . . Evelyn?" I said knowing this persons touch.

"I came to see Judy. . ." Evelyn said not letting me turn to see her.

"Your still a bad liar. ." I said leaning back and looking up to the sky.

"How much did you hear?" I said to her slowly, closing my eyes because I didn't want this to happen.

"All of it." Evelyn spoke, holding tighter as she pushed her body against mine.

"Of course you did, Listen Evelyn. . . I don't want to put.." I was going to say. Being cut off by her first.

"All this time. . . I was angry, hurt, and blamed you. You left and I was lost, I knew i couldn't leave this place, no matter how much my heart told me to. So I waited and waited but you never came back. If it wasn't for Judy, I don't know what I would do. Finally after I accepted you'd never come home, you show up and it all came rushing back. Why can't I forget you, why can't I just be happy with Lee. Why does my heart hurt thinking of you leaving again. But I told myself I was happy, that I was only here to see Judy. Now look at me. Unable to hide it at all." Evelyn spoke, I could feel the tears hit my back, making my shirt wet as more tears fell.

"Eve. . . I." I wanted to turn around and hug her but she spoke again.

"I told myself. . . That you didn't care About me." Evelyn finally said.

"I care so much it hurts." I spoke feeling her tighten her hug.

"That you didn't miss me." Evelyn who hugged more choked out.

"I've missed you more with everyday that passed. To the point I thought it would drive me crazy." I felt my heart slow as she melted more into me.

"That you. . . That you didn't love me." Evelyn who was trying to fight her feelings, bit her lip as she spoke.

"I have been in love with you. . . As long as I could remember. No matter the distance, I knew my heart lived far away from me. Inside another person that I wish I could be with for the rest of my life." I said, finally allowed to turn and look down at her.

"And here I am. . . Telling myself even now that I don't. Even if I know." Evelyn said, rubbing her cheek against my rough hands.

"You know what, eve?" I said making her look up to my eyes, while I wiped her tears.

"That. . . That I can lie all I want. Because I have never stopped, loving you." Evelyn spoke, seeing me lean down.

The world stood still in this moment, the past, the future. The pain that had been held by everyone washed away for a while as me and Evelyn's lips met.

"I have, and always will, love you." I said placing my forehead on top of her head, while she buried her face in my chest.