I Don't Feel

Everything happened so quickly. That school day flew by within minutes, seconds even. It was like in the blink of an eye; I was at the basketball game. It went so fast I lost all awareness until Tommy handed me a drink and started yelling about the game. I must have blacked out all day. I tried recollecting my thoughts, but I couldn't recall my entire day today. I looked around and notified the whole crew, from Ronny to Charles; everyone was there. A smile crossed my face. At least I was surrounded by my friends. Ronny stands closest to the basketball game and begins yelling when the opposing team scores a basket. He nearly throws his hotdog at the ref, yelling

"FOUL, can't you see that!"

Louis and Carl start holding him back from running in the court and thrashing. Valeria and Melissa start laughing at them, trying their hardest not to start crying from laughter. I give out a chuckle and begin walking closer to help them. I begin to pick up speed as I look around. The stands are full of people of all ages, with different faces staring back at me. It begins to eat at me how much my friends will draw attention. At first, it feels like a trickle; then, the water of dread starts overflowing. As I step closer and closer, I can hear it—the water is trickling away to a ocean. My ears cut out the sound of the crowd roaring; they boost Ronny more to rush into the game itself. The sound of the water trickling stifles their yells. I touch my neck, and sweat gleams down me at an alarming rate. I'm to Ronnys back now, and I grab hold of him. The three of us are more than enough to hold him back. He calms down after a while and returns to our seats. As we walk back, the crowd boos us until we sit down. Ronny, still standing, yells at the referee and players. Tommy looks around, staring at any girl he can. I don't see Charles anywhere. I tell the others I'm going to look for him and walk back to the restrooms. That is the most likely place he would be. I open the door,

"Hello, Charles, buddy, you in here?"

No answer. I check the bottom of every stall. I don't see any feet, and I don't think he'd be lifting his feet. I walk to the concession stand and look past the line. I run through crowds calling for his name. I search the stands again and the only place I can think left is the bar. I skim through the line there, and I find no one matching his description. I look at my watch and pull out my phone and text him. "Read."

No reason why he wouldn't respond. I wait for a minute or two before texting again—still nothing. I walk around clueless to where he could be. I look up and think he must be outside somewhere. I walk back to the entrance, and he stands there eating ice cream. I call for him but again nothing. I step closer, waving my hands for him to look. He looked over the balcony as I touched him. He doesn't jump suddenly at all and slowly turns around.

"Hey, man, where you went off to?"

"..."

"Oh, yea, you don't talk. I always find that funny. Everyone else is so loud it's easy to forget you, but I can't. Come on, let's head back."

I go to grab his hand, but he pulls away, shaking his head.

"Come on, don't be difficult; the guys are waiting for you, and even the girls don't think I don't notice you looking at Valeria."

"No."

"Why not?"

He peers over the balcony looking onto the street. Cars drive by as I look with him for anything alarming. Not one thing out of sight, nothing out of the ordinary, stands out to me. I look back at him. His pupils dilate and change colors before my eyes. They usually are a gray shade, but this time, when I look into them, they turn golden. The sun's rays shine on him, and what he looks at will be bathed in gold. I ask him

"What do you see?"

He stares blankly into the streets, not into any one person but all of them. He doesn't answer. The silence echoed, and I felt a sense of weight on me like I was trying to carry the world. I nearly fall to my knees. I looked over to where his eyes peered but saw nothing. That weight wasn't just whatever he was looking at; It was him. He manifested Himself as the weight on everyone. But how? I look around, bearing the sight of them around me, feeling this effect. Some kids lie down on their stomachs, men and women down on their knees. I look to Charles, who is the only one standing upright. I walk towards him, yelling and pleading for him to stop. He doesn't move a muscle no matter how hard I push him or scream. He stands stiff as a board. I look over the balcony in the direction he's looking. The people on the streets slowly start to feel his effect from further away. It's like a countdown, but Charles is already at zero. I begin to tear up as Charles hurts these innocent people. I never cared for these people, but what of our friends. They are close, and I don't want to see them injured—my eyes water as I start swinging on him, striking him as hard as I can. I swing my arm back and hit him. That strike sends him backward, and he catches himself quickly. He looks at me; deep within my eyes, a fire starts, and he doesn't change his gaze. The effect stops, and everybody resumes their movements again. I breathe a breath of fresh air. His eyes still burn me as he says one phrase.

"YOU WERE THE ONE WHO KILLED OUR FRIENDS DEADMAN!"

