Chapter 10: Ellie

Claire walked in with a tray of mini canapés and pizzas, smiling at me, interrupting our bitter exchange. I felt terrible, and I wanted to get out of here as soon as I could. My heart was fluttering. Andrew had seemed kind and loving and he kept telling me that his wife had never satisfied him, that he hadn't slept with her for over a year. I was stupid enough to believe him, lying to my own friends to protect our secret. Now for the first time in my life I was ready to come clean and tell this woman who had invited me into her home and treated me kindly that I had fucked her husband.

Mack was like a wave of new energy. He wasn't Andrew, but I felt so guilty that I still wanted him. I had nearly wrecked one family for what I thought was love. My first lesson in love was harsh enough and I couldn't go through it again.

"So what did I miss?" Adrian asked, walking back to the living room. This whole situation was absurd and I couldn't sit here and pretend that we were all going to be best friends.

"Claire brought food, but I can't stay. I just realised that I have something that I have to take care of. Thank you for drinks," I said and flew off towards the door before anyone could stop me. Adrian looked baffled, and Claire shot Mack a sharp glare, probably blaming him for scaring me off.

I slammed the door behind me, trying to calm my racing heart, and a sudden shot of anxiety attacked. My hands were shaking like crazy. Mack had no right to behave the way he did and I had acted on my emotions again. We had sex; it wasn't supposed to mean anything. Him lying about everything made me his accomplice in the deception, and that didn't sit well with me.

That night I went to bed angry and overwhelmed with guilt. Claire was nice. It was a shame that she had no idea what kind of husband she was married to. The whole thing made me sick because I couldn't deny that I wanted him all over again. My night was ruined. Around midnight I heard Adrian going back to his own apartment. Tears forced their way from my eyes. I knew that I shouldn't have flirted with Adrian to get back at Mack. I had to speak to Claire and tell her the truth.

The next day I arrived at work with a headache. At my desk I took two painkillers and tried to work on an article that my boss so generously assigned to me. It was another boring story, this time about the upcoming strikes in the NHS. My father's voice in my head reminded me that I should have chosen a law degree, because then I wouldn't have this problem.

Deep down I refused to acknowledge that he was right, to accept that my whole life was in shambles.

"Have you read this? The whole damn scandal is so funny." I heard the voice a few desks away from me. Mimi, the tall blond secretary that probably regularly fucked my chauvinistic boss, sounded excited about something. I lifted my head and scanned the room carefully. She was talking to Dean, a handsome reporter who took care of the sports section.

"No, what is it?" he asked.

"That rich daddy's girl had an affair with a married man. They were caught in her father's firm by the wife. Apparently the guy denied everything, saying that she seduced him. Can you believe it that people actually follow this shit?"

Mimi laughed, reading snippets of the article from the gossip magazine.

The colour drained from my face and I was ready to dive under the desk and never ever show my face in public again. It'd been weeks since my story filled the papers, and people were still reading about it. I had dyed my hair and wore glasses at work, hoping that I wouldn't be recognized.

I couldn't take it anymore. Yes, I was a home wrecker, but Andrew had seduced me to get back at his wife, and to get closer to my powerful father. It was just a game to him, nothing else. My whole life had fallen apart because of that stupid mistake. He sold the story to the papers, pretending that I was the one that initiated it, saying that I craved constant attention.

"People like real-life stories, Mi. Anyway, what's happened to the girl?"

"Oh, I don't know. Apparently she's disappeared."

I flew off my chair and hurried to the bathroom. I couldn't listen to this anymore. Remembering how naive and stupid I was then, tears began streaming down my eyes. What was the point getting upset again? This whole thing was behind me now. I took what I could and moved to Edinburgh. My father told me to go to hell, that I should've been the one that died, not my younger sister. He always regretted that he was stuck with me after Mum left him.

And now I was proving that my father was right all along. I had barely managed to secure this job. My boss had no idea who I was. I wanted to show my uptight father that I was smart and able to make a name for myself, that I didn't need his money to be respected.

In the ladies' room I wiped the tears away and reapplied my makeup. I had a few small stories that I had to finish by the end of the week. My last conversation with my boss was pathetic. He promised me a column with Jordan, but so far nothing had come of it. All the men on the paper fought over significant stories and I was still a newbie and had no chance.

Worst of all, my head was screwed. Mack had been on my mind all day and every time I thought about his sexy eyes, I lost focus. It looked like my mistake of sleeping with him wasn't going to just go away. I owned the apartment, so I was there to stay. He was off limits and that glorious night with him didn't matter anymore. Everything had been going smoothly until I showed up at that damn party. I should have known that it was a bad idea.