Poor man

Many things can destroy a person. But shame can destroy a man more than anything else. And when Adelard realized what was depicted in these photographs, he almost fell out of his chair. In each picture was him and other strangers. They were all on the bed, around him, around his body. They loved him, they used everything to make his face contort with pleasure. And in the rest of the photographs it was just him and Jean. Two bodies, one love. Adelard was with his eyes closed while Jean was always behind of him. But the scariest thing was that in each of the photographs, Adelard's face was as if he was feeling good. And in each photograph, he had his arm around Jean's back and was even looking toward the camera that was filming everything.

Terrified, throwing it all on the floor, Adelard ran out of the house. Those scenes from that moment kept playing before his eyes. Now he remembered everything. He remembered the night he had appeared before everyone in his fragile form. He remembered how Celeste had made him do all those things while he, himself, was in a strange sense of intoxication. He remembered the way Celeste first took advantage of all the glory, right in front of the camera and a few other onlookers. Yes, he remembered the audience, too, sitting behind the veil and whispering and sighing. But most importantly, he remembered all those moments with Jean. When he made strange noises, when he loved more than he loved Celeste. He remembered his hands that made him break all his pride for the sake of surprising his audience and for the photographs for someone else's collection of such things. Before his eyes were those shots where his fragile body was subjected to observation. And it was all done by his wife, his Celeste. The one he loved, but maybe not. Without noticing that in his other hand he was still clutching another photograph of him and Jean and another unknown woman, Adelard ran forward. Never before had betrayal felt so clear and sharp. Like a knife, like a disease, it hurt him. And from this pain he could not escape. Even if his feet ran far away, toward the sea, wishing to find peace in the waters.

"She lied to you. You were just her puppet. She made a lot of money off you. On your candid pictures." It was a voice that echoed in his head and everywhere. On the walls of houses, among the streets, in the sky, at the bottom of the sea, from the lips of every passerby, in the air and in the clouds. That voice belonged to no one. Or maybe it was the truth itself that began to speak. And with each sound, Adelard slowly went mad. Only now could he feel how low he had fallen. He realized he had lost everything. But most importantly, he trusted the one who deceived him, leaving an eternal trail of pain in his soul. And no matter how strong a person may seem, pain exists and has always existed.

The future always comes with illusion and deception. The future, the result of imagination. A person always perceives the future as something that will come true. A person thinks the future is in his hands. But what if, a person does not live in time. What if, a person is time. Just an arrow that flies forward. Without realizing that in this movement is the whole meaning of existence. Flying forward, without the possibility of turning back. To feel the freedom of flight. And while the arrow flies, life goes on. But what if, a person stops flying? Like Adelard, who was tired and lost and in love. Why did he stop? Why did he cry so hard when his feet stopped not far from the sea? And all because of love. Love is frightening. But most importantly, love brings the past, the future and the present together. And it doesn't matter that a person once lived feeling free. Love takes everything away. And we all need to accept that truth. But as for Adelard, he refused to accept this truth at all. Clutching the photograph, looking at his best friend whose arms were around his stomach, Adelard continued to cry. He wanted to cry forever. Until the tears would create a sea.

The weather was perfect. There were no clouds in the sky. It was warm and there were lots of people around. Women in beautiful dresses and men with proud looks walked slowly along the sea, admiring life. They passed Adelard who was sitting on his knees, continuing to cry. They did not look at him as they had before. He had become nothing to them, a nobody. They were even afraid to look at him. After all, the whole town knew and saw all his shame. But Adelard only found this out when a man approached him with the words, "My home is not far from here. Why don't you come over to my place and I'll show you all the art of love."

"What?"

"You're Adelard, aren't you? So handsome," the man said, touching his cheek, then his neck. There was a sly smile on his face that concealed an intelligent man with a good education and three beautiful children. Only now, Adelard could see clearly what people are really like.

Creatures that are always hiding.

"Come. I promise to make you happy," the man continued, forcing him to stand up.

Awakened by his reflection, Adelard pushed his hand away and said, "What are you doing." It wasn't even a question. It was the words of a tired man.

"How beautiful you are. A real angel," the man continued to say.

Adelard laughed nervously and not knowing what to say, how to say it, just walked away from him.

"Wait!" Catching glances at him, Adelard knew what they were thinking. They looked at him with hatred and avoided him as if he were contagious. And yet, once upon a time, they smiled at him and greeted him like a king. Knowing that behind a smile there is always a person ready to judge and hate, Adelard laughed like a madman. He laughed as he walked forward. He laughed, but the tears kept running down like two rivers.

"Aren't you ashamed? I've always respected you! And you turned out to be such a terrible man. You have so much sin that no one will ever help you," said the older woman with the little girl. "Mary, look at this man. This is the face of someone who has lost his faith and become a nobody. That's what happens to those who live this kind of life. And how he deceived everyone! That's what beauty hides!"

"Yes. You're right. Such a handsome face and what a terrible soul. And that body, he didn't use all his beauty for good purposes. Did you see what he was doing? And those pictures? They are horrible. There are just no words," the other woman said, who was looking at him in disgust.

"Run away! Go away before you're sorry!" someone shouted in his wake, and when Adelard fell down, right in front of the homeless man who was sleeping on the ground, everyone started laughing.

"Look! He's already throwing himself at homeless people. Adelard, what are you willing to do for a man's attention?"

Poisonous laughter poisoned his soul and heart, giving no opportunity for healing.

"I'm sorry," Adelard said, gingerly lifting the homeless man off the ground. After all, Adelard remembered that face. After all, he had helped this man several times and given him enough money to start a new life. Surprised, he asked, "What are you doing?"

"I live here!" the homeless man exclaimed and shoved him forcefully. "You don't have to stand next to me. A man like you doesn't deserve anything good."

"You said you were going to start your life all over again. But why are you here again?" Adelard asked, feeling unfair. After all, he clearly remembered the day he had treated this poor man to lunch and then solemnly handed him a large sum of money.

"You're a dirty man. And you still say that to me! How dare you! Go away!"

"Look, even a homeless man seems beautiful and clean next to Adelard! Shame!" someone shouted and loud laughter followed.

"Adelard, you have become worse than a homeless man. And how did you cheat us all? And at night you've been doing all this. How do you even live in this world?"