Chapter 09: I'm stronger than you think

Soobin was holding Beomgyu's hand and was trying to sneak out of the place. There was a guy coming this way so they needed to hide. He was just like a fighter bull who had a gun in his hand. Soobin and Beomgyu were hiding behind a pillar. Both of them looked like ninjas from anime. The guy sensed something and looked back. He was coming this way. So Soobin hugged Beomgyu and leaned against the wall as if Soobin also became the pillar. That time a big rat ran out and passed by them. Seeing the mouse, the guy thought it was nothing and went back. Soobin sighed and loosened his grip. Beomgyu's face was hiding in Soobin's chest until then though Beomgyu wasn't a coward. He just couldn't prohibit it and wanted to hide and feel the warmth as he wasn't feeling so well.

"Let's go!" Soobin said with a very low voice and held Beomgyu's hand again. Both of them came outside safely and went to an immune place.

"Why did you go to that place?" Soobin asked curiously. But seeing Beomgyu's face he stopped. Because of the street lights, they can see each other's faces clearly. Soobin left Beomgyu's hand right after they came outside of the building. He was standing stiff and looked very down.

"What happened? Are you okay?" Soobin showed great sympathy towards Beomgyu. He came closer and put his hand on his shoulder. Suddenly Beomgyu hugged Soobin tightly and started crying.

"W-what h-happened?" Soobin was shocked by Beomgyu's sudden action and he couldn't even guess that he would cry out of the blue. Soobin's bunny eyes were looking even more questionable though he couldn't ask anything more. Beomgyu was hugging so tightly that Soobin was nearly out of breath so he tried to exceed him but Beomgyu didn't let him go.

"Did you get scared that much?" Soobin puts his hand on Beomgyu's hair and adores him like a child.

"Why are you so nice to me?" Beomgyu mumbled while crying.

"Hey! Don't get the wrong idea! I just went out to throw out the trash but I saw you were looking depressed and going somewhere. I called you but you didn't listen to me so I was following you and saw you entering that building. I saw some hooligans entering there some day before so I thought it could be dangerous. And see? I got it right. It was their basement. What if they hurt you? I can save a person from getting hurt so why shouldn't I help him?" Soobin said so many things to clear himself but it didn't help Beomgyu to feel less emotional.

"Can you leave me now? You're hugging too tightly." Soobin tried to change the topic.

"Um-hm! Let me stay like this for a while. I need someone right now." Beomgyu shook his head and replied in a cute tone.

"Ah! Okay stay like this as much as you want." saying that Soobin also embraced him.

"Let me walk you home." Soobin said and walked beside Beomgyu.

"No need. I can walk by myself." Beomgyu said inattentively.

"I just want to. It's not like I care for you. It's because I'm bored and I have nothing to do, so...." Soobin was asking permission to walk with Beomgyu.

"Okay, But if you don't care about me, then why did you hide me in your chest while smelling the danger? You should've hidden behind me or pushed me in front of danger." Beomgyu asked, looking at Soobin and stopped walking.

"I.....Uh.....You seemed really weak so...if it was you... you'd be senseless.....and got caught." Soobin faltered while talking as he had nothing more to make up for an excuse.

"Hey! I'M QUITE STRONG! DON'T SEE ME AS A WEAK GIRL! I'M A MAN TOO! I CAN BEAT THAT BULL UP IF HE APPROACHED US! I CAN DO SO MANY THINGS THAT YOU COULD NEVER IMAGINE! SO, DON'T YOU DARE TO THINK THAT I'M WEAK!" Beomgyu shouted though he was looking very cute while shouting. Soobin. found him cute and tried to hold back his laughter. But it was clear that he melted away by Beomgyu's cuteness.

"Okay, okay, I got it! You are strong!" he was still trying to hold himself back but he looked away to smile.

"HEY! YOU DON'T BELIEVE! THEN COME WITH ME! I'LL SHOW YOU SOMETHING!" saying that Beomgyu held Soobin's hand and pulled him.

