I don't know why it was so hard to go and let go of everything I ever had in this world. I hope now, it's not my time to go to the place of immortality.
Let people go for those who want to go. Let people sleep for those who want to sleep. However, right now I still want to stay here. In a world where the people I care about are.
I didn't expect to see beautiful flowers, and live in paradise. That is false hope. Hell might be a more suitable place for me. However, I don't want to think about that just yet. Whether it's going to heaven or to hell someday, I don't want to rush.
I still want to be in this world. Although only darkness will I feel after this. True, I feel like opening my eyelids, but my vision is still dark. Not a single ray of light here.
I have never felt such excruciating pain as when I was a child. Perhaps, the happiness I've had these past few years is the trigger.
When my heart is happy, all the pain seems to no longer touch this body. Dad, Papa, and Daddy showered me with love until I drowned in the ocean of happiness.
However, the last few days I felt it again. The pain came back gradually. I thought that it was pain from a head injury, but there was something else that made this pain so excruciating.
True, I think this pain is a kind of pain suggestion due to psychological factors. So I don't think any painkillers are of any use to me.
I hear if there really is pain suggestion. At first, I couldn't believe it. Could it be true that there was such a thing? However, now I feel it myself. It really hurts.
Father Jaya said, "Papa Kevin, whom you love, just left us, Joon! Without saying goodbye or just leaving a memo taped to the refrigerator as usual!"
I clearly remember Father Jaya's face, he looked so disappointed when he said those words.
Worse yet, Papa Kevin sold his house, the place where we have all sorts of memories of our tragedies and comedies. Ah, when I remember that I feel like screaming hysterically. If my father's guess is true, then what will I do after this?
Forgetting for a moment my confusion due to a tragic fate, right now I don't know where I am. I don't know if it's early or late. Dark.
In this darkest darkness, I can't tell the difference between the sky and the land.