The words themselves shock me, but what follows leaves me in distaste. The strength of the effect quakes tenfold, and I'm sent flying backward over the railing. I can only imagine the catastrophic damage left to any passersby. I look down at the civilians. All of them are sent flying outward from his explosion. A semi-truck swerves left and hits a person. Another car flies into a building. A random child gets flung into the air over a house. I'm flying through the sky, what seems to be slowly. I'm sent high into the sky above the buildings and above the stadium. The damage is immeasurable. I watch in horror as another truck rams headfirst into the stadium through the bleachers. I fall right behind it, right in the center of the basketball court. I slam against the ground and leave a crater. My bones feel broken as I can't move. I can't even feel anything. The semi-truck left another massive hole. The ceiling started to cave in; beams began falling in the stands. People and players alike run for safety, trying everything they can to survive. My friends look in disbelief running forward to save me. Well, I thought that was them, but it didn't look like everyone. You and I both know Charles is upright at the entrance. Tommy is there right in front of me, reaching from the hole. Ronny was nowhere to be found. My thoughts begin to haze. Wasn't there someone named.

"Ca... Car... Ca."

I can't think of the name. I can't feel anything. I reach for my feet to make sure I can still walk. I try my right arm still good, and I touch my right foot. I try with my left, nothing. I look down. My left arm can't reach my left foot. My left arm isn't there. My mind rushes into panic mode. I try to scream for help, something to show I'm in pain. No words escape my mouth. I try rolling over to use my right arm to latch onto something. I want to reach my friends. Still, no movement exits my body. I'm trapped. Not only am I trapped in a hole, but I'm trapped in my body. My friends slowly slide down the hill left behind to rescue me. I mouth the words "don't come close. Seek help," but all that goes my mouth is the definite moan. A flaming cry for help that no one will hear. A car flies through the center of the basketball court right into my crater. The driver tries their hardest to swerve out of the way, but it's too late. I can see the panic on his face. I don't feel anything when the car hits them. I don't feel anything when I can't see their faces coming to save me anymore. I don't feel anything when the roof caves in. I don't feel anything anymore. I don't think I ever felt anything. I don't want to feel. I don't feel..... I don't….

In the past few days, I've been unconscious on multiple occasions. This time felt different. The times before, I couldn't hear, I couldn't see or feel anything but this time I could. I felt when rubble fell on me. I felt when the doctors talked to me and yelled for me. I hated that feeling; I hated the pain. I didn't care for what they said until they spoke of other kids. My mind races whenever they bring up any conditions concerning children. None were about my friends. Other ER agents told of the damage on a grander scale. Kids 15 and younger were either killed or severely wounded. All my friends are in that age range.

I try to open my eyes, but all I see is darkness. I try to speak, but the doctors can't hear me. I lie there motionless and forgotten. I'm transported on what I assume is a stretcher loaded onto a truck and sent far away. I don't know where but from what the doctors were discussing, it wasn't to a hospital. They spoke of a facility far off out of the city. They used some words I couldn't understand as they hooked me up to a machine. Once they ran some tests, they noticed I was still conscious and started speaking in a different language. They chose one I'd never heard of, so I couldn't understand them at all. I try not to doze off as they continue to attach things to me. A fluid enters my bloodstream, and I'm drifting off to sleep—the thought of my friend's safety clouds my mind. I wish they were here comforting me, holding my hands, telling me everything would be ok. Ronny would crack a joke about me being a big baby. Louis would buy me something to cheer me up. Carl would try to find happiness in equations. Char... I can't remember who else. Someone else name started with a "C." That name clouds my mind, but they all had one thing in common. They would make fun of me for calling on the Deadman right now. I don't know why I'm thinking of him right now, but I felt he could save me. He will save me. A tear rolls down my cheek, and one of the doctor's notices. He speaks in English and whispers in my ear,

"Everything will be fine. You're safe now."

Those words echo in my head as I drift off to sleep.

I awake tied to a table. I feel groggy, but at least I can perceive things. I look down. Oh yea, still no left arm. I scream out in horror, and a nurse rushes through the door. She tries to calm me down as quickly as possible, but I won't stop screaming. This feeling of being limbless is unbearable. I twist and turn throwing things as tears fall down my face; the nurse tries her best to sedate me, but I continue screaming in pain. I'd hope, if only a slim chance, that someone will hear me and free me, returning me home. Someone did notice. A doctor rushes in, yelling at the nurse to do the proper requirements to put me to sleep. After a few seconds, the doctors put in the parameters to put me to sleep and I'm drifting off. Off I go again to a sweet dreamland in the sky. If only I could feel again.