Almost every night, I cry myself to sleep. 
Almost every day, I am reminded that I am not loved.
Almost everyday, I am made fun of.  
Almost everyday, I go through an emotional night mare.

I can't escape because my tormentors.  The very cause of my night mares, live under the same roof as I. 

They are my brothers and no matter how much I try to avoid them, I am always the target of their abuse. 


Family Again

He left me on the floor, clutching my bruised stomach. I slowly got up and with a snail's pace, went to the bathroom. I forced up all the contents I'd eaten this morning. The room was spinning and wouldn't stop. 


As I laid there alone, on the cold hard ground, I played over Jayson's words to me . Why did I allow myself to hope? Jayson's right, Drew wouldn't like me... Who would? At this point my life was going nowhere . Maybe I should just do what Brandon suggested. 


If I killed myself then I wouldn't be a burden on Adam anymore. If I killed myself then Brandon would be happy. If I killed myself then Jayson and Jayden would start talking to each other again. 


I sighed. It didn't matter if I wanted to kill myself. I didn't have the guts to carry it through. 


I got up and went to class. Since the incident in the cafeteria; all of my teachers knew I wasn't well; so all I had to do was make up an excuse as to why I wasn't in my previous class. 


CHAPTER 13