Kazuma And The Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day

This story is Fanfiction, and I don't own 𝗞𝗼𝗻𝗼𝘀𝘂𝗯𝗮!, if I did, Aqua would be even more useless. 𝗞𝗼𝗻𝗼𝘀𝘂𝗯𝗮! Is owned by 𝗦𝘁𝘂𝗱𝗶𝗼 𝗗𝗲𝗲𝗻 and 𝗡𝗮𝘁𝘀𝘂𝗺𝗲 𝗔𝗸𝗮𝘁𝘀𝘂𝗸𝗶.

-<[𝘼𝙝, 𝘾𝙧𝙖𝙥!]>-

Kazuma was having a very bad day. A terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.

First, he decided to go on a walk. That was his first mistake. Thinking back on it, what possessed him to even consider it? He could've ordered online, in the safety of his home!

𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙮 𝙘𝙤𝙪𝙡𝙙𝙣'𝙩 𝙛𝙞𝙣𝙙 𝙝𝙞𝙢 𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙧𝙚-

And even then, the girl! Sure, he would've felt better with the fact he saved her, but it was a fucking tractor! The closest farm was ten miles from his house, so why was it there?!

𝙉𝙊 𝙎𝙏𝙊𝙋-!

Sure, his parents understood, but did it stop them from laughing?! No! Sure, he could agree, his death was pathetic. It doesn't mean he'll admit it. Though it got worse when-

𝙂𝙀𝙏 𝘼𝙒𝘼𝙔 𝙂𝙀𝙏 𝘼𝙒𝘼𝙔 𝙂𝙀𝙏 𝘼𝙒𝘼𝙔 𝙂𝙀𝙏 𝘼𝙒𝘼𝙔 𝙂𝙀𝙏 𝘼𝙒𝘼𝙔 𝙂𝙀𝙏 𝘼𝙒𝘼𝙔 𝙂𝙀𝙏 𝘼𝙒𝘼𝙔-!

That useless goddess decided to taunt him! of 𝘤𝘰𝘶𝘳𝘴𝘦 he was going to get payback. He was petty as all hell! If she wasn't useless, he would've gotten his dime-a-dozen Isekai adventure like all those other generic slate protagonists!

𝙄'𝙇𝙇 𝙎𝙃𝙊𝙊𝙏! 𝙂𝙀𝙏 𝘽𝘼𝘾-!

But 𝘯𝘰~, he decided to grab the useless goddess with an alcohol addiction, one whose only specialty is healing, and wastes points on 𝘗𝘈𝘙𝘛𝘠 𝘛𝘙𝘐𝘊𝘒𝘚!

𝙅𝙎𝘿𝙁! 𝘾𝙊𝙈𝙀 𝙊𝙐𝙏 𝙒𝙄𝙏𝙃 𝙔𝙊𝙐𝙍 𝙃𝘼𝙉𝘿𝙎-!

The only silver lining here is Jenny. Jenny, the saint that she is, kept us from sleeping in the stables on the first day. He may be petty, but he's still Japanese first and foremost, so he'll gladly pay her back. 𝘪𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘧𝘰𝘳𝘮 𝘰𝘧 𝘢 𝘴𝘲𝘶𝘢𝘵𝘵𝘦𝘳 𝘰𝘣𝘷𝘪𝘰𝘶𝘴𝘭𝘺.

𝙎𝙝𝙚'𝙨 𝙙𝙚𝙖𝙙 𝙗𝙚𝙘𝙖𝙪𝙨𝙚 𝙤𝙛 𝙮𝙤𝙪, 𝙠𝙞𝙙. 𝙔𝙤𝙪 𝙤𝙣𝙡𝙮 𝙝𝙖𝙫𝙚 𝙮𝙤𝙪𝙧𝙨𝙚𝙡𝙛 𝙩𝙤 𝙗𝙡𝙖𝙢𝙚-

Jenny confused him. Did she do it just because? Did she have ulterior motives? He didn't know, and it scared him. He could always read people, even if most of the things they had to say about him were negative, he could bear it.

𝙔𝙊𝙐 𝘽𝘼𝙎𝙏𝘼𝙍𝘿! 𝙄'𝙇𝙇-!

But Jenny, he couldn't get a read on her. In all honesty, it was probably because he couldn't see any pupil movement because 𝘧𝘶𝘤𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘣𝘶𝘨 𝘦𝘺𝘦𝘴. Then, there was the newest party member, and objectively the weirdest. Fucking Chunibyos.

𝙊𝙉 𝙔𝙊𝙐𝙍 𝙆𝙉𝙀𝙀𝙎-!

Megumin, Megumin, where, to, start...

𝙄'𝙢 𝙨𝙤𝙧𝙧𝙮 𝙠𝙞𝙙, 𝙬𝙚 𝙬𝙚𝙧𝙚 𝙩𝙤 𝙡𝙖𝙩𝙚-

Megumin was a glass cannon. That much was obvious. Her magic, while fuck-off powerful, was basically a single-use cantrip. Like casting a muffling spell, only to trip down a flight of stairs. It was as sad as it was hilarious.

𝙉𝙖𝙩𝙨𝙪𝙢𝙞! 𝙉𝙤-!

Aqua said something about Megumin being a Crimson Demon? They were apparently a clan that churns out top-tier mages and artificers or something.

𝘾𝙤𝙢𝙚 𝙗𝙖𝙘𝙠 𝙩𝙤 𝙢𝙚-!

"Excuse me?"

"Hm?" He turned, spotting a Blond woman, who towered over him by at least one foot.

She squirmed under his gaze. What the hell?

"I happened to see your recruitment poster... are you still recruiting party members?" She asked.

Kazuma raised an eyebrow, "Uh, yeah we are? Why?"

She sighed in relief, "I see, thank goodness. I have anxiously awaited the arrival

of someone such as yourself."

What the hell is this lady talking about?

"My name is Darkness," Well, isn't that ominous. "My calling is that of a Crusader!"

She started... panting?! her eyes stared directly into his feeble soul, hers slightly glazed with an emotion unknown to Kazuma, "Please let... Please let me..."

Kazuma gulped

"j-j-join your party!"

𝘾𝙖𝙣 𝙄... 𝙟-𝙟-𝙟𝙤𝙞𝙣 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙖𝙩 𝙮𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙥𝙡𝙖𝙘𝙚 𝙆𝙖𝙯𝙪?

"...hah?"

𝙎𝙪𝙧𝙚, 𝙉𝙖𝙩𝙨𝙪𝙢𝙞