"Ah! Where are you going? Leave me! I said I believe you!" Soobin was still smiling but he had no idea where Beomgyu was taking him.

After some time, they reached near Beomgyu's house and Beomgyu was eager to show his skills to Soobin.

"Isn't it your home? Wait! Are you gonna...Nhuuuh! No! I'm leaving!" Soobin had some dirty thoughts in his mind and he put his hands on his body to cover himself as if someone's going to rape him.

"What's with the reaction? Eish! What are you thinking?" looking at Soobin, Beomgyu was so done with him. Throwing a look at him he also hit Soobin's head.

"Uh!" Soobin put his hands down and touched his own head as he didn't count on the hit.

"Just wait here!" saying this Beomgyu smirked and went up just like how he went down a while ago. Soobin was fascinated by his skills and admitted that he has some potential skills. He smiled being shy because he treated Beomgyu like a child before he knew about him. He looked down when Beomgyu was calling him from his window.

"Soobin! Wanna come up? I'll make you some coffee!" Beomgyu said while shouting.

"Later! I need to go now!" Soobin said while looking at Beomgyu and looked down again. He took a long breath and started walking. It's been a long time since he felt happy like this. He doesn't know why but when Beomgyu is around, he always cheers him up even if he doesn't do anything.

Soobin came beside the riverside and sat down. It was late at night but the view of the city wasn't giving the vibe of being late. Usually, when he gets too emotional, he comes here though it doesn't help him to forget about his sorrow. He becomes more down when he comes here. Still, he came here more often because of something. And that makes him more disheartened when he thinks about it. He lay down on the grass putting his hands down his head. He looked at the sky and closed his eyes. Feeling the river's wind, smelling the grass and soil, he was feeling sleepy. But he kept looking at the stars without blinking.

"Hyung! Are you doing well? Can you come and see how I'm doing?" Soobin mumbled.

"I'm doing well and nowadays I feel happy. I don't know why but I kept forgetting you because of someone. I know it's not right and I can't make mistakes again. So, I tried to avoid him but he kept bumping into me. What can I do? I should avoid him, right?" Soobin was talking with the sky thinking that he was talking with his hyung. Within a moment, he fell asleep but it was just a nap because of his dream. He saw his "Hyung" come to him while walking on the river.

The handsome face, slim chin and soft eyes were clearly seen because of the sun. His glasses gave him a perfect look with his black shiny hair which was combed back. His broad shoulder blocked the sun to give direct light to Soobin's face who was still lying on the grass. His gentle smile didn't fade away though it's been a long since Soobin saw him. Though he was nearly 30, people could misjudge him by believing that he was in his early 20s. He was walking on his feet above the river. His blue shirt was shining and also his black pants though they didn't touch a single drop of water. He put both hands in his pockets and it was really very cool of him. He was just looking like an angel came from heaven.

"Seok Jin Hyung!" Soobin called his name and stood up.

"You came back?" Soobin gave him a big smile and ran to him. Hugging him, he said "I miss you, Seok Jin Hyung!"

"Are you happy?" Jin asked with a bright smile.

"Hm. I'm so happy now. Don't leave me again, got it?" Soobin said with a very cute tone.

"Do you think you deserve it?" Jin asked him with a heavy voice. Suddenly everything turned dark. Soobin saw that he was standing on a stone and there was a very big sea in front of him. It was very stormy and it kept lightening again and again. But Soobin was all alone. He was afraid and seeking help but there was nobody who could help him.

"You don't deserve to be happy! YOU DON'T DESERVE IT! YOU DON'T DESERVE IT! YOU DON'T DESERVE TO BE HAPPY!" Soobin could hear Jin's voice again and again but he kept saying that he didn't deserve it and his voice kept getting deeper and deeper.

Soobin got up while trembling and breathing heavily. He sat down but he wasn't happy anymore. He bent his head and stuck it between his thighs and blocked it with his hands.

"Y-Yeah! You're right! I don't deserve to be happy." Soobin cried out. He kept saying that with his broken voice.