Chapter 76: The self-accusation

Soobin could hear everything finely. But he couldn't see as there was something wrapped around his eyes. He could hear his dad's voice coming from beside him, but he couldn't move his body. It felt as if he was paralyzed and couldn't move his single finger at all.

"See? Do you think he can do something like that? He always ran away from home because I forced him to live like me. But he hated it and couldn't say it. He had traumas, but I didn't even know about it. Say, ain't I too bad to be a father? I tried to protect my territory. But he didn't let me. I left all of that just to stay with him. Tell me, how will I live if he leaves me again?" His voice was breaking again and again.

"I'm sorry, Mr. Won. It was my fault. If I knew, I'd come to you instead of seeking revenge." Another voice rang on Soobin's ear. It was the same voice he heard in the prison room. He felt bad for his father. But was terrified by hearing the voice of the person who made him like that. Drops of tears fall from his eyes slowly.

"Why didn't you tell me earlier? Why didn't you come to meet me? And how…" Soobin's dad stopped and sighed because he was a bit loud and it was a hospital.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I was blind for revenge. I should've given him some time before taking action. But what could I do? As soon as I saw him, my blood started boiling and I couldn't control myself." Jackson said in a low voice. As soon as he confessed, the atmosphere got heavy in the room.

"I brought you here because I want you to apologize to him. And I know my son well. What you're blaming him for, is not true. So, wait till he's up. You'll get the truth soon. And think about the consequences. What I should do with you. Don't think I'm going easy on you because I've become soft. I'll surely settle the score with you." Cha Won said in a louder voice as he was getting angry.

"What are you guys still doing here? I told you you can only stay for five minutes! You should go now! Not more than one person can stay with the patient." A nurse came inside and nearly scolded them as they were making noise which could bring disturbance for the patient.

Soobin could hear the voices clearly. Although he was hoping to hear one more person's voice, all he could hear was the three voices.

"We're sorry! We'll get out now. But, what about him? When will he get up? Why isn't he responding?" Soobin's dad asked the nurse.

"Look, mister! I'm not a doctor so I can't guarantee. Wait for the doctor. He'll come and check in the evening. For now, please don't make any commotion and leave." She said a bit harshly as she was irritated by the two of them.

"Okay, okay. Let's go!" Both of them left the room and when they came outside they saw the pale and gloomy face of Beomgyu, sitting on the corridor's bench. He was glaring at the floor and was in a daze while scraping his thumb with the other one. The cheerful boy inside him was long gone. He was just a depressed, melancholic, megrim and broken hearted person. There were no tears in his eyes anymore though his face couldn't be seen because his hair covered more than half of his face. But it could be understandable how disheartened the boy was. As if a dark aura flared around him and there was no soul inside his body.

Seeing him like this, Jackson was feeling more guilty.

"B-Beomgyu-ah!" He called slowly. But Beomgyu didn't look at him. He kept scraping his finger with his nails and a small amount of blood came out from his thumb. But he didn't notice it. He kept scraping to relieve his worries though it wasn't helping him.

"Hey! Beomgyu!" Jackson noticed it and rushed to him. He grabbed his hand and separated them from each other. He squatted down in front of him, trying to make Beomgyu look at him. But Beomgyu was hating the touch and he tried to free his hand without looking at him. Jackson noticed Beomgyu was shivering and his lips were shaking.

"Hey! L-look at m-me! Hm? I…am… sorry." His voice faded slowly.

"Beomgyu!" Soobin's dad called by his name and this time he raised his head and looked at Soobin's dad. His eyes were all dry as if someone snatched all of the tears from those eyes. His face looked paler than any other time. Even his lips were all dry.

"Go! Stay beside him. I have some urgent things to do. So, can you please take care of him for me?" He asked Beomgyu with a dry smile.

"Uhm." Beomgyu nodded and stood up. Jackson had no choice but to leave Beomgyu's hand. He lowered his head and rubbed his forehead with his hand. He sees Beomgyu as a brother. He loved him very much. Beomgyu always shared everything with him. Just like a bosom friend. But he never shared what was going inside his head. If he was a little open-minded and told Beomgyu about his situation, would Beomgyu help him? Could he solve the problem? He couldn't understand anymore. But after what he did to Soobin, Beomgyu didn't even look at him. Jackson thought it wouldn't be a big deal, but seeing the cute boy's miserable face, his heart was aching and he felt more guilty.

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Beomgyu went inside the room where Soobin's body was kept slowly and sat on a chair beside the bed. He didn't make any sounds. He glanced at Soobin's face and felt angry upon himself. But he couldn't express it anymore. His eyes and throat was hurting because of all the crying he did the last night. He looked at Soobin's hand. His long and attractive fingers were looking grimy. He was going to hold the soulless hand, but right at that moment, the nurse came in again. But this time she had a big bowl and some tools with her. After filling the bowl with water, she placed it on the table beside the bed. She put a small towel in the bowl and drowned it. When she came forward and was going to ask Beomgyu to move, Beomgyu stood up and asked her for the towel.

"Let me." He said with his broken and low voice.

"Can you?" The nurse was hesitating a little as she thought Beomgyu couldn't take care of the patient.

"Don't worry. I can." Beomgyu assures the nurse with his most fake and dry smile. The nurse was convinced and gave him the towel and went outside. Beomgyu placed the towel on Soobin's hand and started wiping the long fingers. He noticed some cut marks on his ring finger. The mark looked fresh as Soobin got hurt the last night.

"Does it hurt?" Beomgyu was talking while looking at the finger. He stopped wiping it and pull the hand near himself. Then he rubbed it against his cheek and then kissed on the wound.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Hm? Please wake up. Please…." He took his hand near his forehead and pressed it against him. He was so busy in regretting that he didn't notice Soobin's point finger moved and his heart rate was increasing slowly.