Chapter 110: Two steps forward… one step back (part 2).

- Why? Why? Why?! Why am I Always so weak?!

A demoralized Homura dropped to his knees as blood kept pouring out of his now missing arm.

During their last clash, Jyubei managed to parry his attack and slice off his arm clean from his shoulder.

The difference in technique was just too great.

It was an adult playing with a child.

A child who had learned only by imitating others and was still not fully comfortable with using techniques he hadn't yet fully grasped or able to adapt what he had learned to his form and body.

Even when compared to the poor approximation of the Yagyu Jubei in front of him, his chances of winning were close to null.

Homura was quite aware of that conundrum.

He could not possibly beat his opponent when he spent most of his time and effort trying to copy Yagyu Jyubei's fighting style, she was unmistakably more adept at using her own strategies and techniques than Homura was at copying and implementing them against her.

Homura was not the only one analyzing their opponent, Yagyu was able to tell what kind of person or fighter Homura tended to be, he was meticulous but when he had no other option he became no different than a cornered wild animal. Brash and willing to die while taking their foe with them.

Yagyu Jyubei was able to easily predict the kind of actions Homura would take and she baited him to try to land a killing blow on her, but instead of allowing it to happen she managed to cut off Homura's arm clean; at the very last moment.

Before Homura's blade had a chance at piercing her heart.

All those events transpired in the course of an instant but to a master swordswoman like herself, it was rather simple.

However, for Homura it was not.

Moving at unfamiliar speeds and using the unparalleled strength the simulation provided him effectively was quite the challenge.

Unfortunately for him, the visual acuity of his incomplete sharingan was only able to allow him to keep up with foes of the caliber of Jyubei.

Just seeing Jyubei's sword move was already a tremendous task, if it wasn't for their speed being the same even fighting her was utterly impossible.

A year had passed and he was still too weak to fight an opponent of her caliber.

He thought he could get to Itachi's realm of strength when he was the same age as himself, now that he has the sharingan.

But even though he awakened it earlier than then one Uchiha clan's greatest geniuses, he still couldn't compare to the man he wanted to defeat.

To the man, he had to one day meet and ask him, the question that was eating at his very soul and kept him awake most nights.

Sadly, if he could not make significant progress before graduating such a wish would never be answered.

Especially, since he had lost to the same fictitious opponent over 10,000s of thousands of times and did not seem anywhere close to winning.

His pride as of now could only feed on his rage and anger, for him to not simply give up on his plans.

Deep down, he even welcomed those negative feelings.

Those feelings would only make him stronger; so as long as he never gave up hope.

He could suffer any humiliation, and put up with any task thrown his way.

So Homura snapped out of his stupor and tried to grab the blade he had dropped once again.

-kuh…Kuh…- A struggling Homura tried to grab the blade beneath his feat with his busted hand but he could not accomplish such a basic action.

His pride refused to let him restart the match once again there was not enough time for that.

The simulation was soon going to be terminated, he would have to wait about 5 days to a week to start again if he could only land a single cut on his opponent even in this state; then it would mean his efforts were not in vain.

However, his opponent ignored and couldn't care less about Homura's feelings. As Homura tried to achieve his pointless struggle, Jyubei was already in front of him and drew her sword near Homura's neck who was caught completely off guard.

However, this action brought him back to his senses.

The cold touch of the blade snapped any thoughts he had just now and he looked at the woman, in a skintight dark-green outfit.

But her outfit was far from what Homura cared about.

Her cold stare was devoid of any feeling; was truly one of a warrior who had lived through hellish; life and death battles.

Further cementing the gap between them.

Her stare was devoid of any care as if she was just looking at an insignificant pebble in her path.

Though underneath it, there also seemed to be signs of a hidden deep sadness and loneliness; though Homura was blind to it all.

She had the strength and power he desired, her cold exterior was all he could observe.

…And that was the last straw.

He didn't care if he could lose to someone stronger than himself, but he hated to be looked down upon.

Especially not some fictitious being inside his subconscious.

- Kuh…grrr!

For a Homura whose mental stability had started to deteriorate over the last year.

