Hiding the portal gun in an abandoned trail in the suburbs, I walked into the LAPD headquarters, armed only with an uncharged forcefield generator and my sexy, dashing jacket.
Catching the eye of an officer, I was called over quickly, as he gave me a once over.
"So lost lamb, what are you here for? Filing a complaint? Unpaid parking tickets? Day drinking?" He asked, with a lazy eye.
Returning the favor, I checked him out as I replied.
"So officer...Penny?" I said, suppressing a chuckle.
"It's a perfectly masculine name to have!" He rebutted, noticing it.
"Of course. Of course." I replied, "I know the dilemma. My parents name me Jay. Our surname is Walker. Had my fair share of bullies..." I lied, staring into the middle distance, when officer Penny snapped his fingers.
"Hey, hey! No flashbacks. We don't have all day. What are you here for?" He asked, with more gusto this time.
"Ah, yes!" I exclaimed, "I wanted to meet officer Parkman. Matt Parkman. Is he here?"
"Nah. He's on .. other duties." Penny replied.
"Hanging out with that FBI bitch, living the high life you bet!" An officer beside us muttered.
Oho! That means they have already met. Parkman being in the FBI already was good news!
It meant easy access to the walking breathing nuclear power plant that was Ted Sprague.
"So he's not here? Then can I get a number or maybe his address? It's quite urgent."
"Sorry but we're not allowed to divulge officer's contact information wothout consent." Penny said, shaking his head.
"Well that's a shame. Just when I had some juicy information for him, about one Ted Sprague. You might have heard of him?" I asked, and watched their ears perk up.
"The terrorist?" Penny asked.
I nodded, smiling.
"You can just uhm...give me the information. I'll pass it down to him." Penny said, handing me a notepad
"No. I'll only reveal it to officer Parkman. So if you could just give him a call..?" I suggested, pointing at his phone.
"What's the problem with telling me about it?" Penny asked, covering it up.
"Nothing at all, really. Except I've heard the FBI doesn't like others boondoggling on their turf and I really don't wanna get you in trouble." I replied, when a voice sounded out behind me.
"You're damn right we don't!"
I turned around to find a short blonde woman staring up at me, sipping on a Dunkin coffee.
"I'll take it from here." She said, authoritatively, as she sized me up.
"Follow me." She added, and led me put to her car, while finished her coffee.
Shoving the can into her backseat, she leaned against the side of her car, before speaking.
"Go on. What do you know about Ted Sprague?" She asked, flipping off her sunglasses.
"Nothing much really. Just that he is a terrorist, and you're holding onto him, and that he's not exactly dealing in nuclear isotopes." I replied, keeping the crucial bits to myself.
"So you know that much huh? You have those wacky abilities too?" She asked, almost unsure of her sanity.
"No. Just a regular dude. Your average joe. Fresh off the street." I replied.
"Look here buster, you either give me something solid or I put you in for wasting police resources. So what's it gonna be?" She threatened.
"Hmm...how about I meet Parkman first, then give you the info?" I suggested.
"Or you give me what I need now and I don't put in cuffs for the night." She rebutted.
"Ooh kinky~ What are we talking whips, candles-" I teased.
"Oh there will be whips alright, when you're rotting Guantanamo Bay." She interjected.
"A beach vacation? Gee lady, slow down on the heat there. I might just fall for you!" I continued flirting, ignoring her threats.
Finally, she sighed and gave in.
"Fine. We'll go and meet Parkman. But if I find out you're chipping me on this..." She relented.
"You won't." I smiled, assuring her.
"Get in then." She said, starting the car, as I popped into the car.
Within the hour, she led to an FBI safehouse in the heart of the city, where Parkman was pacing the fromt desk impatiently.
"What took you so long?" He asked, cranky, rubbing his temples.
"Coffee. And this asshole." She said, pointing to me.
"Hello there, officer Parkman. Nice to meet you." I said, as he gave me a queer look.
"Yo!" I spoke in my mind, "Parkman
If you can hear me, scratch your nose."
He suddenly stepoed back startled, before silently obeying, scratching his nose.
"Good." I continued, with loud thoughts, "I feared you lost a couple of screws from what that Haitian did to you in the bar that day. Intrigued?
Wanna know what they did to you? Why you can hear people's thoughts? Then I have a deal for you.
I'll need you to lead me to Teddy in there. Make up an excuse. Any excuse. Just get me an audience with him. In return, I'll tell you about the man in the horn rimmed glasses who messed with your head that day at the bar. Deal?"
Parkman scratched his nose again, as the FBI lady looked at the both of us intrigued.
"Is this..are you having a mental conversation right now?" She asked, frustrated, as she pinched Parkman.
"Ow. How did you know?" He asked.
"I'm not an idiot. Now tell me what you were talking about." She said as Parkman looked at me.
"Follow my lead." I thought, turning to her.
"Just pleasantaries. It's not everyday you meet a telepath." I said, changing the topic, "But that aside, let's talk about what I know about Ted's ...um... condition, let's just say. Can we get a private room, perhaps?"
"Sure. Why not?" She replied, annoyed, and led us to an empty office.
Taking a seat, I took a second to organize my thoughts.
"Um miss ..?" I asked.
"Agent. Agent Hansen." She replied.
"Alright. Agent Hansen. What Ted Sprague and even Parkman here can do, is a sign of evolution. It's an evolutionary characteristic that let's them harness abilities beyond human capabilities. They are the beta test for the next step in the evolutionary chain. Evolved humans of sorts. Now Teddy, he has a special and very deadly power - he can create radiation from his body, at yields high enough to wipe New York from the map."
" Yeah, we know that. That's why he's in a lead lined containment cell here, in the basement. Tell me something I don't know!"
"Well if you insist. Gorilla penises are actually tiny compared to their sizes, ranging from 1 to 2 inches at most." I replied, confusing her asshe slammed the table.
" Enough games!" She scolded.
"Jeez, fine. Here's the deal. Ted is going to blow up, and when he does, he'll take down this whole building with him."
"Wait what?!" Parkman exclaimed, rising from his seat
"Sit your ass down, Parkman." Agent Hansen ordered, "And you, continue."
"See, the thing is, these powers, they are like a bridge between voluntary and involuntary impulses." I bullshitted, "So they are ruled by emotions. The stronger the emotion, the stronger the power's output.
And I'm guessing being in a bunker 24/7, bearing the guilt of his wife's death to his own radiation, and mentally heckled by you guys, he's really riding that narrow edge of insanity right now. He could blow up any minute now, and wipe out the city with him."
Horror spread across their faces as they leaned forward, gripping their knuckles.
"How do we stop this?" She asked, her voice ragged.
"Let me meet him. Let me talk to him. He's looking for some answers and I think you are as well, Mr. Parkman. So let me answer you, and maybe, just maybe, I'll be able to get him to control his powers." I explained.
"No. Absolutely not. I will not risk a civilian, much less someone who knows about this evolution step thing meet an unhinged terrorist!" Agent Hansen replied.
"Listen, agent Hansen, this is no joke. One mistake and he will wipe out everyone here. And I mean everyone. From people and buildings down to the bugs in the sewers."
"That just means we need to move him to a more remote facility, where he can't harm anyone." Agent Hansen said, unconvinced.
"Mr. Parkman?" I said, looking to him for a nudge, only to face betrayal.
"I think she's right. We can't waste any more time. We need to move him as soon as possible. My family lives in this city!" He replied.
Haah!
I sighed. This is not working!
And here I thought I could get my way without revealing my cards.
But I suppose, I can lead a bargain with one.
With my decison made, I looked Agent Hansen in the eyes, and spoke the magic words.
"I...