He acted composed in front of everyone, but he couldn't hide his true feelings inside his own mind. The anger he felt was far stronger here than it was in the real world, any negative feeling could develop into an outburst if he let himself be engulfed by his own negativity.

And he had reached a point where his emotions could not be subdued.

When the young woman in front of him gave him her signature cold stare...he couldn't take it anymore.

He lowered his head seemingly accepting his fate, only to rise it upward and look her in the eyes once again.

And all semblance of composure was immediately thrown out of the window and his face twisted to one of unbridled rage.

-Grrr...Stop looking down on me!!!!

He instantly used all the strength he could muster and kicked the floor beneath his feet, to propel himself forward.

Rather, he was aiming to kill his opponent in a last-ditch effort.

Aiming for her covered jugular, and ripping it off with his teeth.

There was no plan or any deep intent as to why he took that action, all rationality had left Homura; otherwise, he would have known that it was a hopeless attempt.

Though, it mattered not if he couldn't see it or if his opponent's body was merely a synthetic recreation and had no actual blood underneath its appearance.

He opened his jaws as wide as he could while sporting the look of a madman with nothing to lose.

Or nothing to live for.

To him, his life was nothing short of a joke. The elderly woman who was formerly known as Akane was dead.

Her grandson who was the closest thing to a brother and a familial bond was gone too, he was unable to save him.

The same for Uchiha Shisui; who had helped him so much and he owe so much that he could never repay him.

All because he felt that he was a coward, refused to truly change events, and selfishly wanted the only one person he knew would listen to his words.

Homura was now cursed to carry deep within himself that negativity, forced to be reminded at all times that his cowardice was the cause of his pain.

All because he had believed that convincing others would be an impossible task and a threat to his own being.

Now...everyone was dead.

What good was his own well-being?

He had witnessed so many dead bodies.

So many innocent lives taken.

So many hopes and dreams… snuffed by the swing of a blade.

Guilt, such as he never felt before was eating at his heart like no other and he had no idea how to cope; all he could do on his day-to-day was try to keep it buried under a mountain of inconsequential thoughts and mundane tasks.

But here, within his mind, those thoughts, the voices of the deceased roamed free.

Free to overtake him at any moment.

All he could do to calm himself down was to try to experience even a slither of their suffering.

Every death, every defeat, and every pain he experienced… could bring him closer to making amends for the pain those in the Uchiha clan suffered on that unfortunate night… even if he could only experience it inside his mind.

Unfortunately, that wasn't enough to ease his guilty conscience but it was barely enough for him to be able to live with himself.

- AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

To Yagyu Jubei who had experienced similar scenes to the one unfolding right in front of her very eyes, over and over again, there was no surprise to be had on her face; as Homura rushed towards her.

Even if she was a program, she had evolved enough and beyond her original setting.

She was even able to speak, and even give Homura advice if he were to request it from her.

However, there were no words she could share with Homura.

From her profile and the set of memories given to her, she understood all about Homura from a single glance.

He had a severe case of survivor's guilt and had the eyes of someone who wished to die.

Fortunately, that much was something that she could easily grant him in this fabricated world.

All she could do was oblige him, and see what will transpire the next time they are inevitably fated to face one another.

That's why, as she was about to have her neck ripped open by her opponent, she tightened her grip on her armament and swung it to the right.

By the performance of that very action, she stopped Homura.

As his head was cleanly separated from his neck and the rest of his body; which caused both sections to inevitably fall to the grassy and cold ground without any fanfare.

- Kuh..argh…- Homura, couldn't stop himself from making weird almost inaudible noise, as the fake blood inside his body rushed out of his throat; by the process of having been perfectly, horizontally bisected.

His face as it stopped rolling on the ground, had now reverted back to his normal expressionless self.

Homura was able to see that his last attack had failed, as he saw the rest of his body lying motionless.

Instead of feeling devastated, angry, or even filled with despair at his failure.

Homura's expression was one of relief.

As everything proceeded to fade to black.

Was it relief that the simulation ended or was it relief that for a brief instant he would experience death?...At this point, only Homura himself knew; as he closed his eyes.

Chapter end.